back to article Texas cinema texter becomes foul-mouthed movie star

A Texas cinema with a strict no-mobe policy has demonstrated that it really means business by throwing out a persistent texter, then turning her mini-rant against ejection into a big screen trailer. Austin's Alamo Drafthouse explains: "Recently, we had a situation where a customer persisted in texting in the theatre despite …

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  1. Cosmo
    Flame

    Wait... what

    She spends her time texting in all theatres that she goes to?

    However, that was an awesome A+ rant - worthy of Register flame-bait - plus I love the literal text used for the subtitles. Brilliant!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      me too, loved the text

      really good bit of marketing too, like the old audi advert "it's not for everyone..."

  2. Rovindi
    Thumb Up

    Good for them

    Glad to see people getting their just rewards for texting in inappropriate locations. Drives me frikkin´mad.

  3. sandman
    Thumb Up

    A new hero

    1. Pay money - lots of money these days.

    2. Settle down to watch movie in darkened cinema

    3. Get distracted constantly by peeps in front of you messaging, texting, etc

    4. Leave cinema at end of movie not having enjoyed movie quite as much as you could have

    5. Feel mildly homicidal until after first drink

    It's the light from the phones that causes the distraction, and the larger the screen, the more annoying it is. Watched one punter using an iPhone throughout the movie and was left wondering why he had bothered coming to see the movie in the first place.

    Glad to see at least one cinema stops it, although I'm still not moving to Austin....

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Trollface

      @sandman

      "Watched one punter using an iPhone throughout the movie and was left wondering why he had bothered coming to see the movie in the first place."

      To video the whole thing on his iPhone and then post the resulting incredibly crappy cam footage on a moody torrent site to piss off everyone trying to download the film?

      Obvious really, innit?

    2. Sir Cosmo Bonsor

      Indeed

      I similarly tend to wonder why people bother to go to tech conferences and then sit gawping at their iPhone the whole way through every single speaker. What's the point?

      1. heyrick Silver badge

        @ Sir Cosmo

        Maybe they're Wikiing to figure out who the heck that is speaking...?

  4. Stoneshop
    Go

    If I were a bit closer to Austin

    they'd have gained a customer.

  5. mdava

    If I lived near their theatre . . .

    . . . .I'd visit purely because of that ad / blog post. Just excellent.

    1. LaeMing
      Go

      They are counting on it.

      As prominently in-one's-face as the idiots in society make themselves, I am prety sure a hugely greater number of people would find this cinema's attitude a draw, than a turn-off.

      Also, the complainer: "the cinema is too dark". WTF?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Drafthouse is renowned for their behaviour policy

    to the extent that they run trailers before the film explaining exactly what's going to happen if you text, talk or otherwise disrupt the screening. Of course, you may not see this if you're busy texting...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Best advert for a cinema ever!

    Most of my recent cinema experiences are thusly:

    Shell out far too much just to watch a film, then at the beginning for many minutes into the film some twunts just won't shut their big mouths, right at the point where you're trying to get into the plot/atmosphere of the film experience - highly distracting and one of many reasons I'm not a regular cinema goer.

    Thankfully I've not yet had the indignity of coat/bags being searched to find out if I'm carrying food/drink not purchased from the highly extortionate foyer or any sort of 'recording device', but the day that starts happening to me is the day I seriously think twice about cinema trips.

    So big thumbs up icon to the cinema that doesn't take crap from the degenerates that are too stupid and ignorant to understand how much they piss people off just by their behaviour in a cinema.

    I would love to see along side the "turn off your phone" pre-film messages a single line just saying - "This is a cinema where people have come to watch a film, not listen to your inane ramblings so STFU."

    1. ElReg!comments!Pierre

      Re: Shell far too much out

      Near my place there's a theater where the tickets are just 3$ (you actually buy them at the food counter, there is no proper ticket cash). Obviously not the quietest place in there, people tend to tralk etc, it makes for a completely different experience (closer to the early days of cinema I would think) but not unpleasant. Of course when you shell out 7-8 times that chit-chat, texting and sweets bags noises become much more annoying.

