back to article Camera-carrying DOLPHIN SPY caught off Gaza

Palestinian news outlet Nadae Al Watan reports that a spy dolphin was captured in the Mediterranean Sea off Gaza. The publication says the creature was carrying a cameras and other surveillance equipment. It's alleged the Dolphin is a weaponised aquatic mammal used by Israel to observe Palestinian Islamic resistance movement …

Silver badge

Bah!

Weaponized dolphins.

Riiiiiight.

1
1
Silver badge

Re: Bah!

Old, old, old stuff. See further _The Day of the Dolphin_, by Robert Merle, 1969. Not a great book, but far better than the movie, staring George C. Scott, 1973. I still have the book somewhere. I saw the movie, once. That was twice too often.

Other, much better, and much more weaonized dolphin tales include _Startide Rising_, David Brin. 1983. I've got that one somewhere around here, too.

6
0
Silver badge
2
0
Silver badge

Re: Bah!

Two ways of looking at it:

1. Baah - more likely one.

2. The pics are true. In this case, that shall be a war crime, because I can bet that the Cetaceos Israeli Commando was served with some humus in the local seafood restaurant.

0
0

Re: Bah!

David Brin, the only person I know to write a book containing a masturbating dolphin...

His Uplift War series though is excellent.

2
0
Bronze badge

Re: Bah!

In a standoff between a dolphin with a webcam and a shark with a frikkin great laser I know who I would bet on

2
0
Bronze badge
Alert

Re: Bah!

David Brin, the only person I know to write a book containing a masturbating dolphin...

His Uplift War series though is excellent.

I would suggest you look at both Old Harry's game (there is a very evil dolphin (goes by the name of Chuckles) who appears in the first series I think, and who has a crush on Sharon Davies - I know not a book, but, and Carl Hiassen's Native Tongue - where the dolphin gets up to much much much

2
0

Whatever next?

Haddock with howitzers?

10
0
Silver badge

Re: Whatever next?

Nah... howitzers don't work to well underwater.. Maybe tuna with torpedoes?

6
0

Re: Whatever next?

Narwhals with nukes?

5
0

Re: Whatever next?

Mac-10erel?

8
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: Whatever next?

> Haddock with howitzers?

It's all about air power these days; they've deployed sea-gulls with siege-guns.

2
0
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Whatever next?

Marlins with Missiles?

Icon, because them Missiles be Minutemen

3
0
Silver badge

Re: Whatever next?

Sea-breams with c-beams?

Mines the one that glitters in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate...

4
0
Silver badge

Re: Whatever next?

Trout are very powerful and carry underwater weapons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kybyy1EkoOE

4
0
Bronze badge

Re: Whatever next?

mutated ill tempered sea bass?

2
0

Re: Whatever next?

Urchins with Uzis

3
0
Silver badge

Re: Whatever next?

Bats with Bombs?

owait. That one is real....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_bomb

5
0
Silver badge

Re: Whatever next?

Don't you go too near!

2
0

Re: Whatever next?

Pike with... Actually pike don't need secondary armament, they are vicious bastards already.

0
0

This post has been deleted by its author

Extraordinary rendition, torture, confession

3
2
Silver badge

Hamas are hoping to exchange it for some nice tuna and a year's supply of sardines.

2
1
Silver badge
Joke

Was the dolphin circumcised?

5
1
Silver badge
Joke

> What happened to the dolphin after it was captured?

It was delicious.

8
0
Silver badge

What happened to the dolphin after it was captured?

They kept asking it questions, but all it would say is "Darwin likes fish!", and then going "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

3
0
Coat

Hamas grills captured dolphin?

7
0

Seaquest DSV, my word, that's a blast from the past.

0
0
Silver badge

What happened to the dolphin after it was captured?

Water boarded.

0
0

Re:

No foreskin.

0
0

"Was the dolphin circumcised?"

Tricky - that would probably need four skin-divers.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Did they do it on porpoise?

I'll get my coat...

20
0
Silver badge
Coat

I don't believe this story. [cetacean needed]

15
0

Obligatory

"Flipper" reference

2
0
Bronze badge

"...spy on Palestinian navy."

Ooh, so they managed to mount a .50 cal on a pedalo?

7
0
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: "...spy on Palestinian navy."

I know you're joking but I'd like to see that happen. I predict the pedelo zooming backwards.

I'm sure some of our US readers with, shall we say, a neck of purest #FF0000, could set up the required demonstration?

2
1
404
Silver badge

Re: "...spy on Palestinian navy."

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around 'Palestinian Navy'...

However, I shall begin watching for dolphins in my neighborhood since I do indeed own a 18.5' Welcraft outboard with a cracked block...

4
1
Silver badge

Whale and dolphin

I can only think about the South Park episode where the Japanese explain the kill whales and dolphins because it was a whale and a dolphin flying the Enola Gay.

5
0
WTF?

Notably absent...

...any photo of said captured marine mammal, or its equipment.

// slow news day in Palestine?

2
0
Silver badge
WTF?

How does it spy on land?

Announcer: We now return to "Knightboat: the Crime-Solving Boat".

Michael: Faster, Knightboat! We gotta catch those starfish poachers.

Knightboat: You don't have to yell, Michael, I'm all around you.

Michael: Oh, no! They're headed for land. We'll never catch them now.

Knightboat: Incorrect: look! A canal.

Homer: Go, Knightboat, go!

Bart: Oh, every week there's a canal.

Lisa: Or an inlet.

Bart: Or a fjord.

Homer: Quiet! I will not hear another word against the boat.

7
1

Re: How does it spy on land?

They actually made this: Thunder in Paradise starring, of all people, Hulk Hogan. It's just as awful as it sounds.

4
0

Ah, but are they effective against mind controlled giant squid?

3
0

Arms (Flipper ?) Race

Having honed their tactics by using the Red Alert training simulator, Hamas are now ready to deploy their giant squid against the Israeli Navy.

We will annihilate them!

0
0
Silver badge
Pint

So long

and thanks for all the great hardware.

3
0

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017