back to article DON'T PANIC: Facebook returns after 30-minute outage terror

Facebook is recovering from the Cluster-Zuck disaster outage which saw its stock plummet and fans rush into the arms of its sworn enemy, Twitter. The world blazed with anger and indignation after Facebook collapsed, causing its stock to fall by nearly 0.8 per cent in pre-market trading. Luckily for anyone who is craving …


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  1. Alister Silver badge

    The Guardian's inevitable liveblog claims the Facebook outage is its "longest service disruption in living memory".

    Do they mean longest disruption of Facebook, or just in general?

    Either way they're talking bollocks.

    1. xperroni
      Paris Hilton

      "longest service disruption in living memory"

      How far back is that? Please give your answer in Olympic pools.

    2. Christoph Silver badge

      "in living memory" means within the memory of the oldest people still alive.

      So for Facebook to have had an earlier outage, it would have to have happened while Victoria was still on the throne.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Yes, back in the days before the "Amused" button was replaced by the "Like" button.

        1. 's water music Silver badge

          Hope I don't have to wait long

          Yes, back in the days before the "Amused" button was replaced by the "Like" button.

          We wish for our esteemed colonist Mr Mark Zuckerberg to introduce, at his earliest convenience, an enhancement to his ingenious "Social Network", to whit, a "Not Amused" button. lol

          [x] Like

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What do you expect?

      Its the Guardian - full of hyperbole and exaggerated claims. I'm just surprised they never managed to blame it on global warming.

      1. Steve Evans

        Re: What do you expect?

        They will, just as soon as they've finished blaming Google/Android.

      2. ratfox Silver badge

        Re: What do you expect?

        I suspect they are using a goldfish for yardstick of "living memory"

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What do you expect?

        "I'm just surprised they never managed to blame it on global warming."

        or filthy rich companies who don't pay their fair share of tax...

        ... completely forgetting of course that the Guardian itself is owned by the Scott Trust, itself founded to avoid avoid death duties and other taxes.

  2. Dan 55 Silver badge


    And for a moment I was thinking wouldn't it be a shame if Facebook had caught whatever Code Spaces had.

    1. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

      Re: Oh

      Nice data mining ad platform you got there, be a shame if something happened to it.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did they really need to have a full reboot just to get some of those back doors out?

    Sounds more like Microshaft.

  4. Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The world blazed with anger and indignation

    I do appreciate the sarcasm. That said, I wonder how long before the world really does blaze with anger and indignation at something so irrelevant and meaningless to human existence as facebook.

    1. coda122

      Re: The world blazed with anger and indignation

      "...something so irrelevant and meaningless to human existence as facebook"

      Facebook *IS* human existence in a way. It is a never ending feed posted *BY* humans...

      1. Scroticus Canis Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        @coda122 - "Facebook *IS* human existence"

        You really should try and get out more; but leave the smarties-phone at home so you don't walk under a bus or of a cliff (if you ever manage to get into the wide open spaces).

  6. Moosh
    Paris Hilton

    Facebook isn't the sort of site that people will leave in droves just because it has an outage of maybe a couple of hours roughly once a year - the stock market truly is a fickle and demanding mistress

    1. fandom Silver badge

      "causing its stock to fall by nearly 0.8 per cent in pre-market trading"

      The stock market did nothing, the "plummets" bit is just our beloved register usual hyperbole.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      At the time the stock fell it was unknown whether the outage was going to be for a couple of hours or a couple of days (which results in a loss of income). There was also a small possibility that it could have been a large scale fault that had lost large amounts of customers data (with the attendant legal consequences). You sell a portion of your stock based upon these factors. You then make decisions as to whether to reacquire the stock or sell more of it based upon the length of the outage and the information you receive about the cause.

  7. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

    Thank goodness!!

    I near shat.

    1. VinceH Silver badge

      Re: Thank goodness!!

      Well, you had a ten minute window of opportunity to do so, apparently.

      1. John Tserkezis

        Re: Thank goodness!!

        "Well, you had a ten minute window of opportunity to do so, apparently."

        I take about that. All good then.

    2. TitterYeNot

      Re: Thank goodness!!

      "I near shat."

      Well, I haven't laughed so much since Auntie Mable got her left tit caught in the mangle...

    3. Lars Silver badge

      Re: Thank goodness!!

      "I near shat.", good for you you didn't, what you should have done was to by FB shares. That is the way to avoid "shitting" and make money, some did, no doubt.

  8. Steven Raith


    I had to do some work this morning.

    This, good sirs, will not stand...

    Steven "Professionalism - he's heard of it" Raith.

    1. CraPo

      Re: Gutted.

      Fortunately, The Register suffered no such outage...

      1. Steven Raith

        Re: Gutted.

        You knows it!

  9. Snark

    Not bad...

    20 minute or so outage for a free service that isn't going to inconvenience anyone when its down.

    Compare this to O2's outages for most of a day with their cockups with the HLR and several banks with problems running into the days.

