back to article Conservative manifesto: 5G, 'near universal' broadband and free mobes for PC Dixon

Hot on the heels of Labour, the Conservatives today launched their manifesto – which matched their rivals for the sheer lack of detail on tech-related policy. "We will ensure that Britain seizes the chance to be a world leader in the development of 5G, playing a key role in defining industry standards," read the manifesto. No …

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  1. James 51

    tech centre of Europe

    Even if they lose that referendum they keep promising?

    1. codejunky Silver badge

      Re: tech centre of Europe

      Is it a cast iron guarantee?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: tech centre of Europe

      Actually they already have done this: self-agrandising wankery on a computer surely counts as "tech" to the policy wonk mind, and the lovely photo here of the lovely Dave quite near a laptop fully delivers the GDA dose of wankery.

    3. Grikath

      Re: tech centre of Europe

      Now... I'm not exactly up to speed with the current state of bleedin' edge tech development in the UK, but afaik the only tech the UK really excels in is Outsourcing.

      All the other stuff that actually, you know, *makes* things happens on the mainland.

  2. Gordon 10
    Thumb Down

    Confirmation

    That Call Me a Tool of GCHQ (tool for short) isn't getting my vote.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Confirmation

      Seems like there is very little that could dissuade you from that.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Confirmation

        so good to see open minds going into an election campaign.

        1. Gordon 10
          FAIL

          Re: Confirmation

          Pray tell me how I'm meant to have an open mind when both of the main parties have policies that are essentially unchanged over the last 5+ years, which are all about the triumph of big organisations such as the civil service, the unions, big business (delete as appropriate) over the individual?

          I've decided this time round I'm voting based on the single issue I'm passionate about - (digital) civil liberties - as there is very little else to distinguish the big 3, if that makes me close minded (like about 80% of the electorate) then so be it.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So.....

    Refreshing to see them actually putting real, measurable targets in their Manefesto. You know, things we could look at in 5 years and say "Yup, they delivered that" or "Nope, they didn't get that done". Nice change from the usual bollocks that goes into a manefesto, where they are vague, wooly and non commital, and try to take the public for complete half-witts.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Meh

      Re: So.....

      It's all bollocks. If they fail to meet the targets, they'll just pretend it never happened or it's because of <insert opposition party>

      How about this.

      For everything we fail to deliver on, each person that voted for us can punch me in the face.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. DaneB

        Re: So.....

        and / or kick in the nuts.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: So.....

          and / or kick in the nuts.

          And.

    2. theModge

      Re: So.....

      The problem is that the public at large have an IQ slightly lower than the square root of the dumbest person in the group. Given "the public" is a very large group with some very dumb people, so they may very well be right to treat them as complete half-wits, if not a little over generous.

    3. jonathanb Silver badge

      Re: So.....

      "as soon as practicable" means "never" in politician-speak.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So.....

      You mean like there promise not to mess with the NHS at the last election, resulting in the biggest top-down restructuring since the NHS was formed.

  4. AndrueC Silver badge
    Joke

    So the Conservatives can't define 5G. I'm not sure that the telecoms industry can either.

  5. Vimes

    The Tories would give the security services the power they need.

    Other parties are wary of giving offence, and upsetting those concerned about civil liberties.

    But, he says, he has met the relatives of terrorist victims. He has had to make the judgment calls. And the Conservative party will not risk the nation’s security, he says.

    Guardian article

    Ummm... Despite knowing about the 7/7 bombers, Lee Rigby killers and Jihadi John, and all *WITHOUT* these additional powers he intends to give them? As did the French government with the Charlie Hebdo attack? Nobody within the government seems to have paid any sort of price for these continued failures, and are presumably still in their job. Come to think of it:

    https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2015/04/10/cressida-dick-uk-foreign-office-secret/

    It must be nice to be involved in the death of an innocent man (De Menezes), get to keep your job and even get to keep it secret. Most people would be fired and possibly even in prison. Do it in the name of the government and you apparently get a promotion.

    Isn't *that* sort of behaviour the bigger risk to the nation's security?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Only 5G? why not promise 8G or 10G?

    1. mamsey
      Joke

      Because 5G is the only one that promisies the zombie apocalypse without which the gvmnt will never be able to control the populace

  7. davidp231

    What about...

    ...providing 2G services to those who don't get it? Never mind 3, 4 or 5G.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: What about...

      To be fair, they've actually started work on doing that already. Even if quite a lot of people have criticised the method they suggested for doing so.

      1. Cupboard

        Re: What about...

        I'm sat in my house in North Norfolk with no reception on with EE or Vodafone currently showing on my phone.

        If I walk to the pub, about 50% of the time one of the networks will show a little bit of signal (it comes and goes at random), and that *might* work if I try and use it. Calls on Vodafone frequently fail even if the phone claims to have reception, and with summer approaching I'm expecting that to get worse because it always does. Vodafone are notably worse than EE in that respect.

