back to article BOOM! Stephen Elop shuffled out of Microsoft door

Ex-Nokia chief Stephen Elop is officially out of Microsoft. Redmond announced the cull of top execs at the software company in the past hour, and Elop is the most high-profile victim of the bloodletting. Elop, Kirill Tatarinov and Eric Rudder will be leaving Microsoft following a handover period at the firm. It means that …

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  1. dogged

    Presumably somebody still remembers the Nokia X Series and still isn't too chuffed about it.

    1. Bob Vistakin
      Facepalm

      There's s theory his job was just to stop Nokia launching an Android phone, thus making things easier for Microsoft to launch a mobile OS of their own.

      Well, the first part is done so he can fuck off now. We're still waiting for the second.

      1. Charles Manning

        "There's s theory his job was just to stop Nokia launching an Android phone"

        Why would MS do that? They've made more money off their Android protection racket than of Windows phones.

      2. Christian Berger Silver badge

        "There's s theory his job was just to stop Nokia launching an Android phone, thus making things easier for Microsoft to launch a mobile OS of their own."

        Actually Nokia had 2 operating systems which, compared to Windows Mobile, were perfectly competitive.

        One was Symbian, which was held up by its momentum, but clearly at the end of its life.

        The other one was Maemo which even today is a serious competitor for people who actually want do _do_ stuff with their mobile devices.

        1. mathew42
          Linux

          Nokia changed direction on Maemo too many times, which cost them dearly.

          I'm waiting for my Jolla Tablet to ship with Sailfish OS (successor to Maemo). Hopefully they are still on track to ship before the end of July. https://jolla.com/tablet/

  2. Ashton Black
    Joke

    Indeed.

    ""This change will enable us to deliver better products and services that our customers love at a more rapid pace."

    The implication being the products they don't love (I would suggest most of them), will stagnate in a sea of bugs and zero days.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Indeed.

      There may be products I like. There may be products I prefer. There may even be products I like very much. But love? No. I reserve that for living beings.

      1. Evil Auditor Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Indeed.

        ...love [...] I reserve that for living beings

        What the heck are you doing on El Reg? You aren't a techie, are you?

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Indeed.

          I love pizza. I have a beard. I know which end of a screwdriver is the business end. But I don't wear comic superhero t-shirts or baggy "shorts" that reach past the knees. So, no, not a "proper" techie ;-)

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: Indeed.

            Real techies only wear T shirts they got for free at a conference or on a course.

            And they don't under any circumstances expose more of their lower body than is necessary at work

          2. Evil Auditor Silver badge
            Devil

            Re: Indeed.

            @John Brown

            Be you a proper techie or not (neither am I in this regard). What worries me though is that you consider pizza a living being. Then again, if you leave the pizza lying around for long enough it probably turns into some sort of life-form...

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: Indeed.

              "What worries me though is that you consider pizza a living being."

              Bugger! I fell into my own trap! Oh well, at least it's a kebab pizza :-)

  3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Well, there's gratitude for you! Does anyone have any platforms that need burning?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Well, there's gratitude for you!"

      I daresay the gratitude is measured in millions of dollars, accompanied by a 70 page NDA. I can't see Elop crying over his exit from Microsoft.

      1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

        I can't see Elop anybody crying over his exit from Microsoft.

        FTFY

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Eflop did his job which was to completely fuck up Nokia and stop it falling into the Android camp. However this strategy has completely failed as the WP is a pitiful 3.2 % world wide market share and has left MS taking a serious bath trying to chase rainbows.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "However this strategy has completely failed

        ... as the WP is a pitiful 3.2 % world wide market share".

        There are a number of Android manufacturers who would be delighted with a 3.2% market share.

        WP's problem, I think, is simply this: Apple has sewn up the profitable part of the US market so tight it can't fart without a pair of scissors. The iPhone has become the outward sign of some sort of respectability; it doesn't require technical skills to make it work and it does work very well. For Microsoft to succeed, it has to compete with iOS not Android, since to get status-conscious eyeballs around the world it needs to be seen to succeed in the US. (Sony make some very good products, but they are invisible in the US and this seems to affect worldwide sales.) Samsung spends a lot of money to get its US market share, but it is already known as a hardware maker. Microsoft isn't.

