back to article Microsoft burgled, only the APPLE iPADS stolen - cops confirm

A savvy sneak slipped into a Microsoft campus, stole five iPads and left all the Microsoft products untouched, according to cops. More than $3,000 in Apple kit was nicked from the research and development complex in Mountain View, California, over Christmas. There was no sign of a forced entry at Building 5 on La Avenida …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    "Microsoft did not respond to a request for comment".

    Well there's your problem, right there. Should have called it an open specification...

    1. LarsG
      Meh

      Apparently

      Apparently according to the news broadcast they found a significant number of additional surface tablets that were unclaimed by staff but linked by serial number to a theft from a Microsoft Store two weeks ago. Police speculate they were left behind by the burglars.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Apparently

        Of course what hasn't yet been reported is that they were all thrown in the bin as the cleaner correctly identified them as being rubbish.

    2. Bob Vistakin
      Linux

      Re: "Microsoft did not respond to a request for comment".

      Look at these two ugly bastards:

      http://bgr.com/2013/01/07/nokia-ceo-elop-interview-android-284778/

      Between them is a pair of loser CEOs.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Microsoft did not respond to a request for comment".

        Oh and Eric Schmidt is a wonderful guy is he?

        He used to work for shit boring Novell. He's in North Korea, one of the axes of evil. He only gives a shit about grabbing your money and couldn't give a stuff about paying taxes.

        Elop is a good CEO, many Nokia users who have written to him with problems have received free gifts and help. Try emailing Schmidt, would probably be out playing golf or something. Steve Jobs would have said "hold it differently".

        1. asdf
          FAIL

          Re: "Microsoft did not respond to a request for comment".

          >Oh and Eric Schmidt is a wonderful guy is he?

          Hmm so everybody who criticizes Microsoft or their ho hum me too products is now automatically an Android or Apple fanboi eh? Not everyone believes in corporate tribes (most outside of middle school in fact). Some of us just look at electronics as tools and select the one that best meets our needs for the right price.

        2. Cyclist
          Headmaster

          Re: "Microsoft did not respond to a request for comment".

          Point of order, but it's axis of evil, not axes. Axes of evil is a whole new ball game.

          Carry on.

      2. Herer
        Thumb Up

        Re: "Microsoft did not respond to a request for comment".

        that isn't ballmer's real hand

      3. Atonnis

        Re: "Microsoft did not respond to a request for comment".

        I don't quite think you can really call those two 'loser CEOs' - both of their bank balances are probably more than you'll earn over your entire lifetime.

  2. Thomas 4

    And many thanks

    ...to Mr T. Cook for the news tip.

    1. Mark .

      Re: And many thanks

      Indeed, this is nothing more than a troll / press release masquerading as news - people may dislike MS, but seriously, you want to advertise for let's-destroy-the-most-successful-Open-Source-operating-system-with-software-patents Apple?

      If they only took five items, it seems clear it was a targeted theft. And as noted in the other recent story[*], this may be because they're expensive, and there will be a minority who will pay any price for them, plus unlike many makes, they only do expensive products, so it's an easier target.

      Given that thieves typically steal to sell, this tells us nothing about what is desired, but what people can sell at a high price. So Apple win on that - big deal. And whilst I'm sure the spin is "people don't want MS even for free", the flipside is that it says these people are only willing to take Apple if they give it for free (also see the ridiculous numbers of "win a free ipad" competitions).

      The other point is that these stories only get reported when it favours Apple.

      [*] What is it about all these recent "Thieves stealing Apple products" stories? Seems some kind of desperate marketing attempt to make the products look popular. Even the local news here was at it, reporting on burglaries, but then mentioning only Apple brand names by name - any other makes just get ignored, or don't get reported.

  3. mhoneywell

    BYOD

    Good to see Microsoft supporting the principles it touts.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: BYOD

      Should be TYoD

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    They Looked At The W8 Machines....

    And thought WTF is that GUI all about, no thanks.

