back to article Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

A 19-year-old Tennessee girl cuffed earlier this week for allegedly driving with a suspended licence is in a spot more bother – after jail officers reportedly discovered a loaded .22 revolver in her vagina. Dallas Archer's police mugshot Pretty in pink: Dallas Archer's police mugshot Dallas Archer was pulled over in …

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Pint

Bravo!

A return to El Reg headline excellence.

Cheered me up just as Beer O'clock approaches.

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Re: Bravo!

The headline was fine... I just find something very fishy about the article.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Bravo!

"I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking "did he fire six shots or only five?" Now to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow you head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky? Well, do you punk?"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Bravo!

I see a business opportunity here, overnight safe storage for personal items. Just like to Post Office, size and weight will determine the cost.

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Re: Bravo!

to be pendantic, the mini revolver mentioned only has a 5 round cylinder.

So it's "did I fire 5 shots, or 4..." :)

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Coat

Wasnt there a film about this?

Snatch!

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Loaded

Was it cocked?

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This post has been deleted by its author

Was it a Revulva?

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Or a Sex Pistol?

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Genius :D

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Silver badge

Maybe ..

... she couldn't afford a proper holster and forget that she was carrying it. Given enough time, you can get used to anything. (That doesn't let her off the stolen property rap of course).

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Re: Maybe ..

A self-lubricating holster! (He said lubriciously).

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Re: Maybe ..

She should have claimed it's an advanced self-defence-against-rape "booby"trap. Stand your ground and all that.

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Shooting blanks?

This is a stick up and it's stuck up here!

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Re: Shooting blanks?

Might get messy if it shoots it's load.

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Anonymous Coward

Defense strategy

"but I didn't want to bring a weapon in to a penal facility, I just wanted to ride around town with the gun shoved up there. *you're* the ones who brought me to jail!"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Defense strategy

Yeah, but they do ask you if you're carrying anything prohibited prior to crossing that magical line. Of course, if you think you're not going to get cavity-searched...

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If this is the case...why do girls bother with handbags?

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Silver badge

No idea, I'm a bloke. But I imagine trying to get a spiky hair brush, can of hair spray, mirror for doing eyes, etc, up there would be a tad uncomfortable!

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"No idea, I'm a bloke. But I imagine trying to get a spiky hair brush, can of hair spray, mirror for doing eyes, etc, up there would be a tad uncomfortable!"

And an entire pistol wouldn't be..?! Christ, I just gained a new level of respect (or fear) for the potential capabilities of my missus.

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Outside a nudist beach, quickly retrieving items from this type of storage could be inconvenient. Plus some women may prefer larger weapons.

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Anonymous Coward

> No idea, I'm a bloke.

Well, lasses have double the carrying capacity, but we lads still can...

on second thought, never mind.

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"No idea, I'm a bloke. But I imagine trying to get a spiky hair brush, can of hair spray, mirror for doing eyes, etc, up there would be a tad uncomfortable!"

I'm sorry to say but Rule 34* has covered....pretty much all of those.

Er, so I'm told.

*cough*

Steven R

*do NOT google 'rule 34' from work. Ever. Unless you like being sacked.

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Anonymous Coward

or...

Have an ethernet port at your desk that is connected to the network outside of the firewall...

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Silver badge
Joke

Smuggled Inn?

However, one disgusted local chap declared: "Mi nuh wan' dat deh phone fi use again, mi would dash it weh."

Hang on - they had mobile phones in Jamaica Inn? Or did I mishear you?

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life imitating art

Somethign similar in the opening scenes of the Danny Trejo masterpiece Machete;

But I think that involved a mobile phone being retrieved.. (Presumably on silent vibrate.)

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Feuer und Wasser kommt nicht zusammen...

"ein Feuerwerk springt aus dem Schritt"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Tracy Turnblad.

That's where she keeps the artillery emplacement.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Tracy Turnblad.

Austin: "Machine gun jubblies? How did I miss those, baby?"

Vanessa: "Perhaps next time you should try foreplay."

Austin: "Right..."

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WTF?

She looks like...

Someone to rush home to meet your parents.

I know you are not supposed to judge a [ned|chav] by their look but holy crap.

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Silver badge

Re: She looks like...

When she last popped into the hairdresser's did they have a slinky sitting on the shelf?

Or was it 8" rollers being as "everything's bigger in America" - including 'revolver holsters' it seems!

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Re: She looks like...

I think she's very pretty so shut your mouth.

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Complementary comment ..........

I actually first read that as "When The Smoking Gun told Souther exactly where his $200 piece had turned up, he exclaimed: 'Oh gash'." which again makes perfect sense in the context.

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Facepalm

I'm just impressed at her balls

Not just a gun up her minge, but a LOADED one! Don't wanna think about if it had gone off.

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Silver badge
Trollface

Packing Some Heat

But why would it go off?

The NAA .22 Long Rifle is the most popular Mini-Revolver ever produced. With the many current accessories, it is versatile for many applications and is the standard by which other Mini-Revolvers are judged.

Yes, I see.

As with every NAA Mini-Revolver, the hammer need not rest on an empty chamber. Using the original half-way notch cylinder, the hammer may rest safely and securely without chance of accidental discharge.

So that's ok. then.

On the other hand, some unfriendly molecules may leak onto the mucuous membrane.

Still, how DID she come up with that idea? Women these days...

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FAIL

And I bet she didn't have a concealed carry permit either...

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Silver badge

At least it wasn't a .357 Magnum

<see title>

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Joke

Re: At least it wasn't a .357 Magnum

It would have melted by now....

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Paris Hilton

Am I really the first one

thinking that Dallas Archer was not her real name?

More likely it was Eskimo Nell.

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Facepalm

Re: Am I really the first one

Eskimo Nell would use a .454 Casull.

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Joke

They got her BANG to Rights?

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Anonymous Coward

It surprises me

how many women have been reported to do this.

Time for a radically different remake of the Magnificent Seven?

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FAIL

Protection

It reminds me of a line from The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

(Bernadette says to Shirley)

Now listen here, you mullet. Why don't you just light your tampon, and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart!

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yLiGbJLWi8)

I don't know what's worse, that I can remember the line or that I have watched the film...!

Maybe someone told he she had to take some 'protection' with her so she didn't get up the duff.

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Hair!

Dunno if anyone noticed, but she appears to have a sea anemone attached to her head!

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Coat

Re: Hair!

With anemone like that, who needs friends?

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Silver badge

Loaded?!

Darwin Award candidate right there.

Came within a, er, hair of winning, too!

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Silver badge

Bah!

Sweet Shub-Niggurath's tentacular titties, how does that not hurt like hell?

I've always been told (in no uncertain terms) that ladyparts are sensitive and requiring of special handling.

No one mentioned 38 special or Saturday Night Special handling.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Bah!

Drugs? Lots of drugs. Just a guess.

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