back to article HUGE iPAD? Maybe. HUGE ADVERTS? That's for SURE

Apple is preparing to turn its relatively humble fondleslab into a monster hand advertising billboard. The fruity firm has opened up its new iAd platform to developers, giving them the ability to show full-screen adverts on the iPhone, iPad and any future devices that use Apple's iOS. These imposing corporate messages could …

Backlash

I'd hope that even the most coke-addled advertising execs would understand that the last thing anyone wants is full-screen ads.

Can't help thinking I could be crediting them with too much self-awareness.

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Unhappy

Re: Backlash

You're talking about the same people who brought us pop-up ads, wandering around flash ads and instant playing videos! They have no limit!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Backlash

"I'd hope that even the most coke-addled advertising execs would understand that the last thing anyone wants is full-screen ads."

I'm sure they know, they just don't care. If they figure out that it'll sell one more item of tat, regardless of how many people are annoyed in the process, they'll go for it.

They are to adverts what "Talkie Toaster" is to toast. :-/

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Re: Backlash

quote: "I'd hope that even the most coke-addled advertising execs would understand that the last thing anyone wants is full-screen ads."

You're thinking like the product, not the customer. The first thing the customer wants is full screen, unskippable ads which you cannot mute, and which preferentially force the product to interact with them to ensure the message is received. The product should not be given the choice to avoid them, it defeats the object of advertising at them. Especially when you've gone to the trouble of datamining them to select advertising that they will find interesting.

Just look at the amount of websites that deliberately fail to work until you allow Javascript from multiple sites to run (so they can track you while they advertise at you), or services that require you to accept draconian surveillance of your activities to use them (so you can look at cat videos or your friend's baby pictures). The public are the last people that advertising execs pay any attention to.

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Re: Backlash

"They are to adverts what "Talkie Toaster" is to toast. :-/"

Well, it is their Raisin d'être after all.

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Unhappy

Re: Backlash

I have never found a use for a tablet which possibly makes me the odd one out. I do not care who makes the thing I can see no point, but now Apple have come up with a killer application to ensure I will never want one, at least one that has access to this 'feature'.

Who on earth would want this other than as a single purpose odd ball deployment in a bizarre environment?

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Re: Backlash

The ad industry is in a bit of a crisis, because we all block browser adds, fast forward through the TV ones, don't read paper magazines etc. I guess it all started when TV remote controls came out.

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Anonymous Coward

"12.9-inch iPad? Maybe."

Think the last word there says it all - all guesses.

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"We'll never make a 7" tablet" - Steve Jobs

iPad Mini with Retina Display

Anything is possible :)

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Apple didn't make a 7 inch tablet, they made a 7.9 inch tablet - do the rounding and you've got 8 inches.

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Gold badge

do the rounding and you've got 8 inches.

That's what I keep telling my wife..

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More Wall-e than terminator

Isn't the more likely dystopian future one where humans are just amorphous blobs being told to buy things that they don't need.

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Re: More Wall-e than terminator

"dystopian future"?

Don't you mean "dystopian present"?

Wall-e was about today.. don't know how they managed to sneak that one through the pipeline.

Time to re-watch Fight Club methinks.

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Anonymous Coward

iAds?

Wow, I really misread that first time.

Everyone has iAds!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6szE_qmzavQ

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Re: iAds?

Don't die of dyslexia...

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Coat

Re: iAds?

Dyslexia....the word in itself is a test that you may have it.

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Adverts.....

Is this it? Is this what we have become; advertising fodder ?

I'm pretty sure I do not want any Apple thing, but if this is correct, I want one even less now.

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Re: Adverts.....

I guess you would go for a Google thing then.

You do know what Google's business is based on, do you?

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Re: Adverts.....

I do indeed.

Which is why, no, I don't have an Android thing.

Mobile is Jolla, searcg engine is DuckDuck. Computer is Linux / Ubuntu.

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Terminator

Re: Adverts.....

4 down votes for pointing out Google's core business model?

The Googlebots must have this site targeted....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Piloti...

...Attitude is smug and sanctimonious, with an air of cheap.

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Re: Adverts.....

do indeed.

Which is why, no, I don't have an Android thing.

