back to article LOHAN acquires aircraft arboreal avoidance algorithm acronyms

We invite readers to raise a glass or two today to autopilot wrangler Linus Penzlien, who touched down in Spain yesterday afternoon ahead of an intensive week of Vulture 2 spaceplane Pixhawk custom parameter programming and testing. And here is the man himself meeting local lass Ruperta this morning ahead of an intensive …

Page:

  1. joeW

    Digital Impact Limitation for Deciduous Obstacles

  2. Marcus Aurelius

    I don't mean to be critical but

    As far as I can tell the earliest LOHAN proposals date from 2011. Couldn't you get a real lander on the moon in this sort of timeframe?

  3. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  4. Ben Bonsall

    Truss In Tree Will Always Necessitate Krane. :(

  5. Simon Rockman

    It's not just LOHAN

    Trees attract kites too. I used to work in a kite shop and saw a number of mangled kites on a regular basis.

    1. GrumpyOF

      Re: It's not just LOHAN

      I am sure that something from Peanuts is applicable here:

      http://www.peanuts.com/search/?pubdate=&sort_by=bydate&seasonal=&startdate=&enddate=&selectcharacter=&keyword=kite+eating+tree&type=comic_strips#.U-imIlerZTt

  6. ukgnome Silver badge

    Bypass Arbour Protective System

  7. Anomalous Cowturd
    Boffin

    BRASTRAP and...

    Penzlien's Automated Nearby Tree Intelligent Evasion System.

    1. Anomalous Cowturd

      Re: BRASTRAP and...

      Near Instantaneous Patent Pending Limb Evasion System...

    2. Ben Bonsall

      Re: BRASTRAP and...

      After it fails to spot something and gets updated, it can be called

      Newly Optimized PANTIES

      or even

      PANTI Extended Location/Evasion/Swerving System

  8. GregC

    Not necessarily on a LOHAN theme...

    ...but in honour of a much loved TV show that I've just been watching again

    Imminent Tree Collision Remediation On Woodland Detection

  9. lawndart

    offers:

    As my last attempt at an acronym resulted with being mentioned in despatches for rudeness I offer

    LARCH

    Lohan Arborial Repulsion Code Hack.

    Presumably Ruperta converts everything into assembly language?

    1. AdamT

      Re: offers:

      +1 for (The) LARCH

      minor modification?

      Lohan Arborial Repulsion Coded Heuristic

      and of course it has to have a function called HowToRecogniseATreeFromQuiteALongWayAway(...)

  10. Miss Config
    Holmes

    LINUS Penzlien ?

    Just to be 100% clear his name is NOT Linux.

  11. Barely registers

    GOT WOOD

    Gets Out The Way Of Obstructive Deciduousness.

    /contrived

  12. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    I wouldn't have hoped that any modern flying vehicle would be equipped with a

    Reinforced Arboreal Detection And Repulsion system.

    Sorry, I know it's polite, but I'm in work...

  13. dotdavid

    In the spirit of sowing confusion about El Reg's spaceplane projects...

    Professional Arboreal Reverse Interception System

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Between the Obstacles Navigation Kit

  15. Dr. Mouse Silver badge

    Oi Loikes, ARMADILLOs!

  16. Paul_Murphy

    My suggestions so far

    Safe Landing Under Trees System

    High Altitude Rentry Detect Correct Or Reject Emergency Software EXample

    Careful And Methodical Extraneous Local Tree Observation Engine

    1. Ugotta B. Kiddingme
      Pint

      Re: My suggestions so far

      +1 for CAMELTOE

      1. Terrence Bayrock

        Re: My suggestions so far

        +2 for CAMELTOE

  17. lawndart

    says

    Small Program Usually Reduces Tree Impacts Near Ground

  18. Come to the Dark Side

    Seeing as it's "under the skirts" of LOHAN...

