back to article Microsoft tempts Kinect developers with bacon

Microsoft has been seeking to recruit developers to the Kinect platform using one of the most potent bribes in the book: bacon. Microsoft is looking to double the size of its current Kinect developer team, and has hired ad agency Wexley School for Girls to promote the idea. Those bright sparks came up with the bacon idea under …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Let's hope the bulk of the would-be developers aren't either Islamic or Jewish, because I think this sort of display would probably have turned them right off …

    1. Mike Richards Silver badge

      Actually

      If it was real bacon* it would have converted to another religion on the spot.

      * not the horrible deep-fried fat with the consistency of broken glass stuff the Americans insist on calling bacon.

    2. nuclearchicken
      Thumb Up

      Veggie Bacon

      The had veggie bacon on hand too, at least in Fremont...

  2. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Meh

    Could only happen in America

  3. Asgard
    Happy

    Peanut butter, maple syrup, and chocolate sauce? on bacon? ... philistines ;)

    @"moist back rashers"

    ... with brown sauce ... in a sandwich ... hhmmm.. now you are talking. :)

    I now know what I'm going to be having for breakfast tomorrow. :)

    I just want to know how am I supposed to get through the rest of today without thinking about a nice bacon sandwich!. :)

    1. Bill B

      What??

      "and cover it with a variety of toppings, including spray cheese, Sriracha, peanut butter, maple syrup, and chocolate sauce."

      All of them?

      What does this do to your taste buds, let alone your digestive system and arteries?

  4. Tom 38 Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    mmm chunky bacon

    ( http://mislav.uniqpath.com/poignant-guide/book/chapter-3.html for the uninitiated)

  5. Christopher P. Martin
    WTF?

    Spray cheese?

    (<-see icon)

  6. Southern
    Devil

    Perhaps taking their cue from EpicMealTime?

    Certainly an original idea to promote something in the IT world. Hopefully they don't attract too much flak from vegetarian programmers, who are all too aware that bacon is veggie kryptonite.

  7. John Latham
    WTF?

    Spray cheese?

    Surely that's a joke...(googles)...oh, right.

    Surely the bible contains something about what happens to mankind when it decides to invest human ingenuity in aerosolising cheeses? The Quattro Formaggio Of The Apolcalypse?

    In any case, who could want bacon to taste cheesey? You need something that balances the fattiness, not adds to it.

    This is even more confusing than the phrase "Microsoft temps developers". I thought the Microsoft developer response scale maxed out at "dull resignation".

    1. Chrome

      Accidentally ordered a bacon and cheese sandwich once (proper grated cheddar). Unexpected sandwichey goodness ensued

    2. JimmyPage Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      The Quattro Formaggio Of The Apolcalypse?

  8. Nya
    Coat

    Damn MS!

    They can't even get a bacon butty right *sigh*. Where's the brown sauce?!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wouldn't develop for Microsoft Kinnect for bacon

    Even if Bill Gates dressed up like Lady Gaga.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Headmaster

    Who to insult first .... ?

    So .. I doubt they'll be coming to New York which I suspect has larger populations of non-bacon-eating Jewish, Muslim and/or vegetarian Kinect Developers than Seattle.

    Culinary and Cultural Fail.

  11. bolccg
    Stop

    Bacon and...

    peanut butter?!!! No!

  12. Richard Wharram
    Thumb Down

    Chocolate sauce :/

    Bloody Americans. If I saw bacon covered in a brownish soft-paste I would naturally assume that bacon's rightful companion, brown sauce, was in play. A bite of this travesty would soon disabuse me of this notion.

    1. Mike Richards Silver badge

      Maple syrup on the other hand

      Actually works well with real bacon.

      God I'm hungry. Where's a Microsoft developers drive when you need one?

  13. Andy Jones
    WTF?

    Lard arse alert

    "Anyone can pop along and grab some bacon ... and cover it with a variety of toppings, including spray cheese, Sriracha, peanut butter, maple syrup, and chocolate sauce."

    And they wonder why they are fat!

    Waddle along sir, nothing to see here!

  14. Ralph B
    Devil

    Monkey Games

    They say "If you pay peanuts you get monkeys" so maybe it follows "If you pay bacon you get gorillas". So perhaps Microsoft are looking to replace Ballmer.

    1. Armando 123

      No, if you pay in bacon, you get people who love bacon: people who love life and sensory perceptions and appreciate the little things that make life worth living. Not the worst target group in the world.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thanks

    Your reminder of American Crimes Against Sliced Pig provoked me to do The Right Thing and lightly grill four rashers of Barry's Best Back (East Londons finest, it must be said) and place it tenderly between two generously buttered doorsteps of fresh Percy Ingles sandwich tin (it was still warm when I bought it). Coffee in hand I'm now an hour late, but much much happier.

  16. PassiveSmoking
    WTF?

    Streaky

    And what exactly is wrong with streaky bacon? Not that there's anything wrong with back bacon of course, but the crispiness of properly cooked streaky just can't be beat.

  17. TRT Silver badge
    FAIL

    Ah yes. That sums up Microsoft's ethos: let's take something simple and brilliant which a significant number of right-minded individuals actually choose freely and enjoy then add all sorts of shit onto it, calling it a bonus feature of course, but which somehow makes the whole thing disgusting and horrible, then shove it down everyone's necks, whatever church they belong to, whether they want it or not, and expect them to be grateful for it.

    No thanks.

  18. Miek
    FAIL

    A rather pathetic attempt to 'show-up' rivals by offering low quality bacon sarnies outside their rivals HQs.

    And spray-cheese can go to hell.

  19. Craig 2
    Thumb Up

    Covering bacon with ANYTHING except a couple of slices of bread dipped in lard is a waste of good bacon.

  20. Simbu
    WTF?

    Sweet bacon conidiments?

    HP sauce or GTFO.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is there nothing bacon can’t make better?

    A barmitzvah ? Eid ?

    They should be equally offensive to all religions .... condoms, abortion vouchers and windows handsets should cover most of the world's religions.

  22. Tchou
    Joke

    Sounds like

    a toasted idea!

  23. Richard Ball
    WTF?

    Yuck

    and cover it with a variety of toppings, including spray cheese, Sriracha, peanut butter, maple syrup, and chocolate sauce.

    So that's yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck and yuck. Somebody please educate these people:

    Two slices of bread and some ketchup. (or brown if that's the way you hang)

  24. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Damn, all this talk of bacon sarnies ...

    I'll be thinking it's Friday.

  25. Armando 123

    I must say ...

    that I don't add anything to bacon and think anyone who does is a philistine. I can get the maple syrup, having tasted it once with spillover from a waffle hitting the bacon. Tasty, but not quite bacon. Heck, I'll even happily devour turkey bacon at the kosher deli near the house. (Best corned beef hash in the US, BTW, and friends from New York City agree.) But adding to bacon? No thanks.

    However, the chocolate added to bacon is often Nutella which is, IIRC, of Italian origin. And it tastes like nuts, not chocolate. Blech!

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Must be stoned...

    Maple syrup on a Bacon Sandwich sounds awesome! Actually so does peanut butter...

    Have munchies, need MS job, how much are flights to the US??

  27. Gilberthill

    If they are going to be running high-calorie stunts like this regularly, yes I think it is very likely that the size of the developers will double!

  28. OffBeatMammal

    great bacon to be had around here

    what makes it even funnier is that there is some amazingly good British style bacon to be had around here... http://properbritishbacon.com/ are local and even arrange once a month deliveries to the MS campus... it's a real taste of home ;)

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