back to article Twitter translated to LOLCATZ: Strangely this had not been done

If you've got nothing better to do than faff around on Twitter, you're likely to be the sort who will enjoy having your Twitter account translated into Lolcatz, the language. Not your actual tweets, nor the tweets of anyone else, but just the various commands and buttons that furnish the page around the tweets. The languages …

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  1. Notas Badoff
    Facepalm

    Our *3*, no, our *4* greatest weaknesses are ...

    Please look up "facepalm" in these languages: Catalan, Basque, Spanish, Portugese.

    Bonus points: Which one doesn't read like the others?

  2. Best Before:
    Coat

    Lolcatz?

    I have to admit I was entirely oblivious to this "language" before the particular article. After reading through I believe the only appropriate comment to make is:

    I despair ov teh hooman race, we r doomd

    1. mike2R

      Re: Lolcatz?

      Just leaving this here...

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOLCODE

      1. Wize

        Re: Lolcatz?

        "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOLCODE"

        Great language with commands such as:

        IM IN YR LOOP UPPIN YR VAR

        1. Dan 55 Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: Lolcatz?

          That's good, I do like strongly typed languages instead of rubbish like JavaScript.

        2. Kurt 5

          Re: Lolcatz?

          LOLCODE is fun to give in programming interviews. Most of the interviewees have never seen it. The language is trivial and makes it good to see how the interviewee picks up on new things.

    2. JetSetJim

      Re: Lolcatz?

      Wot no Pirate option yet? Or Leet?

      1. Elmer Phud
        Headmaster

        Re: Lolcatz?

        nah, they're a bunch of loosers

    3. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: Lolcatz?

      I call it a monument to human ingenuity and persistence.

      Mind you, I don't always think very highly of human ingenuity and persistence.

  3. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    Sign of the times?

    Lolcatz is there, but Klingon isn't.

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      Re: Sign of the times?

      I was going to demand Klingon but a true warrior. . . . No, I don't have the strength to go on.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    By adding LOLCATZ, and not Klingon, Twitter proves it is for the cranially challenged and not for us uber endowed nerds.

    Phale.

    1. Rattus Rattus

      Phale?

      Don't you mean " vonlu' " ?

  5. Haku
    Happy

    The Dialectizer - the original web translator

    http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/

    eg, this is what the article looks like in Swedish Chet or Hacker

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: The Dialectizer - the original web translator

      And I here was hoping for a translation into Obscurantist Hegelian Dialect hailing the prussian king and weirding people out for fun and profit.

    2. Elmer Phud

      Re: The Dialectizer - the original web translator

      I miss the 'bork bork' add on for Thunderbird -- especially for those official up-thier-own-bum type emails.

    3. The Envoy
      Happy

      Re: The Dialectizer - the original web translator

      Thanks for the Swedish Chef link/translation. It was almost like being back home in Sweden reading again.

      ...

      Hey, wait ... I already am.

      OK.

  6. Khaptain Silver badge
    FAIL

    Internet memes !!!!!

    Are their not already enough illiterate people without adding crap like this.

    If nothing else I suppose that it will allow the Chavs to communicate on their own level.

    1. Coldwind104
      Headmaster

      Re: Internet memes !!!!!

      "Are their not already enough illiterate people without adding crap like this."

      Yes, 'their' are.

      Also, that looked like a question to me. Isn't it missing something at the end there?

    2. Frankee Llonnygog

      Re: Internet memes !!!!!

      I expect this to have been added to gov.uk by the end of the week.

      WELCOM 2 GOV.UK

      TEH BEST PLACE 2 FIND GUBMENT SERVICEZ AN INFORMASHUN

      SIMPLR, CLEARR, FASTR

      Hmmm - that IS simpler, clearer and faster

    3. Elmer Phud

      Re: Internet memes !!!!!

      "Chavs"

      Ah, the last apparently indentifiable section of society some find refuge in slagging off .

      Always good to have a section of society to feel superior t , isn't it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Internet memes !!!!!

        What the hell is a chav?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          What is a chav?

          A guido driving on the left.

      2. Coldwind104

        Re: Internet memes !!!!!

        "Always good to have a section of society to feel superior t , isn't it."

        Sorry, but I'm afraid even cutting sarcasm isn't going to eliminate that particular human tendency.

        Besides, I tend to be more concerned by the people - like your good self - who object to the use of the word 'chav' on the basis that we shouldn't be looking down on "a section of society".

        If we were talking about ethnicity, or age, or disability, or sex, or sexual orientation, or gender identity, or any of those other characteristics over which people have no personal control, then I'd be right there with you on the moral high ground.

        But we're not talking about those things. Being a 'chav' is about behaviour and attitude. I know people make a big thing about 'chavs' wearing hoodies or big hoop earrings, or whatever - defining them by appearance, albeit a chosen appearance - but what it's really about is behaviours and attitudes. 'Chav' generally indicates someone who - in whatever way - rejects the standards of the society they live in but still expects to be supported by it. Someone who demands respect but is generally unwilling to extend it to anyone else.

        So when someone comes along and suggests that we should refrain from being judgemental about 'chavs' because we're victimising "a section of society", what they're implying is that a) these people should not be *expected* to behave in a socially responsible way; because b) these people couldn't behave in a socially responsible way even if they wanted to.

