"an unnamed man in Darwin"
Can't think of a better named place for this to happen.
Many of us - most, perhaps - have carelessly spoken of putting a rocket up someone's backside. But now, a pioneering Australian researcher has shown that in fact this would be a highly unwise act: not only would the recipient of the combustibles be unlikely to be galvanised into helpful activity, he or she might also wind up in …
Can't think of a better named place for this to happen.
Took the words right out of my mouth.
Do we know which end he inserted?
Probably doesn't matter. Flame comes out of the bottom (of the rocket) to get it to height, then it blows the sparkly bits out of the top. Paraphrasing the 'B' Ark marketeers, either way he gets anally inserted fire...
Still no Rocket Science icon...
"Flame comes out of the bottom"
I now have spaghetti all over my keyboard and monitor... Thanks!
Did the conflagration in his nether regions affect his ability to procreate?
Sounds like a potential Darwin award candidate if so.
Exactly my thoughts - we should be told.
Oh, and pictures or it didn't happen.
Why do I have the feeling I'm not the only one with tears in his eyes in this affair (albeit for different reasons)..
Correction. Playmobil or it didn't happen
That may depend on what he used as a fuse
Funny how "burn" and "bum" go together so well.
Apparently the mistake most people make when shooting rockets out of their arse is to clench when the hot rocket exhaust hits their delicate skin, preventing the rocket from departing skywards.
I'm assuming this guy didn't actually put the rocket in backwards or he'd have probably blown his arse off instead of scorching it a bit, but the story seems a little unclear on that point...
"blown his arse off" - brilliant.
I think he was lucky. Imaging the involuntary clench would have added some intestinal gas to the proceedings..
Talk about going out with a bang..
I've seen the video of one guy getting a scorched scrote from unexpected anal clampage.
I've heard it is possible using the tube from a pen round the stick (like launching from a bottle, but not quite as wide or difficult to get into position) and using Vaseline as a protection against the initial sparks, but don't know anyone stupid enough to test the idea
Oh yeah! Vasseline for protection??? It's petroleum jelly. That's like spreading napalm on your jewels.
Granted you have to warm the vasseline up but a rocket exhaust at several hundred degrees (even hotter if its a zinc based motor) will have no problem.
Pictures, or it didn't happen
Brilliant. Especially the rocket going PoP at the end, as an afterthought.
Technically Northern Territory is considered a Federal Territory rather than a State. Territory Day is great fun though - some years ago, I accidentally set fire to part of a golf course in Darwin with errant fireworks.
You've got a golf course on your arse? That's quite unusual in this country.
That's an awfully big arse.
You never know what you'll find down under...
Mine's a new keyboard AND Nexus S!
"may have to be airlifted to a specialist Australian burns " excellent!
£the existence of this burns unit is heartwarming" priceless
An d from Darwin too! Just too apt.
The guy (or is that Guy? Haha) is lucky to be alive but the report writing deserves a prize
I think you are confused...
It's called a burns unit because they feed you nothing but haggis and read Scots poetry all the time
Having removed a significant part of his posterior, this does lead to some interesting put-downs if he ever gets back to work (if indeed he has a job).
Poor workmanship can now be greeted quite legitimately with a cheery "well, that's a bit of a half-arsed job, isn't it?"
Laziness with "what's the matter? Could you not be arsed?"
Tomfoolery with "stop arsing about!"
a put down will have to do ....
I found those jokes to be in poor form. I'm afraid they hit something of a bum note with me.
I can imagine the poor man being the butt of many jokes.
I think the problem was excess warming in other areas.
>the existence of this burns unit is heartwarming
So you worked where? - I can't quite make this out..
..Ok - the Australian Rocket Scorched Epidermis Centre for Really Awfully Cooked sKin..
Oh, Ok then thanks!
I imagine Darwin in Australia must need one of those more than other places.
Does anyone else find it worrying that Australia has (or requires?) a unit specialising in injuries of this nature?
Hmm. I imagine it^s a place where one is tortured by recordings of bad Scots dialect poetry in an Australian accent, with Scottish bagpipes and non-stop haggis for tea.
nah, part of our ethnicity. lots of stuff burns here, trees, tempers, ground in summer.
Because OCR software will sometimes interpret "burns" as "bums", fun can be had with a google search for "third degree bums" and suchlike. You know, if it's a slow day at the office...
No fucking shit!
You forgot the Sherlock icon!!!
> No f***ing s**t!
Yes, that might be a problem too.
Or a very painful one.
Or Methanol? Either way, it appears one smart arse nearly blew his brains out.
There certainly weren't any in the other end.
Inquiring minds want to know..
God, I'll be here all week. It still gets me laughing, hahaha.
Reminds me of the time when a rival rugby club was persuaded to attempt the "Dance of the flaming arseholes" using Izal Medicated rather than the traditional puppy-based paper. That stuff burns FAST. The smell of scorched arse hair nearly put us off our pies.
Some nutter Mackem from Sunderland did this several years ago - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/6132140.stm with a Black Cat Thunderbolt....
dont think I would ever be that pissed...
No. Blew it to bits!
Does anyone remember this? An early-90s variety show called Packing them In. Chris Lynham:
- Dances naked
- With a firework up his arse
- Singing "There's no business like show business"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBo7-YoVDEw [WARNING! NSFW! In fact, not safe for eyes - mod]
Its actually featured in one of the jackass video's where they launch a rocket from steve-o's ass. Plus the viral's from ebaumsworld which is far far far funnier because the guy clenches and has a mis-launch :)
No, no, no. The idea is that you simply have a nice lunch of beans and onions, and then proceed to light the resulting "gas". Yes, it does work, I've seen it. And, be very careful which way that thing is pointed!
A Non Ymous
Am I the only showtune queen to think of "Cool" from West Side Story?
I live in the desert; I'll get my shoes.
What a dumb-ass
"Ever considered putting a rocket up someone's backside?"
Yes. Hasn't everyone?
This is what I refer to the kitchen as when my wife is in there practising the culinary arts.
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