back to article iPad Air not very hot: Apple fanbois SHUN London fondleslab launch

Apple's new iPad Air has fallen to earth with a thud following a dismal launch day in London. The new fondleslab went on sale today and was met with unimpressive crowds which had entirely dissipated by the early morning. Normally, huge throngs of fanbois descend on Apple stores at the merest hint of a new product launch, but …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The first six punters all look like bums.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      LOL!

      I just took a look at the photo. LMAO. Sad bastards.

    2. Erroneous Howard

      They probably ARE bums, the Apple staff just put some barriers around them while they were having a snooze

      1. oolor

        >They probably ARE bums

        Now there, the correct term is big-mac-and-cheap-gin-compensated-line-holders. 20 quid goes a long way to ensure a nervous fanperson gets their bling.

    3. LarsG

      Why Buy

      It's because if you have a retina screen iPad then there is no reason whatsoever to upgrade for the sake of a little less weight. If they had introduced the fingerprint reader ( next year perhaps ) then maybe but only just.

      Most people are waiting for the mini retina screen, that will sell BUT just think that if you hold out till next year you will get one with a fingerprint reader......

      It's not great is it, if all I can find to rave about is this? It really is quite a bland offering but hey you can say you have an Air.. Kudos, nope not any more.

      1. Doug Petrosky 1

        Re: Why Buy

        Ya. Nothing special. Just the best!

        Lightest, smallest, fastest tablet in this size. It is a solid upgrade for first second and third gen owners. What were people hoping for? Maybe next year it will hover? But seriously, how much better than best does it need to be?

      2. menotu

        Re: Why Buy

        fingerprint reader will appear on an upgraded model within 6 months...same as they did with the iPad 3 -4

        1. Kroneous

          Re: Why Buy

          And then HACKED in minutes by a 7yr old using Play Dough to spoof people's prints or chewing gum. That's how advanced Apple's lame stupid purchase was in beating Samsung out the door by merely buying the company out from under them, Motorola and HP. Who'd been using Authentec since 2005!

          Samsung already had a patent submitted for Authentec Sensor in Galaxy S3's HOME button a year before Apple bought them and then killed support to all their prior customers. That's how Apple like to compete..... copy, steal or thief all their ideas off the competition, that they lost in court on accusing them of copying and stealing from them as they've been doing all along!

    4. Jurassic

      Other fanbois putting down Apple fanbois ;-)

      "Latest slab selling like cold, unattractive cakes on Day One in Blighty"

      <sarcasm>That's right, no one will be buying the iPad Air. It is a total failure in every way. Apple will need to claim a loss of a billion dollars as Microsoft did with the Surface. No one is buying the iPad Air... really!</sarcasm>

      (Eyes rolling in reaction to the absurdity ;-))

    5. SuccessCase

      Odd. When Apple, in the past, have had restricted stock, The Register write how they are deliberately restricting stock to create the impression of popularity (even though anyone who knows anything about retail tech business knows you would never, ever, do that because it results in losing sales to your competitors). Now they have adequate stock and are settling into an incremental update pattern (as they have done for years with MacBooks) and again, The Reg proclaim it a disaster. Hmmm.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I'm waiting for the iPad Air Air.

    7. Sheep!

      "The first six punters all look like bums."

      They must be the ones queuing for the 5c then.

  2. messele

    I'd missed your Apple bullshit for the last week or so Hamill, I was beginning to get concerned that they would find you face down in a pool of your own bitterness.

    Since when were queues for laptops something that was noteworthy? You go for that big promotion, newshound!

    1. Frankee Llonnygog

      Re I'd missed your Apple bullshit for the last week

      Maybe El Reg has passed PEAK STUPID

      1. Frank Bough

        Re: Re I'd missed your Apple bullshit for the last week

        God I fucking hope so

        1. ratfox Silver badge

          Re: Re I'd missed your Apple bullshit for the last week

          Heh. Compare with the gushing going on here:

          http://tech.fortune.cnn.com/2013/11/01/apple-ipad-air-launch-videos/

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Re I'd missed your Apple bullshit for the last week

            why are they all clapping and cheering like morons?

