back to article Nutter preflames El Reg 'cockheads'

God alone knows, we at El Reg are used to taking a bit of stick, but it's come to something when the nutters crawl out of the woodwork before we've even had a chance to offend. Take the recent Barnes & Noble/Microsoft outrage. Naturally, our top people were instantly on the job, and they also managed to find time to cover the …


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  1. mafoo


    Why didn't they put more question marks in????????????????


  2. jake Silver badge

    That made my evening :-)

    And it's not quite Friday, at least here in California ...

    Keep up the good work, ElReg ... I may not always agree with all'y'all, but the entertainment factor, combined with actual tech news, makes for a must read over my first cuppa ... Or, rather, in this case, over a couple sips of the must from last year's crush, now turning into wine, before bed :-)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That;s the funniest thing I've heard in ages


  4. frank ly Silver badge

    Sensible Precautions

    "The Beast of Redmond has just coughed a cheque ..."

    Did you thoroughly clean it and check it for viruses before you installed it in your bank account?

  5. Neal 5

    obviously a wanker

    he didn't comment on the size of your lamentable small penis, as your wife keeps telling me.

  6. Warren G


    The "author" of the flame seems more concerned that you haven't written a story.

    I'd like to complain that you didn't cover the Royal Wedding after-party....

  7. Lionel Baden

    I object

    To everything !!

    well not really

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There's a different challenge now

    write an article sufficiently drenched in bias, poor reporting and push-buttoneering to justify the venom of the flame.

    We could make that a regular game!

    1. LuMan


      Well, I object to your objecting... and then not objecting.

      It's totally objectionable!

    2. Sir Cosmo Bonsor

      Thanks for clearing that up, Captain Obvious


    3. Darryl

      Of course he did

      He ran it through Microsoft Security Essentials

  9. Richard Jukes


    COCKHEAD! Now that is certainly an under used form of abuse. And some people eh? Genocide is just too good for them...

  10. Blue eyed boy

    Troll alert

    We get that sort of twaddle regularly on the newsgroups, from a few well known sources. The unenlightening email address just confirms that what you have there is the typical troll. Ignore him, don't give him publicity, and maybe he'll go away to annoy somebody else.

    (We need a "non-shouty" icon e.g. the same megaphone but with a thick red X through it)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It could be

      ...The name of a dear little English village!

  11. peter 45

    The Big Story

    II think that you have missed the really big story here. You uncovered proof that one of your commentators can predict the future. After all what you did write was worth of that comment anyway.

  12. GeorgeTuk

    Ha ha ha, love this.

    Just shows what retards are out there on the internets!

    No face seems to mean you can say anything without any comeback even if it is only people laughing in your face.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I think it's nice that they let these people have access to a computer keyboard. Even if it is probably only because they can't be trusted with anything as sharp as a pen.

  14. Efros


    Enough of the pro-apple flummery Thou droning tardy-gaited pignut!

  15. BorkedAgain

    "...polish his impressively thick news pencil..."


  16. Alister Silver badge

    preemptive strike

    Obviously the gentleman had a point he wished to make, and was upset that you didn't give him the opportunity to use his impressive commentard skills in the usual fashion.

    Maybe he'll be along in a bit to further abuse you...

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    it's a title


  18. Jim 59

    Preemptive commentard

    The next poster is talking complete horlicks.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      would be getting someone else to polish it for him.

    2. Marky W
      Thumb Up

      You were right!

      Or does this post make *me* the next poster? Confused.

      It seems you're right either way. Have a biscuit.

    3. jake Silver badge

      @AC 10:06

      Eloquent, but not very expressive. D+, must try harder.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "may or may not"

    Oh, that's very professional. What the fuck am I paying for? So some wannabe journalist can decide whether or not he can be bothered to get his fat arse out of bed.

    Sorry, lacking inspiration. Might try again later after a beer. Need to work on the spelling and grammar, too...

  20. Elmer Phud Silver badge


    I thought you lot were supposed to be iWhores.

    Cockheads? , whatever happend to bell-end, knob-end, dickhead?

    "Your all going to hell you den of thieves and crooks". Apart from the lack of punctuation where's the industry-standard 'loosers' taunt? or did it get loost on the way?

    maybe 'fail' instead of 'wtf?', needs to put more work in to the bile, poor effort 2 out of 10.

    1. Rob

      You missed out...

      ... knob-cheese, always makes me giggle (the actual phrase mind you, not the real thing cause my bread isn't buttered that side).

  21. Bill Fresher
    Paris Hilton


    If I insult the people who insulted the person for insulting the reg. will I get insulted?

  22. Swiss


    First of all, I object in the most strongest possible terms about whatever article you may or may not be writing about covering some random subject matter in the near or distant future, it's utter drivel you arserags! Just thought i'd get that one in.

    I would also like to point out that I believe should the identity of of the "Cockhead"™ bomber be identified, he will no doubt be issued a writ of copywrite infringment by Apple™ for use of the term Cockhead™ which I understand is the generic name given to their litigation team.

    Is it Friday yet?

  23. Jacob Lipman
    Black Helicopters

    Is the first helicopter

    ... Well, you know.

  24. WhoIsThis?

    Objections please.........

    I wish to pre-emptively object to my any future article you publish, or fail to publish. I also wish to pre-emptively object to your publishing or not publishing of my objections to said article(s). Then I wish to object to the article about my objections. Obviously then I will object to my own objections in an everlasting loop.

    Why, oh why, oh why????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

    Have a nice day.

  25. g e

    I know that guy

    His name really IS 'Cockhead'

    Which, as is turns out, is perfectly apt, happily.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      A colleague of mine, in a work argument, got called a dickhead. His response was to craft a set of male genitals from a block of bluetack --- and spend the rest of the day with it stuck to the middle of his forehead.

      Ahhh... true dickheads! The world needs you!

      (and... Andrew! Where are you know?)

  26. Anonymous Coward

    elREGs posting policy

    Personally I have always found the elREG posting policy fair, except when certain people disable comments, yes I mean you Andrew Orlowski, signed an anonymous coward ... :)

    1. F Seiler

      re: no comments

      I always assumed that was a rather obvious form of sadism

  27. AdamWill

    Dear Sir

    In response to your article of next Thursday, I'll have you know there will be a perfectly reasonable and plausible explanation for the presence of those parakeets in my bathroom, and I am outraged and insulted that you will print such misleading insinuations.

  28. Scorchio!!



    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward



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