back to article Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

Warbling '70s pop sensation Kate Bush has urged fans not to take photos and video footage during her upcoming London gigs, which will be the singer's first live tour in 35 years. The shows at the Hammersmith Apollo kick off next week, but Bush is already fretting about poorly captured images of her concert appearances being …

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  1. Stuart Halliday
    Boffin

    Kate should put up some Infrared lights on stage. The audience won't see them. But all the cameras will! :)

    1. Cliff

      Good idea - does it work? Aren't there IR filters on the lenses? Either way it won't stop the idiots though. People are so used to being removed from the experience and seeing it through a 4" screen that they stand at the front and ruin the original experience for everyone else. It's a real real problem for artists.

      Crappy shaky mobile footage is horrible to watch and sounds dreadful, but worse than that, it beaks the artists connection with the audience. They need that connection in order to give you a good show and put their best out.

      Irony is many concerts or tours are filmed for TV/DVD and the quality difference from having a professionally filmed 20 camera, brilliant angles, brilliant audio production vs mobile phone is complete. Yet those mobiles detract from the proper production with the horrid wall of white rectangles (some even in portrait ffs).

      1. dan1980

        @Cliff

        I appreciate the argument but the artists are getting paid for this so I'm somewhat less concerned for them. On the other hand, I'm paying for a ticket and those fuckers are a 'real real problem' for me!

        I applaud Ms Bush's request and the polite wording of it. I would be even more impressed if she added that it ruins the experience for all the other people, who might just want to watch the show rather than someone's phone.

        Waving around those fucking glowing rectangles is the the very definition of selfish - those doing it are inconveniencing and annoying everyone else and detracting from the experience for the sake of their own, individual, wants.

        1. Natalie Gritpants

          @dan1980

          Agreed, silly string is the best weapon. Short bursts so you can't be traced.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: @dan1980

            Agreed, silly string is the best weapon. Short bursts so you can't be traced.

            Hmm, paintball? Also engages the people nearby as they risk getting splattered.. Having said that, I hate crowd control - it would be so much better if we could rely on people using common sense.

            Ah, yes.. OK, I'll get the paintballs.

          2. JetSetJim Silver badge

            Re: @dan1980

            > Agreed, silly string is the best weapon. Short bursts so you can't be traced.

            Or pennies - test out that gorilla glass...

        2. Cliff

          @Dan

          Yeah, the artist is getting paid, but also they are getting paid to give the audience the best show they can, and they can't do that with an audience that doesn't engage. I completely agree that it is shit for the fans, but it's shit twice over with the white rectangles and less engaged performance.

        3. NogginTheNog
          Thumb Up

          Ryan Adams

          I saw Ryan Adams (solo) in concert a couple of years ago and there were signs up before the show, and he asked at the start, that people turn off their phones and not film the gig. Even a couple of muppets did so, and IIRC he stopped the show and remonstrated with them.

          Good fella!

      2. DrGoon

        There are IR (hot) filters in most digital cameras, however in most cases they are fairly weak and designed to block the levels of near visible IR light expected in the environment. Shining an intense IR beam at a camera fitted with a typical filter will still cause enough glare to effectively defeat it. We can expect few people without photo passes to be bringing in full sized SLRs with strong hot filters and the ability to adjust exposure compensation, so bathing the audience in a wash of intense IR light for a couple of hours should work. The lawsuits for retinal burns and corneal ulcers may be unwelcome however.

    2. Ralph B

      Actually, Kate should record all her own concerts and sell CDs / DVDs / memory sticks / download codes of the concert to the audience as they exit.

      1. Cliff

        >>Actually, Kate should record all her own concerts and sell CDs / DVDs / memory sticks / download codes of the concert to the audience as they exit.<<

        Probably does already. Doesn't change a thing from the screen staring 'fans'.

        Fwiw, those downloads/mp3 players/etc - to be worth having you have to have a second mix of it, you can't use the FoH mix as it's totally different. If you've ever heard your favourite artist recorded directly from the FoH desk, it sounds dreadful as it's mixed for the PA in the venue, and had no audience reaction/crowd noise. To do it properly you need to do an entirely separate mix, and have the infrastructure to burn discs/USB sticks/etc in the time it takes for the gig to end and punters to leave (to catch the impulse buy). Or at least the bit before the encore, with the encore available as a later download.

        Video/DVD of the show - same, only with extra angles needed beyond the IMAG mix (wides, reaction shots etc) plus the audio mix plus the extra data sizes making it near impossible at the moment.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Sorry Cliff, but that's nonsense.

          If a band/singer/"artist" can't get past someone holding a phone, in the audience, even the entire audience holding a phone, then they seriously need to have a word with themselves.

          Fans have been jumping on stage, stage diving, etc etc for generations, throwing things from the crowd, shouting. But "artists" can't deal with someone holding up a 5 inch square, with a bit of light on it? Despite all the other lights in the venue?