    Hmmm, it's almost like an inverse pyramid of how much people invest in resilient systems compared to the actual value to the end user.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not bad...

      Free for users, but commerical users pay money to use it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not bad...

        If, as a commercial entity, you are paying to use it I suggest you go back to the con artist that told you that and try and get your money back.

        On a side note I have these magic beans for sale, just £50 each. Not only can they feed a student but they guarantee page 1 rankings in Google as well. Send me your bank details and Ill get the order placed.

  10. 's water music Silver badge

    post mortem

    I'm guessing that somebody made the rookie error of searching for "Facebook" on Facebook.

    Welcome to Livechat

    helpdesk Hi, how can I help you today?

    markz uh, hi, my website isn't working

    helpdesk Ok, tell me what you can see.

    markz A desk, there's a sofa over there. Oh, wait, on the computer right? lol

    markz it just says Something Wrong

    helpdesk Ok, did you make any changes today?

    markz is typing...

    markz is typing...

    markz is typing...

    markz no

    helpdesk Can you try it from another computer?

    markz uh, Cheryl says she has the same thing

    helpdesk Ok, have you tried switching it off and on again?

    markz ok i'll give taht a try



    helpdesk Are you still there? Is it working?

    markz sorry, it has a lot of windows open, I'm still closing them down

    helpdesk Ok, you know you can try holding down the power switch if you get stuck?

    markz ok, it is booting up now. fingers crossed lol

    markz bingo, its back. tahnks guys, you have really save my ass theer

    helpdesk No problem. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

    markz no thanks

    helpdesk Ok. Have a nice day.

    markz has left the chat

    1. John Tserkezis

      Re: post mortem

      "helpdesk Ok, have you tried switching it off and on again?"

      There's something wrong with your helpdesk department. That's the FIRST question they should be asking.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bad news

    I am still constipated, since i didnt get my daily dose of fuckbook upon waking up. WIthdrawl symptoms, I guess.

    Why are you doing it to me ZucK?

  12. Longrod_von_Hugendong

    World becomes...

    The most productive for many years, in the 30 mins or so faycebunch was down.

    I am expecting to see that headline at some point.

    1. fandom Silver badge

      Re: World becomes...

      No, not really, it more like finger injuries spiking as people keep clicking on the refresh button.

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: World becomes...

      Actually, every company's Helldesk got more productive from all the calls from the lowest lackey to the highest management that exclaim "my Internet is down". And because the highest level of management were affected, there's IT people all over the world getting reamed because "the Internet went down".

  13. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Updating my status


  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Will the ad-men be claiming their 21 minutes of lost earning back from them?

  15. TheDysk

    "DON'T PANIC: Facebook returns after 30-minute outage terror"

    Eh. What! Can't say as I noticed.

    Must remember not to panic!

  16. breakfast


    And yet still the sun shone and birds were singing, almost as though nothing important had happened at all.

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Anticlimax

      Which the average FB user never noticed as they stared at their 'puter screen and hit "refresh" a thousand times instead of looking out the window.

  17. Amorous Cowherder

    My God it was awful I had know....barely bring myself to say it, but I had find something else to do other than wittering my meaningless endevours to the rest of the world!

    Actually I only found out later on when someone told me they could look at one of my photos. Shock horror, they did something else for an hour or so and then came back! No fuss. No moaning. No losing their freaking mind! Just behaving like a normal sane person and simply waiting patiently for things to be sorted.

  18. Mr C

    people running in the streets

    Thats why people were running in streets, with tears in their eyes holding up pictures pushing them into random pedestrians' faces yelling DO YOU LIKE IT, DO YOU, WELL DO YOU??!

  19. heyrick Silver badge

    How long until...

    ...they 'fess up what happened to their user passwords, telephone numbers, etc etc etc?

  20. Adam Nealis


    0.8% is a plummet?

    Got that in football fields or swimming pools?

  21. DwarfPants

    Sorry I didn't notice

    One of those terrible tragedies that just passed me by.

    1. John Tserkezis

      Re: Sorry I didn't notice

      "One of those terrible tragedies that just passed me by."

      Yeah, I didn't notice, and the world didn't crash around my ears either. Well, it did, but Faceplant didn't have anything to do with it, nor Optus, nor Vodafone who's services co-incedently crashed at about the same time...

      Thank goodness for news sites. We wouldn't know when to panic then.

  22. Anonymous Coward

    Excuse me, but

    Whats Facebook?

    1. JaitcH
      Thumb Down

      Re: Excuse me, but

      It's a place where idiots share all their secrets with other idiots so the Plod can monitor people of interest's activities.

      1. FrankAlphaXII Silver badge

        Re: Excuse me, but

        I dont know why someone downvoted you, but the Police in the US and Canada anyway use Farcebook all the time, especially in regard to a majority of idiots who have no idea what privacy settings are or why you don't add people you don't know.


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