back to article Yes! It's DRONE PORN. And we don't mean shiny pics of UAVs

It's been said that a technology hasn't really made it into the mainstream until it's been used for porn*. If that's true, then welcome, drones. Thanks to Brooklyn, New York filmmakers Brandon LaGanke and John Cartucci – who produce ads, music videos, and other content via their company, Ghost+Cow – we now have Drone Boning, …

Anonymous Coward

Of course you only viewed the video in your professional editorial capacity.

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The rest of us will have to use time-sheet comments like "bandwidth testing of large-file streaming capacity"

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Honest Boss... I thought I was streaming some important breaking news.

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Strange

On the Drone Boning videos the people are in unusual places, difficult to get to, or highly unlikely for a quick bit of nookie, and yet there are never any clothes, bags, jackets or anything else lying around. Everything is simply too perfect.

I can only presume that this is a marketing stunt.

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Coat

Re: Strange

First thing I noticed.

Well, maybe the second thing.

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Re: Strange

I'm no expert, but it seemed to me that it a lot of the scenes the relevant body parts are not close enough for anything much to be happening anyway - I suspect that's partly why the scenes change as soon as the drone gets close. I've seen harder material on channels 4 & 5!

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Re: Strange

>I can only presume that this is a marketing stunt.

After having a quick shufti through their other stuff, it is actually marketing. This is actually what these guys do, they make small films, and from the looks of some of them "extreme" is actually the leitmotif... Not porn extreme, just OTT extreme.

Some of them are quite well done.. especially the DroneBone one, there is a bit of something for everyone if you look closely.

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Re: Strange

Sorry, was that "stunt"?

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Anonymous Coward

The future

The propellers could be nasty on the close-ups. On the other hand tiny drones could get really close into the action. Even some internal shots like those used in medical research. Split screen possibly? That's the trouble with pr0n - no imagination.

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Devil

Re: The future

Are you suggesting a "Prince Albert cam"?

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Re: The future

There's plenty of imagination involved in pr0n.

Sometimes the producers imagine the performers will be considered attractive by viewers.

Often viewers imagine that that what they see onscreen is somehow happening to them.

Or imagine that there's a chance in a million of it happening to them in real life.

Or imagine that that's exactly how women behave, and how available they are, in real life.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Prince Albert cam

Interesting idea, but I don't think it would be a hit in this house. How heavy would it likely be, and how big?

edited for spelling...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Prince Albert cam

Medical cameras are getting pretty small these days. Michael Moseley swallowed one in a capsule on a BBC program to show video of its progression through the body.

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Have you heard the tale of Craig's Mom's Bush?

And the night it saved us from drones?

Nobody knew the power it had

They just thought it was shaggy and gross!

Craig's Mom lived a life of shame and despair

Everyone feared their great giant bush!

But then when drones were filling the sky

She unfurled her bush and she used it to fly!

Craig's Mom's Bush, Craig's Mom's Bush!

Gargantuan thicket of madness...

Bigger than Earth, and denser than gold,

Truly a magical bush to behold!

(whistling)

And she flew and she flew away into the sun...

And she died.

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That is... Mighty Boosh levels of weird. Have an up!

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That is... actually from the new season of South Park (S18E05 to be precise), which having watched the Book of Mormon a few times, I think Trey Parker and Matt Stone exceeds Mighty Boosh in levels of wierd.

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Anonymous Coward

Subheading of the week

Brillant. Try saying it quickly at 10.30 tonight!

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Anonymous Coward

soar away ... when it's getting to the good bits

I see what you did there.

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Anonymous Coward

Waldo

Its like the new Wheres Waldo, when does the book come out.....

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Facepalm

Even porn's gone to the dogs

...especially around the 2:12 mark...

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Anonymous Coward

droning bones?

boning drones?

I don't get it! :(

must be Fuckday...

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Anonymous Coward

I'm confused :(

I thought drones can hover and zoom and shit?

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Re: I'm confused :(

Yes, yes and no - in that order.

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10-9-8-7-6..........

Very tedious. However, weren't those old missile silos in one of the shots?

