back to article Steve Jobs screws my wife (out of $944)

I couldn't tell who was more excited about our new electronic toy: me or my wife. She snuck out of bed at 3 am local time on March 11 to order me an iPad 2, and considering how much my wife likes sleep, that probably means she still likes me, even after sixteen years of dating and marriage. At least enough to shell out $729 …

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  1. William Boyle
    Happy

    Gotta laugh!

    Thanks! I got a good belly laugh from this "article" / confession! You got an iPad 2 for your b'day - I got a telescope for mine! :-) Hope you enjoy the iPad as much as I know I am going to enjoy my present, once the weather clears up... :-)

  2. Bill Cumming
    Coat

    I'd suggest...

    ...A trip to your local vehicle accessory store and a few bits of masking tape.

    Buy a can of Ferrari Red Spray paint.

    Mask of the bits of the iPad2 you don't want covered in paint (i.e. the camera!)

    ...and go to town on the thing (while outside! the fumes are bad Mmmmkk!!)

    There fixed! One vulturized (sic?) White Ipad2 for your pleasure...

    ..Mines the one with the spray can and hammer in the pocket... :)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Save some pennies.

      Don't mask off the camera, I mean, 700k, really? That's atrocious.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        asdf

        "Don't mask off the camera, I mean, 700k, really? That's atrocious"

        whut?

    2. Disco-Legend-Zeke

      If It's Genuine...

      ...leather, a visit to a proper shoe repair shop should provide a strip and dye experience for your cover.

      1. maclovinz
        Happy

        Real leather?

        Who still uses real leather? XD

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    relevance?

    What does this have to do with Steve Jobs?

    In what way was your wife screwed out of money? It seems that you have already found the device useful.

    This article seems like it belongs on the cover of Womens Weekly, not the pages of a tech blog. It's a story, and not a very good one at that. Man dislikes apple, man ends up buying apple (or being bought apple in this case).... wow riveting stuff.

    1. mafoo
      Pint

      i would go with...

      ...tickled

      possible tickled pink.

    2. Gordon 10

      Maybe because

      He has a sense of humour - unlike yourself.

      If this annoyed you so much why did you read to the end and bother to post about it?

    3. LaeMing
      FAIL

      Have to agree.

      The title is a cynical attention(clicks)-graber with no actual relevance to the article.

      I don't see how you (or your wife) can be "screwed" out of money if you are satisfied with the result.

      It is like having a headline "Terrorists are going to kill us all" and then an article about how, no they really aren't.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re

        "I don't see how you (or your wife) can be "screwed" out of money if you are satisfied with the result."

        Because the article is about how the iPad doesn't do anything. It does everything exactly the same as older technology. It provides the author no new capabilities, is neither magical nor revolutionary.

        And that's why butthurt Apple fanboys like you are posting. No one is allowed to look behind the curtain.

        1. LaeMing
          FAIL

          This "butthurt Apple fanboy"

          Is a going on 10-year GNU\Linux user. Who considers Apple did to BSD with OSx was much like what Kathy Bates did to James Caan in /Misery/. But that doesn't stom me calling out BS when I see it applied.

          Have a pointless day.

    4. Marvin the Martian
      FAIL

      An why would we give a monkey's about Penn State?

      Or what schools they are in whatever sort of rivalry with? Sheesh.

      1. Getter lvl70 Druid
        FAIL

        Re: Marvin the Infidel

        We don't come in here dissing the Manchester Silly Nannies Futbol Club now do we? Show a little tolerance for things you just can't understand, Ohio State is evil...

        Go Vols!

        "Rocky Top, You'll always be, home sweet home to meeee.

        Good ol' Rocky Top, Rocky Top, Tennessee!"

        On a Side Note: How Dare You show Your face here after failing to destroy the Earth so many, many times? Like anybody would listen to you.....

        :)

  4. nick47

    Kilopixel?

    Never heard that one before!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re

      The time when the term would have been relevant was in the 80s, by the 90s we already had megapixel digital cameras.

  5. umakegoodcookies

    attitude revealed

    ha ha ha... "And of course, this being Apple, I won't be able to upgrade the camera ever."... Morgan's right, I'm going to have to make sure I get one of those tablets with replaceable cameras so I can upgrade it if I want. I should have gotten one of those phones too.

