so we're all agreed on this one then....
KILL AMERICANS and save the world.
A famous mad professor who has previously called for Britons to starve their children into dwarfism so as to ease strains on the planetary ecosystem has reiterated his arguments, this time insisting that the amount of surplus flab carried by the human race will soon be equivalent to having another half-a-billion people on Earth …
Good luck with that, if American's are 6% but account for 34% of the biomass then the rest of the world has an average weight of an obese large breed house cat.
6% account for 34% means 94% account for 66%. (34/6)/(66/94) ~= 8. The average adult in the USA weight about 200 lbs. An chubby main coon (large house cat) weighs 25 pounds.
This is like 'Poverty in the UK', which is defined as a certain percentage of the median income. One result of this is that there will always be some people in the UK defined as being 'in poverty', presumably because they don't have a flat screen TV.
It also means that if the high end income distribution changes, the median income drops, the 'poverty line' is hence lower, and a certain number of people are 'lifted out of poverty', without increasing how much money they receive or what that money buys them.
If pervasive dieting "eases strains on the planetary ecosystem" then it's because of our finite resources. Finite resources mean our population can't grow indefinitely, and pervasive dieting would still not allow us to do so: it would only increase the number of people we can cram in here, and this guy seems to think we should try to cram in as many as we can.
Somebody should buy an island in some not very hospitable waters and deport all these nutcases and their families there, so that they could demonstrate on their own example how healthy and wonderful will the lifestyle they advocate be.
Added benefit - one can make a new reality TV show. Instead of eviction there will be extinction, though.
It's actually "34% of the world's biomass mass due to obesity". Which means, for N America, with it's population of ~529 million accounting for 34% of the worlds obesity biomass of 3.5M tons, that they're all 2.25kg "overweight". Hardly something to write such drivel of a publication about...
Here is how it was supposed to be announced:
18/9/2012 T.V. Flash on all Dial-A-Program Services
This is an announcement from Genetic Control:
"It is my sad duty to inform you of a four foot restriction on
Extract from conversation of Joe Ordinary in Local Puborama
"I hear the directors of Genetic Control have been buying all the
Properties that have recently been sold, taking risks oh so bold.
It's said now that people will be shorter in height,
They can fit twice as many in the same building site.
(they say it's alright),
Beginning with the tenants of the town of Harlow,
In the interest of humanity, they've been told they must go,
Told they must go-go-go-go."
I wonder how many people are completely baffled by this strand!* (I was immediately reminded of "Get Them Out by Friday" as soon as I read the headline!)
* It's a song on one of Genesis' early albums, "Foxtrot". Lyrics by Peter Gabriel, music by the whole team.
If you are so fat you have to drive everywhere, that's bad. If you are so fat that you can't leave your house without taking the door-frames out, then you will not be using fuel for transport, and that's good.
But seriously- I think much could be done to save on food wastage, rather than the food that is actually consumed. I remember an interview with the tennis player Martina Navratilova in which she said she has only eaten half of every meal served to her in a restaurant since she moved to the States- the rest she would take home and eat later. That struck me, because as a professional athlete, one would expect her to be expending more energy than most of her adopted compatriots.
They blame you for being killed on the roads, they blame you for getting fat, and they will blame you when the planet fries.
Well, considering the fact I'm a pedestrian, I've seen how stupid some people are, they'll walk out on a busy road without even looking, assuming that the car will stop.
It generally is your fault if you get fat, anyone who goes "oh its too hard to diet" is just lazy. I'm fat, I got that way by eating KFC every other day while at uni, and now i'm working on losing it. I don't blame KFC, its not their fault I love their chicken. It's mine.
And yes it will be my fault the planet fries... once my moon laser is complete.
The only thing I remotely agree on is the thing about cars. I don't think we shoudl get rid of them, but I do wish the government would put in more incentives for using biofuels or electric cars for use around town. The amount of parents driving SUVs to school is annoying as hell.
They could probably do with lowering the price of train fair too.
And one great idea I had long ago. Rent-a-car. Not the classic type but in big cities etc. You sign up to some rent-a-car service somewhere in the nation where you get an electric car for home. You want to go to london? Call the rent-a-car and book it through them, get the train to london, hop off, and in the car park would be a rent-a-car waiting for you, electric of course.
It'd be like that bike thing they're doing in london, only with electric cars.
"It generally is your fault if you get fat, anyone who goes "oh its too hard to diet" is just lazy. I'm fat, I got that way by eating KFC every other day while at uni, and now i'm working on losing it. I don't blame KFC, its not their fault I love their chicken. It's mine."
As a former fat man I find your self-hating attitude both depressing and offensive. Why can't you be jolly and full of life like the vast majority of fat people out there? Don't you see that by NOT blaming KFC you are saying all other fat people are to blame for being fat in general? You shouldn't stereotype like that, even indirectly. Oh and for what it's worth I only became bitter and resentful *after* I lost weight.
Instead of starving children into being short we could just breed for thinner
If perhaps the typical slightly rotund programmer could be paired with an over skinny super-model the average size of the offspring could be reduced gradually.
I commend this idea to the house.
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