back to article ISS 'nauts take to the escape pods in Russian sat-prang debris peril

'Nauts crewing the International Space Station were forced to take to the escape capsules over the weekend, as a chunk of wreckage from a mysterious satellite collision in 2009 hurtled towards the orbiting outpost. Fortunately as it turned out the speeding fragment passed by more than 11km from the station. Normally the ISS …

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  1. Oliver Mayes

    Do they carry out the drills in the proper way? With red lights flashing everywhere, a siren going off and a computerised voice instructing everyone to abandon ship?

  2. KrisM
    Alert

    don't forget the self destruct

    No self respecting space faring ship/station has every been abandoned without a lengthy process to initiate self destruct, and then having an ominous computer countdown to annihilation as everyone scrambles to get off the ship/station. Usually results in an individual cancelling self destruct with seconds to go...

    make for a nice firework display but probably would not help the debris field issue up there!

  3. BenR
    Mushroom

    Self-Destruct Voice: Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button. This ship will self-destruct in exactly two minutes and forty-five seconds.

    President Skroob: You've got to stop it. Is there any way to stop it?

    Colonel Sandurz: I can't - it's irreversible.

    President Skroob: Like my raincoat!

    ------------------------------------

    Self-Destruct Voice: Ten... nine... eight... six...

    President Skroob: Six? What happened to seven?

    Self-Destruct Voice: Just kidding!

    President Skroob, Colonel Sandurz, Dark Helmet: [They growl in annoyance]

    Self-Destruct Voice: [Skroob, Sandurz, and Helmet are mouthing the numbers alone with the recording] Six... five... four... three... two... one...

    [they close their eyes and grimace]

    Self-Destruct Voice: Have a nice day.

    President Skroob, Colonel Sandurz, Dark Helmet: [open their eyes] Thank you.

    [They close them again]

  4. TeeCee Gold badge

    <SIRENBELLHORN>

    Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Please call me Eddie if it will help you relax.

  5. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Mushroom

    I vote for the computerized harbinger of doom from "Aliens"

    "You now have eleven minutes to get to minimum safe distance".....

  6. Mike Flugennock

    a proper drill?

    Naahhh... as I recall, everybody knows their job and, in the event of an evacuation emergency, just does it, without any klaxons or flashing lights or robot voices or anything. Kind of a disappointment, really.

  7. Mike Flugennock
    Thumb Up

    MOVIE SIGN....!

    I vote for the computerized harbinger of doom from "Aliens"

    "You now have eleven minutes to get to minimum safe distance"...

    Actually, I always loved the sudden outbreak of chaos when the flashing lights and buzzer alarm sounded for "movie sign" aboard the ship on MST3K.

  8. cliveski
    Alert

    Step up to Red Alert!

    Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

  9. joeW
    Alert

    Forget Red

    Let's go all the way up to Brown Alert!

  10. ravenviz Silver badge
    Joke

    Space junk

    Should of asked the Chinese to blow it up

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    (H) Purple alert! Purple alert!

    (L) What`s a purple alert?

    (H) Well, it`s not as bad as a red alert, but a bit worse than a blue alert... sort of a mauve alert.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Holly: Rude alert! Rude alert! An electrical fire has knocked out my

    voice-recognition unicycle! Many Wurlitzers are missing from my

    database! Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil! Repeat: This is

    not a daffodil!

    Rimmer: Well, thankfully, Holly's unaffected.

  13. arrbee
    Coat

    oh no, marooned in space !

  14. NogginTheNog
    Coat

    Escape pods

    Awww, I wanted them to launch and then crash land in the Tatooine - sorry Sahara desert!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Escape pods

    Escape pods

    Awww, I wanted them to launch and then crash land in the Tatooine - sorry Sahara desert!

    .......which would inevitably result in "combing the desert"

    http://filmfreakcentral.net/dvdreviews/spaceballscap.jpg

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