  6. Efros

    Hope you're wife enjoyed it

    Personally I gave $100 to Archos and got a 7 Home Tablet, with Android. Smaller, lighter not as responsive but 850 bucks cheaper!

    1. Marvin the Martian
      Flame

      Either that,

      or the "home-made cream pie". I was shocked to read such dirty references.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Jobs Horns

      Don't worry dear

      We don't need to spend valentine's day at Claridges, I've booked the best Western. It's just as good.

      I'm sure your wife enjoys it also.

  7. jake Silver badge

    Piss-poor camera? Eh? But ...

    ... wasn't there a commentard claiming that there were "professional" iPhoneographers? Maybe I miss-read the comment. Wouldn't be the first time ;-)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You didn't

      Yeah, there are people who call themselves iPhoneographers and some even manage to sell their work.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Different cameras

      The iPad 2 has worse cameras (for still pictures) than even the original iPhone, and those were appalling compared to the 5mp autofocus camera in the iPhone 4.

      So yeah, you can take good pics with an iPhone, just not with an iPad!

    3. bubba-bear

      Pinhole camera photogs too

      There have been gallery exhibitions of pictures using pinhole cameras and cheap Polaroid cameras too.

  8. ashkelon

    I'll take the slate PC, please

    I found the article amusing, on several levels, but I'll never understand why anyone really wants one of these weak sisters. I've been using Motion Computing slates for over 10 years now and love them. Rugged, understated, beautiful and REAL PCs. http://www.motioncomputing.com/

  9. Ian Michael Gumby
    Flame

    Someone must have had a short deadline and a lousy idea for an article.

    "I cut my computing teeth on an old Ohio Scientific Z80 machine with deal eight-inch floppy drives back in the early 1980s."

    Wow!

    Talk about flashbacks. Only I cut my teeth a few years earlier on an Ohio Scientific C3A.

    But then again, I lived pretty close to the factory.... (Aurora Ohio).

    I thought I could respect a fellow Ohio Scientific owner except when you made the following comment:

    "But to my horror, the back of the iPad 2 is gray brushed aluminum with a black apple and black sensors, and when you take it all in, that makes it an Ohio State BuckeyePad, Penn State's arch rival. I will get a blue leather cover as soon as Apple makes one."

    I'm sorry, Penn State who? Sure I respect Joe Pa as one of College Football's coaching greats. (Along w Woody and I'll even salute Bo since he was an Asst Coach under Woody...) But Penn State isn't much of a rival since Tressel took over.

    But I'll overlook that...for now.

    You continue to write...

    "I don't like the idea of using Google Docs because it is bad enough that Google is reading my office email, does it have to read what I am writing as I am writing it?"

    True, but the iPad lacks a real keyboard and of course you can purchase a wireless one for it, but that then defeats the purpose of the iPad where a regular laptop has its value.

    I'm am by no means an Apple fanboi. And I'm sure you'll get flamed by them. I am however someone who has waited for the iPad2. It will allow me to easily surf the web, do e-mail, and of course act as my e-reader of .pdfs and e-books. Sure there are other apps, but its the fact that I can easily have all of my technical documents that I get in .pdf forms, easily available on one device.

    While the Kindle DX would also allow this, it unfortunately does't handle resizing as well and doesn't handle e-mail or web site wikis where some other documents exist.

    But I really have to flame the author because the head line doesn't really match the content. Its more of a story how the author lacks vision or need for a new 'play toy'.

  10. Jaruzel

    The REAL Question is...

    ...where can I get one of those wonderful el-reg Coffee Mugs?

    1. Annihilator
      Unhappy

      Cash'n'Carrion?

      el Reg used to sell stuff like this at the Cash'n'Carrion, but all links redirect back to theregister.co.uk - so think it disappeared..

      1. davemcwish
        Dead Vulture

        You haven't looked very hard for Vulture Central Goodies have you ?