            1. ThomH Silver badge

              Re: Re I'd missed your Apple bullshit for the last week (@AC)

              The Apple shop employees are paid to clap and cheer like morons at every product launch. They'll even insist on giving you high fives on your way, though they are at least doing it in order to provide themselves with shelter, warmth, food, etc, rather than because they honestly think that shaving 180g off an already successful product is really exciting.

              I guess the issue on Apple's side, when launching modest annual evolutions, is whether to risk a damp squib of a launch event like this, or to forego one for the first time since the iPad was announced. Damp squib it is.

      2. Sander van der Wal
        Thumb Down

        Re: Re I'd missed your Apple bullshit for the last week

        'Fraid not, they are still approaching it. More's the pity

    2. SuccessCase

      Be fair, he works hard. He must have searched high and low to find those "mixed" reviews. I could only find five star ratings.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "Be fair, he works hard. He must have searched high and low to find those "mixed" reviews. I could only find five star ratings."

        Ha, the usual Fandroid contingent down-votes from but where are the links to the bad reviews? Odd that. I guess when the paucity of links that prove my comment wrong is so great, even the Fandroids are too embarrassed to take up the challenge !

    3. sabroni Silver badge

      face down in a pool of your own bitterness.

      Aww, didn't anyone queue for the latest device from your favourite manufacturer?

      But yeah, Hamill is the one with all the bitterness....

      1. vaporland

        Re: face down in a pool of your own bitterness.

        if el reg was printed on paper, who would queue for it?

        besides parrots and pigeons and budgies, i mean...

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      queues for laptops...

      iPad air is a tablet

      1. messele

        Re: queues for laptops...

        Yep exactly - they are tablets not laptops. It took way longer than I was expecting for somebody to actually correct my earlier comment, thanks for paying attention.

        So what the hell is this quote from the article supposed to mean?

        "The tech seems to be maturing," he added. "I remember old laptops, which used to break every year, so you needed to buy a new one. That's not the case anymore and Apple also face competition from Google or Samsung. Apple are still on top of the game, but you cannot expect them to do something different each time."

  3. EddieD

    Eh?

    "The tech seems to be maturing," he added. "I remember old laptops, which used to break every year, so you needed to buy a new one."

    I don't remember that time at all - I've still got a late 90s vintage Macbook G3 and a couple of iBooks, a few ancient Latitudes - all of which got very heavy usage as we couldn't afford to buy many back then...

    In fact it's only of late that the annual upgrades have started, because someone seems to have started making machines that cannot be user serviced, or upgraded at all, so they go obselete very quickly, quickly enough in fact that it looks like a marketting strategy, but no-one would do that, would they?

    1. Cliff

      Re: Eh?

      >>>I remember old laptops, which used to break every year, so you needed to buy a new one.<<<

      I don't think that's ever been the case, Apple or otherwise, so bit of a straw man argument really!

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Eh?

        > because someone seems to have started making machines that cannot be user serviced, or upgraded at all, so they go obselete very quickly

        Obsolete? Really? Through the nineties and into the early 2000s it was sensible to buy a new desktop for around £1000, because the software and new uses would mean that more CPU, RAM and HDD was always desirable, not to mention having to add stuff like soundcards, CD-ROMs and scanner cards (IRQs, joy). In the mid 2000s, there just wasn't that much that more power would do for the general user, since by then a £500 (or cheaper) machine could happily do all the email, DTP, image editing, web-browsing and DVD playback that a general user would need.

        My laptop was bought several years ago, and still performs excellently for CAD and the like. It could always be faster on a render or whatever (and an SSD wouldn't hurt it), but it is very far from being obsolete.

        1. alan buxey

          Re: Eh?

          you seem to have misplaced the argument. you've stated exactly the point - the laptop you bought several years ago CAN be upgraded to give it some more relevance years later...SSD, maybe more memory...use a PCCard adapter or such for new connectivity. you cant do that with some recent devices...particularly fruity firm devices - the iPad and Macbook Air spring to mind here.

          1. Stevie Silver badge

            Re: Eh?

            "the laptop you bought several years ago CAN be upgraded to give it some more relevance years later"

            Not so. You'll be lucky if the new devices like SDD are supported by the interfaces available on your old motherboard.

            Ask me how I know this, me being in the IT lark and having spec'd several home machines for this fabled ability to upgrade and extend the life thereby.

            1. Observer1959

              Re: Eh?

