back to article Woman whipped gun from vagina in SPACE ALIEN spat, reports Officer Zook

An argument over space aliens ended in a cuffing for a New Mexico resident after she reportedly threatened her other half with a handgun she whipped from her vagina. Jennifer McCarthy mugshot from Santa Fe County Adult Detention Center Jennifer McCarthy poses for law enforcement The police statement of probable cause says …

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  1. dssf

    Might not have an IT angle, but, you can bet 5 and 6 and James Bond would be impressed...

    Might not have an IT angle, but, you can bet 5 and 6 and James Bond would be impressed...

    Imagine if Pussy Galore whipped out one like that on Bond. He might be flattered. Or, if she had EVIL intentions, SPLATTERED.

    So, there IS at least a UK angle that can be injected, hehehehehehehe....

    Reminds me... Of when Bond was tied up, facing death.

    Woman: My name is PUSSY... GALORE..

    Bond: I must be in Heaven...

    LOLLLLLLLLL

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Ah but there is!

      "Evidently, there is no IT angle to this improbable tale..."

      Ah but there is! I am, after all, reading it on my computer.

      1. Captain DaFt

        Re: Ah but there is!

        Of course there's an IT angle!

        Every foo' knows that handguns use a 'point and click' interface!

    2. LarsG

      Choking on my morning porridge I had a thought,

      Was it a Derringer or a .44 Magnum the most powerful handgun in the world?

      Did she feel lucky? Did she, punk?

      1. Dave Robinson

        Concealing a 44 Magnum in her "pork holster" (The Reg's words, not mine) would be an impressive feat worthy of reporting in any publication, irrespective of whether it had an IT angle.

      2. Jedit

        "Was it a Derringer or a .44 Magnum the most powerful handgun in the world?"

        Why does it matter? It wasn't being held in a hand.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Might not have an IT angle, but, you can bet 5 and 6 and James Bond would be impressed...

      Loaded, cocked and ready to fire!

      1. Steven Raith

        Re: Might not have an IT angle, but, you can bet 5 and 6 and James Bond would be impressed...

        @AC 0805

        I've always preferred

        "Locked, cocked and ready to rock".

        Also, I concur on the derringer/.44 magnum. Although I now have some mental images that won't be helping me being productive.

        *goes off to think about leaky feeder cable and 5.8ghz bridges*

    4. Natalie Gritpants

      Re: Might not have an IT angle, but, you can bet 5 and 6 and James Bond would be impressed...

      Bond: I must be dreaming.

      FTFY

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Might not have an IT angle, but, you can bet 5 and 6 and James Bond would be impressed...

        Taking the 'O' (one of them anyway) out of No Country For Old Men.

        1. Joefish
          Coat

          Re: Taking the 'O' (one of them anyway) out of No Country For Old Men.

          Well, there was certainly none for her old man...

          1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
            Trollface

            Re: Taking the 'O' (one of them anyway) out of No Country For Old Men.

            .44 Magnum the most powerful handgun in the world

            That's old school.

            In the 21st you want the Smith & Wesson Model 500

            I don't know what such power is good for. Maybe removal of the kebabs in the New Jersey governorate?

            Anyway, I came here for the aliens, where are they.

  2. Mint Sauce
    Coffee/keyboard

    Pork holster

    See icon.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Pork holster

      More likely a wizards sleeve....

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Pork holster

        After she took the gun out James Bond would have quipped

        "Been shooting fish in barrel?"

        Only more suave.

  3. Anonymous Coward 101

    Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

    ...or possibly Mary Poppin's handbag.

    Had she also crammed a pound of crystal meth into it? Wouldn't be surprised.

    1. TitterYeNot
      Coat

      Re: Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

      Reminds me of a girl I used to know - fanny like a wizards sleeve and arse like a broken cat flap.

      I know, I know, I'm going...

      1. Shrimpling
        Coat

        Re: Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

        Like waving a sausage in a cave?

        1. Steven Raith

          Re: Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

          Like flinging a bratwurst down the Blackwall Tunnel.

          Steven R

          1. Shades

            Re: Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

            Like throwing a sausage up an alley.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

              When the barrel is too big for the bullet, it might be that the bullet is too small for the barrel.

              1. Elmer Phud Silver badge

                Re: Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

                "When the barrel is too big for the bullet, it might be that the bullet is too small for the barrel."

                They claim Bratwurst but really it's a chipolata.

                (there's most likely a Shakespearean put-down that is better)

              2. Jedit

                "it might be that the bullet is too small for the barrel."

                Why assume there's something wrong with his organ, just because it wasn't built for playing in a cathedral?

