back to article Waving an Eye-of-Sauron pulsating mock cock? Stop immediately

Ann Summers has declared one of its vibrators is NSFW - and the last letter doesn't stand for working. The High Street sex shop chain has recalled its range of Ultimate O sex toys over fears that power supplies may be faulty. Anyone who purchased one of the pink pleasure-givers can return it to Ann Summers for a refund. " …

COMMENTS

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  1. amanfromearth

    Mordor

    Eye of Sauron, surely?

    1. davtom

      Re: Mordor

      Extremely tenuous...

    2. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: Mordor

      NEEEERRRDDD! ;-)

      C.

    3. Irongut

      Re: Mordor

      That is the Tower of Barad-dûr actually.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Mordor

        Just Barad-dûr, or you've basically said "Tower of Tower-Dark"

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

          1. Martin Budden
            Headmaster

            Re: Mordor

            You're

        2. Winters

          Re: Mordor

          Stop!

  2. LinkOfHyrule
    Joke

    It's not actually being recalled due to an electrical fault - Ann Summers QA department actually found they contained a back-door into the NSA Prism system!!!!

    1. Ralph B
      Joke

      NSA Back Door?

      I think you must be holding it wrong.

      1. Euripides Pants Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: NSA Back Door?

        Right. One definitely should not hold this at one's back door.

  3. Mike Richards Silver badge

    "Please unplug and stop using the product immediately,"

    Yourself and then unplug the Dildo of Death.

  4. lansalot
    FAIL

    Blimey...

    An electrocution "down there".. that could sure make your hair stand on end...

    1. Don Jefe
      Happy

      Re: Blimey...

      Indeed, the straightening of pubic hair does pose a significant risk. That's why pubes are curly you know, so you don't put your eye out...

      1. This post has been deleted by a moderator

      2. tentimes

        Re: Blimey...

        Put your eye out? wtf? I don't know what people get up to lol.

      3. Naughtyhorse

        Re: Blimey...

        Ah pubes... I remember them!

        back in the ol days before teh intertubes

      4. Don Jefe
        Alert

        Re: Blimey...

        I really want to know what the 'Post Deleted by Moderator' said. Normally I wouldn't care, but this is about an article discussing a mock-cock clitoral stimulator that has a dangerous power supply... What could it possibly have said that was out of line?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @Don Jefe

          It was self gratifying

    2. Winters

      Re: Blimey...

      Among other things.

  5. Hughb
    Alert

    Erm...

    Good God! It looks like ET's fist!

  6. RobH
    WTF?

    the proof

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sOW6cBSfUIE

  7. tentimes
    WTF?

    NSDW

    Ok, I'm going to be the naive one and ask... what does NSFW stand for?

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Happy

      New South Fucking Wales

      or Not Safe For Work - basically its an aid to accidentally looking at rude things in front of your boss or customers. Luckily I work for a dildo design agency so I can safely ignore it!

      1. This post has been deleted by a moderator

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: New South Fucking Wales

        "dildo design agency" ? How does that work?

        draw vaguely different connected curves all morning , go down pub at lunchtime for liquid inspiration, go back to office and mould plasticine into outrageous shapes in the afternoon, go home. ?

        1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

          Re: New South Fucking Wales

          You missed the important step after "go home"; test design on spouse/self/both.

          And then fill in a prototype evaluation form.

        2. LinkOfHyrule
          Gimp

          Re: "dildo design agency"

          Hehe I was only joking I don't really. I actually work for Apple designing iPhones - its a similar line of work though! Especially the new iDong they're soon bringing out - oops said to much!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    NSFW

    Nether-regions

    Sex

    Friend (for)

    Women

  9. frank ly Silver badge

    As soon as I saw the picture .....

    .... I started thinking about doing inventive (and probably silly) things with a pink Marigold(tm) glove.

    1. It'sa Mea... Mario
      Devil

      Re: As soon as I saw the picture .....

      There probably isn't much left you could 'invent' doing with a pink Marigold that has not been tried by somebody already...

      Devil... as if that needs explaining :)

      1. Khaptain Silver badge

        Re: As soon as I saw the picture .....

        It's not easy on the mind thinking that one of the above 2 will be "walking into their bedroom tonight with a pink marigold glove" or worse "walking into the pub toilet with a pink marigold glove".

        1. It'sa Mea... Mario
          Gimp

          Re: As soon as I saw the picture .....

          Nah... Pink's not my colour.

          And besides I prefer surgical gloves.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Totally body safe"

    Sounds like deceptive advertising to me.

  11. That Awful Puppy
    Thumb Up

    Coffee, meet keyboard

    The bootnote did it.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Where do the other two fingers go?

    I wasn't aware the holes were arranged like that.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Where do the other two fingers go?

      Its two in the pink and one in the .....

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Where do the other two fingers go?

      I think this is just another one of those mysteries of the human female. I assume the ladies know what to do with this thing.

      My only guess is the larger outside prongs are meant to be handles or something.

  13. bag o' spanners
    Angel

    I can't see Ann Summers threatening Hitachi's market dominance with that cheap and nasty contraption. Having to stop for a recharge is a real passion killer.

  14. Velv Silver badge
    Joke

    NSFW Comment

    In case you've never heard this radio prank:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEZ4YbWSmb0

  15. Dan Paul
    Devil

    I've heard of a "Two Holer"

    But never a Three Holer (outside of some backwoods outhouse seating)

    Maybe instead of ET's fist that's for ET's Tri-gina?

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's actually called the

    O O O O Arrrrrgh!

    1. Martin Budden
      Pint

      Re: It's actually called the

      Ooh arrh, ooh arrh ay, Ooh arrh, ooh arrh ay!

      <--- Cider

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    It looks more like....

    It looks more like the "War of the Worlds" (1953) Martian's tentacles to me....

    ULLLLAAAAAA!

    (it does give a new meaning to "The Red Weed", doesn't it?)

  18. skeptical i
    Thumb Up

    An electric stim wand modelled after Barad-dûr -- THAT would be cool.

    Forget that silly three-fingered dishwashing glove.

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