Mobile is Jolla, searcg engine is DuckDuck. Computer is Linux / Ubuntu.

home, mom's basement

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Re: Adverts.....

You could get a surface, they already have full screen video ads (both the MS solitaire and weather app have them for example).

I wonder who has the patent for full screen video ads on a mobile device.

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Re: Adverts.....

"I want one even less now."

But it's really, really shiny!

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Trollface

Think of how much money you could spend on getting the 'premium' feel for your mobile iAdvertising billboard.......iUsers must be drooling at the thought.

Personally, i'll be sticking with 'droid, root and Adaway.

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Anonymous Coward

@ 20legend; "Personally, i'll be sticking with 'droid, root and Adaway."

Ah yes... 'Adaway. 'E had zat great song, did he not?

"What eez love. Baby don't hurt me, baby don't hurt me, no more..."

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iOS / OS X hybrid

I think a tablet / hybrid which can run both iOS and OS X software could be a major seller for Apple assuming they can work out the experience properly.

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Holmes

It looks like you're waiting for a App to load...

...in the meantime, here is a word from our sponsors.

I'm guessing that Apple reckon people will tend to blame this on the app rather than Apple.

But then, if free apps turn into a grinding bore for users who then turn to paid versions, what's for Apple shareholders not to like?

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Kindle lock-screen ads weren't too bad.

Wouldn't mind if it's like the Kindle where you can gain an extra feature/save a bit of money by letting them have a full-screen advert as your lock-screen.

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Terminator 2

You don't know your movie scripts!

Terminator 2 - Judgement Day- has Arnie as a Terminator sent back to protect John Connor (Edward Furlong). A second, more advanced terminator (Robert Patrick) is sent back to thwart his efforts (and kill John Connor). Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) is in a psychiatric hospital after her encounters in the first episode- and John insists on Arnie helping him release her, before going on the run........

The more advanced terminator (Robert Patrick) was not sent back to kill Arnie (also a terminator, albeit an older model)- it was sent back to kill John Connor.........

After my recent Starwars marathon- I feel a Terminator Marathon coming on this weekend........

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Terminator 2

"The more advanced terminator (Robert Patrick) was not sent back to kill Arnie (also a terminator, albeit an older model)- it was sent back to kill John Connor........."

If T2 had come out in today's shiny-tech-obsessed society, John Connor wouldn't have lasted five minutes, as he'd be too embarrassed to be seen with the older, less-advanced Terminator model, going instead with the latest T-1000 with LiquidMetal Stab-in-the-Face (TM) technology.

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Anonymous Coward

I'm going to become rich and famous

"Terminator 2"-style "LiquidMetal" coupled with an Internet-connected iPad display suggests that "HatfulOfHollow's" dream may eventually come true...

http://bash.org/?4281

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"Now you can deliver highly engaging ads ..."

Ah, another adberg on the horizon. Thank you for the warning.

I will steer well clear of this iThingy.

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Re: "Now you can deliver highly engaging ads ..."

The ads perhaps won't be quite as engaging as the advertisers want if consumers tick that privacy option in iOS that limits ad tracking. I can't think of any sane person who would leave that option unselected.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "Now you can deliver highly engaging ads ..."

I think I accidentally left that option on on my Android. Drove to the tyre centre, got 2 new tires for the car. The next thing is it advertises tires in the browser banner adds.I'd left it in the boot. It must have picked up a nearby or store wifi or mac address. From there it's an easy guess at what I was buying.

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Re: "Now you can deliver highly engaging ads ..."

"that privacy option in iOS that limits ad tracking."

You mean like "do not track"? Fat lot of difference that made.

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Gold badge

Re: "Now you can deliver highly engaging ads ..."

The ads perhaps won't be quite as engaging as the advertisers want if consumers tick that privacy option in iOS that limits ad tracking. I can't think of any sane person who would leave that option unselected.

But it defaults to "on", of course, so you have to be motivated enough to find it. And reset your Ad ID regularly.

Still, this doesn't have to mean iOS will be suddenly ad saturated - there are also companies that use flat screens of any size as ad displays, I presume this is an attempt to get a fat slice of that market (as you can hook up any tablet to a big screen in various ways). I have been wondering for years why there are no (yes, zero) LCD photo frames that can load images from a network drive so I can change them every so often (or use them as system status display). Now I know..