          Pull the other one, it's got bells on.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            You arsehole. It's not about the artists. It's about the rest of the audience who don't want to look at your fucking mobile phone.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              "You arsehole. It's not about the artists. It's about the rest of the audience who don't want to look at your fucking mobile phone."

              I go to A LOT of gigs. I don't take photos on my phone, usually. I know other people do. D'you know what I do? I watch the gig, not the phones. Know why? Because it's much bigger, than someone's arm, or phone.

              I was responding to Cliff's point about the artist not being able to engage with an audience, if people hold up phones. Which I thought was more interesting, but a bit mental.

              If someone's getting in my way at gigs, know what I do? I go have a word with them. I don't whine about it on an IT tech news site, from an anonymous account.

              1. Graham Marsden
                Facepalm

                @AC "I don't whine about it on an IT tech news site, from an anonymous account."

                I think another Irony Detector has just exploded...

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: @AC "I don't whine about it on an IT tech news site, from an anonymous account."

                  "I think another Irony Detector has just exploded..."

                  Yes, replying to someone calling you an "arsehole" because they're too chickenshit to talk to someone at a gig is "whining", isn't it?

                  Granted, i'm also using an anonymous account, but that's for work location reasons, rather than because I imagine the best way to address this issue is to post to an IT forum about it ...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      We have purposefully chosen an intimate theatre setting rather than a large venue or stadium.

      ............because we don't have a hope in hell of filling anything larger.

      1. Professor Clifton Shallot

        Re: We have purposefully chosen an intimate theatre setting rather than a large venue or stadium.

        "we don't have a hope in hell of filling anything larger"

        She sold the place out for 22 nights in 15 minutes (and tickets were not cheap).

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: We have purposefully chosen an intimate theatre setting rather than a large venue or stadium.

          I like Japanese concerts, you just get kicked out for having recording devices.

          Prepare the glow sticks though.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What is needed is to combine this:

      http://shop.spy-spot.com/wired-wireless-hidden-spy-camera-lens-detector-finder.html

      with this:

      http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/records-11000/most-powerful-laser-weapon/

      Mu-hahahahahaha. I'll be in my volcano lair.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Can an iPhone battery last for a two hour concert? All I see is huddled masses by the walls and in the bathrooms with their white cords plugged into the few accessible sockets.

  2. Joe 48

    Its not just Kate Bush

    My local strip club has the same rules.... Apparently... So my mate tells me....

    1. Tsiklon
      Coat

      Re: Its not just Kate Bush

      well its to stop you taking photos of Kate's er... bush...

      1. VinceH Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Its not just Kate Bush

        So how do you know there's someone called Kate working at his local strip club?

        1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

          Re: Its not just Kate Bush

          So how do you know there's someone still with a bush working at his local strip club?

  3. Big_Boomer

    Flash

    Worse still many feckless ****heads leave the flash switched on despite the fact that the maximum range of most flashes is 20 feet or so. Stupid morons ruin the show for the rest of us.

    As for the lighters, nobody smokes any more,... hence no lighters. Besides, if you lit one at a gig undoubtedly some health and safety nazi would command you to extinguish it immediately under rule 47 section C sub-paragraph a14,......

    1. Chris Holford
      Facepalm

      Re: Flash

      'feckless ****heads' -do you remember the scene in Cornwall when there was an eclipse of the sun a few years ago? Hundreds of 'feckless ****heads' were taking photo's WITH FLASH during totality!

      1. khisanth

        Re: Flash

        I suspect they had their cameras on auto flash. It was actually cool watching the flashes ripple down the coastline

        1. Chika

          Re: Flash

          If you've ever seen some of the footage of live J-Pop concerts, they tend to use those disposable light sticks instead.

      2. MrXavia

        Re: Flash

        Most people are too thick to know how to turn off the flash....

        But then again, taking photos of anything important with a phone is stupid, they are handy for spur of the moment shots, but that is about it... they are terrible in low light... they are terrible without the flash.. they are slow to respond...

        1. MacroRodent Silver badge

          Re: Flash

          "Most people are too thick to know how to turn off the flash...."

          Reminds me... back in the 1980's Kodak tried to push disk-format film camera: A cartridge held tiny negatives arranged around a wheel. At some point I bough one at a flea market out of curiosity, and exposed a few disks. The camera was rather stylish (not unlike in appearance to some compact digital cameras decades later, in fact I suspect it would be mistaken for one today), but clearly it was meant for "too thick" people; There was absolutely nothing to adjust. And getting to the point: The camera had a built-in flash that always fired. No way to turn it off! The flash and other functions of the camera (automatic exposure and film transport) were powered by a battery that was not user-replaceable, and did not need any replacing at least during the time I used the camera.

          (The image quality was rather grainy, because the negatives are about the size of a Super-8 film frame. Now I'm wondering how to best scan them... My flat-bed scanner does not have enough resolution, and there is no way to crunch the disk into the film scanner.)