      (title just to annoy the anti-split brigade)

      1. LaeMing
        Happy

        I guess it depends on the expectations.

        I can see how a talkative theatre audience might be great fun, as long as everyone is there with that expectation. Maybe cineman should offer "talking" and "non-talking" screenings.

        1. ElReg!comments!Pierre

          @LaeMing... expectations

          Well, the seat being 3 bucks, refunded or exchanged if you didn't like the movie, expectations tend to lean towards the "social" viewing model (no pr0n, mind you). That's not my "go-to" cinema for Gilliam, Lynch, Zhang, the "dogma" guys, or French neo-new-wave stuff., etc... But for old replays, nothing beats being able to discuss old nabbles with complete strangers.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    So

    America has ickle Jobsworths as well.

    1. Elmer Phud
      Meh

      You what?

      Are you happy to sit in the cinema while all around ypu don't give a shit about what's on the screen? If you don't want to watch the movie - why the hell are you there in the first place?

      This, as you wel know, is not a case of 'jobsworth' but of someone who can't give a shit about other people and then has the nerve to grumble publicly when informed that there are actually other people sharnig the same planet as them.

      I can only assume you will also moan about some football (that's soccer to anyone else) 'fans' being ejected and arrested for thier continuous racist chants during a game. That their 'rights' to watch the game' have been breached.

      meh, indeed

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Coffee/keyboard

        Yay result

        Godwin's law in one!

        How do I know? I just read the article, then applied my prior experience of the bitter and twisted mental state of someone who has worked as an usher and drawn the complete opposite conclusion to you.

        "Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting wabbits"

      2. Citizen Kaned

        erm, no....

        its football to the world and soccer to the nation too stupid to invent their own names for sports. football was around a hundred or so years before your padded rugby bore-fest.

        <goes to invent a sport called baseball where men run around in tutus and doesnt have a ball or uses bases />

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Mushroom

      So

      You're a selfish asshole too?

  9. Ryan Kendall
    Thumb Up

    If only they had one near me

    I would love a cinema that banned mobile phones and actually kicked them out, so annoying seeing a lit up phone in a pitch black room.

  10. Cyclist
    Mushroom

    Superb.

    But... if theatre manglement are so keen to stop the rest of the punters from being distracted, why do they happily sell huge buckets of popcorn or sweets in plastic wrapping, that's made into a huge f*****ng drama being eaten as noisily as possible by the rest of the semi-educated slack-jawed customer? Oh - silly me - there's money in convincing a surly teenager that a film isn't complete without a colossal bucket of popcorn, plus a gallon of coke. That sort of distraction's allowed - there's money in it. Txting? On yer bike.

    The first 20 minutes of the Senna film the other night was completely wrecked by these oiks who can't survive for any length of time without their comfort food. And it's all with the full blessing of house management. Stick your cinema.

    1. F111F
      Coat

      You Must Have Spock's Ears...

      for, unless the movie is about grass growing, the sound levels usually leave me deaf to normal sound levels for a few minutes afterwards. And, as I've spent most of my working life around running jet engines, that takes a LOT of noise to do.

      ...mine's the one with the smuggled-in crisp packets in the pockets...

      1. Cyclist
        Facepalm

        Seriously?

        Good films have a wide range of volume, like the Senna film - clearly v loud in places, sometimes deathly quiet and I don't think I'm giving the game away with that statement. You might take 20 minutes to adjust, my ears don't and when some ill-trained teenager & his mate are sitting 18" from my ears the noise of their dining performance is a major major distraction.

        I want a film to sweep me up, to take me away, to let me be part of it. A plastic bucket of popcorn being eaten in the seat behind prevents that. Since when did people lose the ability to sit quietly for an hour & three-quarters without needing a sugar rush?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      femto cell in the cinema?

      So you think if there where femto cell devices sold to cinemas so that they can provide a highly expensive roaming service to mobile phone user, then the phone usage would be allowed?

      I think I have a business idea!

