back to article Wheels come off parents' plan to dub sprog 'Mini Cooper'

A French couple's plan to dub their daughter "Mini Cooper" looks to be heading for the breaker's yard after officials referred the matter to court. According to L'Indépendant, the town hall in Perpignan alerted the public prosecutor's office to the name, which in turn asked judges to rule against the moniker. French law allows …

Anonymous Coward

Given the amount of unwanted foul muck that comes out of the back end of a baby, surely Volkswagen would've been a more appropriate choice.

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Anonymous Coward

Another similarity to VW

Coincidentally, the one time they *don't* seem to produce all those noxious emissions is when they're in test mode... er, I mean potty training.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Another similarity to VW

FYI the VW Diesels actually pass dynamometer emissions tests. They only emit excess pollutants when the software reduces operation of the emissions controls to a point slightly below requirements. It's a simple software fix for a minute issue. The test detection software was a stupid inclusion and illegal, all for a tiny improvement in mpg and performance.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Another similarity to VW

"FYI the VW Diesels actually pass dynamometer emissions tests..."

Ok. Read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

Let us know how you get on with it.

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Re: Another similarity to VW

They only emit excess pollutants when the software reduces operation of the emissions controls to a point slightly below requirements.

"As a result, emissions of NOx increased by a factor of 10 to 40 times above the EPA compliant levels, depending on the type of drive cycle (e.g., city, highway)."

http://www3.epa.gov/otaq/cert/documents/vw-nov-caa-09-18-15.pdf

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Not such an odd name.

One of my old pest control customers was a Ms Minnie Cooper..

Lovely old lady as well...

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Anonymous Coward

@cornz 1

Listen to some of these names https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7OxTxAvvLw and be glad it's not you.

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Happy

What about...

... Bobby Tables?

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Paris Hilton

Re: What about...

I'm amazed nobody's yet mentioned Paris Hilton.

Do the Hiltons have a child called Shepherds Bush, who likes to be known as Kensington?

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Re: What about...

I'm amazed nobody's yet mentioned Paris Hilton.

True, after all Paris is a boy's name.

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Re: What about...

Lewisham'ilton

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Paris Hilton

Re: What about...

:s/Shepherds/Paris/g

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So, I guess Ford Prefect would be out as well, then?

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What about

Austin Healey

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Re: What about

Shanda Lear (daughter of the founder of Lear Jet)

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Re: What about

Ford Prefect?

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Happy

Re: What about

Anne Diamond

What were her parents thinking of? Everyone knows it's A Diamond.

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x 7
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Re: What about

Austin Healey once stated on the TV that if he'd had a sister his father intended to name her "Jensen"

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Re: What about

"Anne Diamond

What were her parents thinking of? Everyone knows it's A Diamond."

I used to know a girl called Elizabeth Ore. E.Ore. Not funny at school.

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Good thing then that Minnie Driver was born in the UK.

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Anonymous Coward

Well, there's nothing like giving your kids the best start in life ...

... and, believe me, that really is nothing like giving your kids the best start in life

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Joke

In the case of the Prince William name, I reckon it was more the association with royalty than any worries on mockery. That's something that'd cost you your head (traditionally) in Le France...

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Must...resist...temptation...to correct...gender...

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Great, now I have an image of a transgendered Prince William in my head.

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Anonymous Coward

@DavCrav: What is Blank-Reg's gender and what should it be corrected to?

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Anonymous Coward

"What is Blank-Reg's gender and what should it be corrected to?"

Assuming that's a request for edification?

The French language denotes all things as being either masculine or feminine. There is no "neuter" gender. There are different spellings for effectively the same word depending on that gender. A bit like the English use of "actor" and "actress". Except that's as far as English spelling differences go - and modern English is gradually eliminating even those differences.

In French the adjectives, articles, and verbs have different spellings too - to agree with the gender of word they describe. A small boy singer is a "petit chanteur" - a small girl singer is a "petite chanteuse"

Everything has a defined gender - even if there are not two sexes. eg a "table" is female. A small shop is female (boutique) but a large store is male (magasin).

The name of the country is assigned to be feminine and its definite article is therefore the feminine form "La" to make "La France". The male form for "the" is "Le".

The use of the definite article with a country's name is not so rigorously used in English. We say "The USA", "The Czech Republic" - but we've stopped using "The Ukraine" as it was seen as a slight on Ukraine's new sovereignty after the collapse of the USSR.