        Are available at http://www.cafepress.co.uk/cashncarrion and http://376181.spreadshirt.co.uk/

  11. David Lucke

    Can't think of a title. Its too early on a Monday

    Charles Stross posted this about writing on an iPad last year - its a bit out of date now, but its a good starting point. But to summarize, DocsToGo seems to the be the app of choice, with Pages a good competitor. Not sure about Word compatability, though.

    http://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/2010/05/ipad-writing-stuff.html

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re

      "Not sure about Word compatability, though."

      So, entirely useless then?

  12. jzedward

    iPad Word Processing

    At least the author recognises it's a play oy, with limited work application - I wholly agree.

    As far as Word Processing, combining DropBox and Office2HD is the answer. DropBox is great multiplatform doc store, integrated with Office2HD. It also nicely lets you drop pdfs and ebooks into your DropBox folder and open them in iBooks without the nasty virus that is iTunes.

    Another unmissable (multiplatform) is Instapaper, to save interesting web pages and read later.

    I'm still looking for a decent note taking app - Evernote is nearly there, but not quite.

    1. Stu 3

      Note taking app

      Notes Plus is the app you are looking for...

  13. tkioz
    FAIL

    False Advertising!

    False Advertising! Here I come awaiting a nice juicy rant about something nasty that Apple has done now and all I get is a love letter to Steve? I want my 2mins back!

  14. CalumX

    StarTACs and word processing

    I use Documents to Go on the iPhone (and used it on a Palm PDA before that). I've not tried the iPad version, but I think its pretty good on the iPhone.

    And I too, had a StarTAC.. till destruction :)

  15. petur
    Dead Vulture

    Get a life

    When reading a book, you don't stab the pages either, you flip them by grabbing them on the sides. Forcing touch interfaces on everything doesn't always make sense, and I would vote for the Kindle way: no need to release it to flip a page (with an ipad, you need to let one hand go to flip via the screen, try that when you're holding it in one hand)

    But if the color of the cover freaks you out, and you eat ice-cream while in bed, the ipad is definitely for you!

    1. Lionel Baden
      Thumb Up

      Well done

      But if the color of the cover freaks you out, and you eat ice-cream while in bed, the ipad is definitely for you!

      This comment explains everything about the Author !!!!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        RE: Well done

        I think that ....

        "I went with the Red and White for my iPad look"

        Did a good enough job...but yes, you are right too!

  16. Herby

    This just means that...

    ...when my wife gets her USED iPad (1) it will be that much cheaper. Of course, for all those purchases, I just wonder at the price of Apple stock (I think my basis is around $7/share).

    Keep on buying those iPad2's

  17. Gotno iShit Wantno iShit

    Nice article but...

    "Right now, the iPad 2 is going to be my Kindle and my portable Web browser. I know people love their Kindles, but I like color and I also like touchscreens. Sorry, but there is no going back once you have been there."

    Back? My arse. I have neither a pad nor an eink reader but having tried both if I decide I want to go the electronic book route then there's no way it'll be an LCD. I have a laptop with an excellent non glossy screen and I have tried reading PDF books, its a bloody awful experience. If I need to read a large document I'll print it. However I found the Kindle and Sony I've tried just fine for 2 hours plus hard study.

    "My Droid is empty and has been for two years except for photos, with the Droid having replaced expensive still and video digital cameras of higher quality. Convenience does trump quality sometimes, but the iPad 2, at 300 kilopixels for the front facing camera and 700 kilopixels for the rear facing one, is bloody awful. And of course, this being Apple, I won't be able to upgrade the camera ever. Apple should have put the 5 megapixel camera in the iPad 2."

    Convenience trumps quality, so why do you need a quality camera in your pad? Most people take their phone everywhere, to the pub, gig, work, whatever. Chances are when you are out with your iPad you'll have your phone too so what is the point of a quality camera on your pad? Waving a slab in the air does not fit my idea of convenience. As for complaining it's not upgradable that's just laughably naive. You don't get modularity on a device this compact.

    The biggest fail IMO of the iPad2 is the screen. Kudos to Apple for not using an aspect ratio designed for movie theatres on a computing device but if 326ppi is correct for an iPhone how on earth can 132ppi be defended on an iPad 2? Not so much revolutionary as archaic.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Stop

      Costs...

      If you can source the 326ppi screen that the PoS is kept to where it is then you'll have a point.