    Trees and Woodland Avoidance Technology

    1. Pet Peeve

      Rude, yet perfect.

  19. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge
    Coat

    Tree Impending Time To Impact Evaluation System

    to be partnered with Branch Entry Evasion Rig

  20. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    or...

    In the spirit of the plucky Playmonaut's thought processes in those last few metres:

    ¡Automated Yet Comprehensive Arboreal Recognition And Magnetic Branch Avoidance!

    ¡Ay Caramba!

  21. Anonymous Cowerd

    TASK

    Tree Avoidance Survival Kit

    Not very racy, I know.

  22. Ben Bonsall

    Leaf And Branch Incursion Avoidance

  23. VinceH Silver badge

    Arboreal Recognition and Evasion System.

    Yes, I know the E and S are the wrong way around. It's Monday, and I'm still tired.

    Arboreal Recognition and System for Evasion just doesn't quite work.

    1. Soap Distant
      Pint

      VinceH I think we got hit by the same inspiration particle!

      1. richardcox13
        Thumb Up

        > VinceH I think we got hit by the same inspiration particle!

        Clearly some form of particle cloning going on, because it seems to be bouncing around here as well!

        However, in proper abbreviation creation mode I reverse the last two words:

        Arboreal Recognition System for Evasion.

    2. Marcus Aurelius

      Arboreal Recognition System for Evasion does though...

      As long as we know our ARSE from our ELBOW

    3. Dr. Mouse Silver badge

      Yes, I know the E and S are the wrong way around.

      "Arboreal Recognition System for Evasion" works

  24. Soap Distant

    ...

    Arboreal Reconnaisance and Survival Engine

    SD

  25. Colin Miller

    The Advanced Recognisance and Avoidance Pattern for Trees - aka Tara P-T (Palmer-Tomkinson)

  26. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    In all this ar(se)boreal excitment....

    ...I do hope the ELBOW, Evasion of Large Body Of Water hasn't been forgotten.

    RiP Playmonaut hero.

  27. lawndart

    says (again)

    Lohan Upgrade Spots Trees

    Re-entry Utility Program Enables Rapid Tree Avoidance

    Geomagnetic Tree Avoidance Variant (Laurel, Ash, Chestnut, Elm, Yew, Juniper, Oak, Now As Standard)

    Magnetic Anomaly Detector Brings Inspired Tree Collision Hack.

  28. Anonymous Cowerd

    Branch Avoidance Positional System

  29. Kevin Johnston Silver badge

    Whatever the final name,

    just keep taking the Tree/Air Boundary Location/Evasion Tactics

  30. TRT Silver badge

    How about...

    Dendrifugion Routine (Autonomous Guidance)

    Part of the

    Flight Library (Autonomous Guidance) System

    Incorporating

    Soft Landing (Autonomous Guidance)

    Ballocket Launch (Autonomous Guidance)

  31. breakfast

    Nominative determinism

    Would PARIS have even had that name if it wasn't for a strong relationship with wood? Perhaps some things are so utterly inevitable there is no point fighting them.

    Failing that:

    Collision Rerouting Autopilot System Heuristic

    Ballocket Undercarriage Safety Harness

  32. paulc

    B.A.R.E.-A.S.S

    Branch

    And

    Root

    Evasion

    -

    Automatic

    Steering

    System

  33. Zash

    TITS: To Improve Tree Shirking

  34. Mike Moyle Silver badge

    NUTS

    Nowt Up Trees System

  35. mike2R

    AREOLA

    Airborne Realtime Emergency Orthogonal Log Avoidance

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    THONG

    Tree

    Height

    Obstacle

    Navigation

    Gizmo

  37. TRT Silver badge

    Vegetation

    Avoiding

    Guidance

    Inclusion for

    Navigation

    Autopilot

  38. Captain DaFt

    TATAS

    Technical Avionics Tree Avoidance System

  39. startrex

    STARS - Steer True and Return Safe

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019