back to article Boffins solve bacon crisis with newly-patented plant

Months before the World Health Organisation (WHO) declared bacon a carcinogen, American boffins may have found a solution: algae that tastes just like bacon, but without the bad bits the Doctors at WHO say could cause your untimely demise. The eukaryote in question is called Dulse (Palmaria sp.) and, as explained Oregon State …

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  1. Tony S

    I would be happy to volunteer as a taster!

  2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    Dulse?

    Nothing terribly new about it, it's seaweed and has been sold (together with Yellow Man, a type of very dense honeycomb) at the Auld Lammas Fair in Ballycastle, Co. Antrim, for centuries. See Lammas Fair. I've never heard it being described as tasting like bacon, though. Frankly it tastes like seaweed :)

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Re: Dulse?

      "a new strain of the plant" and from the linked article "OSU-patented variety."

  3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Can you smoke it?

    Like proper bacon is?

    I didn't inhale honest!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Holmes

      POЯCINE ЯEVEЯSAL

      Proper bacon smokes you.

  4. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    What a convenient coincidence

    Astounding that somebody just happened to fry seaweed and declare that it tastes like bacon. I'm sure that, with a bit of artificial flavoring, it just might.

    I'm also pretty sure that it will never be as crunchy out of the pan. But hey, after months and months in space, it'll probably do.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: What a convenient coincidence

      "I'm sure that, with a bit of artificial flavoring"

      Nope. Not needed. Seaweed has the elusive "umami".

      "'I'm also pretty sure that it will never be as crunchy out of the pan."

      Yep. It is. For values of "pan" that include "deep fat fryer". Knowing how to prep it helps.

      Think outside the box. There is free food out there, if you look for it.

      1. John 62

        Re: What a convenient coincidence

        > Seaweed has the elusive "umami".

        Indeed, wasn't MSG first made from seaweed?

  5. MrDamage
    Pint

    Is it just me...

    Or does everyone now have a craving for a bacon and "dulse salad" butty?

    Maybe something the El Reg post-pub fryup staff should look into having a crack at.

  6. Adam 1 Silver badge

    Sounds like a perfect side dish for my bacon and eggs.

    1. dc_m

      I like your thinking, like quorn, not bad if you add meat!

  7. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Veggie trick to start world domination. It's probably like that devil's food quorn. Tried their sausages. Didn't feel at all bad - throwing the cooked and rest of the uncooked ones in the bin.

    1. The entire Radio 1 playlist commitee

      Quorn is not food, devils or otherwise. It is fungus-derived glop. Don't let them try to fool you into thinking otherwise.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        > It is fungus-derived glop

        Upvote for using glop (although different from my usage of it - leftover roast chicken+pearl barley+potato+mushroom stew. T'wife insists on calling it "roast chicken peral barley risotto").

        Finest food in the universe, guarenteed to cure all ills.

  8. Tromos

    You can't tell it's not...

    Bet I can.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      Re: You can't tell it's not...

      Looks (a bit) like bacon, "tastes like bacon" (honest), strangely no mention of the texture - which presumably resembles a laminated cardboard/styrofoam composite

      1. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
        Childcatcher

        Re: You can't tell it's not...

        It does look a bit like bacon when I squint at it... which might make it work in a post-pub setting, but would certainly add to the list of regrets upon sobering up.

      2. TitterYeNot

        Re: You can't tell it's not...

        "strangely no mention of the texture - which presumably resembles a laminated cardboard/styrofoam composite"

        Ah, so just like abominable water saturated supermarket bacon when you try to get it nice and crispy then...

      3. Vic
        Facepalm

        Re: You can't tell it's not...

        Looks (a bit) like bacon, "tastes like bacon" (honest), strangely no mention of the texture - which presumably resembles a laminated cardboard/styrofoam composite

        It's what they use to make Frazzles out of, isn't it?

        Vic.

  9. frank ly Silver badge

    Bacon flavoured crisps

    Does anybody know what the flavouring is? Is it related; etc.?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    But is it kosher?

    letters

    Is that good enough.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: But is it kosher?

      Certainly not by my definition.

  11. Maldax
    Pirate

    It's people!!

    Does no body learn from history!!!

    Soylent green is made out of people!!!!

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      Re: It's people!!

      Soylent pink

      With apology to the original commentary who thought that one up!

      1. Lord Raa

        Re: It's people!!

        "I used to enjoy soylent beige myself. Until I discovered, to my horror, that it was made from soya beans."

        -Professor Nebulous

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It's people!!

      Also known a "Long Pig" .

      Reliable sources say the taste is very similar; both are large omnivores.

  12. jake Silver badge

    I've been drying seaweed in my smokehouse for decades.

    Tastes like bacon. We use it as a condiment.

    I also sun-dry seaweed, which we use for various reasons.

    It's an umami thing.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: I've been drying seaweed in my smokehouse for decades.

