back to article Windows Phone dev GM splits with Microsoft

Charlie Kindel – the general manager of the Windows Phone Developer Ecosystem and a 21-year Microsoft veteran – is leaving the company for a mystery startup. But he still forbids his kids to use Google. "No, just because I don’t work at Microsoft anymore you may not use Google," he told his children. "Remember, every time you …

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  1. Mediocrates Silver badge
    Coat

    building smartphones into jock straps.

    Brett Favre would certainly like the convenience...

  2. Oneil Stuart
    Coat

    kittens rule

    I'm not a fan of puppies.

    1. Arkasha

      kittens

      I think kittens die when you use Apple products. Geeks die when you use MS products of course.

      I think we need a kitten / puppy stomping icon please!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      They sure rule...

      ... my radish patch since they consistently dig them out and poop in them. B*stards, I'm gonna feed them with radium, at least I'll get some poop outdoor lighting.

  3. Ian Michael Gumby Silver badge
    Devil

    So wrong, but so funny

    ""Remember, every time you use Google, a puppy dies.""

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Happy

      But-

      If you use Bing, everyone dies...

  4. Daniel 4
    Joke

    Charlie Kindel the eco-warrior?

    "No, just because I don’t work at Microsoft anymore you may not use Google," he told his children. "Remember, every time you use Google, a puppy dies."

    Ok... so, in 2010 Google revealed that they handle more than 1 billion searches per day. Even assuming very tiny puppies massing .5 kg a piece, this would be half a million metric tons of dead puppies per day, or over 180 million metric tons of dead puppies per year. This would appear to be vast majority of the solid waste produced in the U.S. per year.

    Quick, ban Google to save our landfills and reduce methane from puppy decomposition!

    -d

    1. Daniel 1

      Don't worry

      In desperate last minute bargaining, congress have agreed a new ceiling to the "United Stated dead Puppy Mountain".

      Crisis averted. Keep Googling.

      1. Richard 102
        Coat

        But the children!

        Think of the children if we keep googling! Think of the children!

        [THINKS OF CHILDREN]

        De-licious! (*)

        (*) Copyright John Cleese, ISIRTA, 1973

    2. Phil Standen
      Joke

      Re: Charlie Kindel the eco-warrior?

      Dead puppies consume less in the long run.

      All those puppies will become doggies (Pup is to Dog as Puppy is to ....) at some point, and will die. Best get rid of them when they are small.

      "Do no Evil"

  5. Mikel
    Thumb Up

    Android dev lab

    That's my bet. He is tired of being a pariah.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      or maybe

      he just can't stand Nokia

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    success written all over it

    "a 21-year Microsoft veteran" and "is leaving the company for a mystery startup"

    these two quotes don't spell success to me especially since he is clearly a fan of parrotting tedious corporate BS like a brainwashed drone. But, hey, good luck anyway.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Leaving a sinking ship?

    Or should that be burnt platform?

    Windows Phone 7 isn't exactly popular. I note that it's not even an option on the T-Mobile, O2, Virgin Mobile or Three.

    You can search them for Blackberry, iOS and Android phones, but not Window Phone ones.

    Funny that.

  8. Paul M 1

    Shirley...

    ...like Balmer, Gates and all the other authoritarian dads, the thing to do is to ask his kids why they want to use Google in preference to MS?

    Reminds me of laws stating all signs etc must be in a particular language - if you have to legislate for it, it's a lost cause.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Kids...

      ..it's actually simple. How uncool is it to use anything of your parents? First sign of independence; reject your parents wisdom, and make your own decisions.

      Admittedly, choosing your preferred search provider isn't quite as rebelious as joining the army when dad wants you to be a dentist, but you get the idea.

    2. Ru
      Holmes

      "if you have to legislate for it, it's a lost cause."

      Sounds like we've got a white, western, english speaking middle class male here!

      I doubt anyone who has ever been discriminated against based on their gender, ethnicity, age, language religion or indeed primary language would quite agree with you there, chief.

      But that's okay, because you made a crap example. Authoritarian dads are doomed anyway, because whatever they forbid their kids will go and do immediately.

      1. Paul M 1

        @Ru

        "Sounds like we've got a white, western, english speaking middle class male here!"

        Well looking at where we are reading this, I don't think you're going out on much of a limb in making that prediction.

        But to the point... do you believe that racism, sexism etc have been removed simply because they are now forbidden in polite society?

        You have to win the battle of minds. Anything else is, ultimately a lost cause, and that has nothing to do with protecting the rights of all members of society.

    3. Richard 102

      Heh

      "Reminds me of laws stating all signs etc must be in a particular language - if you have to legislate for it, it's a lost cause."

      For the record, my state has this law, and it's because of all the Germans who came here in the late 1840s and 1850s who refused to learn English. And being descended from those Germans, I understand this law COMPLETELY.