              Well apparently just about any old Apple product with an SATA connection can have an SSD. This is one of the biggest boost to speed along with more memory. I've added both these to an older MBP and it's like a new machine.

              http://eshop.macsales.com/item/OWC/SSDEX3G120/

              All Mac Pro models

              • All PowerMac G5 models

              • All MacBook Pro models

              • All Mac mini 2006-Current (All Intel Models)

              • iMac 2006-current (All Intel Models)

              • iMac G5

              • All MacBook models

              • Xserve 2009

          2. Lusty Silver badge

            Re: Eh?

            "you cant do that with some recent devices...particularly fruity firm devices - the iPad and Macbook Air spring to mind here."

            And you can't fit that old upgradeable laptop through a gap 8mm wide. Consumers have voted with their feet, and although several people are very bitter that they are not on the winning side, that doesn't change the fact that the rest of us voted for portability.

            Yes, your shitty old laptop is more usable now you fitted an SSD, but my iPad Air is more usable because I have it with me. Win for the iPad.

            Yes, your shitty old laptop is upgradeable so you can keep on flogging that dead horse, but my MacBook Air doesn't cause permanent damage to my back while carrying it in a bag around London.

            Yes, you may be able to replace your old battery, but I don't even need to carry the power supply because my modern devices last 12 hours with constant use while yours, even with your new battery and hours of cocking around with settings and stopping services, probably lasts "up to 4 hours" which we all know means 2 hours of actually using it.

            No I can't upgrade my stuff, but it's so much nicer that I'm not bothered by that at all and will continue to buy the new versions while selling the old ones for slightly less than I paid a couple of years later - I lost around £100/year on the old iPad which works out at pennies per hour of usage. You may think I hate the environment, but in that time you've probably binned a lot more kit than I have!

        2. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: Eh?

          I was just saying that computers don't "go obsolete very quickly" these days. Specialist users (gamers, editors, animators, scientists, traders) will always gain benefit from more power (and thus easy upgrades), but average users can do all they need on modestly specced machines, and on most software they won't even notice much of a difference.

          They won't, until Microsoft decide that Word needs the return of Clippy, but this time raytraced in real-time and composited against a 4K video live stream.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Eh?

      @Eddie D - >"I don't remember that time at all - I've still got a late 90s vintage Macbook G3 and a couple of iBooks, a few ancient Latitudes"

      Well - I have tons of old equipment laying around. Most of it still works, if I bother with it. But one thing I don't do - I don't memorize the names and the specs as if they were some glorious gifts from the Gods. And believe it or not - some of that old gear I have in storage is even Apple gear. And I couldn't honestly tell you the name or the model number of ANY of it. If I need to find a driver, I can go to the device and read the model number from the sticker or from the etching.

      I guess that's a big part of the difference between "Fanbois" and everyone else who uses tech to get work done, not to try to be hip. And a big part of the difference between those who religiously purchase every device from one company, and those who buy the best tool for the job.

      1. returnmyjedi

        Re: Eh?

        Just to check, I've powered up an old IBM ThinkPad sporting a 486 DX4 and Windows 98 SE. The battery no longer works, but I'm typing this post on the whirring old thing. I may even try and get X-Wing running on it (the only game I still have the floppies for).

        Take that lawyer scum!

      2. Robert Taylor

        Re: Eh?

        > But one thing I don't do - I don't memorize the names and the specs as if they were some glorious gifts from the Gods.

        So you have a poor memory. That doesn't seem a good reason to bash someone for being specific in their post.

        1. Darryl

          Re: Eh?

          Just what I was thinking, Robert. "The OP has a better memory than me, so he must be a fanboi." and he didn't even pick up on Eddie's mention of, gasp, Latitudes!

        2. John Bailey

          Re: Eh?

          Umm.. Actually I think the concept he was trying to get across is that he has this thing called a life.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Eh?

          @Robert Taylor - "So you have a poor memory. That doesn't seem a good reason to bash someone for being specific in their post."

          My memory is fantastic. But I don't stuff it full of useless data - like the name of the laptops I was buying 15 years ago. Or even 4 years ago. Or the model numbers of parts I used to build workstations with. If I need to know the name, I go and look at it. I don't recall the exact name of the phone in my pocket right now - I know it's a Sammy Android with a slider keyboard - because I work better with a keyboard. I don't recall the version of Android it's running - I don't give a crap unless I need to load an app that won't work with that version. And if I do need to know, I look it up on the phone.

