back to article Smartphone hard, dudes, like it’s the end of the world!

Welcome back. Just think, it’s been a week already since glum users began reluctantly re-occupying seats that had been blissfully empty during most of Christmas and New Year. No doubt your Monday was spent dealing with forgotten-password requests, Tuesday helping the same users who had already forgotten the replacement password …

Joke

umm...

Sorry what was the name of the phone I didn't quite catch that !!!

WB dabbsy, There seems to of been a mutiny of sorts whilst you were gone! Please could you go angrily stare at them till they behave childishly again.

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Re: umm...

Yes, it's all gone a bit sanitised.

And weekend output is pretty much gone now.

:-(

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Angel

All That's New is Old Again

You must have had a good Christmas, Dabbsy. Judging by your mugshot, you've aged about ten years since your last article.

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Re: All That's New is Old Again

"Judging by your mugshot, you've aged about ten years

I thought he'd put on about 10 kilos!

Must be all that sitting around on his arse, eating and drinking, instead of fighting his way through the commuter rush and existing on 3 day old sandwiches...

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Re: All That's New is Old Again

That's what using cheapy Chinese white-label phones with SAR ratings higher than sticking your head in a microwave does to you. I hope everyone realises that they should stick with Apple, the radio signal can't even get through your hands if you hold it wrong.

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Best article ever.

I am scared to think we have hit peak Dabsy.

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Re: Best article ever.

Could start a new trend for reviewing products without mentioning their name - except it would take about 3 weeks for this to become the new hipster trend....

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Re: Best article ever.

If we start it on Ello, would take about 2 hours...

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Re: Best article ever.

Judging by the new-look El Reg we will have to treasure each SFTW as we do each episode of Sherlock because there's only a two or three every year and a bit.

(Apart from the last one which was a bit too clever for its own good.)

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Re: Best article ever.

An increase in readership will improve my chances of survival here on The Reg, so a bit of social media sharing by readers will help...

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Re: Best article ever.

Posted on Ello.

Prepare to have to go around incognito around Shoreditch for fear of being mobbed.

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Re: Best article ever.

Ok, I've printed the article and will post it on the memo board Monday AM promptly. :)

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Re: Best article ever.

"(Apart from the last one which was a bit too clever for its own good.)"

OT I know, but I liked the plot twist in which we don't know whether 19th century Sherlock is dreaming 21st century or vice versa, or whether they are dreaming part of one another's lives.

sandraandwoo.com played a similar game with its readers leading up to Christmas, [spoiler alert] with a similar plot twist in which while the main character thinks she has been dreaming, her pet raccoon is wearing an artefact from the "dream".

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Re: Best article ever.

Ok, I've printed the article and will post it on the memo board Monday AM promptly.

If you were really dedicated, you'd fax it to all the numbers in your contacts.

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Devil

Steel Panther

I don't think they actually have any SFW videos. Good lads.

They're a hair metail version of the Macc Lads.

We need a ROCK! icon.

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Re: Steel Panther

"We need a ROCK! icon."

We have one. Sadly, he just died. But his music will live into eternity.

As the Great One said between sets at Leeds: "Rock on, gentlemen!".

RIP, Lemmy.

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Devil

Re: Steel Panther

Steel Panther is possibly the last thing I'd have expected to see on The Reg.

Though if I had to guess which author...

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Anonymous Coward

Error loading YouTube:

Embedding not allowed...

Meh.

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Happy

New look ElReg

You didn't get the memo did you?

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Re: New look ElReg

I'm sure he was hauled into the office for a bit of 'reeducation' after submitting this.

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Anonymous Coward

Could any of the reader find out by the specs the name of the reviewed device and write it in the comments? Just in case that somebody would like to buy it...

Posted anonymously so nobody would know who is somebody.

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Holmes

Alcatel pixi 4 (4 inch version) would fit the disclosed specifications, but I suspect you could find dozens of other similarly spec'd phones on the grey market.

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Any cheapo landfill Android device would fit the description. But you can get a semi-decent one for about £100 so not much point paying £65 for a rubbish one.

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Why pay 35 pounds extra for a throwaway phone that's not expected to be decent?

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I did try to look on Google

http://www.pcadvisor.co.uk/test-centre/mobile-phone/12-cheapest-smartphones-2015-uk-best-android-windows-phone-under-50-may-3600474/

There's about 6 that fit the bill there alone - but unfortunately they all seem to come in way under the £65 mark.

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Pint

Top stuff

But I suspect I am far from alone in having a 'burner' phone for said activites? In my case my very much beloved Razr i, albeit with my current sim. My mate for years used a flip Nokia which got retirted last summer....

Still, I demand to know what this is, the Doogee X5 Pro is too big for this function really. Someone don their dearstalker please.

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This post has been deleted by its author

Thumb Up

I want one too v2.0

[ v2.0 because I missed the 10-minute edit window having taken a quick look on teh interwebs and found that prices for similar items have gone down even further since the one quoted in the article ]

A basic smartphone for occasional use, for those rare times when my clamshell* portable telephonic apparatus isn't enough, e.g. extremely approximate map location** and email without having to trust someone else's cybercaff. Possibly wishful thinking for such a budget item but if it can also do tethering for the fondleslab then we have a winner.

