back to article Ex-HP boss and US prez wannabe Carly sings about her dog on TV

Former HP boss and Republican presidential candidate Carly Fiorina has tried a new tactic to reach out to the American public – singing about her pet dog on the telly. In an interview with Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show, Fiorina grabbed the mic and treated the audience to a song about her dog to the tune of Rock around the …

  1. Milo Tsukroff
    Mushroom

    HP lost its opportunity when Fiorina was in charge

    The iPaq was everything the iPhone was ... but ... years earlier. Except that Windows CE sucked, was never fixed, iPaqs had to be hard-rebooted at least twice a week, and were slow to answer incoming phone calls. Complaints about them were met with the Service Dept asking, Was the device in warranty? What the dickens did that have to do with anything when the report was a bug in the OS?? And the icing on the cake was, it was Fiorina in charge of it all! When the iPhone swept in and did it right, the iPaq became a bad taste in the mouth. As my brother told me, "I'll never buy HP again". (I like their printers, though.)

    1. Tom 13

      Re: (I like their printers, though.)

      I use to, but she pretty much ruined those too at least from a business perspective. For a business you want consistency. A couple years after the Compaq merger I was yelling at my boss for buying so God Damn many different printer types and blowing up any chance we had at properly maintaining toner inventory. He answered he tried to buy the same model, but they changed every 6 months. He said if I could find models that the toners matched what we were already buying, he'd get those. But he was right, they changed their models too quickly.

  2. Mark 85 Silver badge

    We're doomed....

    She's moving up in the polls which makes this a more likely scenario... Just freaking doomed.....

    (I'm on the States and this is beyond belief. Reminds of Bill Clinton playing the sax on late night TV).

    1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

      Re: Bill Clinton playing the sax

      Only if it works. If it backfires, its more like Michael Dukakis trying to look Manly by driving a tank and winding up looking like Snoopy.

    2. Down not across Silver badge

      Re: We're doomed....

      Guess it wasn't enough to wreck a company. She wants to move up in the world and wreck a country next.

      1. Crazy Operations Guy

        Re: We're doomed....

        Yeah, she'll probably merge the US with Canada and end up with the GDP of Sudan...

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

        2. Bring_Back_MPE

          Re: We're doomed....

          I don't understand your math :

          Canada GDP per Capita 51,958.38 USD (2013)

          USA GDP per Capita 53,041.98 USD (2013)

          Sudan GDP per Capita 1,753.38 USD (2013)

          (Canada + USA)/2 = Sudan ???

          1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

            Re: We're doomed....

            Its Accounting Math.

            Accounting Math is Witchcraft.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: wreck a country

        She'd be better than Dubya, he broke the planet

        1. ben_myers

          Re: wreck a country

          Don't be so sure. Carly is a know-it-all narcissist who did not take no for an answer in her years at HP. She could easily do worse than W, even without Cheney behind the arras.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looking forward to

    Boy Dave's porcine rendition of Mona:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_jrh3bTm6I

    "Mona" by James Taylor

    Life's good, friends are hard to find and now one of mine is dead.

    And things I should have said to her, I shall say to you instead.

    Mona, Mona, so much of you to love, too much of you to take care of, Mona, Mona.

    You got too big to keep and too damn old to eat.

    When you where just a football at your mama's side,

    I reckon everyone figured you for a barbecue when you died.

    And here I'm thinking about you lying underground pushing up a pine tree in my field.

    Oh, Mona, Mona, you can close your eyes. I've got a twelve-gauge surprise waiting for you.

    http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jamestaylor/mona.html

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Recent online comments about Carly's campaign

    "If Carly Fiorina really wanted to kill 'Planned Parenthood' she'd become it's CEO"

    or perhaps

    Carly Fiorina has said she thinks that track records are important.

    Well Carly was voted 19th worst CEO of all time but Portfolio magazine (Geez how bad were the others?)

    Associated Press labeled her tenure at HP as "The Reign of Terror"

    She was voted as "Most brand damaging CEO"

    And she still thinks track records are important.

    Oh no I've finally found something I agree with her about.

  5. JustNiz

    So she already clearly proved she can't run a company, and hasn't even got enough intelligence to be able to make up lyrics that rhyme.

    How F***ing stupid must those Americans be that still believe she could successfully run a large country?

    1. ben_myers

      American, but not for Carly. Or The Donald. etc.

      I'm an American, but not for Carly. Or The Donald. Or for any of the other clowns that populated the dias at the last debate. It's frightening to think of any one of them as Pres.

    2. Tom 13

      @JustNiz

      The ones who will vote for her only care about her sex organs. They still think $Hrillary is going to win on the Demoncrat side so Carly is their only chance. Sadly, this thinking is even more prevalent on the Demoncrat side.

  6. Sporkinum

    How much do you want to guess that at least a few of her passwords are snick or snickers.

    1. ST Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Carly Fiorina's password

      > How much do you want to guess that at least a few of her passwords are snick or snickers.

      I'm betting on "Carly2016". It has digits, so it's very hard to guess.

      1. Wensleydale Cheese Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Carly Fiorina's password

        'I'm betting on "Carly2016". It has digits, so it's very hard to guess.'

        add some punctuation and it'll be impossible to crack.

        "Carly2016!"

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pity help the world

    If she ever becomes the president

  8. Yugguy

    Schmaltz

    It's an American invention.

  9. Peter Simpson 1
    Happy

    Sings about her dog...

    Hey, it worked for Nixon...

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