          1. TheProf

            Scanning Photodisk

            Full frame camera with a macro lens. It won't be cheap.

            1. MacroRodent Silver badge

              Re: Scanning Photodisk

              "Full frame camera with a macro lens. It won't be cheap."

              Yes, something like that. Or just any kind of digital camera that can take macro shots. The disk negatives probably have less than 5mpx worth of image information. The negative is just 11x8 mm. Too bad my current Canon compact camera (SX230HS) cannot focus that close.

          2. Graham Marsden

            @MacroRodent - Re: " there is no way to crunch the disk into the film scanner"

            Does your scanner have an attachment to allow you to scan Slides? If so, you can cut the negatives off the disc and then create a "frame" to hold them in the slide attachment.

          3. Fluffy Bunny
            Devil

            Re: Flash

            Better not to try to scan those negatives. I had one once too and once printed, you could see how low quality they are.

            Only for the most desperate.

    2. Spiracle

      Re: Flash

      As for the lighters, nobody smokes any more,... hence no lighters. Besides, if you lit one at a gig undoubtedly some health and safety nazi would command you to extinguish it immediately under rule 47 section C sub-paragraph a14,......

      Virtual Zippo® Lighter

      Problem solved.

      1. Tim Bates

        Re: Lighter apps

        Pfft... The real geeky kids were waving animated flames on Windows Mobile and Symbian devices before Apple and Google even thought about making smartphones cool.

    3. BongoJoe

      Re: Flash

      Ah, but you know you can get an app for the phone which displays a lighter on the screen?

    4. phuzz Silver badge

      Re: Flash

      At the last few gigs at the O2 in Bristol* that I've been to the bouncers have taken to shining torches at anyone recording with the flash on, and then going to have a word if the punter doesn't notice.

      Mind you, they had never managed to catch the guy having a crafty spliff in the middle of the crowd last time I was there.

      * not a particularly good venue, but it gets the big bands, so...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Flash

        Good for them. But they should change the torches for laser pointers. Or just drag them out of the venue. they'd probably get a round of applause.

        1. lawndart

          Re: Flash

          "Little light,

          Will guide them to me."

          1. Killing Time

            Re: Flash

            Nice lyric reference........ 'And Dream Of Sheep'?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Other phones are available

    Dear Kate,

    As much as I have liked your wailing in the past, please be aware that devices powered by the mighty Android outnumber the Apple species and really deserves to be mentioned by your good self.

    If you don't I have to wonder if Google will simply delete all of your seach hits in retaliation?

    Yours

    Grumpy old git who is taking his grandaughter to your gig in the faint hope of introducing her to something better than Lost Direction.

    1. MacroRodent Silver badge

      Re: Other phones are available

      It's not just Kate. I have noticed many other people seem to use iPhone as a synonym for a smartphone, or indeed any mobile phone. Oh well, sign of the times. I remember when "Nokia" was misused the same way.

      (Wish I could be there).

      1. dan1980

        Re: Other phones are available

        @MacroRodent

        The Register was much the same in their recent article about Old Trafford banning 'iPads'.

        I can see the economy in labelling a ball point pen a 'biro' or replacing 'search the Internet' with 'Google it' (even if I don't approve) but replacing 'tablet' with 'iPad' seems entirely without point.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Other phones are available

          "but replacing 'tablet' with 'iPad' seems entirely without point."

          But what kind of tablet? Anti-Histamine? Birth Control? Stone? Computer? International Catholic weekly newspaper? Roman writing tablets?

          PS Google search on the term "tablet" is skewed massively in the direction of "tablet computer" I was expecting all sorts of Canadian "pharmacies" to be listed :-)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Other phones are available

      Dear Grumpy

      I'm well aware of Android. It's just that I keep abreast of things and fully know the iPhone remains, by a long way the most popular single handset and brand. It also has the highest satisfaction ratings. If I choose to make the Health-cliff App I've been planning, statistics show I'm likely to make twice as much from it as if I make the same app and put it in the Google Play store (actually 4 times the revenue when measured per active user). Plus most of the people who come to my concerts are middle class and from the UK, US or Japan and have greater income levels than most buyers in developing economies. Amongst this group the iPhone's iOS is by far the more popular platform. On average they are also better educated and younger. It is my desire to appeal to a new generation so this also informs my choice. Lastly many If not most of the world's Android users aren't even aware they are using Android because they weren't particularly paying attention when they decided to buy a phone.

      So please don't assume I made a thoughtless comment.

      Yours truly,

      Kate

      1. Joe 48

        Re: Other phones are available

        Dear Kate,

        As much as I disagree, I did chuckle.

        Yours truly,

        Sundar Pichai

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Kate Re: Other phones are available

        I am in love L-U-V!

      3. 's water music Silver badge

        Re: Other phones are available

        upvoted AC message from Kate for significantly more creative phone-platform trolling post than is usual for these parts.

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