Insert ring jokes
Apple has claimed its massive new ring-shaped Cupertino headquarters will create 7,400 new jobs and sustain thousands more in the local area. The fruity firm's gigantic new Apple Campus 2 building, which it would seem reasonable to dub the Fruit Loop, looks more like a vast modernist doughnut (or breakfast unit) than a …
One ring to rule them all
If I've understood the mayor's response correctly
-they've run rings round the opposition....
Isn't "ring" a synonym for arsehole.
So effectivelly , Apple have created the largest arsehole in the world and everyday it's employees will be coming and going into said orifice.
In that case, GCHQ has the second biggest arsehole in the UK... Not sure the spooks will like that. :-)
"One ring to rule them all"
One ring to rule them all,
One ring to bind them.
One ring to bring them all,
And in the courthouse fine them.
Oh, wait, no, that's questionable patents, not rings.
Too bad they don't pay tax on any of that $150B
"The fruity firm's gigantic new Apple Campus 2 building, which it would seem reasonable to dub the Fruit Loop..."
OMG, I have not laughed that hard in some time. Massive pay rise for the one who thought that up.
Seconded - superb coinage! Speaking as an Apple-gear addict myself.
the term fruity sphincter.
Wow. Oh wow.
Not looked at the current full retail prices for oooh, Ralph Lauren and alike then, obviously Apple knows it's market. The clotted cream of the world.
I baulked at $100 for a polo shirt. I'll stick to M & S I think.
$$ in M&S? I thought the USA M&S closed years ago. What one learns on the Register!
I dont care if its $5, any company that tried to fine me would quickly find itself with a position to fill and a burgeoning reputation of being complete a$$hats!
Maybe they have a big swear jar. Say a bad word* and you pay.
* Example: Samsung, Android, Tax, Amazon...
...open standards, interoperability
It says Cupertino fines them. That's the name of the city. That's actually not much for the number of employees they have. Cupertino must not have very many parking meters.
I used to work for CDC they built a new HQ in Minneapolis before going bust. Then another company that built a new HQ at Eagan. Add to that the Royal Bank of Scotland where my pay used to go. If you work for Apple be very afraid, mean time to failure no more than 5 years.
There is a rule of thumb that stockholders should get out of a company the moment they build a new headquarters with a pond and a flagpole as it's all downhill from there on in.
Is there a flagpole?
Is there a pond?
We need to know.
Maybe they can repeat this for the Apple Doughnut (whatever it is called).
Now, if they succeed in getting it named a foreign country so they can bring in all the overseas profits, they could pave the place with gold bricks!
"Now, if they succeed in getting it named a foreign country so they can bring in all the overseas profits, they could pave the place with gold bricks!"
Sort of like Vatican City? Hmm...All they need is a prophet and a cult following and...erm...
More like Apple Fritter....Apple frittering away a lot of money on an HQ on the old HP Cupertino site...probably some sort of "triumph" for the apple-pan-dowdies who were rejected by Bill and Dave back in the day... Maybe they could make the building rotate, like in 2001 A Space Odyssey...don't get your code done on time (or on spec) end up stuck to the wall in a spinning building....so much for lunch....
Bring back Alltronics, Curtis Trading Company, Wierd Stuff, and all the rest...where did the REAL valley go?
So they're building a massive new site, but it still won't cater to all of their staff in one place? Seems a bit odd to do that. Why not build one complex that houses their entire Cupertino workforce? Cuts down on people travelling to meetings within the city...
Eadon will NOT be happy
1. They intend to make money from their cafeteria?!? Don't they make enough money from their fine products?
2. I've heard this building described as "futuristic" in other articles; are there going to be people movers or personal transport pods? (You know, instead of elevators.)
BTW. Good call on those who mentioned the Pentagon. Similar thinking. (Now what were they thinking?)
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