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back to article iPhone 5 has 'laser keyboard, holographic images'

US television station Fox 5 New York has aired a report in which it claims the iPhone 5 comes equipped with a laser keyboard and holographic projector. The claims appear in a news report, since posted to YouTube, in which reporter Lidia Curanaj meets fanbois queueing outside a New York Apple store. That part of the segment …

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  1. nuked
    Meh

    If true...

    ..which I doubt, it would be a serious game changer.

    0 12
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      If it was true then

      If it were then even the fandroids would dump their Androids......

      2 15
      1. Thorne
        Reply Icon

        Re: If it was true then

        "If it were then even the fandroids would dump their Androids......"

        Yes we would but since it isn't, we won't.

        17 3
        1. VinceH
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          Re: If it was true then

          "If it were then even the fandroids would dump their Androids......"

          This Android user wouldn't.

          12 1
      2. Mr Brush
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        Trollface

        Re: If it was true then

        >> If it were then even the fandroids would dump their Androids......

        If it were true, it would have already been around on Android for a year or two before Apple 'invented' it.

        36 2
        1. Lost in Cyberspace
          Reply Icon

          Re: If it was true then

          True.

          Android would definitely have it first.

          Apple would add it 2 years later, and make it work properly and easily.

          Samsung would modify the feature and make it work completely differently to the Stock Android version.

          0 1
    2. bdam
      Reply Icon
      Facepalm

      Re: If true...

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdIWKytq_q4

      9 1
    3. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If true...

      And it still wouldn't be an Apple innovation as they have been done elsewhere. Wouldn't stop Apple patenting them though with the magic words....on a phone

      9 2
    4. Annihilator
      Reply Icon
      Facepalm

      Re: If true...

      Erm, if true, you'd think they'd have mentioned it in the keynote.

      4 0
    5. nigel 15
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      Re: If true...

      '..which I doubt,' - are you ill?

      3 0
    6. Crisp
      Reply Icon

      Re: If true...

      It would be patented.

      Probably already is.

      0 1
      1. Thorne
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        Re: If true...

        "It would be patented.

        Probably already is."

        Actually laser keyboards are already being made so yes patents for that are out. You can already get mobiles with microprojectors and laser keyboards.

        holograms are getting there but are not quiet ready to be built into mobiles yet. They could patent it but in all likelyhood the patent would expire before the technology get small and cheap enough to build in

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    7. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If true...

      Honestly?

      Really?

      S A P! I bet you have your idiotPhone5 already.

      1 4
    8. Michael Wojcik Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: If true...

      If true...

      If what is true? That a Fox station took a fan wish list as a product description?

      Surely nothing in the article even implied that the iPhone 5 has the laser keyboard or holographic display.

      (Personally, I wouldn't find either feature attractive in a phone anyway. And I don't see what "game" would be changed - Apple would still be the Purveyor of Shiny, and if other manufacturers thought those features would drive significant additional sales, they'd add them too. All a big pile of dreary sameness.)

      0 0
  2. Ralph B
    Black Helicopters

    In Fox We Trust

    With Fox's backing of this standard, Mitt Romney might well win the Presidency.

    13 0
  3. Silverburn

    Made to make Fox look bad? So it's genuine Fox footage then...

    32 0
    1. Rampant Spaniel
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      Very true, it takes no effort to make fox look bad, they do it for you.

      2 0
    2. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Ahh but...

      ..it can't be true, they didn't mention Communist China in every other sentence.

      1 0
  4. Bad Beaver
    Trollface

    hahahaha

    See, Apple, people actually lust for you to put new and exiting stuff into your products. Take that as a free hint.

    2 1
  5. tkioz
    FAIL

    If it actually had those features I'd eat humble pie and queue to buy it as well... but since it doesn't I'll simply mock both Fox and the Fanbois sleeping out in the cold to get a phone

    14 0
    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Do these people sleeping outside the stores use holiday hours or something? Isn't the release not for another 3 days?

      0 0
  6. John Tserkezis

    Ah yes, but can it make phone calls?

    10 1
    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Not out of the box, but there's an app for that. :-P

      20 0
    2. Jason
      Reply Icon

      Only if you hold it between the index finger of your right hand, and left big toe, to your left ear while standing next to an Apple store

      17 2
  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Another surprise feature

    Error #2035

    Looks like Apple won't allow Google browsers to see their phones.

    2 3
    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Another surprise feature

      Just face facts, chrome is crap.

      3 6
      1. g e
        Reply Icon

        Re: Another surprise feature

        You must work in marketing or something...

        0 1
        1. Mr Spoon
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          Re: Another surprise feature

          No Chrome is crap in many ways. It's very nice and fast but the rendering still leaves a lot to be desired and it's pretty buggy.

          1 3
      2. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Another surprise feature

        "Just face facts, chrome is crap."