        There's a parallel assertion that people who criticise 'chavs' are criticising 'the poor' or 'the disadvantaged'. This similarly implies that poorer people can't be socially responsible in their behaviours, and therefore shouldn't be expected to be.

        All in all, I think those implications are pretty worrying in themselves. For myself, I believe that almost everyone is capable of conducting themselves in a socially responsible way, so I expect them to do just that - even if it only goes as far as basic politeness, the rejection of violence, and not trying to nick other people's stuff. If people refuse to adhere to those standards, if they reject the need to respect other people, their property and the society they're a part of, then I have no qualms about calling them out on it. (I might not call them 'chav', myself, because it's a tired-out word, but the principle holds.)

        By gods. Can we have an icon for "I'm going to talk like a complete pompous arse for far too long", please?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This is entirely appropriate.

    After all, the web exists solely for pussies of one kind or another.

  8. Grimster
    Facepalm

    Sic transit gloria mundi.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Coat

      Your van broke down yesterday?

      1. Stoneshop
        Coat

        The suspension is knackered, which made Gloria barf.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lolcatz more useful...

    Hmmm, even Lolcatz is more useful than Galician, Catalan and Basque! Anonymous because I don't want irate speakers of pissant languages to "kill" me ;-)

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: Lolcatz more useful...

      speakers of pissant languages

      What, you mean like French?

      *runs*

    2. Elmer Phud

      Re: Lolcatz more useful...

      " I don't want irate speakers of pissant languages to "kill" me ;-)"

      Keeel heem,, keeel heem to death!

      Luzer!

    3. cyborg
      Trollface

      Re: Lolcatz more useful...

      Translate in all known languages and dialects including Welsh.

  10. Mage Silver badge
    Trollface

    MS missing a trick

    MS spends a fortune on Localisation every version of OS, tools and applications. But would volunteers add the translations?

    Proves that some Twitter users Gullible.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: MS missing a trick

      Lolcatisation of Windows?

  11. Peter Ford
    FAIL

    Wot, nah Biffa?

    Had awa' an shite, man!

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: Wot, nah Biffa?

      Young man, one has no intention in concealing oneself in order to defecate purely at the appearance of your good self.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I tried to write a filter for Social Networks

    I tried to write a filter for Social Networks - I called it "intelligent".

    I could never get it to work; for some reason it never output anything.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: I tried to write a filter for Social Networks

      Presumably you think it was working?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I want to find it funnier than I do...

    ...but I rather fear the joke is lost on 'yoof' and 'not so yoofs' that aren't net savvy enough re: the cat gag.

    This being of course because a frightening percentage of people now text / email / socially networkalise themselves in this manner anyway*. I suppose it would be funnier if I thought potential participants knew how to communicate in any other way.

    More a case 'LOLhumans', IMHO.

    txtspk was just one in a pantheon of f*ckeries that edged me toward the 'EXIT' sign on Facebook - if such a thing actually exists, and my escape wasn't a hopeful fantasy.

    * I had to go back to a correspondent once and request written English. She'd typed exclusively in txtspk, and not even phonetically accurate txtspk for that matter. I literally had no idea what she was trying to say.

    1. cyborg
      Boffin

      Re: I want to find it funnier than I do...

      "This being of course because a frightening percentage of people now text / email / socially networkalise themselves in this manner anyway"

      People have always used shortcuts and abbreviations. The problem is not in the jots or tittles or particular grammatical constructs or spellings - it is entirely possible to understand these conventions. The problem is that often these people are inarticulate anyway meaning trying to extract sense was always going to be an uphill battle. Unfortunately I don't think that is a problem that would go away simply by eliminating a particular coloquial phonetic construct de jour.

      1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: I want to find it funnier than I do...

        People have always used shortcuts and abbreviations.

        Indeed. People who think "txtspk" is a novel phenomenon should spend a few hours grubbing about in the archives of their nearest research library. Going through a stack of, say, publishers' chapbooks from the nineteenth century would disabuse them of that notion.

        And most of that stuff was handwritten (before the introduction of the typewriter, late 19th C). At least with computers and SMS the glyphs are usually discernible.

  14. Helldesk Dogsbody
    Black Helicopters

    A Cunning Plan Perhaps?

    Perhaps it's all a cunning plan intended to locate those ignorant enough to both use Twitter and combine it with the desecration of the English language known as "LOLCATZ" (*shudder* I feel unclean from merely typing that!) before unleashing a pogrom against those identified and thereby improving the human genome marginally?

    Or maybe I only suspect that because it's very much what I'd consider doing...

    1. Colin Millar
      Alien

      Re: A Cunning Plan Perhaps?

      Nah - iz just for tah LULZ

  15. bag o' spanners
    Boffin

    I R holding out for I_337CAT

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    I miss the app that turned everything in FireFox into Swedish Chef speak, is it still available??

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Of course...

      I believe you're looking for the Bork Bork Bork! add on. Unfortunately, it appears to be borken at the moment, and not working with FF 18.0.

  17. James Pickett
    Angel

    @Michael Wojcik

    Thanks for the Lolcat Bible link. I have a passing acquaintance with the Authorised Version, but it's not nearly as funny.

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