back to article The final score: Gramophones 1 – Glassholes 0

What do the following have in common: a hand holding a half-litre carton of milk, the back of a balding head, a grinning selfie taken in a mirror and a wonky street scene with nothing of any interest going on? That’s right, it’s your life – courtesy of Google Glass. A number of colleagues have spent the last few weeks playing …

Page:

  1. muddysteve

    Hiding from Glassholes

    If/when these things become popular, I predict an increase in the wearing of hoodies and burqas.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hiding from Glassholes

      Wearing a burka to hide from a berk-er?

  2. Hank Waggenburger III

    Twelve o'clock flashers...

    ...used to be a term for people too old to be able to work out how to program their VCR (so the LED clock on the front would be all <blink>00:00</blink>).

    Once the same demographic get Glass it will take on a whole new layer of meaning.

    I'm off to reserve GoogleGlassAutoShareFail on tumblr and flickr

    --

    Hank Waggenburger III

    Connect to me on PicBum ButtPlugg!

    1. Steven Roper

      Re: Twelve o'clock flashers...

      "...people too old to be able to work out how to program their VCR..."

      Or, if they lived in Adelaide, people who got sick of resetting the clock all the time after the near-daily power cuts and dropouts that form a part of the backdrop of life in this benighted city.

  3. James 51 Silver badge
    Mushroom

    "I’ve been fiddling with iTunes for years and still can’t get the fucking thing to do what I want."

    Amen to that.

    1. Omgwtfbbqtime Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: title is too long

      I managed to get it to do what I want.

      Uninstalled the fucker.

      1. Evil Graham

        Re: title is too long

        Sadly, iTunes eventually got me to do what it wants.

        1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
          Unhappy

          Re: title is too long

          "Sadly, iTunes eventually got me to do what it wants."

          It's a supplier driven world.

          And not just for companies.

      2. Naughtyhorse

        Re: title is too long

        I was wondering about that one, I installed itunes once, last century some time. looked at it got 1/2 hour said 'fuck that for a game of soldiers' uninstalled it. filed it away as the sort of thing people who watch the x factor would use, and never looked back.

        instead I use this amazing app.... windoze exploder :-) had to kick it in the goolies a few times when it tried to get all 'itunes' on my ass. But now it knows whos the boss.

        1. JoshOvki

          Re: uninstalled it.

          Bugger me! You were actually able to uninstall iTunes?! I thought it was something not even a full reinstall would remove.

  4. auburnman

    The big difference between the all pervasive surveillance of a CCTV society vs. a Glasshole society is agency: All these Glasshole cameras are being actively directed and are linked to a user who immediately gets to decide if the footage is worth doing something with, probably without the subjects knowledge or consent. Footage can also be constantly buffered dashcam style so users can retroactively decide to save something for posterity.

    My concern is that in both the CCTV and Glasshole worlds I can do an embarrassing trip-stumble-faceplant combo in the street, but only in one of those worlds I can worry about being on Youtube within the hour.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      >> being on Youtube within the hour

      Paranoia informs me that the Glass wearer is, as you suggest, merely an agent. It's Google that determines what to do with the content being collected on its behalf by these agents.

    2. Haku

      Re: "embarrassing trip-stumble-faceplant combo "

      Picture this: A man running along a path with two dogs, each on a leash held in each hand, he trips, the dogs don't stop running, he couldn't let go of the leashes.

      He performed the most amazing full-on perfectly flat bellyflop to the ground I'll ever see in my life.

      He's lucky I didn't have any video recording device active because that clip would've likely gone viral. Had there been CCTV in that area there's almost no doubt a cheeky operator would've gone "I'm getting a copy of that & sending it to my mate".

  5. John 110
    Coat

    Completely off-topic

    +500 for the Bladerunner references

    me going to a party as Deckard-------->

    Damn! failed the Voight-Kampff test again

    1. AbelSoul
      Mushroom

      Re: Voight-Kampff

      "Let me tell you about my mother..." BLAM!

  6. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Coat

    Hmmm

    Quote

    "Paranoid I may be, but I doubt the months of digital video held in NSA vaults of me picking my nose are going to get me rendered on a top-secret Ryanair flight from Stansted to a five-year waterboarding holiday at Guantanamo."

    Are you really, really, really sure about that? wisest not to temp fate methinks.

