"... plucked with golden tweezers ..."
The tweezers should be made of wood, from the root of an old tea bush. This reduces the stress on the young leaf when it is plucked. You really can taste the difference.
We're one step closer today to deciding the ultimate cuppa with the announcement of the 12 contenders which will go mug-to-mug in the pursuit of tea perfection. Our crack team of shopping experts has braved multiple supermarkets in search of your nominations, and we're set to turn the matter over to our panel of tasting …
This was the premise of the clippers, such as the Cutty Sark, fresh, fast delivered tea was better. As it turns out, no there's no depreciation in quality so all that effort was merely misguided marketing.
Tea leaf taste does vary, so each tea manufacturer employs tasters and blenders that get samples of the tea from the ships, blend it all in clever ways until they get the mix that matches the taste of Tetleys, PG (insert brand here). Then that mix is sent back to the production line, and the leaves are mixed on a huge scale.
I'm not a great fan of desktop backgrounds and much prefer a solid colour. However, for the near future my desktop will be adorned by an image of ten boxes and two packets of tea.
Will there be some sort of award so that the producer can slap it on there packaging, El Reg Best in Class or El Reg Recommended, that sort of thing.
I have this recollection of accidentally watching some really naff 7pm BBC1 "consumer" telly show back in 1997 presented by *shudders* Vanessa Feltz, in which they rolled out some elderly cockneys to do a tea taste test just like this - the overriding winner - Tesco Value Tea Bags!!!??!!!
I am of coursed scared for life by watching Mrs Feltz in full slurping action but that aside, it has given me the idea that maybe El-Reg should launch it's very own LOHAN consumer lifestyle YouTube channel showing similarly naff shows, minus gobby blond lady?!
Think 'You and Yours' but with no over simplifications of internet technologies and instead, actual pictures and puns!
I can just see it now, the gleaming Vulture rosette heartily slapped on to a prize-winning, steaming, well used and totally spent, soggy bag!....
.....but enough about Mrs Feltz!
Now you've gone and done it! You've woken up the Hobnob Taleban! The most vicious combatants in the biscuit world...
I'm not sure I even dare to say that I find Hobnobs to be mediocre. If I had to dunk in tea, it would be a ginger or chocolate coated digestive, but I tend to find the biccie spoils the tea.
My actual favourite biscuit is the Jaffa cake - and that's not even a biscuit. So what do I know?
I know what you mean. My wife dips all sorts of things in tea, muffins, bread... and it makes me cringe.
However give the rich tea sandwich a go and next thing you know you'll be seeing how many you can stack up and still get them in your mouth all at once. You might need a really big mug but then all tea drinkers should already have one, my preference is a pint jar.
How on earth are you going to make the ultimate cuppa with hard water ???
You need to come here, to gods own county to brew something really worth drinking. All that messing about with different teabags is OK but you have to start with freshly drawn Yorkshire water if you want to produce anything decent from any of them.
"You need to come here, to gods own county to brew something really worth drinking. All that messing about with different teabags is OK but you have to start with freshly drawn Yorkshire water if you want to produce anything decent from any of them."
Oh, right: We shouldn't bother drinking tea with what we've got, then. Best I tell the entire county not to brew up ever again!
I have it on very good authority (insider info) that the variations of twinnings "black" tea is really just marketing. Everyday, english breakfast etc are all the same, just in a different box.
I was tortured on whether to post this or not (probably the same level of mental angst Darwin suffered before his publication of that much disputed book about stuff) as it would have been a nice "control".
Unfortunately my smug-know-it-all alter ego got the better of me.
This is worst then that blooming horse-meat scandal if you ask me! I think the media needs to investigate at once! I'm looking forward to seeing gormless BBC News reporters spending two months of their lives standing aimlessly outside the Twinings factory with nothing to say but the bloody obvious until it's all forgotten about!
...that we may not have considered is the state of the imbiber at the time of consumption. I don't know whether this applies across the board but I've found evidence that the following conditions can greatly enhance a cuppa:
- returning home after being drenched in the rain
- coming back from a heavy night on the sauce
- drinking one after having missed your early morning cuppa
- sharing one in the company of a stuffed monkey (unconfirmed)
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