* no 'butt-dialling', extremely hard to break and a battery life of just under a month standby, about a week under frequent use (better than their stated spec too). Less is more.

** even in the UK, online map locations are crap, I dare you to try relying on these abroad, it doesn't matter how good the GPS is when the map shows the destination on wrong road in the wrong town and it takes 6 months to get corrections done...

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Re: Top stuff

I wish I still had a working Razr I, rather than one that was dropped from 17meters onto concrete!

I'm assuming it's an Acer Z220 that was reviewed. It got slated for the screen, but otherwise it would be an upgrade from the Huweai U8180 I'm currently using , still running fro-yo!

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Software SIM

I'd be great to just leave one's house with a suitable phone... a cheap one for drunk nights out, a big rugged one for weekend camping trips, a fancier phone for that long rail commute.

However, being tied to a physical SIM is an issue. Yeah, I can shrug off the loss of a £20 phone on a night out, but not having my SIM for a couple of days will still be inconvenient.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Software SIM

pop in a pay as you go and forward your usual number?

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Re: I want one too v2.0

Try MapFactor w/free OSM maps, you can correct them yourself (and I do) and frequent updates...

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Re: I want one too v2.0

And forgot the most important thing - OSM maps in MapFactor are downloadable to SD (if you've got one) in unlimited (ex. by card capacity) quantity and geography. Also android only.

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Re: Top stuff

Dabooka, I agree. All I want is to make an occasional phone call or maybe use the calculator function to figure a bar tip after having had too many to figure it mentally.

Those of us who do a lot of physical work can't stick a small tablet in our pockets and expect it to come out in one piece at the end of the day. In our end of the woods, nobody gives a crap about what electronic kit anyone lugs around. Chainsaw, maybe. But, not a phone.

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Re: Software SIM

GiffGaff allow you to transfer from one SIM to another via their web portal. Was much easier than cutting down the old SIM for DD but of course it's not meant to be used for occasional use before reverting to the original SIM.

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Am I the only one ...

... who has noticed that anything labeled "smart" is targeted at people who have absolutely zero idea how the technology works, and thus are the most vulnerable to marketards?

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Re: Am I the only one ...

Judging from the devices I've seen recently, I had assumed smart was a euphemism for already hacked and awaiting exploitation.

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Facepalm

usually just as you turn on to the motorway and 100 miles from the next service station, thereby driving you insane

Or as my iPod did once, crash just I merge onto the M40 when setting off for Scotland. Of course I keep it in the central console. Tucked nicely out of the way right at the front actually underneath the heater controls. I can just about reach it if I duck down and stretch out my arm...

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WTF?

Why not name it?

It's not called the Voldemort is it?

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Re: Why not name it?

I was thinking Hast>connection lost<

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how times change

£65? Just reminded my father that £20 on the even more disposable (but higher spec than [insert name here]) [insert other name] he was considering was a bit pointless without an internet connection or PC.

Could have bought 2 of them with some credit for double the party fun. Next year i fully expect usable phones will be given away with cereal.

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Re: how times change

Next year? There was one embedded in an advert in Entertainment Weekly 4 years ago.

http://mashable.com/2012/10/02/ew-has-smartphone-inside/

I'm old enough to have been impressed by the blinkenlight on Pink Floyd's Pulse so a throw-away smart phone is still astonishing 4 years on.

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Re: how times change

@ Seajay#; The Enterteinment Weekly thing doesn't really count as that was quite obviously a publicity stunt they'd have taken a loss on. The article states they only produced 1000 of those "special" magazines.

Pretty sure it more than paid for itself with the intended result of getting them in the news though.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: how times change

on a similar theme. I once saw a pack of 10 Duracell batteries been sold with free personal cassette players.

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SO Last Year

Couldn't be bothered Googling all day to find the 'mystery' phone. So I stopped when I found a 5 incher with 4G for £65 on a PAYG. plus the essentails for us refuseniks of removable battery and FM radio ..

Worth it all for Steel Panther; Metals answer to the Barron Knights...

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Anonymous Coward

[insert mystery suitable title here]

[insert generic greeting here] Dabbsy! Please [insert URL of mystery manufacturer's website here] so that I can look into purchasing [insert name of mystery product here] by [insert name of mystery manufacturer here]

[insert mystery appreciative comment here]

[insert mystery commentard name here]

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Re: [insert mystery suitable title here] - Sounds like a CAP worthy mention...

Cheap Android phones...

Like these? -> http://www.cheapandroidprojects.education/

You mean mini computers that cost less than a movie and a popcorn?

Yes please!

-CAP

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"Next week, I shall review the Large Hadron Collider for Gizmodo."

Oh please, please, please do that. Maybe not for Gizmodo. But that would be one of the best ever.

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Re: "Next week, I shall review the Large Hadron Collider for Gizmodo."

apparently the postman tried to deliver a Large Hadron Collider while he was out.

You'll find it amongst the roses in the neighbour's back garden, where the postie chucked it when no-one answered the door four seconds after knocking.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "Next week, I shall review the Large Hadron Collider for Gizmodo."

Just be glad he's not reviewing it for CNet, or he'd be forced to rate it unfavourably compared to the iPhone 6S

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