    Time to pop me coat on and head out into my Spy Camera Free area and down the Pub for a quick one. No cameras there either. Plus, if I know the landlord, any idiot daft enough to poke their head round the door wearing a 'google Glass' type device will be quickly dispatched into the adjacent Duck Pond complete with glass device. do the locals have anything to hide? Shhhh better not to ask, Nudge-Nudge, wink-wink.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hmmm

      "Plus, if I know the landlord, any idiot daft enough to poke their head round the door wearing a 'google Glass' type device will be quickly dispatched into the adjacent Duck Pond complete with glass device"

      Although not glass I was once on the receiving end of a similar fate for daring to take a picture of my mates in a bar. The landlord (a dodgy fellow running a VERY dodgy pub) took offence to being in the background and tried to take my phone and snap it in two. I grabbed it back, was punched in the back of the head by a regular, picked up and thrown in a nearby (in the pub garden) river in November. I then called the police, the landlord was arrested, charged with assault and perverting the course of justice (he refused to give up the names of the regulars who helped him assault me)...because it wasn't his first run in with the law he got sent down for 5years and still has 3years to serve.

      The pub shut down not long after and was demolished to make way for a nursing home. So if your landlord really thinks he has the right to do things like that, good luck to him, but it wont end well for him, his family or the regulars that like drinking there.

      1. Alistair Dabbs

        Re: Hmmm

        Anyone else think this reads like one of those Armstrong & Miller sketches? "It might seem funny but it happened to a friend of mine."

        1. Dr_N Silver badge

          Re: Hmmm

          Really hope the OP is in witness protection or that the landlord has found it is his heart to forgive him....

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Hmmm

          I am pretty friendly with an ex-landlord/landlady couple who are well versed in the local pub/club scene, and had a good natter with the managing landlord who took over from them temporarily after they left - all parties confirmed that dodgy pubs 'allegedly' using drugs, fencing of stolen goods, etc to prop up their business isn't exactly rare (the managing landlord had dealt with dozens in his time, my mates had a rash of people trying to 'get in' with them and use the pub to flog drugs in private - who were told to feck off), and neither are people 'falling down the stairs' after having a 'difference of opinion' with the landlords.

          That said, a better way to get back at knobend landlords is to threaten their license - many ways of doing this, but of course, only if they are utter twats.

          Anon as I have a rare name, am easily traced, and have also had a couple of people lose their license because....they were utter twats. Lockins till 5am on weeknights with music blasting on a residential street, etc. I'm pretty laid back, but I work 9-5 for a living, have my limits, and 'go fuck yourself' as a response to a request to get them to tone it down wasn't the best way to get on my good side.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Hmmm

            I wonder how many people claim 'I am pretty friendly with an ex-landlord/landlady couple' and how many of said landlords would agree.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Hmmm

              Given that I still go round their house for coffee/dinner/generally setting the world to rights every other week, I'd say they would. There are several dozen other people who do fit the description you provide though, who they frankly just can't abide. I'm one of three people from those days that they speak to through their own volition.

              I'm not one to ingratiate myself where I'm not wanted. Except here of course, chum ;-)

          2. AndrueC Silver badge
            Facepalm

            Re: Hmmm

            and use the pub to flog drugs in private

            God it's time I went home. I mis-read that as 'use the pub to foul dogs in private'.

      2. Captain Hogwash

        Re: still has 3years to serve

        Long enough for you to get to taekwondo red belt then ;-)

    2. tony2heads
      Joke

      Re: Hmmm

      "top-secret Ryanair flight from Stansted to a five-year waterboarding holiday at Guantanamo"

      Which is the cruel and unusual punishment - the Ryanair flight of stay it Gitmo?

  7. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
    Big Brother

    The answer!

    Just completing the patent application for the tin-foil burqa now.

  8. Drat

    Photos photos

    Why do most articles concentrate on the camera part of google glass? Surely the defining feature is the always available screen in front of your eyes? I would have thought the main use of google glass is seeing information all the time, message notifcations, directions, google now cards (stocks, football scores, travel times/alerts). Photo taking must be a small part of what you can do. In fact I wonder why there is not a version without the front facing camera, a lot of the privacy concerns would then go away.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Photos photos

      ... because you might confuse wearers by hacking their glasses and feeding each one the viewpoint of some other wearer?