        I don't think Elop could have succeeded, even if he had the RDF of Jobs, because conditions in the 21st century are different from those in the 20th.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "However this strategy has completely failed

          @ Arnaut the less

          There are a number of Android manufacturers who would be delighted with a 3.2% market share.

          You forget that MS once had an enormous market share with Windows Mobile which through sheer incompetence and complacency have flushed down the toilet and it's costing them billlllleeeeeeons (look at me I'm a Reg Hack) to maintain a pitiful position in the market. Ballmer just didn't see Jobs, Page and Brin coming and utterly failed to react.

          1. Captain DaFt

            Re: "However this strategy has completely failed

            "Ballmer just didn't see Jobs, Page and Brin coming and utterly failed to react."

            Oh, he saw and reacted. "Hm, Windows, Outlook, Word. Nope they're not affected by this, who cares?"

          2. hoverboy

            Re: "However this strategy has completely failed

            No, he was a fat f*ck and than god for everyone's sakes we now have Nadella. If you haven't tried a Windows phone recently you really ought to get out more. Take the US out of the figures and Windows Phone is doing very well. Jobs could maybe face up to Nadella, but Cook? Really??

            1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

              Re: "However this strategy has completely failed

              If you haven't tried a Windows phone recently you really ought to get out more.

              If you think playing with a smartphone is "get[ting] out", I don't think there's any profit in taking advice from you.

              And even that aside, I don't understand the warrant for this argument. Suppose Windows Phone was the greatest damn phone OS ever. If my phone does what I want, why should I care?

              Frankly, if my Symbian S60 phone were still working, I'd still be using it. I only switched to Android because the Symbian one died and various Android models with similar capabilities were by far the cheapest choice.

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: "However this strategy has completely failed

            "You forget that MS once had an enormous market share with Windows Mobile "

            A big share of a very small market that was at the time almost entirely corporate. I've hardly seen any WM phones in the wild.

            1. dogged

              Re: "However this strategy has completely failed

              > A big share of a very small market that was at the time almost entirely corporate. I've hardly seen any WM phones in the wild.

              This is true. I had one (I bought it thinking I'd be able to while away the quiet times writing code on my phone but that - with the Motorola MPX200 at least - was not an option) and it remains the only WM phone I've ever seen except for it's replacement, also owned by me as an experiment. That was the 1st gen HTC Touch which was actually a pretty good little phone.

              The stylus was nifty for taking notes.

              1. Angol

                Re: "However this strategy has completely failed

                "its" not it's"

        2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: "However this strategy has completely failed

          > For Microsoft to succeed, it has to compete with iOS not Android,

          It tried its best, it made iOS and Android as difficult as possible to use with any MS based office.

          But people still preferred a nice phone to having their calender work

    3. TheOtherHobbes

      >Does anyone have any platforms that need burning?

      HP could be hiring.

      Or Network Rail.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Cameron?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        >Does anyone have any platforms that need burning?

        I bet 3 qubits on QNX

    4. Kunari

      He's getting his golden parachute and will be setup just fine when he leaves MS. It's us plebes that get screwed over in corporate mergers and reshuffling.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Chief insights officer"

    I like this.

    I want this job title. I know how to smile, knowingly, and appear wise. *

    *Key word here is 'appear'

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      WTF?

      Re: "Chief insights officer"

      Rain is wet.

      FIFA are a little bit dodgy.

      Don't pour scalding coffee into your lap.

      Bears defecate in sylvan environments.

      Thank you. Those have been today's insights. My work here is done, have a nice day.

      Yours,

      I ain't Spartacus

      Chief Insight Officer

      1. Esskay

        Re: "Chief insights officer"

        hmm I don't know... "Chief Insights officer" sounds like where you put the unwanted office equipment...

        "Why are we losing market share?

