back to article Oz pair in blow-up sex doll whitewater ride

Police Down Under are less than impressed with a couple of jokers who decided it would be a wizard wheeze to ride inflatable sex dolls down a swollen Yarra River, prompting emergency service intervention to haul them from the torrent. The male and female joyriders, both 19, mounted their blow-up transportation in the Melbourne …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bubble Baba Challenge

    An impromptu repeat of an annual Russian event?

  2. Anomalous Cowturd
    WTF?

    Since when...

    has Melbourne been in Queensland?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Melbourne isn't in Queensland...

      ...Melbourne is in Victoria, as is much of Queensland's water.

    2. Black Betty

      Victoria, big chunks of NSW and bits of SA are being flooded too.

      But we still got a bit of drought happening over in Western Australia.

      1. Jedit
        Coat

        And also ...

        ... parts of NSFW?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Also a few parts of Tasmania

        but at 0.3% of Australias population, we are always forgotten. Thankfully not to many people's houses were flooded and no one died. but still a few days of 350+ mm of rain causes issues...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Paris Hilton

          Taswhoia?

          Taswhereia?

        2. CmdrX3
          Happy

          I've heard of that

          isn't that near Hawaii? ;-)

  3. Winkypop Silver badge
    Coat

    The Police later laid charges...

    ....the pair were said to be deflated by the ordeal.

  4. LinkOfHyrule
    Paris Hilton

    It's good to see...

    Good to see Monica and Lesbo Ferdinand back in action!

  5. Cunningly Linguistic

    The danger...

    ...seems to have been blown up out of all proportion.

    1. Thomas 4
      Coat

      Oh dear.

      That was dreadful, sir. You should be ashamed of yourself.

    2. Oliver Mayes
      Happy

      You get a thumbs up

      For the obscure Bottom reference.

      1. LinkOfHyrule
        Happy

        Thanks

        It's not obscure it's a classic!

      2. Mark 65 Silver badge

        Ahem

        Whatever floats your boat.

    3. Suburban Inmate
      Welcome

      Have you seen the superglue?

      I left it here in the hand cream jar.... ;-)

      (I've had a few ladies both bristly and welcoming)

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    G'donyamite

    This is why I love Oz. You legends.

    The land of why not? Do they have the same legions of 'elf n saftey' commisars that we do?

  7. Mark Broadhurst
    FAIL

    I read the title as O2...

    Interesting promo for them I thought...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      IT Angle

      O2!?

      Would that be the IT angle?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Stop

      'elf n saftey'

      Please don't try and turn El Reg comments into the Daily Mail droolers rant.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Headmaster

      re: Do they have the same legions of 'elf n saftey' commisars that we do?

      Yes we do... and then some. Oz has bureaucracy that Blighty's paper-shufflers can only dream of.

      A UK marriage license isn't enough to get your name changed - my wife had to do the deed-poll thing before she could bring her Oz passport into line. And we're talking being married for over 10 years, not some spur-of-the-moment Vegas trip.

      You want by-the-book? Try speeding fines on the motorway which kick in a 2mph over the limit. Through the city, speed limits constantly change by 3-6mph. Six lane roads drop to 25mph near schools, despite there being railings around the pavement, traffic lights on the zebra crossing and a lollipop lady on patrol on the zebra crossing with the traffic lights. It's my daughter's school, but I think at some point you have to let natural selection take it's course!

      You want bizarre? Set out from Melbourne down the nice wide smooth M1 (speed limit 62mph). When you get to the end of the motorway, the speed limit *rises* to 68mph. I'm grateful for the few extra mph, but I just don't understand!

      1. Scorchio!!

        Re: re: Do they have the same legions of 'elf n saftey' commisars that we do?

        Yes, regrettably it's true:

        http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/10/18/gillard_media/

  8. Pinkerton
    Paris Hilton

    I bet...

    ...Artificial Rhonda never had these problems!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sex games

    Somebody obviously misunderstood 'watersports'...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Somebody obviously misunderstood 'watersports'..."

      I don't know about giving, but they certainly appear to have been taking the piss.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The joyriders were male and female

    but what about the joyridees? Enquiring minds, and all that...

  11. Les Matthew

    Not a flotation device?

    I say, whatever floats your boat.

  12. SImon Hobson Silver badge
    Happy

    Deliberate use of words ?

    >> The male and female joyriders, both 19, mounted their blow-up transportation

    The mind boggles !

  13. Silent but Deadly
    Unhappy

    This has ruined my day

    Now when I google "sex toy" and "torrent" all I get are news articles.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Photo gallery

    http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/photo-gallery/gallery-e6frf94x-1225989274763

    1. Stuart Elliott
      Paris Hilton

      Hot damn

      Looking at the girl in question, and the guy needs a blow up doll in the first place...? wtf?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    A simple mistake

    This is obviously a simple case of confusion between "pontoon" and "poontang".

    The rubber Mack, please.

  16. Michael Smith
    FAIL

    Right at the pound bend tunnel

    The yarra is pretty sedate down that stretch until it suddenly goes underground at the Pound Bend Tunnel.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pound_Bend_Tunnel

    You can try the tunnel on a kayak when the river is low but its pretty dangerous. Flooding would have pushed the river level right up to the roof of the tunnel, leaving little room for dolls and passengers.

  17. Tigra 07 Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    There's a fair few uses...

    "the powers that be warned latex ladies are not recognised flotation devices"

    Still useful for getting in the carpool lane tho

  18. Alan Ferris
    Paris Hilton

    I'm disgusted

    Don't Australians know what a blow-up woman is for?

    Education standards are slipping, everywhere

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