        You do realise that Chrome and Safari are basically the same thing? Go lookup 'webkit'. Fanboooiiii!!

        1 0
        1. 0_Flybert_0
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          Holmes

          Re:Re: Another surprise feature

          Safari renders like crap too .. or was that your point and I missed it ?

          0 0
  8. Rick Damiani

    "...someone has gone to a lot of trouble to make Fox look bad..."

    It doesn't take much effort to make Fox look bad. All you have to do is turn it on and wait a few minutes.

    18 0
  9. JaitcH
    Meh

    Someone, somehwere will be broken hearted ...

    when they turn on their little iPhone 5 and find their laser keyboard and holographic projector don't work, will take it back for 'repairs'..

    That's the problem with promising the world and not delivering.

    Still, there is always Samsung's Galaxy Beam with a built-in projector. That actually works. Maybe a keyboard later?

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    1. Peter 48
      Reply Icon

      Re: Someone, somehwere will be broken hearted ...

      just buy the galaxy beam and this laser keyboard: http://www.amazon.com/Celluon-Magic-Projection-Keyboard-Touchpad/dp/B005ES6E6W and you too can experience fox news's iphone 5 "magic"

      1 0
    2. TraceyC
      Reply Icon

      Re: Someone, somehwere will be broken hearted ...

      Even if the phone doesn't deliver, people will *think* it does. After all, some folks were handed an iPhone 4S, told it was a 5, and talked about how much more awesome it was than their own 4S.

      http://www.maximumpc.com/article/news/jimmy_kimmels_iphone_5_prank_hilariously_depressing

      0 0
  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Interviewer: Thursday Why?

    Interviewee: Well you know, iPhone 5 is the most amazing.. BEST Apple product everrr!

    I feel sorry for him, I truly do. I hope that they would release an App to help me get along with his life!

    10 1
    1. g e
      Reply Icon
      Holmes

      He's right, it is the best Apple phone thing everrrrrr

      Just not the best phone thing everrrrrr

      9 1
    2. Andrew Moore
      Reply Icon

      Reminds me of South Park

      Cartman: "It does email and web browsing and s**ts in Kyle's mouth? This is the greatest thing ever invented."

      HumanCentiPad.

      4 0
  11. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    So what?

    Even the supposed-to-be-cynical El Reg falls for fake Apple stories. (E.g. The screw story)

    1 4
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So what?

      You mean this one?

      http://www.reghardware.com/2012/08/09/apple_said_to_be_redesigning_idevice_screws_again/

      Which part does The Reg fall for it?

      8 0
  12. wowfood

    How many americans

    Are now going to go "holy shit" buy an iPhone and then attempt to sue either Apple or Fox for not delivering the laser keyboard and holographic images.

    10 0
    1. g e
      Reply Icon
      Pint

      Re: How many americans

      Popcorn icon still needed!

      Pint instead

      2 1
    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: How many americans

      Let's do a little calculating on the back of this envelope:

      Republicans watch Fox and they constitute approximately 40% of Americans,

      Of Republicans, some 50% are impoverished religious fanatics unable to afford an iPhone,

      And 30% are tinfoil hat wearing paranoids unlikely to use mobile phones,

      Which leaves us with (at most) 7% of the population, or about 21 million who will believe this broadcast equivalent of the Sun.

      Anon because the Republicans are also gun-totin' NRA members.

      3 0
  13. teapot9999
    WTF?

    WTF

    Is there anything you will not publish if it has iPhone5 in the title?

    I have an iPhone 4, I want an iPhone 5, but I do not want to read ever piece of crap about it

    1 11
    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Re: WTF

      yet you did..... and you even took the time to comment on the article!

      17 0
    2. Asiren
      Reply Icon
      Trollface

      Re: WTF

      Is there anything you won't read if it has iPhone 5 in the title?

      You want an iPhone 5, and will read every piece of crap published about it, but it's the Reg's fault that you're wasting your time.

      Riiiiiiiiight...

      9 0
      1. teapot9999
        Reply Icon

        Re: WTF

        yeah, good point :o

        6 0
  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fox would not have been caught out like this ....

    ... had they used the iPhone 5's built in Internet bullshit detector

    3 0
    1. Peter 48
      Reply Icon

      Re: Fox would not have been caught out like this ....

      Nice idea in principle, but seeing as this is fox news, the bullshit detector would have burn't out after one day anyway, rendering it useless.

      1 0
    2. Robert Helpmann??
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      Childcatcher

      Re: Fox would not have been caught out like this ....

      That would have been as helpful as a compass at the North Pole.

      2 0
    3. Robert E A Harvey
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      Re: Fox would not have been caught out like this ....

      I have a mental picture of people walking through the door at Fox and their phones exploding in thier pockets.

      1 0

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