back to article Teen net addicts pee in bottles to stay glued to WoW

British youngsters have become so addicted to the internet that they will relieve themselves into bottles rather than step away from their screens to visit the lav, reports the, er, Sun. It is online multiplayer games such as World Of Warcraft that are coming between children and the toilet, with addictive game play …

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  1. Lee Dowling Silver badge

    My only comment:

    There's only one thing to say about this:

    Where the hell is/are the parent(s)?

    Everything else is moot in the face of that question.

    1. Jedit
      FAIL

      "Where the hell are the parents?"

      I imagine they are reading that bastion of truth and morality, The Sun.

      1. Yag
        Facepalm

        eek!

        First read that as "Where the hell are the patents?"

        I should stop reading all those patent-trolling related articles...

        1. Thomas 4
          FAIL

          Indeed.

          This article also has the whiff of someone being trolled. I've known some pretty hardcore WoW players in my time but not one of them has ever done stuff like that. Next we'll be hearing how sweet little Timmy from the Home Counties whores himself out every evening to pay for Farmville items.

    2. Ru

      Playing the same game in the other room

      Like as not.

    3. Chris Byers

      Hey! It's 3am. I'm not getting up ;)

    4. Graham Wilson
      Flame

      @ Lee Dowling - It's not only a teens problem.

      It's not only a teens problem, I know of several over-60s with the same internet and game addiction and, to make matters worse, their bladders aren't as efficient as a teenager's.

      Internet addiction is a much more serious problem than generally acknowledged although that fact ought to be obvious even to Blind Freddy. Today, one only has to be a vehicle driver to have good anecdotal information to that effect. How many times have you had to make an emergency stop when some iPhone-addicted person blindly walks out onto a roadway in front of you whilst texting?

      It's not only people walking onto roadways, in just about any endeavour known to humankind you'll see people whose eyes are glued to their smartphones as if their life depended on it.

      Incidentally, I've avoided such annoyances by having both internet and texting services turned off at the telco, my cellphone is just that--a voice phone (life is much more peaceful).

      1. Oninoshiko
        Boffin

        What is addiction?

        "Any activity, substance, object, or behavior that has become the major focus of a person's life to the exclusion of other activities, or that has begun to harm the individual or others physically, mentally, or socially is considered an addictive behavior. A person can become addicted, dependent, or compulsively obsessed with anything."

        -- Ruth C. Engs, RN, EdD. Professor, Applied Health Science, Indiana University (http://www.indiana.edu/~engs/hints/addictiveb.html)

        I don't know many (any?) people who would pee in a bottle to keep gaming. As far as timing of game sessions goes, I question if waking up early and gaming for a bit qualifies. I would say it does if, and only if, work/school is compromised... I'm not convinced this article established that in cases where the "addict" was getting up early morning to play.

        I have gamed early morning, mostly I'm kinda annoyed to be up that early and unable to sleep. I'm mostly a night person, but, due to call, sometimes have my sleeping patterns disrupted. Nothing open, can't go get a coffee... nothing on TV (is there ever anymore?)... don't want to bother anyone (I'm not QUITE that rude)... so I either stare at the ceiling, or go through the normal hygiene routine and play until it's time to go to the office.

        I've also texted at inappropriate times, I'll admit it (not an iPhone though, just the company-provided BB). In almost all cases, the person who was texting me was my boss. So, maybe my life didn't depend on it, but not being on the dole did.

    5. h3

      re Lee Dowling

      At 3am the parent will be most likely asleep.

      1. The BigYin

        @h3

        At 3am, wee Timmy should find that his PC is be blocked by the firewall.

        1. jonathanb Silver badge

          Wee Timmy knows a lot more about firewalls than his parents do.

      2. Dropper

        Asleep?

        I doubt they're asleep. Most parents I know would be farming Elementium at 3am.

    6. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

      Simple

      They are thinking whilst he/she is playing that they aren't bothering me.

      Its the governments fault they allow games like this

      1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
        Facepalm

        EEK

        I meant They would probably say "Its the governments fault they allow games like this" and not "Its the governments fault they allow games like this"

    7. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The one thing to say is...

      If they've been fondling their bits to do the bizzo, they then start touching the keyboard/mouse straight afterward without having washed their hands?!

    8. Dropper
      Boffin

      Where?