    1. Mark .

      Re: They Looked At The W8 Machines....

      Except if that was their view, they wouldn't have then taken a tablet-only ipads!

  5. Dana W
    Happy

    This is going to leave me amused all day.

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

      Yep, me too. And it makes me wonder: were these thieves out for profit, or did they really want to salt into some people's wounds.

      1. Thorne
        Gimp

        Actually it's like the animal liberationists who break into labs to free lab animals. Fanbois broke in and liberated the iPads to stop evil Microsoft scientist performing unholy experiments on them.

        Unfortuantely like in the horror movies these iPads are already infected and will wreak havok on the fanboi population.

        Muhahahahahaha

  6. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Happy

    Priceless

    Many years ago, a company I worked for had offices in a really out-of-town (nearest store 1mile) technology park.

    One day we had a frantic phone call from the office manager. Thieves had broken into our offices, and then used our computers to break the windows into the office across the hall, and steal their computers.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What were Microsoft stealing from the iPads?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "What were Microsoft stealing from the iPads?"

      Nothing, they just thought it was cool to be seen with one !

      1. Naughtyhorse

        Nothing, they just thought it was cool to be seen with one !

        So the gear belonged to the team that brought us windoze ME then

      2. Matt Bryant Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Nothing, they just thought it was cool to be seen with one !

        If you read the article;

        "....Microsoft reported the crime to the police on 2 January but believes the electronics were stolen between 19 and 26 December....."

        Looks like the iPads weren't that cool seeing as no-one noticed they had gone for up to fourteen days.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Nothing, they just thought it was cool to be seen with one !

          Microsoft has some evidence as to when the crime occurred and someone sat on it at the request of the PR department. They needed to come up with a story to which they couldn't think of one. I think the thieves should have left a Zune behind.

          I heard Ballmer felt so bad, that he offered a new Surface to replace the four iPads that got stolen.

        2. Alex King
          FAIL

          Re: Nothing, they just thought it was cool to be seen with one !

          OR, the office where they were might have been unattended during that period. Now let me see, what could possibly have caused that around that time of year??

        3. hplasm
          Devil

          Re: Nothing, they just thought it was cool to be seen with one !

          They noticed they had gone, but thought they might come back after a reboot.

    2. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Trollface

      What were Microsoft stealing from the iPads?

      Nothing, The were checking to see what crApple had stolen from them.

      ref: "We have always been shameless about stealing great ideas" — Steve Jobs, Triumph of the Nerds, 1996 (youtube link)

  8. Scarborough Dave
    Coffee/keyboard

    Nice article to read before I went home

    Thanks! needed a chuckle after the Monday blues!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That's what you get

    if you don't watch MS Windows8 adds carefully. You end up with the wrong kit.

  10. Andy Fletcher

    If he got some untested MS apps for Mac devices...

    He's probably already suffered enough punishment.

  11. Big_Ted
    Trollface

    If I had broken in

    I would have taken the Apple kit as well, easy to sale on ebay for a good price.

    After all 5 ipads among hundreds won't stand out but a couple of surface tablets on ebay would be a red flag to anyone, after all they only sold half a dozen or so,

    1. Grave

      Re: If I had broken in

      probably easier because crapple users aren't the brightest bulbs in a box so they pretty much buy even clay-brick with crapple logo on it

      //code cipher:

      downvote = agreed

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: If I had broken in

        You mean like this?

    2. ElReg!comments!Pierre

      Re: If I had broken in

      It's all about price. Apple kit sells at several thousand times the manufacturing price, hence a lot of room for stolen half-price kit on the black market: cheap enough to be a good buy despite the risk. Ignoring the surface for this argument, you can buy or build a windows computer for, well, the price of its part on the Chinese market. 400 bucks will get you a very decent windows office machine. factoring in the labour cost of physically removing the machines from MS headquarters, you can't possibly beat that. A basic Windows PC is cheaper to buy than to steal. Then there is value-to-volume and weight: ratios: the thieves could have stolen one full-size rack of spanking new servers, used heavy machinery to move it to a rather large van. Instead they choose to steal the same resale-value kit that fits in a briefcase.

