back to article Google unfurls Dead Sea Scrolls

As if there weren't enough strange rantings on the internet already, Google has just uploaded five of the Dead Sea Scrolls in super high resolution. Of course, the Dead Sea Scrolls are strange rantings that – unlike your average YouTube contribution – are of great historic and religious significance. The scrolls were written 2 …

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  1. Pete 43
    Trollface

    Does it have the "missing" page?

    "To my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are fictitous and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental."

    1. EddieD

      Damn, should have it hit refresh before sending....

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Speaking as an Agnostic: God or no God, it doesn't matter.

      These are incredibly important historical documents.

      As important, if not more so, than Magna Carta, Doomsday, Bede, or the Vindolandar tablets in the UK. There are many others: the Sumeriean texts and the Epic of Gilgamesh are arguably the oldest written language. Each in their way tells us a story about life in those times.

      To pass off the Dead Sea Scrolls as a joke is to live life with a closed mind towards the human past and its impact on the modern world.

      +1 to Google for doing this. IMHO, this is what the internet should be about.

  2. EddieD

    Does it have the missing first page of the bible?

    "To my dear friend Trixie"

    All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  3. illiad
    Happy

    Ahhhhh :) does this include the 'cover sheet' ??

    ..

    .

    eg..

    to my darling Isiah, who helped in the writing of this work.

    The contents of this publication is a work of fiction and has no relation to people living or dead.

  4. illiad

    :( :( :(

    beaten to it.... :p

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Want to bet that they will try and copyright the photo's

    And assume all online ownership and rights of the Dead Sea Scrolls?

    Naw they're not that greedy are they?

    You be the judge...

    1. LuMan
      Joke

      eltiT

      FFS... This is Google, not Apple!!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @LuMan

        Your anti-Apple bias is frankly disgusting, puerile, deeply offensive and lessens the lot of mankind just by you uttering it. You should be ashamed of yourself, for that brief time before you are justifiably tortured to death.

        Apple would not try to assert copyright over the scrolls, they would just patent the process of writing religious texts on various media (including but not limited to: animal hide, papyrus, copper plate, clay, stone) and then pursue infringers through the courts.

        10 Hail St Jobs and 5 Our Steves for you my child.

        1. Fr Barry

          But then again

          According to the Old Testament, of which these scrolls form an important part, it was an Apple which caused mankind's downfall in the first place.

          No change there then

          1. Tom 13
            Headmaster

            No it doesn't say it was an apple.

            It says "the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil" but does not specify the fruit. IIRC, the apple is a Renaissance period painting innovation to make it readily identifiable to the typical peasant. Even fundamentalists such as myself do not believe it was an apple. However, given its commonality, it makes a useful reference in everyday conversation.

      2. Atonnis
        Stop

        Yeah!

        If this was Google they'd stick adverts in every few paragraphs along with a form so you can hand in all of your personal information!

  6. jai

    continuing the 'missing page' theme

    There's a piece missing from the Great Isaiah Scroll:

    3:23 And the gauze robes, and the fine linen, and the turbans, and the mantles.

    3:24 And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet spices there shall be rottenness;

    and instead of a girdle rags; and instead of curled hair baldness;

    and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth;

    branding instead of beauty

    3:25 Thy men shall fall by the sword, and thy mighty in the war.

    3:26 And her gates shall lament and mourn; and utterly bereft she shall sit upon the ground.

    3:27 And if you ask me how I'm feeling

    3:28 Don't tell me you're too blind to see

    3:29 Never gonna give you up

    3:30 Never gonna let you down

    3:31 Never gonna run around and desert you

    1. J 3
      Happy

      aaarghh!

      I've been rick-scrolled!

      1. Rob Dobs
        Happy

        rick-scrolled

        terribly terribly funny - your word was even better than original post!

    2. Zippy the Pinhead
      Thumb Up

      @Jai

      Are you trying to rickroll us? lol

    3. TimeMaster T
      Thumb Up

      Pure Genius!!

      My hat is off to you

    4. Trokair 1

      Well played good sir.

    5. Svantevid
      Thumb Up

      @ jai

      You... magnificent... bastard! :-)))

  7. Alan Firminger

    Why has this fired up so many atheists

    Believing in no god means that there is nothing religious to campaign for, just the opportunity to cause unnecessary offence to muslims, christians and jews. Now if you could stop them killing each other that would be worthwhile.

    Live and let live.

    1. Scott Broukell
      Megaphone

      So...what you're saying is ...

      ... that Muslims, Christians and Jews can't tolerate atheists let alone each other ?

      "Live and let live" ... mmmm ... that happens so much throughout history between believers of differing made-up piffle.

      Not believing in no god frees up your mind to the reality of the human condition.

