back to article iPhone 6 gives bloke 'painful, lumpy' skin condition in trouser storage

An iPhone 6 has reportedly given one British chap a "painful and lumpy" rash right through his trouser pockets. Stockton-on-Tees local Mark Watson, 37, developed an itchy swelling shortly after laying his eager hands on a new Jesus Mobe. When a couple of creams from the chemist failed to resolve the problem, a bit of online …

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Coat

You don't expect a product by Apple to give you a rash.

They give me a rash, even without touching them.

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The fanbois give me a bigger rash, but I don't touch them either.

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Anonymous Coward

It will also give your wallet a cardiac arrest, should come with a wealth warning.

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"They give me a rash, even without touching them."

You're holding them wrong.

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You forgot the obvious.....

have the phone plated in PURE gold. "Steve" would be happy and Apple would have even greater margins.

Pure Gold is the least reactive metal and causes the least amount of allergic responses. Other types of gold can have silver or copper or both alloyed with the gold, usually to make the metal stronger.

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Re: You forgot the obvious.....

Yeah, but there are only three places in the world that can smelt pure gold on account of no-one else wanting the bother and toxic pollution the PITA process causes.

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Re: Pure gold is the least reactive metal...

My missus is allergic to it though. She breaks out in a rash to 9 or 18 ct gold jewelry (probably the impurities), but silver has no effect.

I certainly aint complaining!

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Re: You forgot the obvious.....

It may not have be smelted. There is an electrochemical purification process as I understand.

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Options.......

Option 4 - Go to a local church and ask for your leg to be exorcised by the resident exorcist, obviously your leg is possessed by Microsoft if it has a strong reaction to the phone of Gawd.

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Terminator

Re: Options.......

Electroplate your leg with gold. (Hang on tight, this might tingle a little.)

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Amputate the affected leg. Problem solved.

Also: why are iPhone users such whiny prats?

Farmers push useless stock into a large "offal pit". There should be one for Apple users in each town.

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•Encase the mobe in a nickel-proof thick rubber prophylactic

I'll assume that someone from El Reg is on top of this and filing a patent? The license fees for the design could net enough to cover at least one healthy pub tab.

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Anonymous Coward

Maybe it's just the logo?

I would just put some tape on the logo and see if that helps. If so, he's allergic to Apple.

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I don't often (ok never) defend Apple, but why the hell should they give him a new phone or compensate him? Who does he think he is! Besides, it's quite obvious he's just wearing the wrong trousers.

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Gimp

Obviously...

... he was just carrying it wrong!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Obviously...

A simple answer is to get one of those tacky silicon rubber cases that are available for all phones.

You can even get them in a clear formulation so you can continue to gaze upon the beauty of the Jesus phone.

Cue jokes about tacky, silicon and rubber.

The simplest answer is to put the phone in the pocket of your coat/jacket and only handle using pvc or nitrile rubber gloves.

The Apple answer is leave the phone in your coat pocket and buy an Apple Watch so you never need to handle the phone.

The rest of the world says ....... cut off the leg (Doesn't really help but entertains the non-Apple fanbois)

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Re: Obviously...

"The rest of the world says ....... cut off the leg (Doesn't really help but entertains the non-Apple fanbois)"

Yes it does. (The trick is to know which bit to keep after you cut the patient in two.)

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How did he have a reaction through his pocket?

Was there a hole in the pocket, or is he so highly allergic that even through the pocket he had issues? I guess this must be his first iPhone since they've had exposed metal for some time...

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Flame

Re: How did he have a reaction through his pocket?

Maybe he was doing what most Apple users to and rubbed the phone all over himself

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Coat

He's obviously just one step from 'taking the piss'

Coat, the one with the phone inside a protective case in the pocket.

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Facepalm

Leaves the phone at a home?!

He says he now "doesn't take the phone with him when he's out and about for a long time".

Err kinda defeats the point of having a mobile phone! Switch it for a plastic Android POS and get on with your life.

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Surely...

You just put it in your pocket glass side towards your leg?

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Anonymous Coward

Honest question. How does he figure it's the nickel in his phone that's causing the allergy when there's a layer of cloth between him and the phone, which should serve to provide a bit of a gap from physical contact (which is usually how these skin allergies emerge)?

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Happy

It's forming a battery!

He's one electrode, the fruitmobe the other, and the sweaty pocket cloth is the electrolyte.

He should find a way to us it to charge the phone- with the battery life of iThings as it is, they'll be queueing up to get a rashy leg if it doesn't mean they have to carry a charger around...

Or is this a case of iBalls?

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Re: It's forming a battery! No,....

It's more likely that he is trying to blame the rash on his wife's leg on the nickel in the Iphone versus the raging case of herpes he got from his Ashley Madison subscription. Hey no need to judge....

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Don't tell everyone!

I have been desperate to diagnose an iPhone user with this since I first came across this handy titbit of info (about this time last year iirc) but sadly no such patient has presented to me... usually it is described as a contact dermatitis in the hand (of whichever hand they tend to use on the phone, obviously). It is related to the nickel component in the gorilla glass.

Nickel allergies are a great diagnosis, as you look really clever with a minimal amount of knowledge. Bugger all treatment though beyond avoidance (a problem if it's your jeans button, or you really like that cheap piercing).

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