    2. Ian Michael Gumby
      Boffin

      Printing out documents?

      "Back? My arse. I have neither a pad nor an eink reader but having tried both if I decide I want to go the electronic book route then there's no way it'll be an LCD. I have a laptop with an excellent non glossy screen and I have tried reading PDF books, its a bloody awful experience. If I need to read a large document I'll print it. However I found the Kindle and Sony I've tried just fine for 2 hours plus hard study."

      I tried to explain the reasons why I wanted an e-reader to my wife....

      I printed out just one of my tech manuals from a .pdf. 380 pages. You do know how large 380 pages are, right?

      Now just for that one system, I have 4 documents like that.

      And there are other products that I support . Then there's the list of books that I constantly use for references because I have the memory of a gold fish... ;-)

      So. Imagine having 1 device that contains all of those books and .pdf documents, that can also do e-mail, web, internet chats/IM ...

      Plus at my age... I don't really enjoy the 1.6 miles of walking commute carrying a book back filled with books and a laptop.... Especially in winter when there's ice on the sidewalks.

      So yeah. I'll take the iPad2 for now, and when the iPad comes out with the improved processors and higher screen resolution... my wife will get this and I'll get the new one.

      1. Gotno iShit Wantno iShit

        Re: Printing out documents?

        Fair points all IMG, I have the memory of a gold fish too. I carry buckets of pdfs and project documents on my laptops and have no problems with the screen for a days work, reference or lookup. But if a chapter or a drawing needs digesting in depth I just don't get on with an LCD. The other functions you mention I do directly on a Desire or via it tethered. That's what works for me, vive la difference.

        My gripe is with TPM's comment that an iPad screen is superior to a Kindle screen for the purpose of reading ebooks. I can't accept that. Reading a book is not the same as referencing a technical manual. I spend a lot of time away from home for work and while travelling and overseas I get through a good number of books. Regularly packing and carrying sufficient dead trees to get me through a 6 to 9 week rotation is a significant motivator to put a lot of thought into getting an ebook reader. When I do make the jump it will have a screen designed to be the best paper replacement possible and not one designed for entirely different purposes.

  18. Paul 129
    Coat

    It is a confession!

    Can't even get it in the right colour, LOL. Not a total loss though he did use it as a portable video player.

    Its amazing how many people have to show off their new ipad, who then use it as a glorified picture frame. Apple could sell ice to the Inuit...

    Damn that Steve he's trying to rifle my families pockets again....

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Sorry but ...

    We have an i-pad in the office and I bought the wife a kindle (avid book reader) for her birthday and as far as reading comfort goes there's simply no comparison IMO. e-ink is a much easier on the eye experience than a 'regular' screen. There's also an experimental kindle web browser which of course is nowhere near browsing the web 'properly' like on an i-pad but its good enough to check the email and read articles.

    Also the fact that it's SO much cheaper, even with a lifetime of free 3G access makes kindle the winner over the i-pad as a reading device any day.

  20. Ian Ferguson
    Thumb Down

    Hmm

    Decent enough article, but I hope your wife doesn't read it. Talk about gratitude!

  21. sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD
    Jobs Horns

    Re: And I don't quite know how much I can do with.

    /nod

    I recently had the opportunity of using an ipad for a few weeks. Only used it to read the papers and like stuff which I sincerely believe it excels at. For sites like El Reg which I routinely plaster with comments of dubious value, it sucks.

    Youtube videos ... yeah that too but you can't save 'em on an iPad (at least I didn't think the browser had such add-ons, maybe they do now). Here where banwidth is metered, that's a big disadvantage.

    Yeah, it's nice... It's really flashy.. but wouldn't buy one for 2 reasons :

    1) don't need one

    2) Apple/Jobs... yadadada etc...

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @bullseyed

        "It has a bigger screen, but that doesn't change anything. You still read one sentence at a time."

        But the bigger screen does change things - it's less work on both the eyes and the fingers to read on a bigger screen (up to a certain point), and therefore less annoying. Reading on my phone is annoying and tiring as I continually have to scroll down. The eink screen of my ebook reader is better - it's larger and eink is gentle on the eyes. But I prefer thew ipad as the bigger screen is nicer to read off.

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