back to article Apply online to go to Mars. No, seriously

NASA has opened registration for the ultimate out-of-this-world job: a trip to Mars as one of its astronauts. "NASA is on an ambitious journey to Mars and we're looking for talented men and women from diverse backgrounds and every walk of life to help get us there," said NASA Administrator and former astronaut Charles Bolden. …

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Go

Astronaut application

"I applied to be an astronaut, and the only part I got right was my name."

- Steve Martin

I expect I'd have the same result. But for those with the right stuff, go for it!

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Coat

Re: Astronaut application

Must be a really keen potato farmer. See Icon

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Salary

Doesn't really matter, no-where to spend it on this trip. And no coming back either.

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Re: Salary

"And no coming back either."

The Mars One project is a one-way trip to colonize the place (and funded by reality TV), but this is a different project. NASA want to go there and come back again:

https://www.nasa.gov/content/nasas-journey-to-mars

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Facepalm

Almost half tempted

...and almost qualified.

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Re: Almost half tempted

I'm fully tempted and completely unqualified.

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They will need a plucky IT guy or gal to sort out their phone issues at the other end.

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IT Angle

Yes, they will need an IT help desk person....

But what happens when they realize they left all the Ethernet cables back on Earth?

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"Have you tried turning Mars off and on again?"

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"They will need a plucky IT guy or gal to sort out their phone issues at the other end"

And therefore also a telephone sanitiser.

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They'll be on the second "B" flight.

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I know that I would make..

the best astronaut corpse possible!

Sadly, the median US salary is ~$27K?! Surely, you mean £27K UK pounds/quids/shillerings/BBC Doctor Who Gallifreian Space Credits? Wow, that's just awful.

Here's a tip if you're making this lowly sum; read a book other than the bible! HAHA! You poor dopes!

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Re: I know that I would make..

"Sadly, the median US salary is ~$27K?! Surely, you mean £27K UK pounds/quids/shillerings/BBC Doctor Who Gallifreian Space Credits? "

No really, that's not a typo ~$26695 is the median, to be precise.

"Here's a tip if you're making this lowly sum; read a book other than the bible! HAHA! You poor dopes!"

The median salary for a Pastor in the United States is $90125. In the States at least, sounds like the good book pays off.

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Joke

Re: I know that I would make..

Jeeves was tutting and shaking his head when you made this comment about the lower end of the working community, or how I like to put it 'the gene pool'. I believe he found that it somewhat offensive.

I, on the other hand, found it amusing - I nearly spat out my caviar and dropped my breakfast glass of Boërl & Kroff Brut.

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Re: I know that I would make..

Well, yes salary.com reported the median salary of U.S. pastors as $90,000. But a lot of other sites were more believable. Check out christianitytoday.com. They came up with $72,500 as the average wage of married pastors, and it included housing/parsonage. Solo pastors were correspondingly less.

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Re: I know that I would make..

It's still a *lot* more than $26695, though, eh?

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Only Americans?

Isn't that despicably racist? Wouldn't it be just brilliant if the first human on Mars was Syrian? Then Donald Trump would have a whole new class of immigrants to hate.

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Re: Only Americans?

" Wouldn't it be just brilliant if the first human on Mars was Syrian? "

It would be far better if the first human on Mars was Donald Trump! Preferably tomorrow and alone

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Re: Only Americans?

There was a thing I saw recently that said "For the cost of 100 missiles we could put Tony Blair on Mars. For the cost of 200 missiles we could put Tony Blair on Mars and fire 100 missiles at him". Works for Trump too.

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Re: Only Americans?

No, it is not racist - American was not a race last I checked (more like quite a number of varieties). Never mind that race, scientifically, does not make sense at all - AFAIR you find more genetic variation in your average group of chimps than in all of humanity.

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Flame

Re: Only Americans?

It would be far better if the first human on Mars was Donald Trump! Preferably tomorrow and alone.

Nah, he'll be on the ship that will be headed toward the sun.

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Re: Only Americans?

Yeah, but he'll probably go at night...

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WTF?

Re: Only Americans?

Discriminating based on ethnicity or sex is illegal but discrimination based on place of birth which is equally random is not only allowable but legally enforced. Strange how these things work out.