      I am surprised they managed to patent it. This has been around for ages.

      Oh, they did it in the USA. I am no longer surprised.

    2. Martin Budden

      Re: I've been drying seaweed in my smokehouse for decades.

      Something else to add to the list of jake's many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many accomplishments.

      1. jake Silver badge

        @Martin Budden (was: Re: I've been drying seaweed in my smokehouse for decades.)

        It's not an "accomplishment". It's a learned survival skill.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @Martin Budden (was: I've been drying seaweed in my smokehouse for decades.)

          "It's a learned survival skill."

          Hardly a survival skill

          1. jake Silver badge

            @AC: (was:Re: @Martin Budden (was: I've been drying seaweed in my smokehouse for decades.)

            "Hardly a survival skill"

            Finding food locally, in a pinch, isn't a survival skill? You are deluded.

    3. PNGuinn Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: I've been drying seaweed in my smokehouse for decades.

      "which we use for various reasons"

      Yes? Yes?

      Inquiring Commentards Need to Know what and why.

      1. jake Silver badge

        @PNGuinn (was:Re: I've been drying seaweed in my smokehouse for decades.)

        "Yes? Yes?"

        Yes!

        "Inquiring Commentards Need to Know what and why."

        Where would I start ... Soups, salads, eggs, sausages, salsas, pasta, breads ... pretty much anywhere you would use fungi, really. Obviously, you need to know your local seaweed.

        As for "why" ... because it's really fucking tasty, that's why!

  13. Tom 7 Silver badge

    I dont remember Oregon bacon being that shit.

    Well fried dulse isn't actually shit but if it tastes like bacon then you should seek help.

    Or sue your butcher.

  14. Warm Braw Silver badge

    About that frying...

    Any chance if produces acrylamide? Seaweeds typically contain non-starch polysaccharides - anyone know sufficient chemistry to advise whether this may be a false dawn for the safe sarnie?

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: About that frying...

      Might depend on the type of fat used for frying? No idea, really. Wouldn't be surprised though if in, say, 15 years someone finds that this particular type of seaweed can cause cancer in laboratory animals, too. Cue Joe Jackson.

      1. Felonmarmer

        Re: About that frying...

        Fried in bacon fat maybe?

  15. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. The entire Radio 1 playlist commitee
      Thumb Up

      You get all the iodine you ever need from iodised table salt - they iodize it for a reason. Sea salt is richer.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. jake Silver badge

        @The entire Radio 1 playlist commitee

        "iodised table salt"

        Narsty, narsty, narsty stuff. Tastes metallic & ruins everything it's inflicted on.

        Side note: Do you REALLY want to take the blame for the Radio 1 playlist?

        God Save The Queen! (Never Mind the Bollocks).

  16. Mark 85 Silver badge

    Ah... another fake bacon*.... just what the world needs. You guys go ahead and I'll just sit back have the real thing. including your share since you'll be eating the fake stuff.

    *There's been fake bacon for years in the form of those jars salad crumbles. The label mentions "bacon bits" (or words to that effect) but there's no bacon in them.

    1. Trumpet Winsock IIIrd

      Yes, a strange world we live in where until fairly recently Walkers Cheese and Onion flavour crisps weren't " Suitable for Vegetarians ", yet their Smoky Bacon and Roast Chicken flavour were.

      ( The Cheese was made using animal rennet )

    2. g e

      Facon

      There, sorted.

  17. Andy The Hat Silver badge

    Bacon with care ...

    Take seaweed, as it's the US, fry in pork dripping and liquid smoke and, after only four hours of char grilling in the BBQ with the 16 hog carcasses it tastes like bacon ... not at all like wet lettucy, irony, snail poo.

    Perhaps it's the Pringles crisp thing - tell them what it is supposed to taste like then people will agree just to not look silly?

  18. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    Facon

    That's all

  19. SuperNintendoChalmers
    Happy

    A bacon replacement is already out there

    Tempeh Rashers are the best replacement out there. You can fry it to nice and crispy, has a similar texture, and generally just tastes amazing. You can either make your own using a marinade for flavour or buy ready made from brands like VBites.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good substitute for Real Bacon(tm)...

    ..until other earnest boffins discover that when consumed in excess (above a sarnie per month) causes nausea, hiccups, hallucinations, liver failure, eyeball worms, kidney implosions, irreversible impotence, brain rot, and a sudden, irresistible desire to watch Jersey Shore which may be related with the brain rot, so forget we mentioned it.

    This and/or it costs four times the price of the porcine variant.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As someone who doesn't eat meat anymore, but isn't an evangelist about it, all I can say is don't bother. All these so called substitutes for meat, like Quorn and other faux whatever products are crap. "It tastes just like....." No it doesn't.

    If you like bacon then eat bacon.

    if you don't want to eat it for whatever reason then just do without and don't pretend.

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