back to article Canuck reader threatens suicide over exact dimensions of SPAAAACE!

It's been a while since I've received a decent flame email, so it's hats off to one Lorne Babcock for this missive which sizzled into my inbox this morning, bemoaning the headline "Beer in SPAAAACE! London Pride soars to 28,000m"... SPAAAACE! How many A's should there be in the word space? The years go by Lester, and you do …

Headmaster

There is one "a" in space. There are many in "spaaaace"

This means "spaaaace", "spaaaaace", etc. are valid.

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Anonymous Coward

There is one "a" in space. There are many in "spaaaace"

Exactly. We just need to do this:

public final static String SPAAAACE = "space";

public final static String SPACE = "spaaaace";

Sorted.

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Silver badge
Trollface

Re: There is one "a" in space. There are many in "spaaaace"

Pardon me but that clearly needs a patch. Here you go:

- public final static String SPACE = "spaaaace";

+ public final static String SPACE = " ";

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Silver badge

Re: There is one "a" in space. There are many in "spaaaace"

There are no "a"s in space. There are however several pigs.

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This post has been deleted by its author

Anonymous Coward

Re: There is one "a" in space. There are many in "spaaaace"

- public final static String SPACE = " ";

+public final static char SPACE = ' ';

If we're going to be picky, then even if it's final the object should have the expected type, and a space is a character.

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Silver badge

How many? All of them. Next question?

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Silver badge

Ah

That would be the Everett-Wheeeeeeler manifold universes hypothesis.

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But he's Canadian

S-P-Eh-Eh-Eh-Eh-Eh-Eh-Eh-C-E

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Re: There is one "a" in space. There are many in "spaaaace"

void* space = 0;

ftfy

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Headmaster

Re: There is one "a" in space. There are many in "spaaaace"

Actually, that is:

void * space = nullptr;

Please try to keep up...

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Re: There is one "a" in space. There are many in "spaaaace"

void* space = 0;

is equal to that.

Space is infinite, so if you start at a compiler-defined nullptr or at 0 does not matter, because infinity.

I could just as well have said

void* space = 1337;

or whatever it doesn't make a difference.

I did however forget to cast.

So it should've been

void* space = (void*)0;

nullptr is c++11 specific which doesn't work well for the god-language that is C.

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What a muppet!

"How many A's should there be in the word space?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If2vHbaSmJA

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Devil

Was the extra P in copped part of the Joke?

But it is funny either way.

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Silver badge

Which A?

Å uses to be written as AA despite being considered one letter even then, so there could be two Ås and no A. Depends on whether you're Danish or not. Here in Canada we don't count things like that eh.

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MrT
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Coat

AA, eh?

"So we were trying to work out how many A's should be in space, eh?"

"Spacey?"

"Yeah, Space, so we thought four, eh?"

"Foray?"

"Yeah, four. It seems about right..."

My sister has just visited from Windsor, ON, and it did sound a bit like "Road to the North Pole" at times... :-)

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Babcock the Canuck

"A bit Like Conan the Barbarian, but armed with a baseball bat."

Ice hockey stick, surely?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Babcock the Canuck

Probably should be four A's as per four aces, four Ecks etc as a coinage based on prior art. I would say 5 or more is considered excessive based on this and is probably wasting a tiny fraction of my mobiles bandwidth.

It's either that or the A's need the bar above to indicate long sounds like the dictionaries but given that I am assuming this is a PUN based on the age of the writers perhaps the announcement of the black and white lost in space or the colour pigs in space meme from the muppets is the driver.

Either way 5 or more A's is cheating ...

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Re: Babcock the Canuck

[weapons]

Babcock? Something submarine shirley?

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Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Babcock the Canuck

Given that it's now the summer, it should be a lacrosse stick.

NATIONAL SPORTS OF CANADA

Marginal note:Hockey and lacrosse to be national sports

2. The game commonly known as ice hockey is hereby recognized and declared to be the national winter sport of Canada and the game commonly known as lacrosse is hereby recognized and declared to be the national summer sport of Canada.

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Re: Babcock the Canuck

Nomenclature:

Hockey played on grass = 'field hockey'

Hockey played in a gymnasium = 'floor hockey' or 'ball hockey'

Hockey played on ice = 'hockey'

And the only reason for the winter sport/summer sport thing is lacrosse was originally Canada's national sport dating back to the original settlements, but hockey has taken over, so the politically correct way to handle it is to slowly phase out lacrosse by declaring them co-national sports for a while, until lacrosse can be quietly retired.

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Coat

Re: Babcock the Canuck -"Ice hockey stick, surely?"

No, Shirley it's "A lead filled snow shoe".

Watch out where them huskies go, don't you eat that yellow snow...

