back to article 'Traditional' forms of thuggery decline in UK, cybercrime on the rise

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) has released information suggesting cybercrime incidents are growing more prevalent in British society than traditional criminal incidents, and has noted that this may be due to more criminal enterprises transitioning to the digital world. Included for the first time among the ONS's …

  1. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Could be because all the old geezers are banged up, release them and I'm sure 'traditional' bank jobs will rise again.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Hands up, put all the electrons in the bag, be quick and no funny business.

      1. g e

        Banks jobs are alive and well

        Though quite why anyone would physically try to rob a bank these days is a mystery.

        However, that didn't stop some enterprising numpty from trying it locally recently. He got nicked when he tried it a second time on the same chain of banks in a different local area.

        Still it's potentially easier to defend against cybercrime than three big guys with baseball bats, for El Reggers, at least, maybe.

      2. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Hands up, put all the electrons in the bag, be quick and no funny business.

        Hands up, put probably most of all the electrons in the bag, be quick and no funny business.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Rich,

          he said no funny business, all the electrons and you can put the cat in there too :)

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "Hands up, put probably most of all the electrons in the bag, be quick and no funny business."

          There's the potential there for a severe rise in tension and a rapid discharge.

          1. Steven Roper

            "There's the potential there for a severe rise in tension and a rapid discharge."

            Oh, it's a lot worse than that. According to the latest XKCD WhatIf, our bank robber here is well on his way to destroying the entire universe!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Holmes

    Not unique to the UK

    in the more traditional forms of crime, from 19 million incidents a year in 1995 to under 7 million a year today.

    Some statisticians have tied this decline to the use of lead in petrol as both coincide in various countries around the world.

    Or maybe DVD players are too cheap to bother nicking now.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: Not unique to the UK

      More savvie burglars.

      They realise that by the time they've rounded the corner with "their" swag (TV, car, PC, etc) it's more than halved in value, therefore not worth the effort.

      Guess they've opted for more lucrative careers as estate agents, window salesman, marketing execs, laywers, bankers, city traders or some other line of work requiring moral flexability.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not unique to the UK

        Just in case anyone is wondering about the lead/crime connection there are plenty of articles that look at the issue.

    2. Sooty

      Re: Not unique to the UK

      "Or maybe DVD players are too cheap to bother nicking now."

      There is probably quite a lot of this in play, ordinary people aren't going to buy a dodgy dvd player from a bloke in the pub, if they can get one for £20 from their local supermarket.

      Even large tvs aren't unreasonably expensive anymore, and it's not exactly easy to inconspicuously cart a stolen 50 inch tv down the street. A 20" tv in the 90s probably weighed more, and cost more, but it was a lot more compact.

      Nick a laptop and it could be emailing photos of you back to the owner along with it's location, smartphones can do the same. The thugs have to get more tech savvy for it to be worth it.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Less police = less crime

    This could be a huge revolution in public spending!

    Less police means less reported crime and less doctors means statistically less sick people.

    Is utopia a state without public spending?

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Less police = less crime

      Is utopia a state without public spending?

      Since that would also imply no politicians, there is some appeal.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Holmes

        Re: Less police = less crime

        One mans utopia is another mans dystopia

  4. Shades

    2,057 described as "computer virus"

    I'd take that with a massive pinch of salt too. The amount of people I've encountered who are absolutely convinced their computer "must have a virus" when their computer takes an eternity to boot and then promptly grinds to halt, taking forever to perform even the most basic function, is not even funny.

    First thing I do is not run a virus scan, its clicking on the little system tray arrow icon and watch it expand (on older versions of Windows) to fill over half the task bar full of stupid "helpers", "quick starters", and entirely pointless "shortcuts" most of which the owner has no clue what they are/do and has never used. This is then shortly followed by a sigh as I realise I'll have to spend the next few hours trying to figure out what they actually use, what is absolutely necessary (usually NOTHING) and which can be disabled/eradicted.

    Yes, there's usually some bloatware there, still chugging away from when the PC was new, but most is from applications the user has actively installed, used a couple of times, didn't like or couldn't get their heads around and never bothered to uninstall.. rinse and repeat until the computer is virtually unusable.

