back to article Lindsay Lohan ditches her surname

Bespeckled thespiatrix Lindsay Lohan has dealt a serious blow to the El Reg space paper plane bureau by announcing she's going to drop the "Lohan" and emerge as just "Lindsay". According to her mum Dina, there are two reasons for the rebrand: first up, loads of megacelebs like Oprah and Beyonce thrive on a first-name-only …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Celebutard?

    Celebutard? I always thought it was "celebretard"... Though I suppose either way it gets the desired point across.

    Paris, obviously!

    1. unitron

      It's a three-fer (or a three-way)

      I think the idea behind celebutard is to combine celebrity, debutante, and retard (a "word" I eschew).

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

        Why not cerebretard?

        no typo there

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Retard

        "I think the idea behind celebutard is to combine celebrity, debutante, and retard (a "word" I eschew)."

        Indeed. Retard isn't AFAIK a noun and shouldn't be used as such, unless you happen to be a septic in which case it seems to be acceptable to use a nound as a verb or a verb as a noun or probably an adjective as either.

        I seem to recall a Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin declares his liking for "verbing words". Hobbes replies that maybe one day they will be able to make language a complete impediment to understanding.

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: Retard

          It's wordplay. You know? It doesn't have to make perfect sense, but then I realise the audience we're dealing with here.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apparently Michael has claimed that Lohan is "a name of integrity"

    you can hear the laughter from 60,000ft

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      title

      What above Earth are you doing at 60,000ft???

      1. Alister Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        What above Earth are you doing at 60,000ft???

        Sigh...

        This is the P.A.R.I.S section, did you not get it?

        Paris... well... as above, really - she always gets it

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Possibly

        Getting away from Lindsay Lohan? Sorry, I forgot, she's now rebranded. I'll start again with her new proper name:

        Getting away from Lindsay, that's spelt T W A T.

        1. Avatar of They Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          I can think of lots of acronyms but none sadly for your space plane.

          I was too slow and you beat me to typing just what I was thinking.

          If this wasn't in the PARIS section I would have been very keen to point out that it isn't IT related (I never thought I would be saying that) and more importantly, that no one really cares what the useless, talentless and Z listed American chav does with her drug / alcohol addled life.

        2. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
          Joke

          No, no, no

          "Getting away from Lindsay, that's spelt T W A T."

          No, no, that's staying close. You didn't pay attention in biology, did you?

  3. Trevor 3
    Pint

    LINDSAY

    Lithium Ion\Nickel Derived Stratospheric Aeroplane\Yacht?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    LINDSAY

    Lester's

    Ingenious

    Notch

    Design

    Space

    Aeroplane

    Yeah!

    OK so I'm not great at it! And to acheive a notch design you'd have to, erm, cut notches in it

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What about this?

    Lindsay = Low income notwithstanding, daring into space attempting yardage? Mmmm.. Not good enough, I could not find a better one with "y"

    Maybe someone else can find a better one. Come on, Ubuntu comes up with even more ridiculous naming each release.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I like it - how about

      Lester's

      (most)

      Ingenious

      Not-so

      Deep

      Space

      Aeroplane

      Yet

      ?

  6. Nigel Brown

    The biggest problem with this plan

    is that she's not a megacelebrity, but a two-bit actress of dubious ability and alley-cat morals.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    an end to riding

    the Li Lo of fame

  8. djs

    LIndSAy

    Light INDependent Space AnchovY

    Just don't forget the salty fish payload.

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      That's only the second biggest

      The biggest: Oprah, Beyonce, Lindsay. One of these names is not like the other.

      1. Fuh Quit
        Thumb Up

        you forgot Ernie

        Oprah, Beyonce, Lindsay, Ernie. Only three have been on Sesame Street......and that's a true measurement of talent ;-)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      She's an actress?

      Well, you learn something every day

    3. Richard 120
      Thumb Up

      Brilliant

      That works on at least 2 levels

  9. Oliver Mayes

    What about

    Largely inebriated nation dare send airplanes yonder

  10. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    If you want a backcronym ...

    Yet Another Space Diving Newspaper Illustrating Landscapes

    1. Thomas 4

      Not bad

      Just needs a little tidying:

      Legendary Info Newspage Dares Sending Airplanes Yonder

      1. A. Coatsworth
        Pint

        Re: Not bad

        You can get the best of the two worlds: Largely Inebriated Newspage Dares Sending Airplanes Yonder.