      Believing in a god buries your head in the communal ancient sand pit.

      I don't wish to deny anybody the right to believe, I just want them to understand that it's not that important what they believe in, either to non-believers or believers in other faiths and as such they should be content not to ram it down the throats of every body else regardless. I would rather live in a completely secular society which tolerates different faiths but gives their followers no greater sway than say people with freckles or green eyes.

      If that's intolerable to you then you are living in the middle ages, sorry.

    2. tonysmith

      In all honesty I've never seen average 'religious people' (people who follow some religion) jump on others so quickly and denounce others beliefs and defend their own in the way atheists do.

      It's quite odd as they tend to claim religious people shove their beliefs down everyone's throats - but on the internet they do it the most themselves.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Maybe the internet is just a better place, then.

        There's a god in my national anthem, there were prayers to a god in my school assemblies, the cub scout promise I had to say every week was to a god, the oath my MP swore was to a god, my doctors swore that they would not 'play god'.

        Taking the mickey out of people who believe an old book is the work of a paranormal intelligence is not shoving atheism down anyone's throat.

        When we have a bank holiday for a celebration of atheism, when the official motto of the world's greatest super-power is "In humanity we trust, because let's face it there obviously are no gods", when anyone of any persuasion can marry whoever they want because the state agrees it is offensive to assume there's any reason to stop them, when there are special rules benefiting schools for the children of atheist parents, when there is a quota of appointed atheists in the House of Lords, and when every church is turned into a pub with a sign outside saying "Ale is real, gods are not." then, maybe, I'd accept an accusation that atheism is being shoved down everyone's throat.

        1. Wize

          @AC 18:44

          "...when every church is turned into a pub..."

          Quite a few in Aberdeen already have been.

          Nice rant. I might borrow it if I get accused of stuffing atheism down throats.

          1. graeme leggett Silver badge

            different "opium of the masses"

            as Marx (or was it Lenin) said

        2. T.a.f.T.

          Optional

          > There's a god in my national anthem,

          Assuming UK here, in which case you don't have to sing it very often or every that but yes Head of State is Head of Church so those are still overlapping.

          > there were prayers to a god in my school assemblies,

          Does that mean you went to a CoE school? Many of them are but it does say it on the sign by the door.

          > the cub scout promise I had to say every week was to a god,

          Again, a Christian organisation to bring up young men with Christian values, you are going to end up mentioning god in there somewhere.

          > the oath my MP swore was to a god,

          Well I think we have the Head of State = Head or Church history thing to thank there again too. Does that mean that it has to be the Christian god or does any deity fit? Does this mean there are no non-Christian MPs?

          > my doctors swore that they would not 'play god'.

          I am not sure the hippopotinus oath is mandatory in the UK but again that is a non-specific deity; though I grant you an Atheist taking such an oath is worthless as there is no god so there is no action they can take which will be considered playing god.

          Many cases people who don't want to religion could avoid it, yes it happens outside of temples but most of the time it is not a trick and you can avoid it if you check up on things first.

      2. Old Handle

        @tonysmith

        Sampling bias. It's true, average religious people don't try to cram their beliefs down your throat (usually). But neither do average atheists. What you're overlooking as that average atheists don't talk about religion at all, so you likely won't be aware that they're atheist in the first place.

        1. Andus McCoatover
          Windows

          "It's true, average religious people don't try to cram their beliefs down your throat (usually)"

          Might disagree here:

          Mate of mine was a Jehova's witness, but had a girlfriend he'd be bonking every night.

          Now, she had to keep an apartment so his parents (JW's) would assume they were living apart. He purported to be a devout Jehova's Witness.

          So, as she's adopted the faith, I can no longer wish either a "happy birthday" as it's forbidden to celebrate them.

          http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/war-of-words-breaks-out-among-jehovahs-witnesses-2361448.html

          Of course, one can argue Jehova's Witnesses, like 7th Day Adventists, Mormons, Christian Scientists, Scientologists, etc, (All Made In America (tm) ) won't cram it down your throat..But they do.

    3. Neoc

      @Alan Firminger

      "Believing in no god means that there is nothing religious to campaign for, just the opportunity to cause unnecessary offence to muslims, christians and jews. Now if you could stop them killing each other that would be worthwhile.

      Live and let live."

      Yes, because the average religious organisation is quite happy to leave me alone in my choice not to believe. It's amazing how preaching your religion and denigrating the non-believers (on TV no less, especially on Sundays) is a "freedom of religion" right, but if non-believers do the same it is deemed "offensive".

      Pot, kettle, black.

    4. Tilman Ahr
      Mushroom

      You bet

      Live and let die, i believe it is...

      Not believing in some white-bearded fucker-fairy in the sky dictating ones every move is actually quite liberating. You might want to try it some day. Or probably not.

