back to article It's Google HQ - the British one: Reg man snaps covert shots INSIDE London offices

It’s not every day that El Reg gets invited to Google UK’s London HQ, so we thought we’d take a few snaps to remember the occasion. That’s not to say we haven’t been here before, back in March 2012 we were in the very same place, only Google hadn’t moved in yet as the offices were still being fitted out. Google UK reception …

  1. Doogie Howser MD

    Android L == Android Lego?

    Suppose it would make a change from Android <insert food item here> and also means another multi product tie up, a la KitKat?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sigh......

    and here I am staring at white walls, light grey desks and dark blue carpets.....and they wonder why we fucking hate the place.

    1. Xpositor

      Re: Sigh......

      Well, if you must work from home...

    2. king of foo

      Re: Sigh......

      We have

      Cheap and nasty migraine inducing fluorescent lighting.

      Gloss open plan desks to reflect said light directly into your eyeballs.

      Those blue swivel office chairs everyone hates.

      White walls.

      Cheap and nasty diarrhoea brown coffee (or is it blood) stained carpet tiles.

      Windows that don't open.

      Air con that is either too humid, too dry, or, strangely, heating...

      A big patch of grass outside that someone decided should be left to grow into some kind of idyllic nature jungle. It looks like a heroin addict's garden.

      ...but we have a fake Starbucks that does good coffee

      1. tony2heads

        Re: Sigh......

        At least you don't have a bathtub in reception.

        1. Ol'Peculier
          Thumb Up

          Re: Sigh......

          If you are wanting rid of said bathtub, I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands (although, apparently, it's insanely heavy)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sigh......

      You have Blue carpets!?!?!? Luxery! I think ours were whiteish at some point in the distant past... Now they're the colour of an old smoker's teeth.

      1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

        Re: Sigh......

        Cubical Green Carpets here

  3. Dabooka Silver badge
    Happy

    At least it supports their assertations....

    that no actual work goes on in London therefore no tax is liable as it's not a business, not at all, no siree. Or is it Siri?

    Either way looks a nice place to hang let alone work.

  4. RyokuMas Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    "While we'd imagined we'd give tissue samples here – with the results being used to profile us for meds and robotic transplants Google can sell you in the coming years"

    Nah, they want to brainwash us to accept Google glass first

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did they show you the room that contains the souls of all the grandmothers that have been sold to Google in order to obtain 'free' services?

  6. Annoyed Grunt

    The office sign is already broken. Maybe a NSA back door...

  7. LucreLout Silver badge

    If only...

    Google needed overweight, over paid, dot net programmers.

  8. VinceH Silver badge

    "While we'd imagined we'd give tissue samples here"

    They probably did that surreptitiously at some point, and will be dragged through the courts at some point in the future with the defence that it was a rogue engineer that added tissue sampling to that door handle (which, naturally, is a part of the Internet of Pointless Things).

  9. thomas k.
    Thumb Down

    those ... sofas?

    Those wooden, S-shaped sofa thingies, with no backrests? Accidents waiting to happen, I'd wager.

    WTF is wrong with people?

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge
      Megaphone

      Re: those ... sofas?

      Those UI designers have do do something else with their time between UI refreshes.

    2. Natalie Gritpants

      Re: those ... sofas?

      Those are polished turds.

      1. Khaptain Silver badge

        Re: those ... sofas?

        Then it must have been the same team that developed W8.

        1. Michael Thibault
          Trollface

          Re: those ... sofas ... seem ... well-polished

          >...the same team that developed W8

          Nah. Dogfooding is big at Google! And Android is (based on) open source, isn't it? There's your answer, right there.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: those ... sofas?

      Wooden?

      Look like they're springy, upholstered in leather to me.

      Perfect for lying face down on with arms and legs dangling on either side.

      1. Paul Crawford Silver badge
        Gimp

        Re: "lying face down on with arms and legs dangling"

        Now where has my spanking paddle gone?

    4. sjsmoto

      Re: those ... sofas?

      No, it looks like that's where the Boston Dynamics Big Dog relieves itself.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Babbage and Turing. Not to mention

    Flowers, Newman, Blackett, Hartree...

    oh, they didn't.

  11. Otto is a bear.

    IT since the 1990s

    The City bought it, mismanaged it, and then sold it, because it was too hard, and not profitable enough.

  12. All names Taken
    Alien

    It behooves one ...

    to state one likes the word "behoove"

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Glenturret Single Malt

      Re: It behooves one ...

      Americans say "behooves", Brits say "behoves" (according to my Chambers Dictionary). I think the word behooves has been a back construction from "behoof" which doesn't really have anything to do with behoves.

  13. Ant Evans

    Central Services

    This old system of yours could be on fire and I couldn't even turn on the kitchen tap without filling in a 27B/6... Bloody cloud.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Where's the rest?

    Been there a dozen times and you've barely scratched the surface of the googleplex....

    ..where are the pics of the dance studio (!), the wacky 'submarine' doors with faux hatch wheels, themed meeting rooms named after various flora, the employees with their pet dogs lying on bean bags next to their desks, the inflatable video conference pods, the astroturf floors, the all-you-can-carry free confectionary stand in the restaurant.......

    Must try harder - the vulture needs to ask its contact for the full tour next time!

    1. mrjohn

      Re: Where's the rest?

      beyond the strip of yellow and black on the floor that says "no visitors beyond this point"

      and the little signs on the doors that tell you which coloured pass you need to enter this room

      you can't take pictures inside the Temples of Syrinx

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeVTkUUCwfo

  15. Chris G Silver badge

    Dissapointing!

    I was expecting to see hordes of borged and assimilated Google employees moving around their augmented reality with super beta Glasses implanted onto their heads.

    Not even a Seven of Nine to be seen.

    I'll stick to working within yards of the beach here, where there is occasionally some outstanding augmentation.

  16. Slap

    Why never any employees

    Ok admittedly this tour was after hours, but why in all of the "we're such a cool employer, look at our fun shit" pictures do you never see any employees utilising this "fun shit"

    Just saying

    By the way I'm perfectly prepared to be corrected should somebody provide a picture of some Oompa Loompas diving down a slide or something.

    1. SoaG

      Re: Why never any employees

      Probably because that would require consent and most people don't like having their pictures taken by strangers.

      1. Ian 62

        Re: Why never any employees

        @SoaG

        I see what you did there :)

        +1 subtle internet points to you!

    2. Sanctimonious Prick
      Meh

      Re: Why never any employees

      Ok admittedly this tour was after hours @Slap

      After hours? Hmm...

      1. TAJW

        Re: Why never any employees

        There aren't any 'after hours' in high end software shops where I was employed. Someone was always there...working or sleeping on the floor.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Why never any employees

          You're lucky you had a floor to sleep on. In my day...

  17. 2Fat2Bald

    I'd love to work there. I'm a bit of a google fan, to be honest, but it would be nice to work in such an interesting, different workplace.

    Unfortunately - I can't code for toffee. But if someone buggers up a laser printer or wrecks their laptop - i'm your man.

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