          What I DO remember is the enormous amount of work I've done with those machines over the years. I've bled most of them dry.

          And I don't stick with one company religiously. I'm typing on a new HP laptop right now, and I've got a Sammy Android in my pocket. I built my workstation. My last laptop was a Dell, and my last phone was a Blackberry. And I can almost guarantee you my next ones won't be the same. I buy the best deal that will do the job for me the best at the time. That's the only thing that matters to me - getting the job done at a decent price. I don't care if anyone is impressed with the gear I'm using.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Eh?

      Downvoted for saying something positive about Apple products...

  4. Toothpick
    Meh

    The tick list

    Peak Apple: check

    Fondleslab: check

    Fanbois: check

    Fruity Firm: check

    Written by: enough said.

    I do like iAcolytes though

    1. sabroni Silver badge
      Happy

      You forgot

      Butthurt fanbois posting snarky comments: check

  5. dave 93
    Meh

    A bit harsh

    "few cosmetic changes and some minor weight loss."

    New 64bit architecture, and a 33% weight reduction are significant updates however prejudiced one may choose to be.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A bit harsh

      So it's significantly lighter and thinner, 64 bit processor so potentially much faster, same battery life - sounds pretty good to me. I would not call the older model being about a third heavier as minor weight loss.

      Basically it's the best tablet available for most people unless you really have some major issue with Apple / iOS or do not want to spend as much.

      1. Brenda McViking

        Re: A bit harsh

        Repeat after me: "64-bit architectures have NOTHING to do with speed"

        If anything, they're slower than their 32-bit counterparts, due to having to process more bits for a given calculation. Unless you're doing lots of double-precision floating point analyses, their use is somewhat limited in a tablet.

        1. Brenda McViking

          Re: A bit harsh

          Go on then, downvoters, prove me, and my electronics degree modules in computer architecture wrong. Last time I checked this was a tech site.

          Why does 64 bit mean faster? It doesn't. It allows you to address more memory (last time I checked no tablets had 4GB RAM.) And unless you're doing CFD, CAD, HPC-grade analyses like weather prediction, stress analysis, or things like desktop-level gaming then you're not going to see the benefits in terms of the added double-precision calculation capacity that 64 bit offers over 32 bit.

          http://techland.time.com/2013/09/13/why-in-the-world-would-you-need-a-64-bit-smartphone/

          http://www.extremetech.com/gaming/166244-iphone-5s-the-64-bit-a7-chip-is-marketing-fluff-and-wont-improve-performance

          Yes yes, those articles quoted are about the 5S. The A7 chip in that is the same architecture as the iPad Air.

          1. Mtech25
            IT Angle

            Re: A bit harsh

            This is an apple on el reg don't expect little things like logic to matter when you are fighting for you favorite brand.

          2. Joerg

            Re: A bit harsh

            @Brenda McViking: so you clearly did steal any IT degree you could have got. Because you just know nothing about basic CPU architecture and logic.

          3. Tom 13

            Re: Why does 64 bit mean faster? It doesn't.

            If it's a full 64-bit architecture instead of a 64-bit processor on a 32-bit bus it does necessarily mean faster because you load 64-bits into the processor with one read cycle instead of 2. That's why 64-bit didn't make a hell of a lot of sense when Intel and MS released them for XP on 32-bit motherboards.

            I'll agree it doesn't necessarily affect the perceived user speed because we long ago passed the point where the desktop CPU is idling at 80-90% most of the time for a typical user. But the system itself is still faster. You also get into issues with coders compiling stuff for 32-bit and running the 32-bit on top of the 64-bit with an emulator between the two, which will slow down the perceived speed. Again, that's not the hardware being slower.

          4. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: A bit harsh

            29 upvotes for that? Obviously not from the technical readers of the site.

            A 64 bit architecture does mean that you can address more memory but it also, just as importantly, means that you can move twice as much data per clock cycle around the system as you did with a 32 bit architecture. That means, with a machine that is very much attuned to photography and video that you can move photos and videos around twice as fast; process them twice as fast and generally speed up many operations where moving large amounts of data around is important.

            I hope you don't belong to the more recent university cohorts who had to pay for their degrees. You don't seem to have got your money's worth.

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