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Are They Trying To Cripple Sales?

I have yet to find a use for a tablet so do not accuse me of any pro this or anti that bias. However, the idea of being lumbered with full screen adverts on a device for which I have yet to find a use makes me think this is aimed at a very odd market segment to which I have no, make that absolutely no relationship - whom-so-ever launches such a defective device.

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Anonymous Coward

Huge ads or just a Humongous Wait ?

I heard IOS 8 was introducing 'up to' 60 second ads that you get to see before your favourite apps load.

As we know with the iPhone 4, now known to some as having the 'iSlow 7 OS' there is no such thing as a free lunch. I'd suggest waiting 6 months before upgrading to see how IOS 8 goes.

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liquid metal sim retractor

what a great boon to the world.

or, you know, use a fucking paperclip. dicks.

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iRIM

It's why we don't do BYOD here.

- Supervisor - "why did it take 3 hours to get that information I needed?"

- Worker Bee - " Well my iMate had to down load 3 updates one OS patch, one security definition, and 19 app updates, and on each restart there was a 60 second ad I couldn't get past. My ePad was real slow because with the new security patch it was running a full scan and the two sites I went to get that info made me sign up to stop ads from coming up every 5min. I immediately got 13 emails from a hell-spot of vendors, which I sniffed out were all trying to sell me access to same information which I just assigned to... and it took me forever to swim thru the maze of seemingly appropriate content to find the security code the original company sent. At that point I had to register my iTele and wait for them to...

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Full screen ads?

I've already got them on a couple apps I use regularly, I guess they must not be using iAd? I'd be more concerned about this if it hadn't already been happening for a while.

I just hope the app writers realize that if I see more than a simple full page ad that comes up only at startup time and can be quickly dismissed, I'm going to be scouring the App Store looking for alternatives about 1.5 seconds after the ad fills my screen!

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Ho, Hum - Just more of the daily Apple Tosh we have to put up with

This is Apple PR's way of keeping the name in the public eye.

What's an upgrade in an iThingy is a standard offering in the competition.

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Re: Ho, Hum - Just more of the daily Apple Tosh we have to put up with

Really, releasing developer info is "Apple PR"?

So I guess if Google released a new Maps API, or MS releases specs for the next version of DirectX, it is all about the PR?

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Dull sounding patents?

What's the correlation between how dull a patent sounds (to the uninitiated) and how far-reaching it's real impact? That might be a good subject for a patent ...

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Anonymous Coward

Future revenue stream?

Perhaps it's all a cunning way to get $$$ from everyone. Either put up with the ads and live a miserable existence, or cough up $$$ (probably "annually") to remove said ads feature. Cunning eh? Make something that everyone wants, that when they get annoys them to death so they cough up more money to get the something that they wanted in the first place and owned before it was "improved" back? :)

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Isn't "Liquid Metal" toxic? Mercury definitely is Gallium is less toxic, but still toxic, nonetheless. I don't think Apple wants to take on the tree huggers on this one...

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Anonymous Coward

Dear iOS App Writers...

If you use these full screen ads, or indeed any ads, in your apps, I will delete your app, give you a 1 star review explaining why in very clear terms so others can avoid your products, and I will go for a refund from the iTunes Store (yes, it is possible).

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Lost the plot

If I wanted entertainment punctuated by ads, I'd watch TV. We use computers to escape such things.

Herein lies the problem of locked down tablets. With a general purpose pc we can ignore and block pop-ups and their ilk. With tablets the user relies on the vendor to do the right thing.

The local server+tablet always beats vendor-cloud+tablet. There's no WAN and its all under my control. It comes down to the usual: planning makes the experience better. Setting your PVR to record then play back on a tablet beats catch-up TV. You local linux distribution gives you a heap of free games without any adverts at all. I can never understand why people pay or will watch adverts, for solitaire.

What? You want me to pay for an X server on iOS? That's more than I paid for an entire linux distro on 5 computers. I think I'll stick with WebOS thanks.

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patent

I thought the "continuous amorphous feedstock skull melting" patent referred to the iAds.

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