      1. Yag
        Trollface

        Was ist das?

        Ich verstehe nicht!

        Perhaps all posts on ElReg should also be written in several languages...

  9. Shane8
    Joke

    Google = God

    Everytime you use bing M$ kills a kitten...ofc we know kittens are alot cuter than puppies!

  10. Graham Bartlett
    Coat

    @Shane8

    *Nothing* is cuter than puppies. And no puppy is cuter than a spaniel puppy. Spaniel puppies are the most highly-evolved form of cuteness ever to have existed on the planet.

    They need to be, bcos they're so damn frustrating that they'd all be gloves otherwise...

    (That's my coat with the two dog leads in the pocket.)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Shurely Shome Mishtake

      It's gotta be labrador puppies at the top of the dog cutness table...

    2. hplasm Silver badge
      Happy

      Gloves with Spaniel ears? Made from Puppies?

      That's going on my xmas list !

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Shurely Shome Mishtake

        Absolutely agree about Labrador puppies. Had 7 of them in the house last year, provided us with endless hours of cuteness and cuddles. Can't believe the size some of them have grown to now!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Stop

        GLOVES MADE FROM PUPPIES? NO, IT'S SHOES!

        Haven't you heard of Hush Puppies®? Their corporate mascot (the Spaniel) is a dead giveaway.

    3. Richard 102

      Disagree

      Hound pups, particularly bluetick hound pups, are tops. They're all legs and ears and have little puppy howls; they're so cute when they rip a chipmunk to shreds!

      Mind you, when they chase a skunk the cuteness factor drops, ...

    4. Captain DaFt

      Nothing?

      I beg to differ!

      https://picasaweb.google.com/104318562628982164257/Kiyoot#5638944036437798882

      WARNING: This picture of a bunny is so cute, it has turned diabetics into puddles of syrup!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Warning to his kids

    Remember, every time you talk to your dad, some of your brain cells die.

    But that's alright, he's getting filthy rich and you're gonna inherit anyway.

  12. Paul Ireland

    every time you use Google, a puppy dies

    he told his children. "Remember, every time you use Google, a puppy dies."

    I read that as him threatening to his children that if they used Google, he would kill one of their puppies. Looking at his blog with a picture of him with a rifle kind of backs up this interpretation.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Headmaster

    British English Please

    Isn't this a UK site? Fall falls in the *autumn*.

    1. Richard 102
      Headmaster

      *ahem*

      Fall is a proper English word; "autumn" is a poncy Latin word advocated by prissy Oxbridge wankers who had nothing better to do with their lives than try to turn a good Germanic language into a Latin one.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Headmaster

        British English Please

        I did not realise that until Richard pointed it out. Still, the common usage in Britain is to refer to the season that follow summer as autumn, in that sense autumn is still British English.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Joke

        "Fall is a proper English word"

        that means something different ;-)

        "prissy Oxbridge wankers" lol. Gratuitous offence is sometimes the only way to go.

    2. Tom Maddox Silver badge
      Headmaster

      ORLY?

      My browser title bar says "News for the WORLD." Don't worry, you'll get over it.

  14. Bilgepipe

    Knob

    >>> "Remember, every time you use Google, a puppy dies."

    What a knob.

    "Every time you use Bing, you don't find what you're looking for."

  15. JeremDe

    Worse !

    It's worse... Windows Mobile 6 et Windows Phone 7 marketshares are mixed...

    http://www.monwindowsphone.com/windows-phone-perd-encore-des-parts-de-marche-aux-usa-t5090.html

  16. Tidosho
    Unhappy

    Stop it with puppies, I love them!

    Stop it with all the dead puppy stuff! I love cats and dogs, any animal in fact. He said it to stop his kids using Google because you know what kids and fluffy puppies bring out, lots of "Awwww, poor pup!" so if he made them think one dies every time Google is used, they won't use it. A bit of a cruel analogy though.

    Kids love animals. I've just seen my 3rd dead bunny by the side of the road, and it hurts, even as a 26 year old animal lover. Maybe they were run over by the GOOGLE CARS!!!!!! BUNNY KILLERRRSSS!!!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Every time you use MS Word

    A baby elephant dies.

    And baby elephants trump puppies, kittens, bunnies and even sloths (yes, they are unbelievably cute) in the Mr/Ms Cutest In the Universe competition. Just nothing beats a baby elephant.

    And this Kindel idiot needs a few lessons of free choice and letting the market rule --- in his house.

  18. N13L5
    Facepalm

    what a butthead

    So, M$ told him if he'd just go voluntarily, he could write his own good bye press release, and this is what he came up with...

    Good luck in the cloud to make some $$, like we need one more cloud offering.. lets see how long the big online dream keeps going still.

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