      Anon so I am getting killed by the other commenters before bagging my million.

  11. NoOnions
    Mushroom

    @AC 11:35

    So, throwing out a tosspot who is spoiling the film for many other people makes them a Jobsworth does it?

    Still, I guess fun for you is kicking the seat in front - loser.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coffee/keyboard

      "fun for you is kicking the seat in front" Erm no.

      I'm also not.

      So autistic I need people to sit up straight, stop fidgeting and be silent in order to enjoy watching a film.

      Filled with a bitter hatred of anyone who is younger then me or enjoying life more then I am at the present moment.

      Sexually frustrated enough to join a mob bullying another human being.

      Gullible enough to trust the account of someone who is trying to humiliate someone in this way.

      Prone to making random accusations about the habits of people who disagree with me .

      Just for you

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=py3u3P9OpBE

      A good Garden Centre might be able to help you with your onion problem.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well that was one of the reasons I stopped going to the movies...

    Now if they can just stop the people who feel they need to talk through it.

    The food and drink they serve, as its just as distracting and makes a mess everywhere - My feet shouldnt stick to the carpet.

    And the outrageous tickets prices - I'm only there for a couple of hours I dont know why I'm paying the staffs wages for the week!

  13. andy gibson

    good on 'em for having balls

    The last time I visited a cinema the staff were too scared to do anything about a group of lads texting, talking and chucking food and ice cubes around.

  14. dodge
    FAIL

    Not brilliantly well handled by the theatre

    Most (right thinking) people agree that people texting during a movie is bloody irritating and inconsiderate. But in the ad above, the movie house is preaching to the converted.

    Nowhere do they appear to explain that the pointless rambling chickie was asked to stop, and they don't say WHY it's their policy. So thick-heads that text will still not understand why their behaviour is unwelcome.

    Messaging fail.

    1. Stoneshop
      FAIL

      You want them to explain why?

      Their business is to allow visitors to enjoy a movie. This appears to me as being basic knowledge, no further explanation required. People who fail to grasp (or choose to ignore) this bit of knowledge, are extremely unlikely to be swayed by bits of information (signs, lead-in announcements, cluebats), so it's wasted effort.

      Anything that disrupts that enjoyment, disrupts their business. And given that it's within their premises, they can do whatever they like to disrupt the disruptions, short of summarily executing the disruptor. With or without further explanation as to why.

  15. aurelian
    Thumb Up

    superb rant

    If that was unscripted, I'm genuinely impressed. She really should be famous. Certainly better than Christian Bale's effort.

  16. Daniel 31
    Trollface

    Saw it before the news broke.

    I saw this vid linked from another site before the reg posted it. Yesterday the un censored version only had 350 views when I saw it, not its close to 350,000 :-D

    Troll face cause it has nothing to do where I saw the video first. honest gov ;-)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    If

    *if* this sort of thing annoyed me significantly, I'd go to a dodgy website, buy a cheap phone jammer for $27 (delivered) and switch it on whenever I see phones around me light up, the frustraition in their little faces, lit up by their phones screen would be worth every penny, ummm... I mean if they were legal to use in the UK that is ;-)

  18. benzaholic
    Angel

    Alamo Drafthouse is one of Austin's charms

    The people that run the Alamo Drafthouse, at least here in Austin, really, really love movies.

    They serve decent food, sometimes excellent, have a strong selection of beers, don't show you 20 minutes of oversized TV commercials before each movie, instead digging up things like Japanese pseudo-BatMan TV shows to show before a BatMan movie, for example.

    They always show fairly aggressive PSAs about leaving your phone alone, and obviously, they mean it. Nice to see them getting international acclaim for this one.

  19. Jim 59

    Customers

    I dunno. You have to be careful with this "despising your customers" thing. It's okay to politely eject a customer, or bar them permanently. But going to this length simply in order to make the miscreant look foolish ? Sounds pretty spiteful to me. Maybe even illegal.

    Never been distracted by a texter myself, mind. Must drive you insane.