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Anonymous Coward

Ok. Read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

Let us know how you get on with it.

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Anonymous Coward

"Let us know how you get on with it."

If a joke has to be explained then it loses its potential to be funny.

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Is a transgender Prince William better or worse than a transgender Prince Albert?

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"The latter name would, according to the court, "inevitably attract mockery", such as its use in the phrase "ramène ta fraise" or "move your arse"."

Interesting justification, that it appears in a rude slang phrase, so shouldn't be a name. How would they feel about, in no particular order, "Dick", "Fanny", "Thomas", "Roger", "Jack", and so on?

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Anonymous Coward

I went to school with a Richard Shakeshaft. Some parents are bastards, really.

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Agreed. I once met a Miles Long.

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Major Dickie Head MC seems to have done OK in the army with an interesting name....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8014318.stm

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Anonymous Coward

If names are rejected because they "might attract mockery"

What about people labelled "French"?

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Re: If names are rejected because they "might attract mockery"

Like Sir John?

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Anonymous Coward

A place where I used to work had a senior manager named John Thomas.

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I went to school with a John Thomas. Sadly at the time I didn't realise how funny that was. I'm sure someone has pointed it out to him by now.

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Anonymous Coward

there's always a Catch-22

Just ask Major Major Major.

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Coat

Re: If names are rejected because they "might attract mockery"

I met a bloke called Lee Flett at a party once. Claimed his sister was called Pam.

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Anonymous Coward

Miles Long

...that's nothing. I went to school with Mike Hunt, Wayne Carr, Hugh Janus, Peter Phile and my father, a barber, recently went bankrupt trying to sell the Saville range of teenage grooming products.

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Re: there's always a Catch-22

"Just ask Major Major Major."

I once went out with a girl whose surname was Major and one of my wifes uncles had the given name of Major. It's surprisingly common (well, not really common, but not as rare as you might expect)

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Re: If names are rejected because they "might attract mockery"

I met a bloke called Lee Flett at a party once. Claimed his sister was called Pam.

I was at school with that bloke. For real. Even though his surname is actually spelled "Flatt" his parents' joke still works.

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Hows the saying go?

Any kid that can get through life with a name like that must have something their parents lacked.

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@ Jagged Re: Hows the saying go?

"Any kid that can get through life with a name like that must have something their parents lacked."

"A Boy Named Sue".

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Anonymous Coward

Re: @ Jagged Hows the saying go?

"A Boy Named Sue"

...or even a tough guy film star called Marion.

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L'Indépendant notes that the powers that be in Valenciennes, northern France, have previously rejected "Nutella" and "Fraise" (Strawberry). The latter name would, according to the court, "inevitably attract mockery", such as its use in the phrase "ramène ta fraise" or "move your arse".

My real name is George...you any idea how many variations there are of a certain nursery rhyme with my name in it? Well I bet I probably heard most of them while I was sat school. The stupidity of all this is that kids will find a way to rip the piss out of any name, no matter how sensible it is. I had a mate with a surname Bogard, he had a number 2 cut all the time I knew him at school, Bogard somehow transformed into "Bogbrush" as in what his hair looked like as it grew out each time.

The one thing human memory needs is cues, so we look for traits in someone's appearance or habits in order to link their abstract name with their image. The only difference is that kids don't internalise it, they voice it openly in order, as a group, to ensure they remember it and maintain the pecking order kids often set up amongst themselves.

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Anonymous Coward

"The stupidity of all this is that kids will find a way to rip the piss out of any name, no matter how sensible it is."

Friends named their son before they saw the obvious contractions of forename and family name that could result. Everyone in their peer generation agreed it was inevitable. Surprisingly it never happened.

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..and yet someone was allowed to call their kid "Hashtag"?

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4671412/We-called-our-baby-hashtag.html

I'm off to weep for society now - if you need me I'll be in the comms room.

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Anonymous Coward

"I'm off to weep for society now [...]"

A name is a distinguishing label - possibly denoting a sympathetic magic hope for a particular quality - or describing an obvious feature of the person. Over time the meaning becomes lost and it becomes a largely arbitrary word used as a recognised name.

I am an atheist labelled as "Christ carrier".

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Anonymous Coward

> La Mini Cooper.

<pedant>

That's not a Mini Cooper, it's a bog standard Mini (probably a Mark 5).

</pedant>

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