back to article Windows Metro Maoist cadres reach desktop, pound it flat

The revolutionary dogma of Metro is sweeping through the old Windows desktop, too, a new leak of Window 8 confirms. The leaked build, newer than the public release of a fortnight ago, abandons the 3D design elements introduced into Windows in 1990 for a resolutely two-dimensional world. The 'legacy' desktop in Windows 8 is …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Oh sweet jesus...

    ...if that's real, what an utter fucking disaster windows 8 is going to be. I guess it might be finger friendly, but the vast majority of windows users are not going to be using their fingers any time soon. And besides, it's utterly retro, but not in a good way.

    1. jai

      Re: Oh sweet jesus...

      it's MetroRetro??? aka shite!

    2. Captain Hogwash Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Oh sweet jesus...

      You say retro, I say metro. Let's call the whole thing off.

    3. Circadian

      Re: Oh sweet jesus...

      "I guess it might be finger friendly" - where's the digitus impudicus icon when you need it?

    4. That Steve Guy
      FAIL

      Corporate suicide?

      That they are forcing this on the desktop makes me wonder what on earth they are thinking.

      Congratulations Microsoft, you have just pissed off the vast majority of your customer base in the vain hope to gain a puny market shart share in the world of Phones and Tablets.

      Is anybody taking bets on how long after the launch of WIn 8 Ballmer has to pack his bags?

      1. Zippy the Pinhead

        Re: Corporate suicide?

        I'm guessing somewhere about 3~6 months after initial sales figures come in.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Corporate suicide?

        No, this isn't really aimed at the corporate desktop, Microsoft will bring along a corporate aligned version very soon as is evident by the release candidate of Windows Server 2012 I've just finished installing.... hang on..... oh dear, that can't be right, ummm... nope, they're fucked!

    5. MonkeyBoyFan
      Happy

      Metro was designed by experts

      A good user interface is all about delivering content to the user, and the entire UI design team at Microsoft enthusiastically agrees that Metro provides a truly superior user experience. With regard to enterprise use, usability experts point out that productivity is impaired by trying to work on more than one thing at a time, and Metro is intended to prevent you from doing just that. 3D effects and the like simply distract from the app content, and aren't necessary when all applications run full-screen.

      Remember, Windows 8 and Metro were designed by Microsoft, the true experts in computing. While some users may initially complain about having to learn a better way to do things, Metro is poised to usher in a shiny new age of computing, merging the demands of content providers and enterprise managers.

      1. Doug Bostrom

        Re: Metro was designed by experts

        Remember, Windows 8 and Metro were designed by Microsoft, the true experts in computing.

        So -now- they're expert, having been ignorant for the past 20 years?

        Could use a dollop of coherence.

      2. Captain Save-a-ho
        Flame

        Re: Metro was designed by experts

        I predict that shortly after introducing Windows 8, Microsoft will fire every last, lousy, so-called expert who convinced them to treat all devices like a small phone screen.

        This isn't a new age of computing. It's fucking stupid.

      3. Tom Maddox Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Metro was designed by experts

        I see what you did there, unlike the people who downvoted you.

        1. Robert E A Harvey
          Happy

          @Tom Maddox Re: Metro was designed by experts

          Indeed. The nickname was a giveaway.

      4. Philip Lewis
        Devil

        Re: Metro was designed by experts

        The sarcasm is palpable

        1. Chika
          Devil

          Re: Metro was designed by experts

          Yeppers. That's why sarcasm works so well in text environments.

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "Experts" at what?

        I certainly hope this was intended as sarcasm!

        "Delivering content to the user"? "Merging the demands of content providers and enterprise managers"? That may be what someone else wants for my computer, but it certainly isn't my objective!

        1. Infernoz Bronze badge
          Alien

          Re: "Experts" at what?

          Taking the Pea. Typically known as Pea Artists :)

        2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
          Alien

          Re: "Experts" at what?

          Holy sh*t! In the darkness behind my LCD display, the rotating funnel of the near-marketing experience suddenly opened up and I could dimly see in its near-infinite depth, illuminated by the red color of glowing embers, a squamous yet ruguous arm, dressed in Armani, beckoning me on. Then I panicked and by utter force of will command my soul to return to base reality!!!

          I am afraid to go to sleep.

          1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
            Boffin

            Re: "Experts" at what?

            Marketing.

      6. Blitterbug
        Thumb Up

        Re: Metro was designed by experts

        Awsome trollage, MonkeyBoy!

      7. BitDr
        Angel

        Re: Metro was designed by experts

        WHEW! You almost had me there. Of course you weren't serious were you MonkeyBoyFan, you gotta be smarter than that. Perhaps the MS UI designers are frustrated GNOME 3.0 UI devs. It is so obviously a mistake to think that we came all this way, multiple windows, perhaps on multiple screens, just to return to one screen, one task.

      8. Mephistro Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Metro was designed by experts

        Some info for the downvoters.

        You're welcome.

        1. little

          Re: Metro was designed by experts

          fixed it for you : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcasm

        2. Semaj
          Headmaster

          Re: Metro was designed by experts

          I think you meant: http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/sarcasm?q=sarcasm

          Irony is great though and it's ironic how often it's misused.

      9. BernieC
        Thumb Up

        Re: Metro was designed by experts

        Crap, you had me there. I down voted and then realised I was an idiot. Well played sir, well played.

      10. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Metro was designed by experts

        How many of the downvoters on this comment think that irony is like gold-y or bronze-y?

      11. Grivas Bo Diddly Harm
        Pint

        @ MonkeyBoyFan - Re: Metro was designed by experts

        I've left a drink at the bar for you, sir, along with an upvote.