      You do what you like - I'll keep causing neccessary offense to pretty much every religious type i meet. Just by not believing in their particular brand of what the world should look like if it weren't like it is...

      Nuke them from orbit. With the religious types it's the only way to be sure.

      Greetings from Berlin,

      Til(agnostic)man

      1. The Commenter formally known as Matt
        Devil

        Agnostic means you don't know if there is a God/Gods or not.

        Atheist (broadly) means you don't believe there is a God/Gods

        You clearly believe there is no God, so it is odd you identify yourself as agnostic. Perhaps you don't know what you believe?

        You post however does not seem to attempt to make any point, other than to be offensive to as many people as possible while making yourself look like an ass.

        If you believe in God(s), don't or simply don't know this doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to troll people who believe different to you.

        Personally I don't believe in any God, but I don't know if I'm right on that one (maybe I should hedge my bets and start a religious youtube channel or something)

        1. RegGuy

          @matt

          I tend to agree with your comments about offensive comments. And it's good to air the difference between a-gnostic (not knowing if you believe) and a-theist (not believing).

          But I did laugh at the description "white-bearded fucker-fairy", so his post wasn't all wasted, although I can't see it getting into the Book of Common Prayer.

        2. Gorbachov

          "not sure" as opposed to "don't care"

          @matt

          Being agnostic doesn't mean you are not sure what to believe. It means you don't care what the truth is regarding the deity question. A small difference but an important one.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Google should also unearth the ancient documents

    from which flow the source of all commentard humour

    1. Disco-Legend-Zeke
      Joke

      Commentard Humor Original Postings...

      ...were lost when the Breighton Beach Bath House was razed.

      No one thought to preserve the bathroom stall walls, where they were scratched.

  9. James Gosling

    Thanks!

    Thanks Google, keep up the good work!

  10. Gary Riches

    Shall I make the same joke again as more than 10 minutes has passed?

    1. Elmer Phud
      Coat

      Nah, if ten minutes have pased they are now all available on an app

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Shall I make the same joke again...

      Sir,

      "more than 10 [or better: ten] minutes HAVE passed"

      Thank you.

      (OK, sorry... I'm off)

      1. Jolyon

        @AC 17:25

        "more than 10 [or better: ten] minutes HAVE passed"

        Yes, if he meant that the number of minutes that had passed was greater than ten, but his original is fine if he wasn't counting individual minutes and simply meant that a period of time greater than ten minutes in duration had elapsed.

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

  12. Dunstan Vavasour
    Thumb Up

    Awesome

    This is an awesome public service, making one of history's most significant finds publicly available together with authentic interpretation. Long may Google perform this sort of service.

  13. illiad

    Alan Firminger

    believe it, there is no god... and if there was, he gave up on us long ago...

    they rewrote and mangled all the stories, changed them so that they could rape the land and resources, thats why....(have you seen the religion documentaries on BBC?? )

    and then you see all the death and suffering , what god would stand by and watch??

    1. RTNavy
      Boffin

      re: Alan Firminger

      And you believe everything the BBC says to be true just because you saw it on the telly?

      1. vic 4

        Better than

        believing something in a book originally penned thousands of years ago and constantly changed to match peoples whims and agendas.

    2. The Commenter formally known as Matt
      Stop

      presumably Alan has his own beliefs, why do you feel the need to shove yours down his throat?

  14. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    Second impact can't be far.

    Oh yeah, it's for 2012, right? Comet Elenin and all that.

  15. Oninoshiko
    Stop

    why ARE the athists so fired up?

    Even if you aren't religious, the dead-sea scrolls are a important find of HISTORICAL significance. Even if you don't believe what is in them, they still are as big a deal as Egyptian records, Greek records, Roman records, or any other historical document of religious or secular origin.

    If they can do it, I think they should make display the oldest copy of the Koran too. Maybe some Shinto and Bhuddest texts. This isn't just theology it's also about history, and anthropology, both secular studies.

    1. Jolyon

      No one said this shouldn't be done - there were just a few jokes about this sort of text and then someone got all sniffy about atheists shoving their views down everyone's throats and that riled those amongst them who are a bit tired of being told that they are the only people who must not do this, especially when they are just having a bit of fun.

      I would imagine that all the atheists believe it goes without saying that preserving ancient documents of all sorts is just a Good Thing.

  16. RTNavy
    Happy

    Belief not required!

    Even if any form of Judaism, Christianity isn't in your wheel house belief structure, just the historical significance of any document this old is fascinating! Seeing, first hand (well nearly first hand) some of the oldest religious documents with my own eyes.

    Of course, the "translations" will forever be disputed since many rely on opinions of the scholar, but just viewing and researching some of the texts would be very exciting.

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