        Why aren't people buying our products?

        Why didn't we see this coming?"

        *Entire boardroom turns to 'Chief Insights Officer'*

        "erm...."

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: "Chief insights officer"

      Forget that title. The job I want is either "Corporate Curmudgeon" or "Corporate Scapegoat". Either one will do nicely as long it pays very well and there's a golden parachute included.

      1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

        Re: "Chief insights officer"

        I would say corporate dogsbody and corporate ground-zero, but I think I already have those titles (unpaid and unofficial of course)...

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Chief insights officer" - "Corporate Scapegoat"

        The anti-hero of some of the books of Daniel Pennac has exactly this job title ("Bouc émissaire" in French). An amusing read if you speak the language, but a submissive personality type must help.

    3. 's water music Silver badge

      Re: "Chief insights officer"

      I want this job title.

      Fuck that shit. I wont settle for less than Princess Imagineer. Who said that the public sector had the non-job market all sewn up?

  5. getHandle
    Happy

    Ain't karma a bitch?

    Let's hope he's Ratner'ed his CV to the point where he can't do any more damage.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Ain't karma a bitch?

      "Let's hope he's Ratner'ed his CV to the point where he can't do any more damage."

      Don't be silly. At those rarefied heights of employment, you can walk into a company, destroy it, and still easily move on into an equally lucrative role somewhere else. You'll even get a golden parachute from the devastated company and a golden hello from the soon to be devastated company.

      1. Nunyabiznes

        Re: Ain't karma a bitch?

        I wish you were wrong.

  6. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Matt Piechota

      Re: Well that confirms it...

      Microsoft are truly Rudderless now!

      You can't make an assumption like that, it's entirely possible that in a company that size there are several more!

      1. Preston Munchensonton
        Coat

        Re: Well that confirms it...

        You can't make an assumption like that, it's entirely possible that in a company that size there are several more!

        Of course, we have to assume this is the case. Hasn't the problem with Microsoft been the presence of too many Rudders?

      2. JustNiz

        Re: Well that confirms it...

        Rudderless? Elop wasn't ever smart enough to be a rudder, he's just another overpaid, useless (w)anchor.

      3. Tom Maddox Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Well that confirms it...

        "You can't make an assumption like that, it's entirely possible that in a company that size there are several more!"

        Indeed. They should start by trying their offices in The Netherlands.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Well that confirms it...

      They still have the clueless idiots that made the laughable excuse of a game console, the rubbish tablet, all the plebs that went along with windows I hope train without speaking up.

    3. Fungus Bob Silver badge

      Re: Well that confirms it...

      "Microsoft are truly Rudderless now!"

      And when they manage to kill off the cash cows of Office and Windows they will be udderless too!

  7. asdf Silver badge
    Trollface

    WP forever? not so much

    With the runaway success of Windows Phone and Lumia who could have seen this coming? Also so much for Win10 lifting all boats. Seriously though good riddance ass hat. Still it will be different to see Microsoft executives suddenly "wanting to spend more time with their families" because they are incompetent yes men instead of because they threaten the insecure sweaty CEO like in the past.

    1. asdf Silver badge

      Re: WP forever? not so much

      I am not saying btw that Microsoft is going to pull out of mobile any time soon (that would be suicide long term) but simply that their approach so far obviously needs a major adjustment. Jury's still out on the universal app thing but really that should have been ready to go when Win8 was released (which seemed to be the plan but the massive infighting with clueless Captain Ballmer couldn't deliver). That has been Microsoft's story since the Ballmer days started, nothing but me too products released 2 to 4 years too late or when the rare somewhat new comes out its not what people want (see hard Kinnect fail). Things do seem to be changing with new blood. Time will tell.

      1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

        Microsoft is doing well in the phone business

        Plenty of revenue, but not from WP. I think Microsoft has already shown their plans for their future in the mobile phone industry.

  8. ratfox Silver badge
    Happy

    Woo hoo!

    I'm sure there are plenty more douchebags at Microsoft, but this goes in the right direction!

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