back to article DEATH by VEGETABLES: Woman charged with killing boyf using carrots. And peas

A woman in California allegedly killed her boyfriend using mixed veg, according to local news reports. According to NBCLA, a local prosecutor states that Linda Clarene Jackson, 59, of Lake Los Angeles, allegedly attacked her 59-year-old boyfriend, David Ruiz, while he was in her house. The local TV station reported further …


  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Worse and more damaging things than spamming someone.

    If that's a cue for tins of spam jokes then I'm dry, you'll have to have all jokes without spam. Without spam? Urgh....

  2. Six_Degrees

    Wait - there's such a thing as canned carrots?


    1. Ian Emery Silver badge
      IT Angle

      EVERYTHING* can be bought in a can

      While in France I spotted canned snails.

      Yep, you read correctly, something even worse than Spam!!

      * OK, I meant food-wise.

      Please note, mentioning Spam doesnt make this IT related.

      1. Paul Woodhouse

        Re: EVERYTHING* can be bought in a can

        sorry, had to downvote cos I rather like eating snails... and I can't stand Spam :p....

        1. John 110

          Re: EVERYTHING* can be bought in a can

          I QUITE LIKE SPAM...

          (Do I have to say "bloody vikings!"?)

      2. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

        Re: EVERYTHING* can be bought in a can

        You've never heard of hákarl then. It's considered an offence to open it in someplaces as well as being banned from handcarry on airflights.

        1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

          Re: EVERYTHING* can be bought in a can

          I believe it's surströmming that's banned from hand luggage.

          Hákarl sounds worse than surströmming, but at least it's not under pressure.

      3. Whit.I.Are

        Re: EVERYTHING* can be bought in a can

        I recently saw canned brussel sprouts...

    2. 20legend

      Same reason as every other canned veg...

      1. smartypants

        Tinned tomatoes shirley should be excepted. And kidney beans. And borlotti beans. And olives. And anchovies*

        (*for my vegetarian friends who eat fish)

    3. SolidSquid

      Generally for longer term storage/out of season use. Also they're generally pretty cheap and work in soups pretty much as well as fresh carrots would

      1. Matt Langley

        I also understand that you can substitute home made carrot soup made with tinned carrots with tinned carrot soup, and it tastes pretty much the same as home made tinned-carrot soup.

    4. Monty Cantsin

      I would have thought canned carrots are fairly common - although the ones I see in the supermarket (never bought them) are usually in jars, not cans, and they're those little baby carrots.

      For the worst thing in a can ever, nothing beats Canned Whole Chicken:

      1. Jonathan Richards 1


        I'd eat canned chicken like that for the rest of my life rather than be in the same building as Surströmming. There is video evidence of the totally revolting nature of this Swedish delicacy - or Weapon of Limited Destruction - on YouTube.

        Disclaimer: I punched 'Pause' on that video about two seconds in, before the guy even picked up the can. You have been warned!

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      do you really think those perfect, all identical, baby-cut carrots you get in some restaurants are prepared by hand in the restaurant itself? (They're either canned or frozen)

      1. keith_w

        I am pretty sure they are regular adult carrots run through a die to shape them into baby carrots.

      2. Joe Loughry

        They're made on a carrot lathe.

    6. IanTP

      Upvote for the Jasper Carrot reference! :)

    7. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. keith_w

        Check the sodium.

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Was sent to buy a jar of diced carrots the other day. Had to stop myself thinking of Billy Connolly.

    9. Fungus Bob Silver badge

      "Wait - there's such a thing as canned carrots?


      For killing people, obviously...

  3. GSystems

    No Worries...

    It's a female who committed a murder... In the ol' U.S. women are hardly responsible for their actions and thus get far lighter sentences than men... It's the whole "equal protection under law" approach that has served us so well...

    My calculation: She'll be out just in time for her Social Security cheque...

    1. sabroni Silver badge

      Re: No Worries...

      You poor old downtrodden male you.... Cry me a fucking river.

      1. sabroni Silver badge

        Re: No Worries...

        What's more irritating is that, despite the masculinist vibe of the OP there is a point to be made here. Apparently women do get lesser sentences for similar crimes:"

        A single paper doesn't constitute irrefutable evidence by any standards, but it is certainly worth considering.

    2. Anonymous Blowhard

      Re: No Worries...

      "She'll be out just in time for her Social Security cheque"

      She won't need Social Security, she'll be pitching for the Dodgers...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: No Worries...

      "In the ol' U.S. women are hardly responsible for their actions and thus get far lighter sentences than men"

      Perhaps interestingly the statistics show that men are 9 times as likely to be sent to prison as women, and 90.5% of murders are committed by men.

      More evidence is needed but your statement is hardly borne out.

  4. Alister Silver badge

    The episode serves to underline the fact that there are worse and more damaging things than spamming someone

    Hmm, I wouldn't be so sure, tins of Spam tend to be square, whereas tins of veg and soup are nearly always round, so I would suggest that being hit by a tin of Spam is potentially more damaging.

    I feel some further research may be necessary...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      More damaging than dead is just overkill

    2. TheOtherHobbes

      >tins of Spam tend to be square

      IME they tend to have rounded corners.

      It's incredible Apple allows them to continue this blatant patent infringement.

  5. Shadow Systems Silver badge

    She'll get off lightly...

    She'll tell the Judge she felt he needed more iron in his diet...

    I'll get my coat, it's the one with the tin of Chicken Noodle Soup in the pocket.

  6. Anonymous Coward

    Any accident happend to my brother Jim,

    When someone through a tomatoe at him.

    Tomatoes are juicy and don't hurt the skin,

    But this one was specially packed in a tin.

    (with apologies to the late Spike Milligan)

    1. Chris Miller

      You spell tomatoe

      And I spell tomato ...

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Ian Emery Silver badge

        You missed through/throw.

        Where is the BC/ES lamp fitting on a cable c/w ceiling fixing when you need it??

      3. noominy.noom

        And they spell through, I spell threw.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That will teach him not to criticise her cooking again.

    1. TitterYeNot

      Well, it's certainly one way of teaching someone to mind their peas and Q's I suppose...

  8. Andy Non

    This thread is full of canned laughter.

  9. Anonymous Coward

    SHOCKING NEWS: Dieticians were right!

    Tinned food is bad for you!

  10. Richard Jones 1

    Full of Canned Laughs

    It sounds a bit tinny to me*

    Apologies to those who think a tinny is something else - better!

    1. DuncanL

      Re: Full of Canned Laughs

      "Vegetables" has got a sort of *woody* quality about it. Much better than 'newspaper' or 'litter bin'.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

  11. ukgnome Silver badge

    What ever next?

    Death by squirrel!

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

      Death by kitchen cupboard. At least that's what mine tried a couple of nights ago when I opened it and it rained tins down on me.

      I really must tidy it up one of these days...

      1. moiety

        Death by squirrel has been attempted already:

  12. DrBobK

    Infamous Leytonstone Drive-by Turnip Killing

    I'm disappointed that the vegetables were still in cans.

  13. Ironclad

    Conflict is not the answer.

    All we are saying, is give peas a chance.

  14. Tromos


    ,,,that crisps are healthier than vegetables.

  15. chivo243 Silver badge

    #10 cans?

    Must have been using the industrial sized #10 cans!


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