back to article 'Dear Daddy...' Max Zuckerberg’s Letter back to her Father

Yesterday Mark Zuckberg accompanied the birth of his first child, a daughter Max, with a long open letter. Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, we've found what Max might write back, and we're sharing it with you: Dear Daddy Thank you for the letter that your PR and public policy team wrote to mark my Birth, and sent to …

Anonymous Coward

Awesome

This is awesome. :)

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Coat

Re: Awesome

(@AC - is that you Mark?)

yep - tax efficient too. Not that there was any danger of much tax being paid already.

An even better way to make the world a better place would have been to tell the billions of Facebook users to go and get a life/go out for a walk/read a book/talk to their neighbours/watch the paint dry. And then fold the company. I'm just grateful that I don't have much time left in this rock

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Awesome

Everything is awesome!

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Re: Awesome

Interesting that I haven't seen anyone attacking Zuck on that amazingly self-serving (OK, the whole letter is self-serving, but, you know) part where he gives Facebook access to everyone and eliminates poverty in the same breath.

Actually, that's kinda breathtaking in its own conceited, pompous way.

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K
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'Dear Daddy...'

You did WHAT??? ... that was my f*cking inheritance!

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Coat

Re: 'Dear Daddy...'

Once I'm old enough to find out that you've created a FaceBook page in MY name and without MY consent, I will sue the everloving crap out of you !

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Re: 'Dear Daddy...'

It was 99% of his shares... I don't know if that was actually "the 99% remaining after he'd given 50% of them to the kid".

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Headmaster

Re: 'Dear Daddy...'

Personally, I think it was Mommy who decided that Daddy needs to cough up all of his cash... I saw a picture next to the headline this morning, and it looked like he was having a "you did what in my name" moment. See Icon

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Thumb Down

Re: 'Dear Daddy...'

"Once I'm old enough to find out that you've created a FaceBook page in MY name and without MY consent, I will sue the everloving crap out of you !"

Isn't this what parental consent is all about?

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Pint

How about we get them modern electricity grids and cheap reliable energy first?

That'd be those 2600+ Coal Fired power stations that are planned to be built over the next decade or so, thus ensuring a nightmare 4°C global average temperature rise (if we believe the predictions).

How about we invent something better FIRST?

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FAIL

Re: How about we get them modern electricity grids and cheap reliable energy first?

@JeffyPooh

That'd be those 2600+ Coal Fired power stations that are planned to be built over the next decade or so, thus ensuring a nightmare 4°C global average temperature rise (if we believe the predictions).

How about we invent something better FIRST?

Yes, lets just make those poor people die in the cold & dark while we have a think about solving a problem that is decidedly below this item on the global agenda. Nobody has ever died due to climate change anywhere in the world. Even in the UK we lose xx,000's every winter due to cold, and we have electrickery.

Ignoring the very real world problems of today because it doesn't fit your personal agenda for something that might one day possibly be something of a problem if the science is right and if we halt the progress of technology, well, that just isn't even remotely credible.

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Re: How about we get them modern electricity grids and cheap reliable energy first?

"That'd be those 2600+ Coal Fired power stations that are planned to be built over the next decade or so, thus ensuring a nightmare 4°C global average temperature rise (if we believe the predictions)."

But you have to recharge those super-efficient and clean electric cars somehow.. They're going to save the earth you know...

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Re: 'Dear Daddy...'

1% of 45 billion is still a hell of a lot of money.

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Re: How about we get them modern electricity grids and cheap reliable energy first?

How about a comprehensive use of renewable energy and nuclear plants instead?

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Re: How about we get them modern electricity grids and cheap reliable energy first?

Most estimates over the last few years of deaths due to climate change (i.e. the increase in mortality today over what would have been predicted with a 1990 global climate) run at a couple of hundred thousand per year. That's quite a long way from "nobody".

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Re: How about we get them modern electricity grids and cheap reliable energy first?

@Julian

Most estimates over the last few years of deaths due to climate change (i.e. the increase in mortality today over what would have been predicted with a 1990 global climate) run at a couple of hundred thousand per year. That's quite a long way from "nobody".

Most estimates by the green lobby you mean? Well, they would say that wouldn't they.

And yet, here we are, STILL waiting for the first death certificate to feature the words "climate change" upon it, still with zero actual deaths. Does bad weather kill people? Well, yeah, but bad weather and what you perceive as climate change are - with some heroic assumptions in your favour - at best correlated, not causal.

And still we lose hundreds of thousands of people across northern Europe alone due to cold weather every single year. Factor in the losses in the 3rd world where fuel is whatever burns, and we could save more people in one single year than will ever see "climate change" upon a death certificate. Unless, of course, those poor people huddled around small yak shit fire don't count?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: How about we get them modern electricity grids and cheap reliable energy first?

"...poor people die in the cold & dark..."

The world's extreme poor are most often not cold.

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Re: How about we get them modern electricity grids and cheap reliable energy first?