        I believe your favourite tipple might be *sake*?

        Cheers,

        G

    6. Wade Burchette
      Boffin

      Re: Oh sweet jesus...

      "I guess it might be finger friendly"

      Can you guess which finger I will be using with Windows 8? Since Microsoft seems to be soft in the head lately, I will give them a hint. It is the finger between my index finger and ring finger.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Oh sweet jesus...

        They already recreated Program Manager (new start menu) and now they've gone and recreated the graphics experience of Windows 3.1

        My prediction, they'll get rid of the task bar in the next release candidate.

        ; )

        1. RAMChYLD
          Boffin

          Re: Oh sweet jesus...

          Recreated Program Manager? More like took a few steps back from Program Manager. At least Program Manager supported grouping icons into categories. I don't see it happening with Metro.

          That said, without all the 3D bling, at least systems will run cooler and be able to put more juice into the programs running. I personally shunned Aero and still use Classic in the face of 7, because it frees up GPU cycles which I can then put towards getting more FPS out of the running game. Plus, I'm using 64-bit Windows. There's a nasty exploit that targets Aero on x64 platforms that MS wasn't arsed to fix.

    7. Turtle

      Re: Oh sweet jesus...

      "the vast majority of windows users are not going to be using their fingers any time soon"

      Having seen this, I can tell you which finger *I'll* be using...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How to make people use MetroUI

    Make classic desktop even crappier.

    Clearly, Microsoft NEED you to use MetroUI, as they want to sell you applications...

  3. Forget It

    Who needs gradients.

    It nice to have the raised button effect though - MS shouldn't kill that - especially for the top-right of the window.

    1. MD Rackham

      As long as...

      As long as the shutdown button is easy to find I'll be happy.

      1. Dale Richards
        FAIL

        Re: As long as...

        Finding the shutdown button took me about 10 minutes in the Win8 Consumer Preview. I'm still not entirely sure I'd found the right one, as it seemed to have been tacked onto some obscure settings pane hidden away in the darker recesses of Metro.

      2. Blitterbug
        Happy

        Re: Shutdown button

        ...I believe you'll find it on the front of your pooter...

        Seriously, why does everyone I know waste time and effort navigating to an off-screen control to do this?

        1. ChrisC

          Re: Shutdown button

          Because it saves time and effort the next time you boot Windows, especially if it was expecting to have been shut down correctly in order to finish installing the latest round of updates...

          1. Matt 5
            FAIL

            Re: Shutdown button

            Are you complete novice? Hitting the shutdown button on the machine doesn't turn the machine off, it just triggers a normal shutdown as if you'd clicked the shutdown option anyway.

            Don't talk while the adults are talking little one, you'll keep embarrassing yourself. You and the idiots who up-voted you.

          2. Joe Montana
            WTF?

            Re: Shutdown button

            Pressing the power button once on modern machines sends an ACPI signal to the OS telling it to shut down gracefully... It doesn't actually remove the power unless you hold it down for 10 seconds or more.

            1. ChrisC
              FAIL

              Here's your fail icon back, I think you need it more than I do...

              Oh dear, would you like to try writing that again, after you've first learned some manners, and then refreshed your memory of the Windows control panel. Specifically that part of it which allows the user to control what a short-press on the power button translates into... clue, it won't always behave the way you seem to think it will.

              1. Blitterbug
                Meh

                Re: Here's your fail icon back, I think you need it more than I do...

                @ChrisC

                Power button = ordered shutdown since 1995(ish). Only Vista machines (pre-SP2) put the machine to sleep rather than power down when you hit the tit. MS did this during the early days of Vista when they had inadvisedly told everyone that Vista would boot faster than XP on the same hardware, then found this was actually impossible.

                They corrected this fail in Windows 7. tbh, any Reg readers who don't as a matter of course check their power settings (and those of family members, etc) to ensure they work as expected really deserve the extra effort to have to hunt for a UI shutdown option!

          3. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

            Re: Shutdown button

            Because it saves time and effort the next time you boot Windows, especially if it was expecting to have been shut down correctly in order to finish installing the latest round of updates...

            Umm, you are aware that a short press of that button starts a normal shutdown by almost any modern OS unless you manually reconfigure that behaviour? Holding it in longer will indeed simply nuke the power, with all the consequences for any system that doesn't use a journaling file system..

            1. Blitterbug
              Happy

              Re: Shutdown button

              Thanks, Fred - shame you didn't upvote my orig comment! (only kidding, I love to bring on the hate etc...)

          4. Blitterbug
            Unhappy

            Re: Shutdown button

            @ChrisC

            Words fail me...

        2. Thing
          FAIL

          Re: Shutdown button

          Not on my laptop it ain't. Which means I have to walk over to my tv (I use a wireless keyboard/mouse) open the lid, press the power button, close the lid than replace the laptop.

          I for one used the sodding on-screen power button.

      3. Stoneshop Silver badge

        Re: As long as...

        It's on the front of your computer.

      4. Robert E A Harvey

        Re: As long as...

        will alt-R, cmd, shutdown -s still work?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @REA Harvey - "shutdown -s"

          Yes.

          <WIndows Key>+R, "shutdown -s" does the job. That saved me some screwing around, thanks.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Windows

          @Robert

          That would be 'win-R'.

  4. JDX Gold badge

    I like Aero

    cool widgets and so on anyway. Have they removed the additional functionality Aero brought, or only the styling aspects of window themes?

  5. jai

    wtf?

    Is there anyone actually doing anything at Microsoft? Or do all these design decisions get made by a computer algorithm and everyone is too scared to stand up and say "that's rubbish!!!"

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