back to article Bringing discipline to development, without causing pain

There’s that question you’ve always wanted to ask in an interview when the dialogue has gone really well and you know you’re about to get offered the job, but you don’t want it anyway. Interviewer: “Great, so do you have any questions that you would like to ask me?” Candidate: “Well, if I’m traveling in a car at the speed of …

  1. Ken 16 Silver badge

    comp[aring Apples, Oranges, Durian

    Code management is a Software Development process, all the things mentioned in the last section are Operational Architecture. Putting in Security, Availability, Performance etc. has to happen regardless of whether it's Agile, Waterfall or Basic with lots of GOTO's.

  2. ST Silver badge
    Mushroom

    meaningless buzzword soup

    GitSwarm, millenials, DevOps, hot-desking, necessitate, system faith, luxuriating, pure GIt-based workflow, ...

    Seriously?

    1. Swarthy Silver badge

      Re: meaningless buzzword soup

      Okay, so it's not just me that found this article pretty much meaningless?

      From the headlight question on, I was trying to figure out the meaning, and failing; this commentary reads like someone shifting paradigms without a clutch.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: meaningless buzzword soup

        "Okay, so it's not just me that found this article pretty much meaningless?"

        No. I bailed out at "There’s no I in ‘team’". No but there is in intelligence, ingenuity, genius, innovation...

        What a bollocks-fest.

    2. Lysenko Silver badge

      Re: meaningless buzzword soup

      I don't know. Git Swarm and Git Based Workflow are concepts I can certainly identify with ... but then I know what a Git is.

      1. OzBob

        Re: meaningless buzzword soup

        So nice to see Verity Stob back. ...... What, you mean,..... Oh.

        1. Matt 21

          Re: meaningless buzzword soup

          To paraphrase somebody else, there's no "I" in team but there is a "me".

          1. 27escape

            Re: meaningless buzzword soup

            The is no 'F' in team either, in most cases where people raise the 'I' comment

            1. Swarthy Silver badge
              Trollface

              Re: meaningless buzzword soup

              "There is no 'I' in team"

              "True, but there's also no 'F' in way"

              ...When my supervisor figured it out, he was not happy with me.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re: We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

    Can we? Git is for people who don't trust the other people working on their code base. If you're part of a team and you actually work together subversion is better.

    1. AndrueC Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: re: We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

      We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

      Obligatory XKCD reference.

      1. Swarthy Silver badge

        Re: re: We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

        We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

        ObligatoryBetter XKCD reference

        1. NotBob
          Joke

          Re: re: We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

          Given the "No I in 'team'," it also seems obligatory to point out http://xkcd.com/1562/

  4. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    WTF?

    I'm so old I think a 6 year old child could understand this article

    So get me a six yo child.

    'Cause I'm b**gered if I can understand a word of it.

    And believe me I've read a lot of IT BS marketing

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Headmaster

    Answer to the question is "Yes: the speed of light is constant for all observers regardless of their motion."

    Can't promise that time would stay the same though, relatively speaking :(

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    All we need now is amanfrommars to post a comment on this story and the circle of meaningless shite will be complete.

  7. fruitoftheloon
    FAIL

    And now a word from our sponsors

    Jay's precis:

    Some sh1t doesn't always work.

    So please check ours out

    Were the editing team in the pub when this drivel went through the CMS??

  8. Andy 73

    So...

    Article sponsored by Perforce says free software repackaged by Perforce is good?

    Colour me surprised.

    My experience of large, complex and geographically distributed enterprise development is that repository management is far less an issue than the integration of CI and testing environments. (Unless no-one wants to actually trust devs with a tool that tracks and can revert every change they make.) Discipline around who can see what is less important than the ability of teams at many different stages of the development cycle to independently commit, test and release changes.

    Expensive management tooling on top of otherwise free tools does not solve these issues.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What would really happen

    Candidate: “Well, if I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on, does anything happen?”

    Interviewer: "Yes. Some twat like you puts a photo on Instagram and then tweets some stupid shit. Now take your thumb out of your mouth, piss off back to Costas and make me a coffee, you small-balled embryo."

    Interview concluded. Real developer hired later that day.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have been asked to explain the special theory of relativity and "The Usual Suspects"

    The plot of the "The Usual Suspects" was tougher.

  11. Long John Brass Silver badge

    I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on, does anything happen?”

    If you have mass you can't travel at the speed of light

    1. CaptainHook

      I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on, does anything happen?”

      If you have mass you can't travel at the speed of light

      *****

      A photon has mass, and is by definition, traveling at the speed of light.

      1. Swarthy Silver badge
        WTF?

        Re: I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on...?"

        A photon has no mass, they have mass equivalence. IE: They have so much energy that it can be detected as mass.

        Or is it that they are Protestant (no Mass) but they do partake of Sacraments (Mass equivalence)?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on...?"

          Well I'd hire all 3 of you (assuming you're not a wave).

  12. Yag
    Facepalm

    Mono-repo?

    As I'm quite light headed after this article, can someone tell me if I'm right...

    Is this "mono-repo" concept simply the same as how CVS/SVN/ClearCase/... works, but with the clunky interface and slowness of GIT?

    1. Bob Dole (tm)

      Re: Mono-repo?

      The tldr; is that git does not work in enterprise development, but they recognize that it is quite popular, so they are using "git" names and lots of obfuscation in order to confuse devs into thinking it's really git and not one of those other tools under the covers.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Mono-repo?

        @Bob Dole: When you write "that git" are you referring to the author of this article?

  13. koolholio

    Wishful thinking has no place in computer science

    As regards to the interviewing question, I despise developers that ask such a question/have that mindset, since if they were proper developers they'd have already researched the physics (including quantum physics) behind it, before asking the question since, critically, computing is a science.

    The same applies to "how many sides on a amplituhedron"

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