back to article No charge after woman gave fellow prisoner a cop-car BJ

A Texas woman arrested on drug charges has escaped additional sanctions for allegedly giving her fellow prisoner a blowjob in the back of a squad car en route to the county lockup. Cops were called to the Whataburger in Porter, Texas on Monday, the Montgomery County Police Reporter reports, after police were told that an " …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Had she charged they'd have had her for another offence too.

  2. Mondo the Magnificent

    Soma story there officer

    Never heard of Soma, so did a little search and came up [no pun] with this:

    "Soma. a white pill that is a muscle relaxant. Makes you feel drunk but a little more tired and you remember more"

    And: "Soma (carisoprodol) is used treat injuries and other painful muscle conditions"

    So the fact he could actually get it up under the influence of this muscle relaxant is an achievement in itself. However I am sure it's an even he'll never forget though, even without the memory enhacing proporties of Soma

    1. Dave Murray

      Why would a muscle relaxant make it an achievement? Ain't no muscles in your bone boy. (no bones either)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Refresh your anatomy

      It is not exactly a muscle.

      Frankly, the fact that he could get it up for a service from what can be seen on the mugshots is even more amusing. He was probably considerably so inebriated that the officer can be charged for not driving him to the hospital as well.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Some people might consider revising their hydraulics...

        The increase in pressure in erectile tissue is attained by smooth muscle constriction in the out-flowing blood vessels.

        I'm too lazy to go work out whether the same sort of muscle relaxants that work on striated muscle will affect smooth muscle too, so consider than an exercise for the readers who assume that their penis works by magic.

      2. Filippo

        Muscles are involved to control the flow of blood, though. But I'm not at all clear on exactly how they work, so for what I know the muscle relaxant could actually help.

    3. Marvin the Martian

      You mean you never read "Brave New World"? I'd hazard a guess it's named the pills there (named in their turn after some tribal concoction, probably, given it's Aldous "doors of perception" Huxley writing).

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Do you feel lucky, sPunk?

    Yes, apparently

  4. Beachrider

    There IS a muscle..

    There is a muscle that is involved in constricting blood flow. When the muscle relaxes, the fluid build up is released.

    I knew that those Health classes were good for something!

  5. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

    I may be accused of having a dirty mind, but...

    Except ballgags being part of the official toolery of the US boys in blue Real Soon Now.

    I mean, they already use every nastiness up to deadly force and even beyond...

  6. Gil Grissum


    That one provided the "LAUGH OF THE DAY"... LOL!!!

  7. Anonymous Coward

    Now who wouldn't want to get up close & personal with this debutante?

    Well...not moi for starters.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mona Lisa

    She has a certain 'Mona Lisa' smirk about her. Made me wonder whether Leonardo received a similar commission payment?

  9. Stuart Halliday

    Why is this News?

    Are you guys slipping into Sun-Mode?

    1. Tchou

      Exactly Sun mode since...

      it's been bought by Oracle.

  10. earl grey Silver badge


    i guess that means it was a freebie...

    yeah, i'm going....

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