      It depends what you mean by 'where'. Mostly like they are on the same server, but occasionally a parent will roll for a different faction to keep their objectivity when disciplining their kids for hogging too much WoW bandwidth. If you mean 'where at 3am', my best guess would be farming mats or playing rated battlegrounds.

  2. Chris Miller

    "Drawing on her experience as a clinical psychologist"

    Should be: Drawing on her experience as a presenter of rubbish TV. I'm sure she's a noble ornament to that fine institution the University of Ormskirk and not in any way angling for or promoting a new series.

    1. It wasnt me
      WTF?

      Indeed...

      " Professor of the Public Understanding of Science at Edge Hill University"

      Seriously, wtf does that mean? Nothing, I should know. Im a Professor of Spotting Made Up Bullshit Titles at the University of Worthless and Meaningless Qualifications.

      She's a proper muppet that one.

      1. Chris Miller

        Obviously I agree with 'muppet', but you should be aware that there are genuine chairs of 'Understanding Science'. At Oxford, Marcus de Sautoy succeeded Richard Dawkins in the Charles Simonyi chair, and Jim Al-Khalili occupies a similar chair (Public Engagement in Science) at Surrey. But they're at real, rather than pretend, universities.

  3. Ian Stephenson Silver badge
    Trollface

    Disgusting

    Havent they heard of catheters?

    Just run the line straight to the loo and as they say job jobbed....

    err no that doesnt sound right either.....

    1. Peter Murphy
      WTF?

      It's going to get worse, you know.

      In the future, there will be gamers who think peeing is not hardcore enough. They'll just hook themselves up to dialysis machines.

      1. Ian Stephenson Silver badge
        Coat

        Why not go the whole hog?

        IV feeding, colostomy and catheter

        BI2BO

        Bag in - 2 bags out

        Mines the one with "Colostomy? It's not my bag!" written across the back.

    2. Graham Wilson
      Thumb Up

      @ Ian Stephenson - A commercial livelihood methinks.

      Check in up and coming IT catalogs, it'll probably be the next big thing in computing. After all, these days it's a desperately needed IT accessory.

      An advanced/more efficient model wouldn't need the line to the loo. Its heating arrangement would vaporize the waste. The greenhouse-producing water vapour would be vented directly to the air and the solids--urea, caffeine, pot and other recreational drug byproducts--to a container labeled "To be emptied into the backyard once a year by Mother".

      >;-)

      1. Richard 120
        Terminator

        And we're one step closer to the matrix

    3. Toastan Buttar
      Terminator

      Texas Catheter

      As employed by Case in Neuromancer when "jacking-in" for hours on end.

  4. Cosmo
    Devil

    Go one further like Cartman

    Do what Cartman did in South Park, and get your Mum to hold the bed pan for you whilst you do a number 2

    1. Natural7

      Well played cosmo.

      I came onto here to be the first to suggest her research was actually just a south park episode....

      well not JUST a south park episode, probably the best south park episode!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Getting assistance? Amateur.

      I have one word for you: 'poopsocking'.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Old

    We did this playing LAN games, 15 years or so ago. And I'm sure I've heard this story in relation to Chinese cybercafes before on the Reg.

  6. dotdavid
    WTF?

    Desk job

    "Brits' screen-break aversion doesn't bode well for desk job future"

    What, your employer doesn't make you do that?

    *Angry glare at boss*

  7. TwistUrCapBack
    Stop

    wait

    Whats the issue ?? I regularly p!ss into a bottle while im reading elreg ..

    1. horse of a different colour

      Indeed. I often pee in a bottle whilst sitting on the toilet.

      1. The Fuzzy Wotnot
        Pint

        Oh so it's you! If I get fooled one more time by those full Rose bottles I keeping finding there....

        1. Ian Stephenson Silver badge
          WTF?

          Rose????

          If you can't tell by looking something is seriously wrong.......

  8. MJI Silver badge

    Luckily there are gaps

    Most of the multiplayers I do have between match gaps long enough to have a wee.

    But then I have a 90 minute limit before I need a break anyway.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If anyone says that's taking the p***, that's it, I'm leaving.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Umm

      Well it is taking the p***! Literally, into a bottle.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Right then, you said it. I'm leaving.

        Back in a minute :)

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rather Like Campanologists then

    i.e. Bellringers

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This isn't new.

    When I was at school we relentlessly took the piss out of someone who got found to do this when playing final fantasy 7.

    1. Toastan Buttar
      Unhappy

      ...and what did you do with it once you'd taken it out of him?