    1. Stoneshop

      @Jim 59

      In general business you may be right. In niche markets, other things come into play. It's clear this texting twat was not a member of their target customer group. Making an example of one of the more annoying ones to more clearly present yourself to your target group may well be beneficial as well as therapeutical.

  20. Marina
    Happy

    The challenge now...

    ... is to lure the management of that movie theatre into taking jobs as traffic cops in Los Angeles...

    1. MarkieMark1
      Paris Hilton

      at least in LA

      there's a law against handheld telephones while driving; to witness real decadence you have to travel to Miami, 90% of drivers are driving one-handed as a result of holding their telephones, truly awful dozy driving

  21. Blubster
    Happy

    Conniption

    At least I've learned a new word from the Blog's comments - Conniption: un-controlled rage or anger - Britspeak for throwing a wobbly.

  22. Stevie

    Bah!

    The Fellowship of the Ring, scene at Galadriel's Mirror: Phone rings five seats to my left - Mozart's 40th and the owner, who clearly misunderstood the meaning of the movie's title, lets it run through a few times. Then he answers it and starts yapping at the top of his voice (all that film soundtrack was drowning him out ). I finally stood up and yelled "PUT THAT BLOODY PHONE AWAY" and got a small round of applause.

    Git says "I've got to go, some idiot wants me to shut up".

    Pirates of the Caribbean at Worlds End. Sat next to four twentysomethings who spent the entire movie texting. Flashlight bright screens were dazzling me and I asked the nitwit next to me FOUR TIMES to angle his screen somewhere other than in my face over the course of the film. Each time he seemed genuinely sorry and unaware he was being a git.

    Personally, I think people should not be allowed to own electronics with a higher IQ than their own, and I applaud this cinema in taking the idiotette's own now-public domain rant and using it against her and all her ilk.

    1. LaeMing
      Thumb Up

      "people should not be allowed to own electronics with a higher IQ than their own"

      I'm putting that on a plaque. A big one over my equipment-loans window.

    2. PsychicMonkey
      Joke

      that

      would kill iPhone sales stone dead.....

  23. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Mobiles during performances (opera in this instance)

    After a big trauma at an opera, I now remove the battery physically before entering the auditorium.

    I once accidentally dropped a live Nokia down the back of the seat in front, during last year's run of "Niobe, Regina di Tebe" at the Royal Opera House, just after the beginning of the second act. The 25 mins attempting to retrieve it were some of the worst of my life.

    I was rightfully physically battered by an 85 year old lady in the row behind. Thank god there was applause after every (superb) aria - as after the fifth lot of applause I managed to get the guy in front to look below his seat for the third time and we got it. But I'll never forget the cold sweat and dread it might go off and me be banned for life.

    Fail because it was one of my biggest ever fuckups.

    1. Ivan Headache
      Happy

      The actor Richard Griffiths

      (Harry Potter's uncle Vernon, Uncle Monty in Withnail and I and Henry Crabbe in Pie in the Sky) has stopped mid performance on the London stage three times to berate mobile phone users who have interrupted performances by letting their phones ring.

      Oh the number of times I wished he could have been in my carriage on the train home of an evening.

  24. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Mushroom

    I'm just waiting

    For the day I can get my hands on a pocket-sized mobile phone frequency blocker.

    On that day, I will go back to cinemas, confident that nobody will be texting or phoning anywhere near me (preferably in a 15m radius).

  25. kain preacher

    @Marina

    Unless plan on allowing these cops to have machine guns you are not going to change the driving habits of folks in LA.

    Ps even if they did allow it, the amount of ammo needed would drive LAPD broke.

    1. Radelix
      Devil

      They couldn't stop that

      With some of the tanks people drive around here, they'll need a howitzer or a flamethrower. Either is acceptable actually

  26. Head

    Hmm

    I am in Australia, yet i want to fly to the US to go see a film at that cinema now.

  27. T J
    Thumb Up

    Gods bless you people

    And preserve thee! Having watched a Dame Maggie Smith play get nearly ruined by a phone going off ..... words cannot express my desire to smash!

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