back to article HPE's private London drinking club: Name that boozer

Our recent shock exposé on plans by Hewlett Packard Enterprise to open a private drinking club in its new City of London HQ led to speculation as to what exactly the boozer might be christened. To recap, a Reg reader spotted a licence application attached to the front of 1 Aldermanbury Square, on which the-then HP signed a 15- …

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First thought

Hurling Puking Evacuating... sorry it's early!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: First thought

Excessively complex making it an acronym. The Hurlitt Puke-ard is plenty good enough.

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So many to choose from

The Outsource and Duck.

The Offshore Inn.

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ZSn

Wibble

The Hurd Inn?

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Pint

Hey, no fair!

I already pre-emptively entered this competition a fortnight ago!

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(Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

Re: Hey, no fair!

Previous comments are on the consideration list, fret ye not.

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Re: Hey, no fair!

Well, even so, I'm re-submitting "The Ink Cartridge" here.

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HP Packaging

Knowing HP, you will open a series of doors to a series of ever smaller rooms. In the final, smallest room there will be half a pint of lager shandy fully encased in styrofoam.

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Re: HP Packaging

So, The Box and Padding?

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Re: HP Packaging

It would actually be fantastic if they named it that.

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Re: HP Packaging

I think we have a winner! Not only totally fitting for HP - the world's single largest offender in packaging to contents ratio even for trifles like license certificates - but also fits in perfectly with the typical English "x and y" pub names!

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Mos Eisley Cantina

Should adequately give a hint at the quality of clientele

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Aon ósta cánach

Given their prediliction for Irish tax avoidance schemes I would take it to be a "genuine"{1.} Oirish <sic> pub called the Aon ósta cánach or as you English speakers might say "No Tax Inn".

1. About as genuine and as Irish as a snake goulash or a year round dry spot.

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How about...

The Abandon Hope ( all who dare to enter the HPE world)

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The Sauce Boat

It works on several levels

- HP Sauce (a well known comestible on this side of the Atlantic)

- Sauce as slang for alcohol

- Sauce Boat as a allusion (?) to Gravy Train; this is the IT industry after all.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sauce_boat

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Re: The Sauce Boat

A comestible you say ? Symptoms after consumption of such condiments are often more akin to a combustible.

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Devil

Disappointed

As they've expressly stamped their jackboots and said that they should be called HPE or Hewlett Packard Enterprise but not the perfectly reasonable HP Enterprise, I'm disappointed that El Reg is allowing itself to be bullied in this way. HP Enterprise should be part of El Reg's style guide, just because.

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Re: Disappointed

Bullied? As a matter of course, we try to call companies as they call themselves at least once in the article. Yahoo! is a good example.

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How about

Hopelessness Pissup Expected

Yes pushing it a bit there...

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Since this is London...

...we need a good traditional British pub name...

How about 'The Merger and Split'?

However since we live in Hipster times, and given the Logo colour, why not simply call the place:

'Cyan', or even 'CMYK'

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The Hype Inn

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.matrix

harks back to their roots, but sounds a little bit techy.

use courier for extra kudos.

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The H PEE Bar

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The Dead Horse.

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The Turkey's Head.

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Ye Olde Apothecary

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How about the... Don't Bother Coming, Just Send Us Your Money

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Pint

HP Instant (Dr)Ink

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Pint

HP Enterprise - it could only be "Ten Forward"

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The Garage ?

or maybe The Ink and Printer? (yeah, OK, wrong bit of HP)

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Pint

I'm thinking, 'Not The Garage'

would be more appropriate.

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The Jolly Coda.

(A noteworthy end to a day's programming.)

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Autonomy

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Anonymous Coward

Hey I already did that one :)

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The Blade Bar

Screwdriver not included

The Beer and Switch

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Pint

The Beer and Switch

Ordering a pint you will get served two packets of crisps and a complimentary beer mat. You will then need to fill in an RMA for the crisps before the desired beverage will be delivered to you (if in stock). The bill amounts to a fair chunk of the GNP of Namibia, simply because you forgot to uncheck the "Gold Product Support" option.

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Facepalm

The Fiorina and Fiasco

A friend of mine had a fairly senior position with HP during the Fiorina period and all the stories I heard ranged from bad to "she did what???"

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The Due Diligence

You go in and it's empty :)

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Pint

I don't know what it'll be called, but judging by the company's printer ink management techniques I fully expect that the staff will whip your pint away when it gets below half full.

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And cost US$60k per pint. :)

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Carly's Climax?

Meg's Menagerie?

Hot Pornbar?

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Devil

Drink up

The Race to the Bottom

The Stagnant Salary

The Redundant Server

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(Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

Re: Drink up

Harsh... did you ever work at HP?

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Pint

"The DrinkJet"

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At over £2000 a pint who could afford to drink there?

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Yes, but.....

@ BlartVersenwaldIII

The glass only costs £0.05

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Name

The Foo Bar

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It should be called "The Professional Service"

With a motto above the bar that in big friendly letters states that "We're not satisfied until you're not satisfied..."

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Re: It should be called "The Professional Service"

"The Professional Service"

not a good idea unless it gets frequented by certain Ladies of the Night.......

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Second offering

Crash Palace

The Bloated Bar

Really, I'll stop now. Maybe at beer thirty I will have some better inspiration ;-}

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