Check out Bloom Energy, they have solved the energy problem big time. Its only a matter of time before they dominate

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Re: How about we get them modern electricity grids and cheap reliable energy first?

>>"...poor people die in the cold & dark..."

>The world's extreme poor are most often not cold.

... and people have more sex and get more sleep when then environment isn't artificially lit.

Maybe we should think about feeding people before we give them TV? Better yet, why not teach them how to farm the land sustainably rather than trying to flog them GMO cash crops? Maybe with enough food and efficient water usage, they don't even need electricity. Hah! An idea to send shivers down Apple's spine!

Permaculture anyone? You don't have to be a hippy to move a bit of earth around and put some mulch down. Alas, there are no billions of dollars in training and having people grow food for themselves is bad for business and bad for tax receipts.

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Perhaps, just perhaps...

... if he was *REALLY* being altruistic and helping people, he'd've considered doing this *before* his own offspring was born? Rather than now, when it just looks like a shameful attention grab and him only "making a difference" because it might conceivably make some difference to his own daughter (which it won't of course as she's already set up for life) instead of when it could make a difference to the millions upon millions of children born into poverty, with no heat, light, food, education and, yes, no Facebook.

</cynicism>

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

It wouldn't have mattered when he'd done this. It would still come off as self-promotion. Which probably has to do with the fact, that Zuckerberg has surely well-established his image as a proficient sociopath, whose every deed is motivated by some kind of utter self-interest.

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Joke

Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

a 30 billion dollar publicity stunt? talk about needy :)

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

Why the hell do people continue to bring children into poverty?

Oh yey, we've got no water, electricity, internet, heating - LETS HAVE A CHILD!

The best thing the 3rd world can do is as jezza would say "Put something on the end of it!" How about we fund THAT instead and then we can stop seeing these horrible ads on TV of starving children whilst I'm trying to eat my tea!

Downvote all you want, you know I'm right!

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

Actually, Daniel, I agree with you: "if ya' can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em" should apply everywhere, not just in the "over there" places. That said, there are some challenges with this:

- Many places "over there" were fairly self-regulating until The Empire Builders discovered oil/ gold/ resources and plundered the bejabbers out of the place, disrupting family/ clan farming and other lifeways that had served reasonably well for centuries if not millenia. Pretty hypocritical to go somewhere, take all the resources, run the place to ruin, and then tell the occupants they shouldn't breed because they have no resources. That said, breeding beyond carrying capacity helps no one. Not sure how to square this circle.

- Many cultures still hold a "many children = much status" belief. This is useful in farming communities -- more able bodies to work the farm -- but in urban ones? Again, not sure how to address this.

- There has been progress made in areas where women are given/allowed more education. Most women "over there" bear the brunt of having more kids than the family can raise, but often do not have much control over the situation (hubby = final word). Education to grow skills to bring in more income (to sustain more kids) and/or to acquire birth control (to limit the number of kids in the first place) works and we need more of it. Not more fecebook.

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

"- Many cultures still hold a "many children = much status" belief. This is useful in farming communities -- more able bodies to work the farm -- but in urban ones? Again, not sure how to address this."

In some parts of the world, having many surviving children is also your pension plan and ingrained into the culture.

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

Factor in increases in health technology which enables more viable pregnancies; enables more infants to reach childhood; enables more children to attain sexual maturity; than in the past.

This technology is delivered to cultures where the rutting behavior of males to create more conceptions gives better survival odds for the culture.

With no change in sexually aggressive behavior of the males, the population grows beyond sustainability.

So yes, increasing economic opportunity for females is the obvious solution.

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

One of the more interesting things that you can discover in international development is how quickly the calculation of children as personal workforce and retirement fund, then just retirement fund that consumes a lot of your resources before it generates a return, if it does generate a return. State funded retirement schemes have roles in the calculation.

When kids go from source to sink, guess how many you're going sink an investment in? Damn little in the wealthiest economies, per capita.

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Pint

Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

DH listed "...heating..."

Travel much?

(Hint: The poorest areas of Earth often need Air Conditioning, not heating.)

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

People just don't seem to be able to grasp that the rate of food production goes up 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 etc. while the rate of people production goes up 1 - 2 - 4 - 8 etc. Doesn't take very many generations for Mr. Malthus and his satchel full of dreadful correctives to show up.

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Coat

Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

You eat tea? Eeew.

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

Why is it always 'breeding' when poor people do it.

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

@Daniel Hall

Let's take a look at the US of A as an example of a developed country that can "afford" children.

1) Remind me how much per capita external debt the US of A has (USD 58,255*)?

2) Remind me how much per capita external debt Somalia has (USD 386*)?

What you seem to be suggesting is that citizens of "developing" countries with a much lower per capita external debt than "developed" countries (such as the US of A) don't have the right to have children whereas citizens of the US of A do have that right?

*source https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_external_debt

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Angel

Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

never heard of Good Breeding? Doncha Know Blue Bloods are all up with that

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

"if ya' can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em"

so the poorest x% of the world aren't allowed to fuck - right?

