back to article Cops cuff rectal shoplifter

Police in the Czech Republic have arrested a man who attempted to steal a digital music player by concealing it in his anus. The thief was caught when the shoplifting alarm rang loud and proud at the supermarket he had entered in the town of Prerov. Nabbed by staff, he was found to have a pair of earphones stashed in his …

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  1. Thomas 4

    Nnnngh....too many jokes.....X_x

    He's really in the shitter now.

    He's given himself training for his time inside.

    'Twas a really crap attempt at shoplifting....

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    With headlines like this

    With headlines like this the death of paper newspapers will only be a matter of time.

    Apart from covering the angle were this proves time-travel and is the origins of the often used term `bum rap`, I think were done here.

  3. VeganVegan
    Trollface

    Was it a

    Zune?

    1. Bumpy Cat
      Trollface

      Well,

      It was the right colour for a Zune when extracted ....

  4. Darryl

    "Police hope he is not part of a organised crime ring."

    Ya, no shit

    erm, sorry

  5. Charlie's Butt
    Joke

    What Player?

    This article doesn't state which player was secreted. Surely, this is important due to the eye watering difference between a first gen iPod and an iPod nano.

  6. rickykemp
    Trollface

    there are rumours that...

    It was the latest Apple iPood.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    He should form a double act with that 'youtube sensation' woman caught on cctv taking a dump in a shop!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-JHLXMGB70

  8. 404 Silver badge

    Well

    having worked for a state corrections dept in my sordid past... I have stories....

    Like you know how your mother told you never to put money in your mouth cuz you don't know where it's been? She was entirely correct - had an inmate atm in one incident... dry-celled him after visitation one day due to some suspicious behavior.. he eventually shit two twenties and a ten dollar bill...

    Shampoo bottles, lighters, drugs, money... what folks will do doesn't amazed me anymore.... to my great disappointment . There are some things I'd rather be ignorant of, ya know?

    8|

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      i would have just dumped it

      :-D

    2. mhoulden
      Coat

      Presumably the con was examined by the prison doctor afterwards to make sure he was OK, and advised to get in touch if there was any change.

      1. 404 Silver badge
        Coffee/keyboard

        Buck o'five... in nickels

        That_was_freaking_awesome!

        Wife thought I was crazy just now lol

        ;)

        1. Grease Monkey

          Reminds me of the tyke who went to the doctors with a sore bum. The doctor extracted 99 twenty pound notes from the patient's backside. To which the patient explained that was probably why he wasn't feeling too grand.

          Yes, I know, I'm getting it.

  9. Pete the not so great
    FAIL

    RRRRs Bandit?

    make a good item for the "refurb" section.

  10. Suburban Inmate
    Gimp

    There goes that lovely "new electronics" aroma... :(

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How could he do that?

    How could he conceal the music player in his arse when his head was already up there?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "You can see where this is going, can't you?"

    NOT looking. However, I've heard-tell it's pretty dark thereabouts...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Anyone who feels they need to do this

    Deserves to keep the item in question.

  14. Mr Young
    Thumb Up

    Unacceptable prose!

    Totally disgusting - can I get a refund?

  15. IR

    I hope the device had rounded corners.

  16. Unicornpiss Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Did they want it back?

    ...probably a lot easier these days than in the days of the old Victrolas...

  17. bluefin333
    Coat

    Bum Wrap

    No more to add...

  18. Generic_Web_Guy

    This would never have happened if we'd stuck with personal cassette players.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rectum

    1. Swarthy Silver badge
      Joke

      Rectum? Darn near kilt 'em!

  20. Scott Broukell
    Coat

    Will they be making a ......

    motion picture of this ?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He should've put the tube of lube up there too.

    Then it would've been the perfect crime.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You can shove that iPod up your arse.

    No! I didn't mean litera.... oh too late.

  23. This Side Up
    Joke

    Time inside?

    "The thief was later found to have a "colourful" criminal record and done time inside."

    No, no. If he'd stolen a wristwatch he would have done time inside.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ouch!

    Thats got to hurt...

    It does make me wonder though, how (un)stable would the battery have to be in one of these MP3 players for it to go into thermal runaway when heated up?

    AC/DC

  25. Martin Maloney
    Coat

    When the cops confronted the thief...

    ...did they order, "Blow it out your ass?"

    This reminded me of the old one about the nurse who shoved a thermometer up between her legs and rectum.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe it's a present...

    ...for his homeboy cellmate in prison?

  27. CmdrX3
    Happy

    Bummer!!!!

  28. Sooty

    This gives me an idea

    For a new range of "Hands free" music players

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