back to article Disaster roster: OMG, are YOU SAFE? I dunno. Check Facebook

Your loved one has been kidnapped and is about to be killed by a horde of barbaric jihadis. What do you do? Click the "like" button, obviously. That bizarre situation could soon be one of the ways in which feckless Facebookers respond to disaster after the social network unveiled its new "safety check" feature. According to …

  1. Cipher
    Facepalm

    Ads?

    " whether it had considered selling targeted advertising to people known to be stuck in disaster zones"

    Replacing ads with emergency phone numbers for services, insurance agents, and general tips for the type of calamity would be better.

    Nah....

    1. Mark 85

      Re: Ads?

      Those bits of info would have to feature singing cats to get acceptance. So, you're right. Probably not gonna' happen. But, for a limited time, Farmville will be available at a reduced rate for those in the middle of the (fill-in disaster)....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ads?

        "We notice you're stuck, buried in a collapsed apartment block! How's your life insurance? Here's some policies to consider while you're here!"

        1. VinceH

          Re: Ads?

          ""We notice you're stuck, buried in a collapsed apartment block! How's your life insurance? Here's some policies to consider while you're here!"

          You might also like to consider purchasing this shovel. [Supplied by Amazon, delivered by UAV]

  2. PleebSmash

    checking in

    "According to Zuck's spin doctors, people don't rely on the police, UN or even the Thunderbirds when disaster strikes. No, no, no. They flock to Facebook."

    It's true though, just look at the social media response to the Fukushima tsunami. People "checked in" on Twitter, Facebook, etc.

    Retweeting the Fukushima Nuclear Radiation Disaster: "Twitter was an important social medium for distributing information to millions of people worldwide, including in Japan, with the Japanese government sharing emergency information, relief organizations sharing shelter information, and ordinary citizens posting news of their local situations."

    A Social Network for Emergency Notifications: "Yeah, you know, when we first started, we actually had that in mind, because we really noticed things like Twitter, things like Facebook. During the whole Japan earthquake tsunami crisis, there was a lot-and there's also another social network in Japan called Mixi. They really were leveraging that for information sharing and posting status updates of 'I'm safe' or 'Do you know where my sister, daughter, whatever is?'"

  3. AussieCanuck46
    Coat

    Here's a Thought

    Why doesn't every Facebook user simply update their status with whatever they're doing a few dozen times every day? That way when we notice they've stopped updating we'll know they're in trouble.

    1. SimonL

      Re: Here's a Thought

      "Why doesn't every Facebook user simply update their status with whatever they're doing a few dozen times every day? That way when we notice they've stopped updating we'll know they're in trouble."

      Because of the FB algorithm. You know, that social engineering they do.... ;-)

      If someone is posting regularly, FB will probably decide they are too happy or too boring and stop showing their statuses on your timeline. After all, FB are far better at deciding what we want to see on our timelines.....

    2. Tim Jenkins

      Re: Here's a Thought

      Presumably when you've finished twitching under a few tons of rubble (or the zombie horde has started to feed), your pulse-metering smartwatch will obligingly communicate with your FaceBurk App, updating your status to 'Deceased'...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Jasper, please correct this article.

    > one of the many dangerous places that don't have a wireless internet reception (like the ocean, a war zone or a British intercity train)?

    On the oceans and in war zones we do get internet access.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Jasper, please correct this article.

      Cell phone coverage to. My sister and I were exchanging e-mails during Gulf War I. (Me Navy, her up close and personal in the Army.) Crazy way to do a war. "Honey, I have to button up now. We've some tanks to kill. Luv ya."

  5. roblightbody

    Wouldn't it have been better for them to find a way to help people who are NOT OK?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Wouldn't it have been better for them to find a way to help people who are NOT OK?"

      Well they are tracking geo-location and phone activity - may they could team up with the NSA and the rest of the spooks and put some of their privacy invasive tech to good use instead.

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