    1. DavCrav Silver badge

      Re: 2,057 described as "computer virus"

      "I'd take that with a massive pinch of salt too. The amount of people I've encountered who are absolutely convinced their computer "must have a virus" when their computer takes an eternity to boot and then promptly grinds to halt, taking forever to perform even the most basic function, is not even funny."

      I also wouldn't think to report a virus infection to the rozzers.

    2. auburnman

      Re: 2,057 described as "computer virus"

      I'm inclined to believe that before I'll buy the 5000+ fraud figures, which appear to indicate that of the 2000+ respondents, on average they've all been defrauded at least twice?

    3. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

      Re: 2,057 described as "computer virus"

      If you go by the technical definition of a computer virus (~"program that copies itself") then the respondents are probably mostly wrong, but if you loosen the definition to the layman's "computer virus" = "program that makes my computer do bad things" = "malicious software", then they are right. All those stupid "helpers", "quick starters", and entirely pointless "shortcuts" can be classified as malicious... e.g. a "quick starter" that doesn't is a trojan, a toolbar that was installed without explicit permission has committed "unauthorized access to a computer".

      The survey is revealing a huge area where people feel they have been wronged, but the law has great difficulty in addressing the issue.

  5. Yugguy

    Smash'n'grab

    Round here in the last year there's been an O2 shop ramraided and then cleaned out. There's been armed robbery at one our bank branches, there's been the good old nick the ATM with the JCB a couple of times.

    1. auburnman

      Re: Smash'n'grab

      And let's not forget the GTA-style Jewellery heist from London a few months back...

  6. The Original Steve

    404 were reports of unauthorised access

    Shame it wasn't 401...

    1. king of foo

      Re: 404 were reports of unauthorised access

      It started out that way, but 3 people followed the instructions...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Blighty is the place to be

    If you are a cyber crim Blighty is the place to reside. Rob a bank and get a slap on the wrist. Hack corporate and military servers, get a slap on the wrist. Send out massive malware or pirate, get a slap on the wrist. There is a very high price for society to pay when the judicial system fails to properly punish crims. Blighty is soon to learn this reality.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Re: Blighty is the place to be

      hang em' all - The Daily Mail is allways right

  8. RogerT

    Except in Manchester where traditional thuggery still rules.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      and what else do you expect?

  9. T. F. M. Reader Silver badge

    The REAL reason for decline in traditional crime

    "from 19 million incidents a year in 1995 to under 7 million a year today"

    So ONS sorta-kinda attributes this to traditional crims going digital, eh? I think it's a safe bet that at least some politicians - and media - will claim this to be a wild success of ubiquitous CCTV and will demand even more surveillance to protect the public even better.

    1. Ian Emery Silver badge

      Re: The REAL reason for decline in traditional crime

      This wouldnt have anything to do with them only recording robberies at odd numbered houses would it??

      Reported crime levels keep going down because people know the rozzers wont do anything, so dont bother reporting it. I have reported an ARSON attack, and no one bothered to attend.

      I tried to report an incident yesterday and spent 5 minutes listening to an "all our operators are busy" message before hanging up, this is AFTER waiting for 5 minutes to get through to someone who then "transfer you to the right department" ed me.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Unhappy

        Re: The REAL reason for decline in traditional crime

        plenty of that going around

  10. Hey Nonny Nonny Mouse

    Ye Olde street Thugs

    In years to come will middle class suburbanites will form re-enactment clubs where they stalk the city streets in 'authentic' reproduction street wear, mugging each other in an effort to have history 'come to life'?

    1. DavCrav Silver badge

      Re: Ye Olde street Thugs

      "In years to come will middle class suburbanites will form re-enactment clubs where they stalk the city streets in 'authentic' reproduction street wear, mugging each other in an effort to have history 'come to life'?"

      Like Hallowe'en on steroids?

      1. Nameless Dread
        Stop

        Re: Ye Olde street Thugs

        "Like Hallowe'en on steroids?"

        No, thanks, I don't.

    2. EnviableOne Bronze badge
      Joke

      Re: Ye Olde street Thugs

      We talking clockwork orange style or the Purge?

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