Blue Lights Of Death
For the last few months, Microsoft has been working with auto shop West Coast Customs to build the ultimate Windows-powered muscle car, and have taken the design so far that even the most ostentatious rapper might say "Steady on," possibly adding a "Yo" or two. The team of mechanics took an off-the-shelf 2012 Mustang and …
Blue Lights Of Death
And when it breaks down and you call tech support, they'll tell you to close all the windows, get out, get back in, and see if the problem hasn't fixed itself.
If that doesn't work, try taking out the engine and reinstalling it...
... using the box of replacement parts we sent you last Tuesday.
One hopes the antilock brakes, at least, are not being run by Windows.
Can you get the updated drivers?
Of course you can. It runs on Windows, not Linux.
Oh come on. Someone had to say it......
Only available in White, double the price and half the spec. Comes with free beachball.
...just like Windows 8!
That is freakin' sweet. Ugly as hell, but sweet nontheless...
... where Trevor (and the rest at the fawning-over-blue desk) got that disposition for causing caries over the internet.
Personally I like to stay well away from large heavy objects capable of moving at high speed but also prone to becoming uncontrollable due to BSOD. It's happened before, you know. Hope they have scratch monkeys to spare.
I totally agree.
Remember that US warship out on sea trials that had to be towed back to port?
Just like Windows 8
Is a box van - not as pretty, but a lot cheaper and gets the job done.
Or it could be a Lotus Elise with a VAG Turbot engine under the clamshell - because you can switch and swop pretty much any part you have the time and inclination for.
Well, perhaps not a Lotus. Maybe a BMW, well known for having driver problems, natch.
(PS: it's a joke, it's a joke...)
Not as pretty?
*cough* Compiz *cough*
VAG Turbot engine? Sounds a bit fishy to me.
I like your thinking. Sod laser-equipped sharks, 400bhp turbot are the way to go.
Well... I have to admit it embodies the style and grace of Microsoft design... mores the pity.
.................look like the acme of restrained and stylish good taste!
While the rest of us pray that it won't, because we can all imagine the mayhem that a fleet of such road rage-inducing BSODding bugheaps would create - and I'm not talking about the blue lights.
but I like it
reminds me of the joke around the 'new' windows in '99.
They're gonna call it Windows Diana. It's superficially pretty and you just know it's going to end in a horrible crash.
Flame away, but I like it!
Mainly based on the body and paint colour.
A UK version is required!
Now, where can I get a Cortina Mk1 GT?
Is it me, or does it remind you of an Alienware laptop? - Overstyled, and overpriced.
(btw, I had the displeasure to drive a convertible Mustang in 2007 on a beautiful winding mountain road. Eeek, that is one sluggish, unresponsive and extremely gas guzzling motorized wheelbarrow. You can see why MS thought it was a good branding fit)
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five per cent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your cr would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
>> 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Ironically, that is now actually the case in many cars.
I've ALWAYS used the "ignition" key to shut off the engine. That particular Car vs Windows joke has always bugged me.
GM maybe has a point, especially when that joke was circulating around.
But then GM went bankrupt, and Microsoft didn't.
I heard that the live axle still runs DOS.
and if you put anything other than Microsoft (r) fuel in it coughs and splutters, fuel consumption takes a dive, your boot (trunk) won't open anymore and your passenger seat becomes inaccessible.
Yes because MS are very strict on what hardware and software you can use on Windows. Come on at least try a bit with these...
Let's see what The Stig makes of it!
Shouldn't they have done this with a mass transit passenger system? You know like a...... Metro?
... has only one kernel/engine, and better security......runs on diesel also.
However, you have to build your own from nothing and you need to be a degree-qualified engineer to turn it on.
I'll happily have the replica '67 shell on top of the brand new 'stang. They can keep the rest of the crap.
If the driver dies, does the screen turn blue?
The Apple version will not require a steering wheel, will just be pre-programmed with routes to Starbucks and Abercrombie & Fitch :D
The Win 7 Starter version of this car:
* Looks like exactly the same model apart from the missing blue lighting
* Contains a tape player rather than CD/DVD player
* Speed limited to 50mph
* Not allowed to fit alloys or add any accessories to the cabin
* When you start the motor the dashboard displays a button you can click to pay for an upgrade that allows you to get past these limitations.
I heard you liked the Simpsons episode "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?".
- It'll be based on a silver Audi TT (preferably the first version).
- You have to grip the steering wheel "just so", otherwise you'd be holding it wrong (and the engine would choke)
- It'll be more power efficient, but you can't drive and run the GPS at the same time.
- You are not allowed to go everywhere, just the pre-approved spots.
- You are not allowed to put anything in the trunk yourself. You are given a gadget that will package and put things in the trunk for you.
- The seats are pre-adjusted, you can't move them yourself.
- It is held together with specially made bolts that require specialist equipment.
And I was never a fan of the Mustang - I prefer something more S2000.
But this publicity stunt is so in your face, so American in its brashness I kinda like it. It was made to attract attention -no matter what-, and it's fit for that purpose.
I actually wonder why they didn't use on of those monstrous road going ships they call a SUV across the pond - maybe it's because Microsoft would be outbling'ed by some rapper in about 2 hours.
The windows down, some heavy beat coming from the thing as it slowly cruises up the main drag, the guy behind the wheel (for it will be a guy) will be smug in his own arrival at the nirvana of Blue LEDness while the rest of think what a complete and utter W@n**r!
It will have a personalised number plate.
Evolution, why did we ever stop.
Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017