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

@skeptical i: Many cultures still hold a "many children = much status" belief.

I doubt it is much about status or the other explanations you mention, although there may be some truth in each of them. Most of all I think it is an alternative to insurance and welfare. Western societies have this notion of paying taxes / life insurance / national insurance / medical insurance /etc. with the understanding that one will get support when one is unemployed, ill, old, injured, incapacitated, etc. Societies that do not have such a system create large families instead: some children will die young, some will turn out no good, some may become criminals and get thrown into jail, but there will still a couple or more who will work the fields, get a job at a factory or abroad and send money back home, and in general will support their parents when they grow old or fall ill.

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

@ The Travelling Dangleberries

on that page you cite uk per cap ext debt is over double that of USA.

cant be right surely?

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Re: Perhaps, just perhaps...

>This technology is delivered to cultures where the rutting behavior of males to create more conceptions gives better survival odds for the culture.

Herein lies the problem.

No, not excessive population, I mean the worldview which implies that people, especially *other* people, are no more than animals and really don't deserve to be treated as anything more than cattle or dogs.

The world is not overpopulated and we have plenty of food to feed everyone. We just don't care enough to actually give it to them. We'd rather spend hundreds of pounds on a new phone or tens of pounds on a Friday night out, or a few hundred on a new big-screen TV, than help someone who may need it to buy some decent food.

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Brilliant

[o]

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Anonymous Coward

My headstone shall say

...and he never joined Facebook.

R.P.I *

* (Restricted PI)

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Re: My headstone shall say

Or Google+

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Re: My headstone shall say ... and he never joined Facebook

If you do that, it may after a few hundred years be the only physical reference to FB.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: My headstone shall say

No fucker joins Google+ willingly

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Re: My headstone shall say

My favourite is still "Here lies Edmund Blackadder, and he's bloody annoyed!"

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Phew!

Just for a moment there I thought Access to Facebook was a UN Millennium Development Goal!

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I'm not going to knock someone for saying they'll give their money away. That's great, and in a way is in a long tradition of american philanthropism.

However, I can't help the feeling that it would be preferable if international companies, including Facebook, paid their fair share of taxes, without devising hoops to jump through that ensure that they can funnel everything to the lowest tax jurisdiction legally available to them.

I would rather we had a world where the provision of health, education, infrastructure, and so on is down to the governments of a state, elected by their people, deciding on their priorities. Not where it is subject to the whim of a rich man, deciding which cause it suits him to fund this year.

I'm reminded of two things. The first is schemes like the Tesco Computers for Schools vouchers. Everyone realised that computers were a good thing to have in schools. They should have been paid for by the government. Instead, people were encouraged to prop up the profits of a private company, in some cases spending tens of thousands to collect the vouchers that allowed that company to demonstrate its generosity by giving a school a few hundred quids worth of computer.

The second is the quote attributed to Clement Atlee, "Charity is a cold grey loveless thing. If a rich man wants to help the poor, he should pay his taxes gladly, not dole out money at a whim."

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pay his taxes gladly

I have read roughly once about somebody finding taxes a glad occasion: an immigrant writer delighted to find that the US a) owed him some money back on his withholding, and b) sent a check. And I don't know about grey, but if you can find a charity or attribute of charity colder and more loveless than the IRS, you should write a book about it.

My taxes--smaller, I hope, than Mr. & Dr. Z's, in proportion as my earnings are smaller--do in fact go to fund education, infrastructure, health, and so on. I suppose that some of theirs go to the California schools, roads, etc., and more to the US. It does not sound as if his intervention in the schools of Newark did much of anything, but on the other hand, it's not as if Newark had much claim on his earnings anyway.

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I fail to see how anyone, other than public employees and self-serving politicians, benefit in any way from inserting the corruption and inefficiency of government into charity.

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I'm not going to knock someone ...

Really, instead of giving it away, it would immensely more useful economically to start spending it. Buy custom clothes, jewelry, yachts, mansions, heck even some electronics. That produces actual jobs and workers who can even spend some money themselves. The problem with the economy is the one percenters, not the jobless poor. The mass of money accumulated where is it does no "work" but accumulate more cash is the real cause of the demise of the middle class.

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Anonymous Coward

I can't help the feeling that it would be preferable if international companies, including Facebook, paid their fair share of taxes, without devising hoops to jump through that ensure that they can funnel everything to the lowest tax jurisdiction legally available to them.

Ah - but then F*ckerberg wouldn't get to feel so smug, and this free PR announcement wouldn't have happened.

I read another B*llshit article about how Gen-X and Millennials want to be philanthropic during their own lifetimes (rather than leaving a sum in a will) so that they can "be part of the fast-paced change.". What rubbish! It's so they can satisify their own narcissism and egos.

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Mushroom

Currently the US military budget is about equal the welfare budget.

If you want to do good, destroy everything the state stands for and BUILD YOUR FUCKING HOSPITAL YOURSELF. Then SHOOT the MOFOS who drop by to TAX YOU TO PAY THEMSELVES.

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