        It's not like I'm living in deepest darkest Scotland surrounded by hills either! Norfolk is one of the flattest bits of the country and the best way of getting a working internet connection is wirelessly to avoid BT.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: What about...

          If I walk to the pub, about 50% of the time one of the networks will show a little bit of signal

          I wish I had a pub like that. It would be even better if Sky didn't work there either, but I suppose Norfolk is too flat to have adeqaute natural obstructions.

        2. h4rm0ny

          Re: What about...

          >>"Calls on Vodafone frequently fail even if the phone claims to have reception"

          I get that with Vodafone. My phone will show medium or even high reception but the call keeps dropping. It's only something I have noticed since moving to Vodafone. I have been trying to work out if it is the network or something wrong with my phone. If my phone is showing good signal, what causes the call to repeatedly drop and txt messages to fail?

  8. Martin Gregorie

    Some political minds might be concentrated if...

    ... all UK news sources refused point blank to carry any election broadcasts or propaganda until the party concerned had published a fully costed manifesto and its balance sheet.

    1. Vimes

      Re: Some political minds might be concentrated if...

      Even better - make any manifesto pledges legally binding. It might make certain people think twice before making promises they can't keep.

      1. Allan George Dyer
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Some political minds might be concentrated if...

        @Vimes - If I promise to pass a law making manifesto pledges legally binding, will you vote for me?

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Some political minds might be concentrated if...

      Are you willing to fund the parties to have sufficient academics, accountants administrators and economists on hand to fully cost every policy?

      Plus the crystal ball required to predict movements of the economy over the next 5 years - given that this is currently impossible...

      1. Vimes

        Re: Some political minds might be concentrated if...

        Plus the crystal ball required to predict movements of the economy over the next 5 years - given that this is currently impossible...

        Then why make the promises in the first place?

        And the parties themselves are the ones that keep on claiming that their policies are fully costed. Personally I wouldn't mind putting that to the test.

        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

          Re: Some political minds might be concentrated if...

          Well if they don't make promises they get criticised for being vague. Witness the times politicians are attacked for only setting aims, and why aren't they targets or promises... And if they do, they get criticised for not meeting them.

          Oddly enough you don't get a magical ability to predict the future when you enter politics. And your budget and ability to do stuff are contstrained by the global and national economies, and what you can influence/force/pursuade people to do.

          With elections often being 4 or 5 years apart and manifestos tending to be planned a year or two before elections, circumstances can change in other ways too.

          In the case of coalition governments, things get even harder, as you don't even get to attempt to implement everything in your manifesto.

          1. Vimes

            Re: Some political minds might be concentrated if...

            Oddly enough you don't get a magical ability to predict the future when you enter politics.

            I never claimed that they did.

            They do however have the choice of deciding what to promise, with most of them opting to promise the moon when they know it's not possible.

            Making these promises legally binding would at least ensure that no party could illegitimately gain votes by making promises that can never be kept without facing consequences.

            And once again: it's the political parties themselves insisting on using terms like 'fully costed'. If that truly is the case then what harm could there be in putting that to the test? And if not why shouldn't their lives be made difficult when they make claims that don't stand up to scrutiny?

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Some political minds might be concentrated if...

              Vimes, the big problem is that people don't know when a PPE graduate is lying - to be certain you need to see their lips, if they are moving it is a lie.

            2. h4rm0ny

              Re: Some political minds might be concentrated if...

              >>"They do however have the choice of deciding what to promise, with most of them opting to promise the moon when they know it's not possible."

              That's because the one's making promises get elected. Take a population of 20 candidates. 19 tell the truth, 1 promises everyone a pony. The one lying gets elected. It's immaterial whether you chastise MPs for lying or not because the system is set up to reward the liar. The only way to change that system is to get the voters to not reward lying - complaining about the MPs wont change anything. And to change the voter behaviour, you need more educated people.

              1. Vimes

                Re: Some political minds might be concentrated if...

                The only way to change that system is to get the voters to not reward lying

                Isn't that a bit like putting the responsibility of a scam on the victims rather than the scammers trying to con them?

                complaining about the MPs wont change anything

                Tell that to the MPs forced to quit after the expenses scandal. It sure changed things for them.

                Perhaps if they know the same sort of thing would happen to them if they dared to tell such bare faced lies then they wouldn't do it in the first place?

                1. h4rm0ny

                  Re: Some political minds might be concentrated if...

                  >>"Isn't that a bit like putting the responsibility of a scam on the victims rather than the scammers trying to con them?"

