Deep love for Facebook...
...but not enough to stop her using Twitter?
Mark Zuckerberg's big sister Randi, who also happens to be Facebook's marketing director, is leaving her brother's company after a six-year tenure. She handed in her resignation letter yesterday, as reported by All Things Digital. The 29-year-old exec later tweeted about her exit from the world's largest social network, which …
...but not enough to stop her using Twitter?
She appears to have the right qualifications. There was more bloody whalesong in those quotes than in Greenpeace's CD collection.
I don't think I've ever seen quite so much complete flannel and meaningless bolloxspik written in one place before. To complete the experience, the thick layer of dripping FB encomia that had seeped into every phrase produced a taste of bile that I'm now going to be spending the rest of the day getting rid of.
"... she said on Twitter...": Can't for the life of me figure out why she didn't communicate this via "the most incredible social platform ever created", what with it being central to all her projects 'n all....
Can't for the life of me figure out why she didn't communicate this via "the most incredible social platform ever created" ...
Simple - she has no friends.
"I plan to demonstrate that ANYONE can do groundbreaking media work on the platform" .... "you don’t have to be an engineer to be a hacker."
And when you're neither,.. having a relative on the inside is a great way to get new contracts.
Particularly if they are related to the founder and chief exec of that platform
It seems imagination and a degree of thoughtfulness are needed to appreciate why anonymity on the web can be a very good thing.
Not sure that her position on anonymity matters much in the marketing of Facebook though -- after all her brother has stated that his unpaid content creators are dumb fucks and bitches and half the world still seem to want to work for him.
She's right you know.
You're not allowed to say whatever you want at school, and you're not allowed to say whatever you want at work, so why do you think you can do it at home? Is your home a special place where you can say anything you like? No. So buck up and act right, scum bag!
Perhaps her next venture could involve instructing people in the correct use of the English language instead of just making up words for the sake of it. Mentor as a verb works just like teach, tutor or instruct: the noun for the activity is formed by -ing: mentoring, teaching, tutoring, instructing etc FFS.
...will show it's too late. Language evolves, so perchance thou dost need to "get a life".
but thats web 2.0 dahling.
You make something up, say it enough and it suddently becomes the norm.
I'll coin a new verb Fullox. Which is a conjoined effort of "fucking" & "bollocks" with a slight hip twist at the end using an X instead.
To Fullox - To make up your own word and pass it off as real.
Fulloxing - The art of making up words and passing them off as real.
Use Example: That marketing chick was well into her fullox flow.
"Ok ladies and gents, what I want here is a serious fulloxing session, we need the kids to utter our fullox on a regular basis.
This needs to be the official Register measurement of marketing bullshit, maybe with another smaller unit of measurement. The twaddle! Yes, 100 twaddles to a fullox.
Surely the component unit for fullox should be a fullocy in itself... perhaps a portmanteau of utter twaddle... Uddle? the fact it sounds like part of bovine anatomy only helps in my eyes.
if only I could find a way of putting an X in there, Xs make any word cool!
I'm re-inventing dictionary definitions also.
She only had the job at Facebook due to blatant nepotism. She'll now find that Silicon Valley won't be as forgiving to her as her brother at Facebook was.
that she never slept her way to the top.
Think about it... I really wouldn’t put it past Mark, the guy's a arse of the highest order so I wouldn’t put it past him.
what is groundbreaking media work, anyway? is that when your shitty media start-up goes broke and your entire staff end up in the ditch digging/grave digging professions?
The good news is that one doesn't have to waste time developing one's own fulloxes. The Plain English Campaign site already offers a helpful Generator:
I'm guessing RtoZMedia is something like marketing buzz word soup. ;)
"launch my own initiative"
"incredible outpouring of support and enthusiasm for my next adventure"
"In attacking this challenge"
"Be assured I will continue to be a strong, vocal evangelist for the most incredible social platform ever created"
"strong mentorship, guidance, and support, which is empowering me to follow my dreams"
Its like buzz word bingo, you can make up your own sentences without really saying much. :)
... For example...
My incredible outpouring of evangelist enthusiasm empowers my strong mentorship allowing me to attack this challenge to follow my dreams for my next adventure.
Its Friday and after that I think I need some mind bleach. ;)
There are also no letters F, A, C, E, B, O or K betwen R and Z either.....
Maybe it's me, but facebook seems to have the most confusing UI imaginable. It's like a teenager wrote it for a bet* Sure, I use it occasionally, but, grief! It's bloody awful.
*actually, I know it was conceived by two students in their shared apartment, but FFS!!!
Not from her brother, I'll bet !
I love how everyone on here goes mental when reading the word 'Facebook', even if the article isn't about it. Related, of course, but it's about a woman starting a business.
Worst company in the world, evil evil man, the world will end because of pokes...
The thing about Facebook / Twitter / Google+ is that they're built on 2 things, 1 content you provide and 2 the 'buzz' / 'chatter' about them, they are social after all. So if you hate them then simple thing is to not have an account and shut up. Just a thought like.
I am sure I have read or heard a lot of these. "It's time to revamp and reboot our 'Outside the box' modular projections." "I can make a window to discuss your integrated organisational mobility." - priceless!
Even worse when you hear this stuff from foreigners (I work in Belgium) - what do they teach them in their MBAs nowadays?
They teach how to generate and regurgitate Gobbledy-Gook. I dropped after Marketing. The letters MBA weren't worth contaminating my soul. It took two hours in the Dilbert archives to cleanse afterwards.
If you worked for a company in Camberley, travelling back by train home to Leamington Spa every day, arriving at about 8 in the evening, then study 3-4 hours for your Open University MBA, get some sleep (forget 'horizontal jogging' with your wife - too knackered) then get the 05:45 back to Camberley, you'll know the letters MBA were worth the "blood, sweat and tears" that 4 years took out of my soul.
Yet, I'm still on the dole. Why, why, why.
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