      1. andreas koch
        Trollface

        @ AC ~1220h - Re: Photos photos

        .. because you might confuse wearers by hacking their glasses and feeding each one the viewpoint of some other wearer?

        or shouting: "OK glass, horse porn, loop, mike off!"

        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
          Happy

          Re: @ AC ~1220h - Photos photos

          or shouting: "OK glass, horse porn, loop, mike off!"

          If you do that near me, it'll have to be a swift kick to the nadgers I'm afraid. No one interrupts me when I'm watching hot sheep-on-sheep lovin'!

          1. andreas koch
            Go

            @ !Spartacus - Re: @ AC ~1220h - Photos photos

            Don't worry, I'm rarely in Wales.

      2. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Re: Photos photos

        That's a good idea for a Kickstarter, a kind of short-range Glass hacking device which can swap viewpoints and/or superimpose images of the Laughing Man over everybody's faces.

        1. Alistair Dabbs

          Re: Photos photos

          >> superimpose images of the Laughing Man

          I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes.

    2. dotdavid

      Re: Photos photos

      I wonder why there is not a version without the front facing camera, a lot of the privacy concerns would then go away.

      This. Why not make the camera detachable and optional then if you really want some PoV video you can always attach it as and when it's actually appropriate to use.

    3. andreas koch
      Holmes

      @ Drat - Re: Photos photos

      > . . .

      In fact I wonder why there is not a version without the front facing camera

      . . . <

      The same reason why there's no TV without a remote, no Laptop without a keyboard and no tablet without a touchscreen.

      It's its main input device. To actually be useful, and not just a very small, very bad GoPro, you have to be able to point and ask at a party: "OK, Glass, that watch there, how much does it cost and where can I buy it?" or, with the kids in the zoo: "What are these animals called?" or "Where am I and how do I get home?"

      Microphone only would be pretty lame, I think.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Photos photos

      "Surely the defining feature is the always available screen in front of your eyes? I would have thought the main use of google glass is seeing information all the time, message notifcations, directions, google now cards (stocks, football scores, travel times/alerts). "

      Please tell me you are joking, do people really believe this is worth spending £k on? roll on the first bit of malware for the Google Glarse

  9. Novex

    Is it just me...

    ...or is this whole Google Glass thing starting to get about as close as we can to what William Gibson wrote about in 'Neuromancer'?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Is it just me...

      It's not just you. Moreover, the people into this kit usually don't get the irony at all, and think the world in Neuromancer is a totally cool, desirable future, let's bring it on, etc.

  10. Steven Davison

    RE : Photos photos

    Because then it isn't nearly as useful as a data collector. Which is why Google want us to have it. The more 'data' Google has, the more it can sell...

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

  12. ukgnome Silver badge

    Picbum

    is such a disappointment, if Dabbsy is going to advertise things then I expect much much better.

    No wonder he's all miserable, someone should kick him in the glasshole, and then snapchat it or summink!

  13. Isendel Steel

    Do we need

    printed outerwear or a "button" badge indicating we do not give our consent to image taking, so that it can be captured and we can use it to take down the images ?

    1. andreas koch
      Thumb Up

      @ Isendel Steel - Re: Do we need

      Yes! And litigate, of course!

      I'm off to the patent office, you better run if you want to beat me to it . . .

    2. malle-herbert Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Do we need

      Maybe t-shirts or badges with specially crafted QR-codes sending them

      to websites full of nasty virusses might do the trick !

      1. desht

        Re: Do we need

        A Goatse QR ought to be sufficient, I would have thought.

    3. John 110

      Re: Do we need

      Maybe a tee-shirt with a myriad of embedded infrared LEDs...

    4. Fungus Bob Silver badge

      Re: Do we need

      No, we just need a cattle prod. I imagine one of those would really fry them Google Glass thingies.

  14. lluvpostingcomments

    Google Potatohead+

    Why not have Google Ears ( Gears+ ), Google Nose ( Gnose+ ) as well as other appendages. You'll end up looking like a geeky Mr. Potatohead with a nervous twitch.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Google Potatohead+

      Must get some of those Google Guttocks.

      For my next trick, I will count to ten while drinking a glass of water.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Google Potatohead+

        That's just a load of old Glollocks!

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019