        Previous PARIS coverage gives plenty of support for that affirmation!

        Cheers

        1. Intractable Potsherd
          Thumb Up

          Surely...

          ... Largely Inebriated Newspage Dares *Send* Aeroplanes/Aircraft Yonder (yep, spelling pedant on flying things).

      2. Michael Dunn
        Headmaster

        @Thomas 4

        Hey, you don't use a gerund after dare(s).

  11. DrXym Silver badge

    The real reason

    Lindsay clearly hocked her surname to score some blow

  12. Code Monkey

    S.L.A.P.P.E.R.

    Space

    Launched

    Aeroplane

    Piloted

    (by)

    Playmonaut

    (with)

    Eventual

    Recovery

  13. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    LINDSAY

    Liquid-Influenced Normally-Destructive Self-Abusing Yelper

    Liquid-Influenced Normally-Destructive Satellite-Altitude Yelper

    The Y on the end makes it more difficult.

  14. Alien Doctor 1.1

    Backronym

    Launch

    Into

    Notably

    Darkened

    Space

    And

    Yippee

  15. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Fire up NAOMI

    Next Ascender and Orbiter - Manned (sort of) Interactive

    It's all the more aptly named if, on re-entry, this one crashed onto a hired help.

  16. Stuart Moore

    I have it...

    Largely

    Improvised

    Nerd

    Designed

    Space

    Aeronautical

    Yo-Yo

    (or possibly Yacht - but I like the concept of a "Yo Yo" device that could go up and down repeatedly to replace the Space Shuttle)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmmm

    Lunatics In Newroom Design Spaceplane And Yet ....

    1. Oliver Mayes
      Thumb Up

      I like it!

      Forget the space elevator, just have some bloke on the ISS with a bloody long yo-yo string.

      He lets it down and you quickly clip a payload onto it as it comes within a few feet of th eground, then with a flick of the wrist it's on it's way orbit-ward.

    2. LINCARD1000
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Fire up NAOMI

      You, Sir... had me choking with laughter. How very cynical of you :-D

    3. Thomas 4
      Thumb Up

      Mike's onto a winner with this one

      Near Apogee Orbiting Model Initiative

      1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

        Re: Mike's onto a winner with this one

        That's pretty good. Keep 'em coming...

        1. Trevor 3
          Pint

          how about?

          Next, Another Origami Manufactured Initiative

          The engineers will suffer from NAPS

          Not Another Paper Straw :-)

          1. Thomas 4
            IT Angle

            I think Naomi is one of the better candidates

            A lot of the other suggestions so far such as Keira Knightley, Natalie Portman, Anna Chapman, etc don't really have the right ingredients for "celebutard" status as I understand it.

            For a viable candidate, we need:

            * A colossal ego

            * A lack of intelligence, or pretence thereof

            * Regular newspaper articles detailing their latest screw-up or hissy fit

            Possible others include:

            * Being female (if we want to keep the PARIS, LOHAN, ?? theme running)

            * An IT angle would be beneficial (the infamous Youtube video for Miss Hilton and the Blackberry incident would qualify Miss Campbell - couldn't really say for the former Miss Lohan)

  18. lawndart

    Oo look it's a hash sign ->

    Launch Inhibiting Non-entity Delays Space Attempt Years.

  19. HaplessPoet

    I think...

    It's because she doesn't like being known as LiLo!

  20. Daniel 1

    You should go with your other 'poster guuurl'

    Covert High Altitude Payload Manned by Articulated Nonpareil

    Maybe call the balloon part the:

    Aeronautical Non-Navigable Assender

    We saw how fond you were of her... And she keeps on making the news.

  21. Tigra 07 Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    What was Lohan anyway?

    L ightweight

    O range

    H ula Hoop

    A ircraft

    N ik Naks

    I had to cheat and stick some of your sponsors in, oh and the plane needs to be orange for this to work, no thanks required!

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      Neat!!

      New keyboard please

    2. Josco

      no, it's an octothorpe

      Also, I had to Google miss Lohan. Quite pretty..... now if I could get her to wear some beer googles...

      1. Rattus Rattus

        @Josco

        "Quite pretty" - must have been an old photo.

  22. Cliff

    Promotion!

    Megan Fox, your day has come...

    Mastering Earth's Gravity And <something starting with N>

  23. Tigra 07 Silver badge
    Pint

    Got another one you could try...

    Jumbo

    Aircraft

    Created by

    Kindergarden

    Students

    Over

    Neverland

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