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Re: Only Americans?

Without any life support systems to boot. The ultimate Survivor series - "Survivor Mars: Syria Planum". First task is make oxygen from rocks and the little carbon dioxide atmosphere available.

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WTF?

Re: Only Americans?

Look at how famous and remembered Neil Armstrong became after landing on the Moon, do we really want the same for Trump?

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Re: Only Americans?

@ChrisG

It would be far better if the first human on Mars was Donald Trump! Preferably tomorrow and alone

I actually think it'd improve the quality of politicians if it was mandatory that whichever parties candidate that loses the election HAS to go to Mars. You'd immediately cut out those whose heart isn't really in the game, and those who don't really believe in serving their country.

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Angel

I know one guy

He's qualified, but there is no space suit built for him. Sorry old friend.

It isn't me either... I'd probably fit in most space suits. But my Bachelor's is sadly not in their search spectrum.

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I need a holiday ...

I read that as ' Apple online to go to Mars.'

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Gimp

Re: I need a holiday ...

Eh, Tim Cook will probably announce the iRocket at his next dog-and-pony show :)

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Coat

Re: I need a holiday ...

Then we can get all the Fanbois singing

Ground Control to Major Tim

Mines the one with a dog eared copy of 'Out of the Silent Planet' in the pocket.

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ZSn

death trap

While it seems heroic to apply to go a little thought gives us cowards thought. Apart from the 1% change of bring fried in takeoff or landings (x2 for two planets) you can also look forward to radiation poisoning, bone loss, dementia from the radiation, cancer from radiation. And having to smell your fellow astronauts farts for several months at a time. All this to stand on a rock marginally farther from the sun. As a card carrying coward - no thanks. However, I'm not stopping the more intrepid amongst, feel free to go with my blessings.

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Happy

Re: death trap

I don't think it would be that much worse than your average package tour.

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Re: death trap

That, and your name in the history books next to Yuri Gagarin, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin.

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Re: death trap

Fine, you stay here, I'll go in your place. I'd like the challenge and perhaps attaining the goal of standing where no human has ever stood before. Since no one gets out of this life alive, one might as well go out doing something grand.

I also realize that at my age, I won't be around when they finally get the funding to launch the rocket... <sigh>

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Missed opportunity.

Astronaut got talent.

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Anonymous Coward

qualifications?

Don't forget "good grades", "physical endurance", "doesn't throw up a lot" and "people like spending a week with me"

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Re: qualifications?

They'd better like spending a year and a half with you. Because that is the quickest round trip to Mars we can possibly manage to do now.

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Honestly, Mars is just a way for the rich to get richer.

*facepalm*

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I'd pay $66,000 to go to Mars!

Shame about the US citizen bit

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You'd better add a few zeros to that number you have there. A trip to Mars could easily top 12 digits. Which is quite the bargain really. Considering going to the Moon cost 11 digits. You can split the tab a few ways too.

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Why the ungenerous salary ?

There is every likelihood that they won't collect ...

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Anonymous Coward

US Median income is $51,939 (2014) -- if Internet search is to be trusted.

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Try to understand what your query returns, as a search for "US Median income" gives you the following:

"$50,500

The median wage in the US per person is $26,695. This tells us a lot since the median household income is at $50,500.

(31 Dec. 2012)"

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Trollface

Yeah that will happen.

The applicants will die of old age before NASA ever gets enough funding and gets their act together to actually go to Mars. Its a pure PR trolling stunt.

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Thumb Up

It all evens out

The salary may suck but the travel benefits are out of this world.

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Re: It all evens out

True, except your flying in one class lower than coach, the food is probably not that good, and the flight attendants are none existent. But what a ride....

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Childcatcher

Re: It all evens out

If you cannot make good off of being one of the first on Mars (assuming you come home), there really is no hope for you.

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mtp

Re 'average pay' beware casual statistics

http://www.johndcook.com/blog/2008/10/20/nearly-everyone-is-above-average/

There must be a good applying for the role of Tarzan joke here somewhere but it is too late at night to work out the details. "I have nothing against your right leg - the problem is that neither have you".

Beware poorly sourced statistics.

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Age Limit

Is this open to Americans this side of John Glenn on his last space fligtht?

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