      Also, reselling beasty servers is harder and more suspicious than reselling "Oh I got it for Xmas but I don't like it that much" iPads...

      1. Dana W
        FAIL

        Re: If I had broken in

        "Apple kit sells at several thousand times the manufacturing price,"

        No.

        1. ElReg!comments!Pierre

          Re: If I had broken in

          > "Apple kit sells at several thousand times the manufacturing price,"

          > No.

          You're right. It's only twice the retail price (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/02/11/ipad_breakdown/)

          heh.

          1. Dana W
            Happy

            Re: If I had broken in

            I never denied THAT. Just that "several thousand times" is just dumb. Note the thumbs down from the Fandroids and the Winsheep.

            1. dajames
              FAIL

              Re: If I had broken in

              I never denied THAT. Just that "several thousand times" is just dumb. Note the thumbs down from the Fandroids and the Winsheep.

              Nah, you're getting voted down because you're coming across as someone who is so literal-minded that he can't appreciate the use of ironic exaggeration to emphasize a point.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: If I had broken in

                Look I've told you a million times not to exaggerate.

            2. ElReg!comments!Pierre
              Unhappy

              Re: If I had broken in @ Dana W

              > the Fandroids and the Winsheep.

              just for the record, I mildly hate MSWindows (my work involves tech support for MSWinLusers... so I'm paid for MS' flaws, in a way; hence the "mildly"). I never ever owned an iOS device but I still have to fix these for friends; and I never ever owned an Android device, or had to fix one. My real machines mostly run Debian or OpenBSD, and my toys (handhelds, etc) run either obscure Linux distros (for the most powerful ones) or fully machine-programmed OSes (for the more ressource-limited ones). Excluding my work machines, I do not use any internal hard drive larger than 20 GB. I am a sad geek indeed.

    3. Mark .

      Re: If I had broken in

      And Apple ipads, the most overhyped product in existence even before its release, took years to get anywhere (it was 6 months before I saw a single one). And the original iphone only sold half a dozen (see? I can make stuff up too - or more accurately, they sold way less than Symbian, Blackberry, and even WM).

      Seriously - I get that people here don't like tablets and MS, yet then you find they support *Apple*?

      You're right on the first paragraph, which is why this pro-Apple-spin is a non-story.

  12. Silverburn
    Happy

    Santa

    Microsoft reported the crime to the police on 2 January but believes the electronics were stolen between 19 and 26 December

    Hmmmm. Looks like nobody is immune to Apples supply management - not even Santa. No sign of forced entry, but did the room have a chimney by any chance...?

  13. O RLY

    Why are there quotations marks around iPad 4

    and not iPad 3 as well? Neither the third or fourth iPads were designated "iPad 3" or "iPad 4", so why single one out?

  14. Arachnoid

    "It's possible the thief has got hold of some unreleased Microsoft apps with his or her Apple devices."

    Surely a pun unless MS is now developing Office for the iPad??

    1. zentechinc

      my thoughts too

      developer guts for office for ipad maybe?

  15. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Happy

    See, there is such a thing as Kama

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yes and this it hitting you for not paying attention at school.

      Karma, not kama!

      1. Martin
        Happy

        "Yes and this it hitting you..."

        First law of corrections - when you smugly point out an error, you will make a mistake in your correction....

        Yes, and this is it hitting you...

    2. frank ly

      @Will Godfrey re 'Kama'

      The Wikipedia entries for 'Kama' are wide ranging. My favourite is :

      "Kama is translated from Sanskrit as pleasure, sensual gratification, sexual fulfillment or the aesthetic enjoyment of life."

  16. Lars Silver badge
    Joke

    I suspect

    it was Ballmer. Better look for them outside the window.

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