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

              > Like throwing a sausage up an alley.

              Chucking a fag end into a dry dock.

            3. FrankAlphaXII Silver badge

              Re: Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

              >>Like throwing a sausage up an alley

              Hot dog in a hallway

              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYeFC7Jj-bM

        2. Vic

          Re: Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

          > Like waving a sausage in a cave?

          I always liked the line "I was waving a match inside the Albert Hall" :-)

          Vic.

          [ From Nodding Donkey Blues, in case you're interested...

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

          Here's a flashlight - if you help me find the keys, we can drive out...

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Fanny Like a Hippo's Yawn

        You mean a particularly capacious sausage wallet?

  4. xperroni

    Just an ordinary day in the US of A

    Where anything can end in a gun threat.

  5. frank ly Silver badge

    " ... started to have inner course [sic] with the gun ..."

    That's when it's inside. 'Outercourse' is when it's used externally to provide pleasant stimulation.

    1. Joefish
      Paris Hilton

      Re: " ... started to have inner course [sic] with the gun ..."

      You are Joey Tribiani AICMFP.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Was the photo absolutely necessary?

    The thought of her in lingerie is having an unwanted effect on my breakfast

  7. Lottie

    Well it *is* sometimes pronounced "Heckler and cock"....

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I thought a fanny bag was something else

    Imagine the misunderstanding of a youtube thread, "What I keep in my fanny bag".

    Yes I know it's a fanny pack, but fanny bag seems more appropriate.

    1. kain preacher Silver badge

      Re: I thought a fanny bag was something else

      See fanny pack means some thing different over here in the US.

      1. Haku

        Re: I thought a fanny bag was something else

        Picture this, before I learnt the American meaning of the word fanny I had watched the film "Armed and Dangerous" where Meg Ryan said:

        "l must have a complete set of Carlino's fingerprints on my fanny by now."

        o_O

        1. Stuart21

          Re: I thought a fanny bag was something else

          Yes - 100% of yanks have them, but only 50% of Poms & Aussies.

  9. willi0000000
    WTF?

    THAT ------->

    is all.

  10. monkeyfish

    Bloody Click-bait

    The trouble is, it's difficult not to click.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

      Re: Bloody Click-bait

      I think I'd rather be Rick-rolled 100 times in a row myself.

  11. Captain TickTock
    WTF?

    'Who is crazy, you or me?'

    How many guesses do I get?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 'Who is crazy, you or me?'

      It's not that easy to answer... He threw the gun into the toilet, then picked it out of the toilet again... What's wrong with those people!!

    2. Don Jefe

      Re: 'Who is crazy, you or me?'

      While keeping the gun in what must look like a badly packed suitcase of a vagina may be a one-off event, you can be assured she's done scads of other crazy things leading up to that. This isn't the act of an otherwise rational individual momentarily overcome with emotion. You've got to build up to that sort of thing.

      Therefore, if we assume that this is only a single episode of bizarre behavior in a series of bizarre behaviors that has been escalating steadily over the years, we can conclude, with a high degree of certainty, that everybody in that house is crazy as fuck. None of this 'he's crazier or she's crazier bullshit'. Everybody involved is completely loony.

      I guarantee that her neighbors, upon hearing the news, thought about it for .7ms before deciding that, yes, this is exactly the sort of thing they had in mind when telling their children to stay away from that lady. Nobody will be surprised at all.

  12. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    Looks at picture....

    ....that's a woman???

  13. ukgnome Silver badge
    WTF?

    Things I have learned so far today,

    when you disarm a lady that has just produced a gun from her miffy the ideal place to stash the gun is a toilet.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Things I have learned so far today,

      "when you disarm a lady that has just produced a gun from her miffy the ideal place to stash the gun is a toilet."

      Well, yes... it would definitely need to be washed. Leaving it lying around would just be unsanitary!

      1. Eddy Ito Silver badge

        Re: Things I have learned so far today,

        I suppose it's possible the toilet was the cleanest place in the house.

  14. Elmer Phud Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Roomy

    For those who say there is no tech content they are obviously unaware of where babies come from (and maybe how they get there as well).

    Behind the portal there is a 3D printer of sorts.

    It is a bit slow but has a far finer resoluton than what you can get in the shops.

  15. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Happy

    Has El Reg teamed up with "Viz" ?

    just asking ?

    1. theblackhand

      Re: Has El Reg teamed up with "Viz" ?

      I'd hope there would be a more formal announcement if so?

      Imagine - two heavyweights of the IT publishing industry getting together...

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