    2. Mike 29
      Happy

      I call shenanigans

      You could pee, make a coffee and change the oil in the family car in the time it took ff7 to animate the summons in one round.

  12. nexsphil

    life sux. wow all the way.

    Perhaps if we hadn't made such a hair-ripping nightmare out of our miserable lives, a digital getaway wouldn't be so alluring.

    1. ArmanX

      Or perhaps...

      Perhaps if everyone would quit wasting their time on their digital imaginary paradises, this miserable existence wouldn't be so miserable? Even just a few minutes in the sun makes you feel better than than hours of video games...

      Solution: we need more outdoor LAN parties.

  13. Pete 2 Silver badge

    So much for individualism

    Any parent knows that the hardest thing in the world is to persuade a teen to get out of bed. Yet here we have at least 2 kids who are so motivated by something that they'll voluntarily haul themselves out of the pit (while hopefully not tripping over bottles of stale pee - hey, if it was good enough for Howard Hughes ....) at 3 a.m. to partake of an activity with other, like-minded, people.

    Rather than praise their dedication, determination and competitive spirit, she chooses to scoff at their choice of entertainment and criticise their methods of maximising their participation. I can't help wondering if this lady is guilty of a huge double standard: taking the errr, "mick" out of games players yet admiring sports-people who spend much more of each day (and are prepared to suffer more) fulfilling their obsession for equally fleeting successes and rewards.

    Maybe she should be less concerned with forcing normative behaviours on children and look instead at how this enthusiasm (or obsession?) can be harnessed into something a bit more constructive than passing comments on how other people spend their time?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "I can't help wondering if this lady is guilty of a huge double standard: taking the errr, "mick" out of games players yet admiring sports-people who spend much more of each day (and are prepared to suffer more) fulfilling their obsession"

      Paula Radcliff dropped a puddle in the middle of a race but gets millions in sponsorship deals, so the reward is worth the pain, effort and embarrassment. Sitting in your own room, not being paid, and putting yourself through a similar experience for fun is just plain crazy behaviour, it's also disgusting and pure lazyness. The games players in this situation, and keeping the running theme, are the equivalent of your dad whipping out his old chap in the middle of the parents race at a sports day rather than professional sportsperson in a competitive race.

      1. david wilson

        @Micky1

        >>"Paula Radcliff dropped a puddle in the middle of a race but gets millions in sponsorship deals, so the reward is worth the pain, effort and embarrassment.

        ...

        The games players in this situation, and keeping the running theme, are the equivalent of your dad whipping out his old chap in the middle of the parents race at a sports day rather than professional sportsperson in a competitive race."

        So sport is only worth doing if you make money out of it?

        I guess that makes the vast majority of amateur sportspeople pathetic timewasters.

        And as for the 'embarrassment' side, why should people be embarrassed about something they do in private? It'd be a bit different if they were doing it in a room with loads of other people in.

        And what's the big deal about pissing in a bottle anyway, as long as you don't start making a collection, or get the bottle mixed up with one you're going to drink out of?

        FFS, urine is effectively filtered processed blood, and most people's blood, mine included, is good enough to remove and put into ill people to help make them better. It doesn't become magically evil as a result of passing through the kidneys.

        While somebody else's might be unappealing, my own is unlikely to do me any harm.

        Ever been alone in a tent in the middle of the night in wild weather when the choice is:

        a) get dressed, get out of tent, get soaked, get in tent dripping wet, get undressed, try and find somewhere to put soaking wet jacket.

        b) get bottle, use bottle, stick hand outside and empty bottle (or leave until morning)

        believe me, b) is a much nicer option.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @David Wilson

          >Ever been alone in a tent in the middle of the night in wild weather when the choice is:

          c.) get bottle, use bottle, drink contents (note: tent optional)

          In some situations option c really is necessary. If you choose optoin c when playing a game you need help.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @david wilson

          "So sport is only worth doing if you make money out of it?"

          No, That's not what I said. Sport is only worth suffering for if you are being paid. Amateur sport is fun, if you start to take it too seriously and make sacrifices for it that could be avoided then surely it is no longer fun and is just an unpaid job. A bit like playing computer games...

        3. MJI Silver badge

          Peeing in the middle of the night on holiday

          Mine is get out of bed, walk to toilet, pee, get back in bed. All I need to do is empty it once a day.

          No luxuries these tents.

          Nothing like having your own loo while on holiday.

          (Owner of large white box on wheels)

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