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We're on a roll with the caption competition and this week’s picture of a snake reading The Reg showed some great wit. Readers entered the vivarium for a chance to win a Western Digital Black, 6TB hard disk. Regular competition entrant i steal your leccy offered This is not the python tutorial i wanted!, while Ol'Peculier:The …

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  1. BenBell

    Intel gets in on the storage game, combines techies two favourites hobbies

  2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "Normally we say please try to keep it SFW, but given the content.." Further comment superfluous.

  3. Ben Bonsall

    As with all Haute Couture, you'd feel a right tit wearing it in public...

  4. Andy Non

    It conceals the nipple guns perfectly.

  5. Andy Non

    To make a payment at the supermarket I just have to bend over the card reader.

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
      Joke

      Reminds me of the NTNOCN sketch

      "American Express?

      That'll do nicely, sir, and would you like to rub my tits too?

      Put your head in between them and go 'blubble blubble blubble' with American Express."

  6. Ben Bonsall

    Now, as to programming the thing, lets get down to bras stacks.

  7. msknight Silver badge

    "It's fitted with a face recognition sensor and bluetooth technology. If it detects someone looking straight at it, then it sends a request to the wearers smart watch to slap them in the face."

  8. Andy Non

    I love getting my hands on new technology.

  9. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

    On the lines of the whistle activated key fob, new "Did I remember to wear a bra?" tech may need refinement.

  10. Andy Non

    If you are pulled over by a traffic cop, it auto-inflates.

    (Terminator 3 reference)

  11. Andy Non

    Perfect if you are breast feeding a little Android.

  12. sjaddy

    For our second version we are linking it with MyVibe!

  13. Andy Non

    If I get an email it alerts me by making my nipples tingle.

  14. Andy Non

    Great for jogging in with the bounce cancelling technology.

    1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      @Andy Non

      I think that should be "debounce" technology!

  15. Andy Non

    I've isolated the problem; it keeps downloading Windows 10.

  16. BlartVersenwaldIII

    Of corsets underwired.

  17. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    Never mind the quality, feel the width!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Meet the Katie Price special edition bra, just right for those silicone bits.

  19. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    Miss Brahms on the telephone: "Ladies' intimate apparel...I said, Ladies' intimate apparel...oh, all right then, the knickers and knocker counter!"

    (Are You Being Served, The Apartment)

  20. Andy Non

    You press the left nipple to select the required feature then the right nipple to run it. Double press both nipples to remove the bra.

  21. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    It's part of our tele-dildoncis range

  22. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    Although she admired the technology, Madonna did not think the styling was sufficiently outrageous for her stage show.

  23. Andy Non

    The wearer's range should be somewhat improved when we make a version that doesn't run on mains electricity.

  24. Locky Silver badge

    My eyes are up here techies

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  25. Adam 1 Silver badge

    You would have to be a bit of a tit to like the latest IoT invention.

  26. StuartF

    Rather than use the familiar tick-tock cycle. Intel introduces the ding-dong cycle for it's digital bra

  27. Ed3

    "...and here are the onboard fire sensors. When fire is detected the unit automatically sends a friendly Email to the wearer's emergency contacts, calls 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3, and plays an audible alarm declaring 'FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!'."

  28. Andy Non

    And with the matching panties, we'll have somewhere to store the battery.

  29. Julian 8

    Silica to inflate the boobs, now silica to protect the boobs.

    BRAM - Boob RAM

    coming soon to a car near you. "Protect your assets"

    As soon as the car detects it is an accident the bra will expand and become an extra set of airbags to ensure the essential area's are well protected from impact.

    We decline to comment on the rumours of an impending hack to allow women to make use of this feature in brs / nightclubs

  30. Efros

    I said siliCON dearie, siliCON... not CONE!

  31. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    Ashlee had not worked out that the web-punters were paying to see her take it off!

  32. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
    Trollface

    Aren't you a little buxom for a stormtrooper?

  33. TitterYeNot

    The Intel engineering team realise that they may have overdone the 'Smart' when their new bra starts to complain about the terrible pain in all the diodes down its left strap.

  34. SW10

    Pay attention now, 007...

  35. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    "Call that bra smart? It's the ugliest piece of lingerie that I've ever seen!"

  36. Andy Non

    We've had a product endorsement from seven of nine.

  37. Simon Davidson

    These babies are going to pay for themself

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Silicon tits sell bits.

  39. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    Although her roots matched the trim, a last minute change of the colour spoilt the effect by no longer matching the rest of her hair!

  40. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    The team were shocked to learn that the T in IoT actually didn't stand for things...

  41. John H Woods Silver badge

    This could be dangerous in the wrong hands, let's keep it away from the Norks.

  42. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    The quality inspector pointed out to the management that he machinists really had to stop leaving lose threads on the finished garment

  43. John H Woods Silver badge

    The only trouble is that it goes titsup if you lie back

  44. Mycho Silver badge

    We believe her crime was motivated by the discovery that she had been wearing self-aware underwear as much as that it had recorded her singing Justin Bieber.

  45. msknight Silver badge

    Teleconferencing was the only way to be safe when reviewing the bra's defensive capabilities.

  46. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    "I'm really sorry, Jenny, but I can't find your missing nipple in here anywhere."

  47. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Intel demonstrates their new 2 jigglebit storage device

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