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Bronze badge

Re: Babcock the Canuck

"Nomenclature"

Let me adjust that:

"North American Nomenclature".

In a certain soggy country north of France, "hockey" is played on grass, and "ice hockey" is played on ice. I don't recall a special term for a hockey-like game played in gymnasiums.

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TRT
Silver badge

Everyone knows...

there's no AAA is space. If you get a flat battery or need a spark plug up there, you're on your own.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Everyone knows...

That, or a really good working relationship with Roskosmos. Before long, we're going to need to know what the word for "SPAAAACE" is in Russian and Chinese, and possibly Hindi. Unfortunately "пространство" is a bit of a mouthful, but at least the accent falls in the right place, so простраааанство! is an option.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Everyone knows...

you do find them in the spaaace behind my couch's cushions - a whole 4 pack last week

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Re: Everyone knows...

Actually Space AAA is AAAA.... being as it is the Final Frontier and all.

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Silver badge

To quote Weird Al

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot

Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut

And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head?

I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed

They all live on donuts and moose meat

And they leave the house without packin' heat

Never even bring their guns to the mall

And you know what else is too funny?

Their stupid Monopoly money

Can't take 'em seriously at all

Well maple syrup and snow's what they export

They treat curling just like it's a real sport

They think their silly accent is so cute

Can't understand a thing they're talkin' aboot

Sure they got their national health care

Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air

Then again well they got Celine Dion

Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni

And dream of drivin' a Zamboni

All over Saskatchewan

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot

Won't figure out their temperature in Celsius

See the map, they're hoverin' right over us

Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous

Always hear the same kind of story

Break their nose and they'll just say "sorry"

Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?

It's gotta mean they're all up to somethin'

So quick, before they see it comin'

Time for a pre-emptive strike!

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Re: To quote Weird Al

I suspect the down voter doesn't get Weird Al. Have an upvote,

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Silver badge

Re: To quote Weird Al

I see you are a lumberjack and you are all right!

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Alert

Re: To quote Weird Al

Thankfully Weird Al got a few things wrong. We shipped Celine Dion to Vegas years ago (J-Biebs is held not far from there, too).

Lucky for you yobs we truly know what it's like to be in absolute zero temps and survive.

I, for one, am Proud To Be A Canadian (as per the following traditions...) http://youtu.be/AAbisg02JD4

Oh yeah, I almost forgot why I came here tonight --> Take off, Eh?

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Babcock

To misquote Blackadder, this bloke has all the charm of a pub toilet at closing time.

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Anonymous Coward

Empty threats, don't you love 'm?

I'm sure the actual act of committing would earn him an upvote.

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Silver badge

It's been some years now since I have read any of your articles because every time I read your stuff, I feel like committing suicide.

Expressing your feelings is good, but it is even better to actualise them.

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Let's just have SP(A+)CE, m'kay?

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Interview

I suspect Babcock may be a terrorist. Who else would think such extreme measures over a wholly insignificant issue could be justified. You should have the email he sent you checked for Anthrax.

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Silver badge

Re: Interview

Did you mean "AAAAAnthrax"?

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Anonymous Coward

AAAAAAAAAAARSE!

some woooooooords

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Spaaaaaaaaaace is big. Really big.

You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is.

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Re: Spaaaaaaaaaace is big. Really big.

Space is not big. Space is a place for things to be big in.

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Devil

So he commits suicide.

Will he be missed? Probably not. Wouldn't worry about it Lester.

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Alien

Shmoptional

Easily fixed, you see space is an empty void that contains only stars so it's,

SP*CE

Thus using the wildcard and you can have as many or little A's as you like. That's the thing about space, nobody knows...

The end.

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Re: Shmoptional

But that is only one star, and space contains many. Surely it is SP****CE, or as we don't know how many: SP(*+)CE.

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Childcatcher

Re: Shmoptional

Yes, but you can't have lower case stars to simulate the loss of sound with the air running out of the environmental enclosure:

SPAAAaaace!

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Re: Shmoptional

My God, it's full of wildcards.

But they are being used incorrectly.

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Alien

Re: Shmoptional

Where is the 'A' in "SPICE GIRLS"?.

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Headmaster

Re: Shmoptional

Every body stand back! I know regular expressions! (Obligatory quote)

Now to be picky-picky-picky, and hope to goodness I don't slip up here:

a) At least one A: SPA\+CE

b) Stars in space: SP\*\*\+ or, better: SP\*\{2,}CE

But I did upvote SP*CE, because it is poetically correct.

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Silver badge

Re: Shmoptional

You are using too many backslashes.

SPA+CE

SP\*\*+CE SP\*{2,}CE

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Re: Shmoptional

> Where is the 'A' in "SPICE GIRLS"?

In Birmingham.

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Re: Shmoptional

Clearly you've not seen them from the backside....

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