                  Yes and no. MPs who lie are obviously still culpable of doing wrong and this isn't absolving them of this. But the better analogy is like an interviewer that keeps hiring the wrong people because they never check references and never do any proper assessment of the candidate. They just keep giving the job to the person with the best suit.

                  Basically, our selection criteria is flawed. You can blame the people we select, but there will always be dishonest candidates and if we preferentially select them over the honest ones, WE have responsibility for that.

                  >>"Tell that to the MPs forced to quit after the expenses scandal. It sure changed things for them."

                  It changed things for them but it did not change the system. There will always be people who set short-term benefit (which can be years) ahead of the threat of eventual possible reprimand. And so long as we consistently elect the person with the grandest promises, we are selecting for such people.

  9. King Jack

    Connected Britain

    They only want to connect people to spy on them. Why would anyone vote for that?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Tories are no strangers...

    ..to giving measurable targets. They are also no strangers to totally failing to deliver them:

    http://anotherangryvoice.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/tory-contract-kick-us-out-in-5-years.html

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The Tories are no strangers...

      but my dear chap, the world situation changed in the period from when we gave you those promises and now.

      Bloody politico's tripple speak.

      IMHO, those standing to become an MP who have never had a proper job and that does not include being a researcher for a political party after graduating with a degree in Politics and anything else, should declare this in 48pt type on all their election publicity.

      People harange Cameron etc for going to Eton but IMHO many on the Red side are just as divorced from the real world as the Tories.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The Tories are no strangers...

        "IMHO, those standing to become an MP who have never had a proper job and that does not include being a researcher for a political party after graduating with a degree in Politics and anything else, should declare this in 48pt type on all their election publicity."

        Completely agree - and add all journalists meeting same requirement or not getting air time / print space / bytes ....

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: The Tories are no strangers...

          I would go further and say that no one wanting to be a politician in ANY public office could do so unless they had at least a 15 years proven record of ability in industry and then, if they get elected they can not serve more than two terms in that public office.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The Tories are no strangers...

        but my dear chap, the world situation changed in the period from when we gave you those promises and now.

        To be fair, all of the manifesto pledges in the last election were (purportedly) what each party would do if they won the election, and none of them won the election. Pledges are "If you vote us in to power, we will do this", they aren't "If you vote the Tories in to a minority government and we by happenstance become the makeweight that allows them to enact laws, we hopefully will be allowed to do this"

        1. Vimes

          Re: The Tories are no strangers...

          If you vote us in to power

          Shouldn't that be more simply stated as 'if you vote for us'? Even MPs outside of government have influence (witness for example the SNP helping the government get through legislation only affecting England).

          I personally don't subscribe to the view that because they didn't win the election that they get to drop all the standards that got them their share of the vote to start with.

          Even if the likes of the lib Dems couldn't force tuition fees to stay at the same level they didn't have to vote for them to be raised either (beyond their obsession with wanting power).

          If nobody won then perhaps the best option would have been to have another election?

          For that matter why don't we have a similar system to countries like France where there is more than one round? If we had this last time then lib dem voters could have had a chance to decide which side they wanted to support rather than only have the option of having Nick Clegg make that decision for them.

  11. Ian 62

    Free mobiles for coppers, plus the snoopers charter? Nice way of finding out which reporters are talking to which policemen, without all that nasty bother asking judges to get the telecoms to hand over the data.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    Conservative manifesto: 5G

    So that means...

    Labour manifesto: 6G

    Conservative manifesto: 7G

    Labour manifesto: 8G

    Conservative manifesto: 9G

    Labour manifesto: 10G

    ...that's how dumb our politicians are.

    1. Richard Jones 1
      WTF?

      Re: Conservative manifesto: 5G

      And the Green a Gee Gee until the hay runs out when they would do you for animal cruelty. After all they are promising a no fuel future. Now where did I put my barrier building manual in case they get a sniff of government..

  13. Annihilator

    Cool, so excited to find out how the government are going to kick BT to finally switch on the FTTC cab that's already been installed for over a year. The enable date has been getting delayed 3 months at a time, but they've finally bit the bullet and delayed it until March 2016. Presumably the teaboy got bored of updating the date 4x a year.

    Or, realistically, the government will have naff all influence.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      They promised "near" universal ultra-fast broadband.

      The cabinet will have universal ultra-fast broadband and you will be near it - promise delivered.

    2. Chloe Cresswell Silver badge

      We had one like that, cab installed, no service for 18 months, 3 other cabs in the town had been live.

      Found out in the end the ducting had collapsed and they couldn't blow the fibre to it. Till some pikeys stole the truck cable and they had to dig the duct out to fix that, Suddenly, cab had fibre and was live..

      1. Annihilator

        " Till some pikeys stole the truck cable and they had to dig the duct out to fix that, Suddenly, cab had fibre and was live."

        Noted, I'll look into securing some pikeys... :-D

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