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Re: missle silos

yes-ish. If you are referring to the concrete structures where the couple are laying on their backs, those are old gun emplacements dating back to between the World Wars. Haven't seen the entire thing but the first half is all shot north of San Francisco. The gun emplacements are just north of and seaward of the Golden Gate Bridge. Neat area to tour. The guns guarded the harbor entrance which is now dominated by the bridge. After WWII, the guns were removed and SOME of the emplacements were converted to Surface-to-Air Missle launchers.

The wooded area in the article picture and at about the 1:11 mark appears to be Muir Woods. Farther north is wine country (Napa and/or Sonoma counties) as seen in the opening shots. As evidenced in the video, it's a truly beautiful area - with or without copulating humans.

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HCV

Re: missle silos

Specifically -- for science, geography, history, and all that -- they're at Battery Guthrie on Fort Barry, near Rodeo Lagoon.

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How dull

Three and a half minutes of my life I'll never get back... Should have just fapped instead.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: How dull

but what would you have done with the other two minutes.....?

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Re: How dull

You know, I like porn as much as the next guy, but this felt to me like the couples were photobombing otherwise perfectly good landscape sequences. Good gimmick, I suppose, though.

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Devil

Re: How dull

<voice=attenborough>

And so the camera pans across the magnificent hills, to the verdant, moist and welcoming valleys. The dappled sunlight of a warm afternoon giving everything a beautiful golden glow.

The dancing sunlight shimmers on the water. But as the camera pans back we can see that it's not water, but glass. In fact the window of a 2005 Ford Escort. And we see homo automobilus canus in his natural habitat, half naked, lying across the bonnet, in an Essex carpark, staring through the windows at what goes on inside.

</voice=attenborough>

And that was when the BBC's latest documentary 'The Dogging World' was cancelled.

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I realise some guys love their gadgets...

... but the images "drone boning“ conjure up, make paper cuts seem mild. What with those propeller blades and all.

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Paris Hilton

Re: I realise some guys love their gadgets...

Ah but you haven't known pleasure, until you've had it caught in a blade, lifted up, and stretched to a thousand feet long...

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Re: I realise some guys love their gadgets...

It's a (not so) sly take on the phrase "prone bone" meaning to (quoth UD) "The sex position in which the girl is laying flat (emphasis on laying completely flat) on her belly with penis entry from behind. This position often enables the female to work the muscles in the region resulting most likely in an overpleasurable time for the man involved, thus causing premature ejaculation." although Yours Truly doesn't require this position to experience PE...

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Angel

Re: I realise some guys love their gadgets...

"until you've had it caught in a blade, lifted up, and stretched to a thousand feet long..."

Yeah! You'll know what real pleasure is when the drone's batteries finally dry up!.

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Rule 34

That is all.

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Bah!

I haven't viewed this footage yet, but I am bewildered as to how the forces of Law and Public Decency were not alerted to this outrage by the aerial make-out music booming from the drone.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Bah!

You do know that movie studios can rent/lease public and private land to film, right? Didn't you see Crank? Did you think all of the people on the sidewalk were actually the general public?

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Pirate

Heh, heh, heh

As a native of the Golden State, one of its charms, visible in the video, is Poison Oak (Toxicodendron diversilobum). I've no problem with it myself, but irritating rashes and even, if it goes systemic, hospital stays are not unknown.

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Childcatcher

Brings to meaning to the use of "Ride of the Valkyries" in the soundtrack....

Sorry, Richard Wagner!!

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Unhappy

Oi

Now i'll have to wait until i'm off work to view....thanks

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3D printing

C'mon, do you really believe no one has 3D printed a dildo yet? I'm trying to think a new technology that couldn't be involved with porn in some way. 4K TVs - even higher res closeups (eeehhhhh....) Self driving cars - boning during the commute. Commercial spaceflight - zero gee boning!

I'd be more impressed if you could even think of a technology that doesn't have an application in this field.

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OK..

Hey come on, how am I suppose to make change to this, they're only like 4 or 5 pixels tall! (Actually, I haven't watched the video.)

But seriously... smart of them to do for marketing purposes at least. it certainly got a lot more exposure (heh, phrasing...) and probably higher market penetration (heh) than it would if it were conventionally filmed. Using regular filming, there are probably dozens or hundreds of "porno in the woods" (if indeed there's even anything pornographic happening here) and probably plenty of "nudes in the woods" otherwise, there wouldn't be anything to draw peoples attention to this video.

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T'would be nice to see the film, but the stuttering "stream" gave me a seizure...

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